Click. Click. Click. 

The sound of Kurt's Thomas Engel Hart boots was loud over the hardwood floors. The boy himself hadn't said a word since they entered the apartment. Blaine had held his hand and listened to the realtor tell them about the extravagant history of the old Manhattan building. Blaine had asked questions, inspected the details of the trims and the cabinets of the kitchen, taken a closer look at the shelves and drawers in the walk-in-closet, and taken a little extra time to look over the painting on the walls.

Now they had come to the end of the tour of the place; the living room.

It was a big, bright room with light wooden floors and full wall windows, giving a great view of the city. By the corner was a door leading to a big stone terrace with flowery details around the walls. As they stepped out there, Blaine could immediately feel the air much cleaner up there than down on the street, and it was a sweet sensation as it filled his lungs.

“Can we have a moment?” Kurt politely asked the realtor. The lady smiled with a nod before she disappeared back inside. Blaine wasn't sure what to expect, but when Kurt let go of his hand to walk across the terrace he was left confused.

For a few seconds Blaine stood back to observe Kurt by the wall, scouting over the city, taking in the view. When he decided that they needed to either tell the realtor they were done, or that they had questions, Blaine made his way over to stand next to Kurt, leaning against the tall mural.

“You haven't said a word since we came here -” he opened quietly. He could see that Kurt was lost in deep thoughts, and he felt bad for having to pull him out of his own world, but he couldn't take up anymore of the realtor's time. This was the third apartment she had shown them over three days, and so far they hadn't given her a yes or no on any of them.

“I've been observing,” Kurt finally said. He took a deep breath and turned to face Blaine, leaning his side against the hot stone. He wrinkled his nose and squeezed his eyes slightly shut from the sharp sun baking down over them. The sight made a bright grin spread on Blaine's face.

“Is that so?” He asked, forcing himself to focus on the situation, rather than on the freckles spread across Kurt's nose, and the cute spark in his eyes. “What do you think?”

With a sigh Kurt looked to the sky, squinting his eyes a bit before looking back to Blaine who was standing about a foot from him. This kind of distance was so rare for them, that it nearly felt strange. Usually they were literally sitting on top of each other, or at least holding onto each other's hands or however it was suitable for the situation. But this was business.

“Are you serious? This is... Blaine, I am just a kid from Ohio,” Kurt finally let out.

“So what? So am I?” Blaine burst out in confused response. Apparently this was going to be a completely different conversation than Blaine first expected. Kurt shook his head and turned to lean his back against the wall, letting him have a look inside the big space of the empty penthouse.

“Not the Ohio I am from,” Kurt pointed out and casually crossed his arms over his chest, crossing his ankles in the same fashion. “Blaine, these apartments have so high to the ceiling that my dad's house could fit in there.” He exaggerated and worried the corner of his bottom lip between his teeth for a second, before his mouth cracked in a grin, a small chuckle falling out. “This is overwhelming for me. This is – huge.”

“Is it too much? Do you want us to tone it down a bit? Cause I can ask Lindsey to find us something smaller. Whatever you want,” Blaine said, honestly not seeing himself in some small apartment close to the ground. A place without a doorman, and no bathtub. Somewhere outside of Manhattan. Maybe even Brooklyn. A shiver ran down his spine and Blaine gushed by the mere thought. He really hoped Kurt didn't want that – not that he could see that being of any wish to his boyfriend. No, the boy definitely had developed a hang of the high end in their time together.

“I grew up in a small house where the most we had was a spare room and half a tire shop. Ever since my mom got sick when I was little my dad has been working his butt off to make sure we didn't lack anything, and to make sure we could keep our health insurance. But we never had anything excessive,” Kurt told, not that it was any surprise to Blaine. He knew Kurt wasn't exactly from a wealthy home, but he had never considered that it was something that was on Kurt's mind when he was in Blaine's circles. At least not anymore.

“Even though it seemed impossible for me to ever get out of there, I still dreamed of seeing myself in glossy magazines, showing off my fancy big house with ridiculous modern art on the walls and one of those views you only see in movies, because they are so beautiful they have to be photoshopped,” he explained, a small laugh escaping.

Blaine watched him, keeping to his own foot away as he listened to Kurt speak. He enjoyed it, he had come to realize. He enjoyed listening to Kurt tell about his life in the working class, and his big dreams of turning it around for himself. When Blaine grew up he had watched Disney movies, and musicals, but he hadn't seen them as anymore than entertaining for bored moments. However, when he was listening to Kurt speak now, it occurred to him that what had been tools to waste time for him, had been dreams for someone else. It had been promises and hopes of one day getting to where Blaine had been living every day his entire life. In a better place with economical stability and no worries of how the next pay check would look, or if it would even come. It had been openings into a world of easy living, and nights of sleep, rather than sleepless nights with concerns of how to pay the hospital bills.

“Kurt, you do know that you don't have to worry about anything now, right?” Blaine asked. He took a careful half-step closer, letting his fingers stretched towards Kurt on the hot stone he was resting his arm on. 

With a smile, Kurt turned to face him again. His eyes were a bright azure in the July sun, and Blaine couldn't help wishing they had time and place to be close enough for him to count the golden spots dancing around his corneas.

“I do. Which is why I am so – quiet, I guess. I've been imagining myself in a place like this for as long as I can remember, but now that I am here, I...” He trailed off, rolled his lips into his mouth as he sent the giant living room another view before standing straight and looking down to where he had started turning his fingers in front of himself.

“I guess I am sort of nervous that I don't know how to be someone who belongs here,” he quietly admitted. “I mean, I know I am meant to be with you. That I belong with you. But I have no idea how to not worry about everything. How to not be concerned about whether or not my dad remembers to get a proper, healthy lunch at work. Whether the family will be gathered for dinner. Whether there is milk in the fridge and soap in the bathroom.”

For the first time in the time Blaine had known him, Kurt seemed ashamed of his heritage, of his upbringing. They hadn't discussed it much, but Kurt had always come across as proud of who he was and where he had his feet solidly planted in the Lima, Ohio ground by the Hummel Tires And Lube shop. But right now it seemed that he felt himself out of place in the world he had entered when he first agreed to go home with Blaine that night a long time ago.

With a soft sigh Blaine came closer and used a crooked finger to lift Kurt's chin, so he could make their eyes meet. “Doll-face. You never have to worry about that ever again. I promise. But I won't take it away from you either. I know that we don't exactly have the same background, and I'm not gonna force you into just getting with the program here,” Blaine assured him. “We're here together, right? So, whatever you need. If you need to call home to check up on your dad every now and then, that is completely cool. If you need to be in charge of shopping for the necessities rather than the help I had planned to hire, then that is how we will do it. I don't know shit about being out on my own either. We'll just wing it and see how it goes,” Blaine shrugged with a nonchalant smirk.

While Blaine spoke Kurt's eyes had been drifting between his boyfriend's. He had clearly been listening, and Blaine was happy to see that he could read Kurt's face. He could feel that Kurt was appreciative of the way Blaine was putting it out there, for them to go around the new world they were about to enter; the new big step they were about to take as a couple, but also for themselves as individuals.

“Thank you. For – being so understanding, and open. Ready to accommodate,” Kurt smiled and let himself move closer. “I am just really nervous, okay? On one hand I can't wait to do this with you, but on the other hand I am so terrified. I've seriously considered locking myself inside my dad's basement and never coming out again,” he rambled out quickly.

“Hey, none of that. The least you can do is be terrified with me, so we can be terrified together. You don't think I'm scared shitless here? A few months ago I wouldn't even have taken a guy home, and here I'm about to move in with some brat I picked up in a bar,” Blaine joked with a laugh as he slipped his hand onto Kurt's back. He leaned in to press a kiss to the corner of Kurt's mouth, kissing away the overly dramatic pout, before he took a step back to his original spot. He took a look down to the street under them filled with yellow cabs and people on bikes. The city noise wasn't as booming up there, but it wasn't so distant that it couldn't be heard. It was a nice middle ground.

“What do you say, we go tell Lindsey that we wanna think about the three places we have seen so far, and then we will have lunch with her Friday to discuss the situation? We'll pick up the books on the apartments at her office later, and then we can have some time to talk it through, and make sure we have taken all pros and cons into consideration before making a final decision,” Blaine suggested and threw out his open palm as if to visualize that he was laying the offer on the table.

With a firm nod Kurt looked as if a heavy burden was being lifted off his chest. “Yes. Yes, let's do that,” he agreed. “I just love it all. Everything is so beautiful!” He exclaimed in a high pitched tone. He moved closer to put a peck to Blaine's cheek before grabbing his hand to link their fingers so he could lead them inside to meet the realtor who had been patiently waiting for them inside.

xXx

It was Wednesday afternoon when Blaine and Kurt found themselves holding hands as they were walking down the streets. Usually Blaine wasn't one to walk around, he would much rather call for a cab to take him from A to B, but Kurt had wanted to get out there and feel the city, so who was Blaine to deny him that? And he certainly wasn't going to let Kurt prance around the streets of New York by himself.

For once it was a cloudy day, so the sun wasn't killing, yet the temperature was remarkably pleasant for a day in the middle of July. Blaine had wanted to take Kurt to a furniture store he knew had unique pieces found by the owner traveling around the world. Unfortunately, he hadn't had the guts to propose the idea. He was pretty sure Kurt would find it completely outrageous that they should consider furniture before knowing the space their stuff would decorate, and much to his dismay, Blaine was already mentally agreeing, so he had decided to wait with the suggestion until they had made a final yes/no and knew exactly what their place would be.

“How long have you been coming here?” Kurt suddenly asked as they passed a café with small tables on the sidewalk and a little too eager need to resemble a Parisian stereotype. “When was your first time in New York?”

It took Blaine a little while to be sure that he had heard the question right. Being in New York was like going back to visit his mom, only more pleasant. It was just something he had always been doing. It was a part of his upbringing, and it had become a part of who he was.

“Uhm, always -” he started, pulling Kurt a little closer as a woman with a stroller and a dog filled the sidewalk. Obviously a Manhattan-nanny. Underpaid for a way too hard and ungrateful job for someone just out of college, simply wishing to jump into that NYC fairy tale life. Boy, did she have to be disappointed by the lack of glamor.

“I think the first time I was here, where I was actually aware of what New York was, and what was going on around me was when I was 11. My dad liked to take me,” Blaine told with a shrug. “When I grew up we all knew that everyone's parents were having affairs to all sides, but my parents didn't. My mom always said that New York was my dad's mistress. He loved it here.” It was odd. Blaine hadn't thought about his dad for a long time.

After his dad passed away he had filed him away in the back of his mind. His dad had been a very important person in Blaine's life, but once he was gone – he was gone. There was a void, but Blaine had extra'ed up on his use of work, guys and alcohol. It wasn't a void that had been gnawing, but now that the subject had come up, the void felt like a valley in his chest, and he realized that he missed the old man. Not to mention that he apparently was heavily hit by the fact that his dad would never know that Blaine had finally met the guy who could keep him inside on a Friday night, and make him cut work early because he would rather be home to watch TV on the couch.

“My dad was a musical nut. He loved anything Broadway and off-Broadway. If people were acting and singing, my dad would be there if he could,” Blaine said as he led Kurt to the host of a small restaurant by a beautiful park. They were shown to a table with a great view to the park, away from the traffic, making it easier to have a conversation.

“I thought your dad was a military man,” Kurt commented once the host left them with a promise to send a waiter to take their drink orders right way. Kurt's brows were furrowed in confusion, and a tiny, golden lock had found its way down to his forehead, miraculously escaping the neat do-up of his fringe. Blaine felt a need to reach out to twirl the lock around his finger, to feel the soft hair, but he reminded himself that as soon as they were back to the apartment he could touch all he wanted, and touching Kurt's hair in public would definitely not go unpunished.

“Yeah. So?” Blaine said, not seeing the connection between what he had been telling and Kurt's comment.

“So – I just don't see the combo. A military man into musicals. Isn't that something that makes the military curl their toes?” Kurt asked, seeming a little unsure of what it was he had bewildered himself out in. He was clearly embarrassed that he had made an assumption that was off.

“Well, my dad was highly respected. He was high ranked, and the people he surrounded himself with found entertainment in theater as well. I think, in a job like that, they need to find something as far from their occupation as possible, to keep them busy in their off-time, so they won't be caught up in politics twenty four hours a day,” Blaine pointed out.

As the waiter came to their table he ordered water for the table and iced tea for both of them. He loved how Kurt was always looking at him with wide eyes when he ordered for them both. It was like a kid watching a magician do a complicated trick. It was no secret to Blaine that Kurt was still impressed with his way around the world, regardless of how many restaurants or museums or shows Blaine had taken him to.

Kurt nodded, understanding at what Blaine was telling. It always seemed to Blaine that whenever he was talking about a private part of his life, like his family or his time in school, Kurt paid extra attention and made sure to label it and file it properly in his head, so he would never forget it and always be able to find it out if he needed it. From time to time, Blaine could get almost scared of how much Kurt cared and how big an effort he put into their relationship, because it made Blaine fear that he could never measure up to that. But then Kurt would kiss his ponders away, and he would be reminded that Kurt loved him for who he was, and that with every moment Blaine was proved that Kurt's love for him was real, it made Blaine grow a little more.

“I suppose you're right. I've never really paid much attention to the invisible side of that life, but I can't imagine what it must be like to be constantly focused on politics and tactics,” Kurt said and smiled politely at their waiter when he returned with their drinks.

“Really? I thought you wanted to get into acting. You do know that there is almost nothing but politics behind the stages of theater, right?” Blaine informed him. He watched Kurt's jaw drop for a split second, but he managed to close it just as quickly.

“I don't want any of that. I just wanna act, and sing,” Kurt said, trying to shield his surprise to the revelation, so Blaine pulled his chair a little closer to the table and straightened the napkin on the corner with his fingers.

“Doll-face, listen, there is no such thing as 'just' acting or singing or working – everything in life is filled with politics. You can't avoid it. You need to know a thing or two about it to make sure you won't be eaten by the wolves out there. Especially in a town like New York,” Blaine said, his voice drifting more and more into the tone he had adopted for when he consulted people who were new in the industry. Young models, and up-and-coming designers. People who didn't have a grasp of how the business worked, and were in danger of being chewed and spit out before they even had a chance of making a foot print in the direction of where they wanted to go.

“I don't wanna get involved in anything. I just wanna be on stage. Entertain people. Make people smile and laugh and cry,” Kurt shrugged, shrinking slightly in his seat.

“I get that, but you need to play the game. You can't just walk in the stage door of any theater and be allowed to stand in front of the masses.” Blaine picked up the menu and started perusing it. This was one of the conversations he always feared having with Kurt. The ones where their age difference was obvious. Both in age and life experience. The ones where Blaine had something he felt he owed Kurt to teach him about. He always feared that he would make Kurt feel inferior when speaking to him, and he was afraid that if it happened just once, it could poison their entire relationship.

“I know that, Blaine. But I don't wanna cheat my way into it. I wanna be there because of my talent. Because of what I can do, how I perform. Not because I know someone who knows someone,” Kurt objected, the confusion on his face now mixing with a slight hint of shock.

“I'm not disputing that. Unfortunately talent isn't what decides the fate of performers. There are so many talented people out there who won't be allowed on a stage, at least not a stage where they will be seen, because they don't care for the politics of it all,” Blaine explained. He was starting to look for a way out. He didn't believe they could come to an agreement on this, and he definitely didn't want it to cloud their day out. He wanted Kurt to know his way around, and he wanted Kurt to know what kind of business it was that he had set his head to go for, but if he was going to shut off for the reality of how it worked, Blaine had no idea how to make sure he got through with as few bruises and scratches as possible.

“Blaine, please... I'll do it my own way. All I want is for you to support me, okay? Can you do that?” Kurt asked with a heavy sigh. He pushed his menu over the table and stirred the straw in his glass. With his eyes locked on the ice cubes dancing, Kurt seemed to be purposely avoiding Blaine's eyes, so he let his hand over to close around Kurt's, stopping him from fumbling with the straw.

“Doll-face, you will always have my support. I just wanna make sure you won't get hurt,” he said and brushed his thumb over Kurt's hand. “We'll find you a great school, and they'll give you everything you need. No matter what, I will always think you're an incredible performer,” Blaine assured him.

Kurt withdrew his hand and hid it under the table. “I know, Blaine, but you can't protect me from everything. I need to make my own experiences as well. I can't live my life hiding behind what you have learned in your life. I would never learn anything myself,” he said, a tinge of pain in his voice. He turned his face away, staring out over the park.

A little group of birds had gathered in a birdbath to chirp around on skinny feet, shaking their feathers and making drops fly around them. A little away a teenage boy was playing with a ball he kicked away, only to have a dog come running back with the worn out leather. A police officer was riding his horse around, scouting over the space to make sure everything was in order. All in all, a normal summer day in the park.

The scenery reminded Blaine of when he had been younger. When his parents had taken him and Cooper to New York during his dad's vacation, and they had played tourists. Back when he and Cooper had gotten along, and when his mom wasn't constantly on his back. When things like boys, and responsibilities, and life ruining tragedies weren't anything Blaine had to care about.

“Blaine -” Kurt suddenly said quietly as he turned to face Blaine again. A sadness had drifted over his features, and he suddenly seemed very small, and not at all like the grown man Blaine had come to think of him as.

“Maybe... Maybe it's for the best if I stay in the school. I mean, if I go to a boarding school here, and just come stay with you over the weekends,” he peeped out, and Blaine felt like he had his face mushed into a pile of snow.

“What?”

“I just... I love you so much, but you are so settled in your life, and I haven't tried anything. Everything I have tried in my life has been with you. I wanna live a little, and do stupid things and make mistakes. I wanna – screw up. Have friends that I can go out with and stay out all night and do things I regret the next day. I wanna be stupid, and a teenager. I've been adult all of my life. I need to be a kid before it's too late,” Kurt said thickly. He stared down in the table, shame and fear flaming over his face, only interrupted by the pain that served as base.

Blaine didn't respond. He stayed still in his seat. The words were dancing around his brain. He could almost see them in front of him as he was staring at Kurt in shock. He felt so stupid. He had been so sure that this was something they both wanted, that the boarding school would only be temporary and in time Kurt would only end up spending a few months there before he moved permanently in with Blaine in their apartment. Not once had Kurt expressed interest in actually being in the school.

Their apartment.

“You can't be serious,” Blaine huffed out.

Without knowing what he was actually doing, Blaine got to his feet. He pulled a credit card from his wallet and let it fall to the table. Kurt was staring at him, tears forming in his eyes, probably from shock of the abrupt reaction. “I need some air,” Blaine declared before he turned around and maneuvered his way out between the tables, leaving Kurt alone in the restaurant surrounded by strangers.

xXx

Kurt watched as Blaine disappeared out of the restaurant establishment. He felt like his heart was leaving with the man, shrinking with every step Blaine took. Never had he thought Blaine would walk out on him like that. It had been a long time since they had been in an argument, but Blaine had never just left him in an unknown place. Even before they got together, Blaine had always made sure to get Kurt back safe.

And there he was; all alone in big New York. How ironic it was, considering what had prompted Blaine's leaving.

As soon as Kurt was capable of moving again he rushed to his feet. He grabbed the plastic card from the table and sought out the host. He made sure their drinks got paid for before he hurried to the street.

For a few moments he was just spinning in circles around himself. He tried remembering where he was and where they had come from, figuring out where to go, or what to do about himself, but the more he thought, the more he failed. In a panic move, Kurt headed down the street he and Blaine had come from, trying to remember how to get back to the apartment, but he had completely lost track of location. He realized he was so used to rely on Blaine, and for Blaine to be in control of the situation, that he had stopped paying attention. He was simply trusting Blaine blindly to steer him wherever they needed to go.

With an unexpected pace Kurt hurried down the street, not sure where he was going or what he was going to do. After having walked for a few blocks it broke to him that he was panting, his distraught state having completely robbed him of his ability to keep up with himself. His heart was pounding and his head felt like it was growing, so he sat down on a bench on the corner of the street.

Before he knew what he was doing, Kurt had found out his phone and was pressing buttons. As he let the phone to his ear he closed his eyes and took a deep breath that drew tears to his eyes. He felt lonely and abandoned. Left behind by the man he loved because he had expressed a desire to figure out his own life.

“Kurt? What's up, man? How's the city treating you?”

For some reason it hit Kurt pretty hard that the phone was picked up by Finn. It was stupid, because it was – after all – Finn he had called up. He wasn't sure why he had chosen to seek consolation with his brother, out of all the people he knew. Especially considering how Finn tended to not exactly be the most  sensitive when it came to relationship issues.

“Finn – Blaine just... left me. He just walked out on me in the middle of a restaurant,” Kurt whimpered into the phone, curling in on himself on the bench. It was suddenly very evident to Kurt that he was sitting in the middle of the street, crying into the phone. He felt like he was in a cheap rom-com.

“He what?” Finn boomed, nearly making Kurt jump in his seat. “What the hell happened? What is this guy's problem?” He continued, and Kurt screwed up his face.

“We were just – talking. And I said that I figured it would be best for the both of us if... I actually did board on the school. So I had time to be a teenager, and do teenager stuff and -” Kurt's voice broke. It seemed stupid to take it that hard, but he was incredibly fragile at the moment, and Blaine was the one person he had been counting on to be there through everything. The one person who would stay with him, even if everyone else should turn against him.

“Geez, bro. I don't know what to say. That's really rude of him to just leave you like that. Don't you think that – maybe he was just surprised and didn't know how to handle it?” Finn suggested, but paused. “Wait – wasn't that the plan all along? For you to go to a boarding school, and then Blaine would just move into a place close by, and then you could spend time together whenever it fit with your school?” Finn asked confused.

A tear rolled down Kurt's face as he wrinkled up his forehead. He had called for sympathy, and instead the phone call turned out to be physically hurting his brain.

“That's what we told my dad and Carole, yes. You don't think I was actually planning on living with a bunch of strangers, did you?” Kurt huffed out and fumbled with a fold in his jeans. “I – I was terrified, Finn. You saw what people in McKinley did to me! How was I supposed to just stroll into some school and trust people enough to live with them?” He pointed out, possibly a little sharper than he meant to.

There was a heavy sigh as a response from the other end of the line and Kurt found footing to stand back up. He rolled his eyes and looked around himself for a moment before he took back up the direction he had been walking in before.

“Well, I don't really think I should be getting in the middle of that, but... Don't you think Blaine was just surprised? I mean, if you had already agreed to move in with him in his new apartment as soon as you got to New York, then it must be a pretty big blow to his confidence that you don't want that anymore,” Finn pointed out and Kurt stopped in frustration.

“But that's not even what it was about! I just wanna live a little before I settle down. I love him! I just wanna try to be on my own before I go out and live with someone,” Kurt screeched, stressed out that it seemed like Finn wasn't getting his side of the story.

“I know that, Kurt! But what if Blaine doesn't? You can't blame the guy if all he heard was that you don't wanna live with him anymore -” Finn cut through. It was rare that Finn really stood in character, but he sure knew how to cut through when Kurt was getting hysterical. Probably due to dating Rachel for so long, Kurt thought to himself.

“Do you really – Do you really think that he thinks I don't love him?” Kurt peeped out. He tried to turn the situation, but he still couldn't see how Blaine could have taken it so harsh that he had to leave in such a rash manner.

“I didn't say that. All I'm saying is that you need to go back and talk to him. Hear what he has to say. Odds are that he's probably just as worked up about this as you are.” Whenever Finn managed to make a reasonable suggestion like that, it always took Kurt by surprise. He didn't consider Finn stupid, more so a little slow. He had to work a little harder to keep up with what was going on around him, which made it even more of an impact when he actually did say something logical.

Kurt pinched the middle of his eyes and took a deep breath. “I know. I – I know. I'll get a cab. I have no idea how to get back to the apartment,” he sniffed and looked around to see if he could eye out a taxi. “Thank you. I just don't know what to do right now. He is everything to me!” He stammered.

“Kurt, it'll be alright. Just let the man have his chance of talking,” Finn said patiently.

Once Kurt had himself in check they said goodbye and hung up. He ran his fingers through his hair and tried to collect his thoughts. He knew Finn was right and that the least he could do was to give Blaine a chance to explain himself, but he couldn't help the feeling of abandonment that was filling up his entire body and soul.

xXx

It was late when Blaine returned to the apartment. When he walked in, he found the living room dark, and Kurt was bundled up in the corner of the couch with the TV running. His hair was wet, like he had showered recently, and he was wearing nothing but a pair of burgundy boxers and one of Blaine's work shirts. He didn't even look in Blaine's direction when he sat down on the opposite end of the couch.

“Hi,” Blaine said quietly. Embarrassed. “I – I'm sorry,” he mumbled, not sure what he was expecting to happen.

“Bet you are. It's about eight hours since you just left me there, looking like an idiot,” Kurt said, but he didn't sound sour or mad as Blaine would have guessed him to be. More hopeless, than anything else. He didn't even look away from the TV, simply stayed there; hopeless and tired.

“Doll-face, I -” Blaine started, but was abruptly cut off.

“Don't you 'doll-face' me, Blaine!” Kurt burst out. “You just walked away from me. In the middle of a city I've only ever been to a few times, and you of all people should know that what I know of this city is the inside of your apartment. You didn't call or text. All you did was walk away.” He had snapped the remote up and turned off the TV, leaving the entire apartment dark and ominously quiet. Blaine could hear his voice was shaking, but he didn't know whether it was due to rage or sadness.

“Kurt, just listen to me. Please -” He begged, and when Kurt didn't interrupt him after a brief pause, he deemed it okay to continue.

“Listen, it was a really heavy slap in the face, okay? I thought we were in this together. We have been planning this apartment and this move together since it was first brought up. And now we are so close, and out of nowhere you tell me that you don't want it. What did you expect? For me to just throw my hands up and be all cool with it? For me to laugh it off and say 'Sure, my boyfriend said he wanted to move in with me, but now he would rather live in a frat house. That's awesome!'?” 

Blaine got to his feet again and took a step away from the couch. He needed to breathe. He knew what he had done was wrong. Walking away, and then not coming back for hours without a word, was wrong. He didn't deny that. But he couldn't just be cool with it.

“That's not what happened, Blaine. You didn't even take a chance to let it sink in,” Kurt said, his voice back on the ground. Now he sounded like he was pleading. For Blaine to take a moment, probably.

Blaine's eyes were slowly starting to get used to the dark, and Kurt looked like he was frustrated and close to giving up. The very last thing Blaine wanted him to ever do. With a deep sigh Blaine turned around and left the living room.

“No, Blaine! Stop that! You can't just walk away every time we have some sort of disagreement,” Kurt yelled after him, but when Blaine returned almost immediately after he stopped bluntly.

In his hand Blaine had a big plastic bag that he handed Kurt with a poker face. For a few seconds Kurt simply stared at the bag before he accepted it, but he still didn't do anything about it.

“Well, are you going to open it?” Blaine asked dryly.

“You can't buy your way out of this,” Kurt drew, but Blaine could hear the curiosity in his voice, and see it on his face.

“I'm not trying to.” Blaine rolled his eyes and gestured for Kurt to find his way back to the couch. Before Blaine sat down himself, he turned on the lights and opened the terrace door. He pulled off his vest and opened his tie before sitting down next to Kurt.

He still hadn't opened the bag. He was just staring at it, not offering Blaine so much as a glance. After a moment Kurt finally let his bottom lip between his teeth and started to pull out the cardboard boxes from the plastic.

“Computers? You bought computers?” Kurt asked, a mix of confusion and offense written on his face. “And how is this relevant to what the hell has happened today?” He wanted to know.

Blaine almost let a little smile curl at the corners of his mouth. He loved it when he could perform something that left Kurt with a lot of questions, forcing him to beg Blaine for the answers. Still, he was painfully aware that this wasn't the time to gloat.

“When I left the restaurant earlier I was walking around town for a long time. A few months ago I would probably have found a bar, but this time I found a park instead. I sat down and got a drink, and I pondered over what you had said,” Blaine started telling, and he was presented with the pain he had met earlier.

“You have no idea how it felt for me to hear that you had changed your mind. To me it was like you telling me you didn't want me anymore -”

“That's not what I meant at all, Blaine!” Kurt broke in, but Blaine held up a hand to stop.

“I know it wasn't. But that doesn't change that it was the way it felt to me. I couldn't stop thinking that this could mean that you're gonna meet some guy who is your age, who can be your age with you, who can go out and be young and crazy and do all of those things with you that I have already done,” he explained calmly.

Before he knew it, Kurt had moved over the couch to grab Blaine's shoulders firmly so their eyes could meet. “Blaine, I am not my age. Why would I want some 16 year old who find body fluids and misogynistic jokes funny? Especially when I have this incredible guy who likes fashion and art and would rather have an intelligent conversation with me, than drive a grocery kart into a lamppost?” Kurt said seriously, but couldn't help laughing a little.

“Yes, I wanna try to be out there and be with those people, but it's more to learn how to be on my own, than anything else. This has nothing to do with you. I wanna make friends! Your friends are amazing, but I need my own friends as well. People who live in my world of homework, and tests, and teachers being in charge. If I start a new school like this, no one will want to be my friend, because they won't give me a chance to get to know me. They will just know that I am that weird kid who moved from Ohio to New York to live with his boyfriend who's twice his age,” Kurt pointed out and ran a soft hand down Blaine's cheek.

“Doll-face, I know. I know, baby. Which is why I got these. I got one for you, and one for your dad – because I figured that if we're going to be apart, I would want to be able to see your face at least once a day, and your old laptop is worth nothing – and then I figured that being so far from your family is going to be hard, so you should have a chance to see your dad as well,” Blaine told with a nonchalant shrug.

Confusion was still on Kurt's face, but after a moment it seemed as if the message finally dawned on him. He tilted his head lightly and turned to press a kiss onto Blaine's mouth. He ran his fingers through his hair, and looked at him with a gentle smile.

“You constantly surprise me,” he cooed and ended with a content sigh. He turned around to put the boxes back in the plastic bag before putting it on the floor next to the couch. After putting the TV remote on the coffee table, Kurt turned to pull his legs onto the couch so he could have a better look at Blaine.

“You know, it still doesn't make everything okay. You still just left me without saying anything, and I didn't hear from you for hours. Blaine, that is not okay. You should have stayed and talked to me,” he said heavy. It was very clear that Kurt didn't want to keep hanging onto this anymore than Blaine did, but even if Blaine didn't want to admit it, Kurt had always been the adult in their relationship. At least when it came to nurturing their relationship.

“I know. I just couldn't, okay? To me this was the same as if you broke up with me. That's not a conversation I wanna be present for. Besides, I didn't plan on staying away for so long. I meant to just go back home and wait for you here,” Blaine told and leaned back on the couch.

He wanted to reach out. To touch Kurt. He was sitting there in practically nothing, his pale skin so soft and clear right in front of Blaine, but unfortunately the relationship had made Blaine grow, and he knew that it would probably only make the situation worse if he started doing any of that. Even if he wasn't thinking of sexual touching (not that much, at least).

Suddenly it seemed as if something hit Kurt, making him return to the lost and confounded state he had been in practically the entire evening. His eyebrows furrowed and his forehead created lines in the otherwise smooth skin.

“But... if you had planned to just go home, and you just went to a park, and then to get the computers – why are you only just coming home now? Where did you go?” He asked carefully, seeming like he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

“I – I did go to a bar. After I had been to the park, and to the Apple Store. I had a few drinks, talked to some of the people there,” Blaine shrugged like it wasn't a big deal, but he knew it was, and he knew he had to explain himself sooner or later.

“Why? Why didn't you just come home?” Kurt wondered, a sense of desperation under the surface of his voice. He was done trying to drag it out of Blaine. He wanted answers, and he wanted them now.

A little chuckle fell from Blaine's lips. He leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. He ran a hand down his face and looked away. “Because – I was scared to...” He admitted awkwardly. When he had finally said the words he dared to look back to Kurt.

“You were scared? Of what?” Kurt burst out, like it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard.

“Kurt, you scare me sometimes, okay? I already felt shitty enough as it was. I wasn't exactly eager to come home to have you make me feel even worse. You make me feel so guilty, because I know that I fuck up – but then you sit there, and you get so sad or disappointed, and I just wanna go bury myself,” Blaine told as Kurt's jaw dropped.

“Besides that, I wasn't ready to let go of the reality of you and me living together. I wasn't ready to let go of the fact that you would go and live with a bunch of other guys. I needed to keep it for just a little longer,” he ended, truly apologetic as he hid his face in his hands, as if that would give him a few minutes to breathe outside of the room, outside of the apartment.

“Blaine... I love you so much, but you need to get better at your confrontational skills,” Kurt sighed, and in a heartbeat he was next to Blaine with an arm around his shoulders. With a smile he leaned in to press a kiss to Blaine's temple before running his fingers through his hair.

“I still want it to be our home. I still want the place to be ours. I wanna create a home that is something you and I have built from scratch, and the memories to be made there will be our memories. Together. I'm still gonna spend a lot of time there. I'll still come running to you whenever life doesn't go my way, or when I need a break, or if I need to be pampered – or if I need to be fucked out of my head,” Kurt laughed. “I still want to have a say in this. But you know what is the most important of it all?” He asked and grabbed Blaine's curls firmly to force the man to look at him.

“What?” Blaine asked dryly, trying to hold back a smile from Kurt's words.

“The best part is that that no matter what happens I will always be yours,” he replied with a purr.

Grinning broadly Blaine draped his arms around Kurt to pull him close. He slipped down the couch, and dragged Kurt to lie on top of him. It didn't take long for Blaine's legs to be tangled around Kurt's, with Blaine's hands firmly grabbing Kurt's ass.

“No. No dry-humping, Mister. If you want me, you have to take me for real,” Kurt chuckled as Blaine started kissing down his neck. Still, Kurt's hands found their way to the buttons of Blaine's shirt. He fumbled with them, opening Blaine's collar so he could start kissing over the skin that was newly exposed.

“Doll-face, I want you so much. We've been apart all day,” Blaine mumbled into Kurt's ear, his voice on the heavy side of breathing, and his hips on the sensual side of rolling.

“And whose fault is that?” Kurt pointed out. He was obviously trying to be sharp, but the situation had definitely taken him down a few notches, but he wasn't exactly fighting it. “We need to – talk about this thing. We're meeting the realtor soon. We're going back to Lima next week,” he croaked out, but didn't object as Blaine's hands disappeared down the back of his underwear.

With a smirk Blaine sat abruptly up. He closed his arms around Kurt's torso and got to his feet, taking a squealing Kurt with him.

He giggled as Blaine carried the boy to the bedroom. On the way they bumped lightly into the wall, and Kurt fumbled next to the door frame to turn on the light in the room before he was dropped on the bed, making the mattress jump under his sudden weight.

“Well, what apartment did you like the best?” Blaine asked as he disappeared to sit on his knees on the floor. He ran his hands up Kurt's legs before he grabbed the elastic waistband and pulled the fabric down his thighs, over his calves and threw them behind himself without care for where they landed.

“What are you doing? Blaine, have you even had anything to eat since this morning?” Kurt laughed, but still let Blaine spread his legs. A shiver ran through him when Blaine blew a breath of fresh air over his naked pussy.

“Well, I'm about to eat now, aren't I?” Blaine grinned before he leaned closer to place a wet kiss where the pink lips were slightly parted. He smiled to himself as he felt Kurt's tiny wiggle from the contact, and it only made him take a lick up the delicious treat in front of him.

“Now, tell me what apartment you liked the best,” he encouraged, before he snuck his hand up to spread the lips before licking a broad stripe up, followed by another one and another one. Each more excruciatingly slow than the first.

“God! Blaine! How do you expect me to – Fuck!” Kurt groaned. His shoulders lifted a little from the bed, pressing his sex firmer onto Blaine's mouth, before he dug his ass back into the sheets, opening him more.

“Alright. Alright -” he breathed out, trying to focus on what he had to do, rather than what Blaine was doing to him. “I really liked the... shit... the one with the blue walls. The one with – the black and white kitchen. The... bathtub -” He was struggling, and the more it seemed like Kurt was having trouble, the more was Blaine enjoying himself.

“Mhm, that was a good one,” he agreed and sucked lightly on Kurt's clit, eliciting a weak whine from the boy.

“What did you think about – the one with... the red bedroom?” He asked and ran the tip of his tongue in circles at the opening of the wetness.

Kurt's hand shot down to take a grab of Blaine's hair. He pressed his body down against Blaine's mouth, and his opening started fluttering around Blaine's tongue.

“Good. God, so good!” Kurt moaned and Blaine couldn't hold back a little laugh.

“This, or the apartment?” He laughed and looked up at Kurt, but his head was pushed back down.

“Both. Both. Don't stop,” Kurt cried at him and rolled his hips a little. With a smile Blaine decided that he might as well get right to it, so he let his tongue do the work on Kurt's clit alongside of the fingers he slipped inside of him, making Kurt whine loudly.

“The red – walls. So great! Beautiful... The – gold details... Go– gorgeous...” Kurt breathed out, ending with a small whimper as Blaine pressed his fingertips right against Kurt's g-spot. As he was sure this was the right place, he kept his fingers on the spot as he started massaging them in and out of Kurt's body while he looked up.

“So the one with the sea green trims is completely out then?” He asked. Sitting back on his haunches while he worked his fingers, Blaine kept his eyes on Kurt's face as it screwed up in pleasure. The sight was too much, and he let his free hand up to lick over his fingers so he could use them to circle the little bundle of nerves that would surely make Kurt moan for him.

Kurt nodded, his eyes squeezed hard together, and every muscle in his body taut. His lower back lifted a little from the bed before he arched it down in the sheets again, and once again Blaine was positive that this was one of the most beautiful sights in the world. Kurt in utter pleasure, with not a single worry to cloud his mind.

“Good. So we narrowed it down to two,” Blaine teased. He knew that Kurt was just on the brink. He could feel it in how tight he was around his fingers, and hear it in the way the moans and whimpers were seeming more and more distant by the second. So he moved back down and massaged his tongue heavily against the clitoris, and he knew that it was only a second before -

“Oh my God! Blaine!”

… Kurt came with bravado, squirting all over Blaine's face, splashing the collar of his shirt, and making his fingers cramp.

Carefully Blaine retreated his fingers. He licked them clean before drying them off in his shirt. It needed a serious dry-cleaning anyway, now. He pressed a kiss to Kurt's cunt, only to receive a whimpering: “Please. Break -” and his head being pushed away, before Blaine got to his feet to head for the bathroom so he could strip out of his clothes and wash up.

“The red one,” Kurt suddenly said from the bedroom, his voice much firmer and secure than Blaine had expected it to be already.

“Excuse me?” Blaine dried his face off with a towel and returned to the bedroom where Kurt was lying splayed out on the bed, still wearing Blaine's now completely open shirt, and his pussy still glistening in the artificial light.

“I want the apartment with the red walls in the bedroom,” he said, not a hint of doubt in his mind.

Chuckling Blaine crossed the floor to get on the bed so he could lie down next to Kurt. He laid on his side, his head propped up on one elbow for proper eye contact.

“Did you just have an epiphany or something?” He wondered and grabbed Kurt's one hand to lift it so he could press a kiss to the back.

“You could say that. It just feels – like that's the one. I wanna have my orgasms there,” Kurt shrugged, but stopped Blaine with a finger to his pouty lips before he started laughing. “But I also want that to be the place where you hold me, and you take care of me, and we can talk and joke and have fun. I really liked that place. The atmosphere was nice, and it was a warm place,” he explained and turned to his side so he could cuddle closer to Blaine who instantly had an arm around Kurt's body.

“Yeah. I think so, too. It was really nice. The space was good, and we can do a lot with it. I mean, we need to change a few things on the terrace, and I think we should fix some things in the bathroom as well. But overall that's the one I like the best,” Blaine agreed and kiss Kurt's cheekbone.

Humming Kurt closed his eyes, and twisted his arms around the other so he could disappear completely into Blaine's embrace. He smiled to himself as he felt their naked bodies meet, and Blaine couldn't help taking a deep inhale of the smell of Kurt's hair.

“I'm not going anywhere, Blaine,” Kurt whispered against his collarbone, so Blaine squeezed a little tighter around him and hummed into his hair.

“I know, Doll-face. I know.”