Silverlake Boys
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Silverlake Boys: Knowing Me, Knowing You


E - Words: 6,639 - Last Updated: Nov 10, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 29/? - Created: Jun 18, 2012 - Updated: Nov 10, 2012
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The next morning Blaine woke up from fingers brushing lightly over his back and lips pressed against his jaw.

"Baby - you're phone is ringing," Kurt's voice mumbled against his Adams Apple and Blaine slowly came to his senses from the realization that Beyoncé was singing somewhere in the pocket of the jeans he was still wearing.

He fumbled around for it with a hope that it would stop before he got to it so he wouldn't have to deal with it, but he hoped even more for it to not be Sebastian. It was one thing to talk to Kurt about Sebastian, but it was a completely different matter if he was to have a couple-y morning conversation with him while Kurt was lying wrapped around his body in his bed.

It was Tina.

"Blaine, would you come into the kitchen now!" She hissed into the phone and he was suddenly wide awake. She had been in his room while they were folded into each others arms without as much as a sheet over them. She had to have seen them - it was the only explanation.

It was only around 9 in the morning and sunlight was streaming into the room. It suddenly occurred to him that they had fallen asleep right after their talk and Kurt hadn't even taken off his boots. No wonder he was shaking from being cold everywhere on his body where Kurt wasn't clasped against him.

"Shit!" He whispered into the phone, more directed to himself than to Tina or Kurt.

Kurt raised his head to look up at him with weary eyes. He started biting his lower lip and seemed like he was debating whether or not he should move away from Blaine to give him space for a private conversation.

Blaine didn't even wait; he hung up the phone and rubbed his palms roughly against his face to try getting some circulation to his brain. How was he supposed to tackle this?

"Are you okay? Should I leave?" Kurt asked nervously and was already on his way out of the bed when Blaine grabbed softly around his arms and dragged him back to the mattress.

"No. Please stay if you want to. I just have to go and sort it all out with Tina. I think she was in here while we were asleep, and then she saw us, and with everything that has happened - and yeah, you can imagine."

Kurt sunk back on the pillows and looked like he was holding his breath. He was openly nervous and if the situation hadn't been so scary to himself Blaine would have buried Kurt in cuddles over the adorable way he instinctively clenched his arm around the penguin plush that had stayed in his grip throughout the night.

"I don't wanna come between you two. I don't - I don't wanna cause anymore problems for you than I already have," Kurt said apologetically and Blaine let a hand to his cheek.

"It's gonna be fine. I'll just try and explain it all to her. If you want you can sleep a little more and then I will hurry back to be with you as soon as I'm done. I promise you it will be alright," Blaine assured him.

Sure, the truth was that ever since Kurt had returned to his life everything had turned upside down and he had been having a few more controversies with Tina than usual, but he didn't want Kurt to feel like it was all his fault, because he had been jus as big a part of the chaos himself. Besides, he was convinced that as soon as Tina knew the full story she would calm down and be understanding to their… situation.

Kurt smiled and looked less worried, so Blaine leaned down to kiss his nose before he pushed off his own shoes, closed the curtains to shut out the sharp sunlight and headed for the door.

"I'll wait for you," Kurt said right as he was about to turn the doorknob and an urge to go back to the bed tried taking over Blaine, but instead he forced himself to smile and leave the room.

"What is going on here?" Tina demanded to know the second he stepped into the kitchen. She looked like she had witnessed The White House being beamed up by a UFO.

Tina was leaning against the kitchen table with her arms crossed over her chest and fully dressed for going to class. Blaine knew that she wasn't angry even though she sounded like it. She was confused and frustrated that her best friend had run straight back into the arms of the guy who had taken him apart - while he still kept up having heated phonesex and loving conversations with his boyfriend.

Blaine shyly crossed the floor and sat down on a kitchen chair. He waited for Tina to sit down across the table and apparently his saying gaze was enough because she quickly rolled her eyes and came over to sit down.

The morning was over him like he had run straight into a wall. All of his muscles were tensed and aching, his head was spinning, he was cold and his eyes were itching. He simply needed a day without worrying.

It was nearly impossible to find out where to begin, and the way Tina's eyes were hawking on him didn't make it any easier. He had to explain it to her in a way that would make her see that this was the way things were supposed to be.

After turning it over in his head a few times he decided that there was nothing to do but start with the beginning, so he did.

He started out by telling her how he had come home in the middle of the night after work and a few closing drinks with Martin, and he had found Kurt crying on the stairs where he had to have been waiting for around five hours.

He continued to tell her everything Kurt had told him; about his feelings for Blaine, how he had been looking for him everywhere and in everyone. He told her about their discussion about their boyfriends and how to tackle them - because they wanted to break up with them so they could be with each other instead. The only thing he left out was about the box with their childhood memories - it was too personal and a thing he could only ever share with Kurt.

When he was done Tina had released her arms and let her hands drop to her lap. She was staring at him with big, aware eyes and her mouth slightly ajar. She was just as stunned about the story as Blaine had been all along.

"What does that mean, then? What are you going to do now?" She asked after a moment of silence where she had let everything slowly sink into place.

Blaine flinched. He had to say it - but this time it wouldn't be enough to say that he was going to do it; this time he had to. There was no way around it. It was now or never.

"Sebastian gets home Monday night. I'll talk to him Tuesday. I know he will ask me to come spend the night at his place when he comes home, but I'll tell him that I can't. I'll figure something out. This time I'll really… talk to him," Blaine assured her. The words were stinging in his mouth and felt like acid in his brain. Break Sebastian's heart.

That was what he and Kurt had agreed on - that was the only right thing to do.

"I don't know what to say. This is… I didn't think you would have anything to do with him, but I see your point; you weren't exactly much better yourself," she sighed before she leaned a little forward over the table to make her fingertips lightly meet Blaine's.

"Blaine, you know that I love Sebastian, but you're my best friend. I love you more and I just want you to be happy. If you really trust that he won't screw you over this time - then I will look forward to see you happy with him."

Blaine knew that she still had her precautions about Kurt and he didn't blame her. On the other hand he also knew that she meant what she had said. Now he only needed to figure out what to do about Mike in the midst of it all.

He didn't get to talk it over with her though because she abruptly jumped to her feet when she remembered that she had been on her way to class and now was extremely late. Blaine got to his feet and she dragged him in to a tight hug.

"Just… take care of yourself. I hate seeing you as screwed up as you have been lately. I don't want that - I miss your pretty smile," she cooed before she kissed his cheek and hurried out of the kitchen and Blaine could hear the door slamming stressful after her.

"Is everything okay?" Kurt asked from the bedroom door and Blaine nearly jumped from the startle. He hadn't seen Kurt showing up.

Kurt walked past the living room and through the kitchen to take Blaine's hands. He smiled nervously at him before he leaned in to bury his face against Blaine's with his nose hidden against his cheek, his eyelashes tickling over Blaine's temple and his lips ghosting over his cheek.

"It's fine. She's… cool," Blaine mumbled with fatigue washing back over him.

Kurt pressed his lips to his cheek and let his thumbs brush over Blaine's fingers before he let his one hand close around Blaine's and led him back to the bedroom.

Kurt closed the door after them leaving the room in nearly complete darkness, then he started peeling off Blaine's clothes until he was only wearing his t-shirt and underwear. He realized that Kurt had taken off his boots and was working on getting his own clothes off now. As soon as Kurt was only wearing a tank top and his own underwear he pushed the bedspread to the floor and led Blaine to lie down with him.

When they were under the covers and were facing each other on the pillows Kurt let his fingers slide in between Blaine's, like they had been sculptured to fit each other. The stars that had always fascinated Blaine when they were kids were still dancing around Kurt's corneas and he felt like they were promising him that he was on the right way.

"We're together now. Boyfriends. You're mine. After all these years," Kurt whispered and even if Blaine hadn't seen it he would have known that he was smiling. It was oozing through his voice and words nearly making a chill run down Blaine's spine.

"I love you," Blaine said and surprised himself.

It was just words - but saying it out loud to another person in a way like this was much more than saying a regular sentence. Butterflies were twirling in his veins and his heart was playing hula-hoops in his chest. He could feel his cheeks growing red, but he didn't care because he had told someone, Kurt, that he loved him and it was the truth.

"I love you too," Kurt grinned and moved a little closer over the mattress.

And Kurt said it back, and he meant it, and they were together now. If there ever was anything that was faith this surely had to be it.

xXx

They woke up again around noon. They took turns on showering and Kurt borrowed a clean, casual shirt from Blaine before they went to the store a block from Blaine's apartment where they found fruits and chocolate. Then they hurried back where they curled up on the couch together.

The afternoon was spent on discussing events they had missed in each other's lives. Kurt told a vivid tale about his dad's wedding, including all details about his dad's new wife, Carole, and her son, Finn, who hadn't been too excited about the marriage but in the end he hadn't been able to resist and ended up as one of Kurt's closest friends.

They told each other about their high school graduations and first jobs. Blaine told Kurt how a girl Kurt had talked a lot to in Silverlake had been picked up by the police one night when Blaine was 14. She was 17 at the time and she had been selling drugs to younger girls in school.

Kurt was shocked to hear about how messed up some of the others were. When they were kids they didn't pay attention to that, especially not to the teenagers. Their dormitories were in the other end of the building so they never really saw each other except for parties or when they all were in the backyard.

"I'm so sorry. I had no idea it was like that. It's awful," Kurt said with guilt washing over his face. His eyebrows nearly met over his nose and his eyes were glasslike from listening to the dramatic story.

He moved from his end of the couch to the middle so he could grab Blaine's hand that had been lying in his lap. Kurt's skin against his own nearly made him forget what they had been talking about, but he reminded himself to stick to the conversation.

"It's cool. I mean, when we got older we weren't that many left - at least not of us who was there from we were little. Most couldn't take being rejected constantly by people looking to adopt and they got sidetracked. Remember Kyra? Yeah, when we were 13 she got into this gang, and she started carrying a knife everywhere and stuff. The last time I was… back, was last year for her funeral," Blaine shrugged.

He didn't really like talking about it, but he felt that Kurt deserved to know. Kyra had been in Silverlake longer than Blaine had, so Kurt had known her his entire life before he moved. Besides, there was no reason to sugarcoat how Silverlake was for teenagers - he wanted Kurt to know everything about him, and this was a part of him.

Kurt was mortified. He kept staring at Blaine like he was surprised that he was even alive anymore after having lived through that.

"It's not cool. It sucks. It's horrible. I wish I could have come back to save you," Kurt said thickly. His eyes were avoiding Blaine's now, so Blaine grabbed his chin between two fingers to force their eye contact back.

"You did save me. You just didn't do it until now. But you did," Blaine said firmly. He couldn't let Kurt feel guilt over not having been there when it wasn't his fault.

Kurt's cheeks turned red and the corners of his mouth started to twitch.

"I'm still alive, and I'm fine. I don't even have allergies," he grinned, and Kurt couldn't stop himself from chuckling and falling forwards to coil up in Blaine's arms.

"I'm glad you didn't end up in a gang, or doing drugs - or in a cult where you would have to perform bizarre rituals or anything like that -" Kurt said with a chill running through him and let his fingers play with the hem of Blaine's t-shirt.

"Pretty colorful suggestions you have for my alternative self there," Blaine exclaimed, pretending to consider it.

"At least you don't have allergies. Then I would have to leave you," Kurt laughed and turned around so he could straddle Blaine as he was casually sitting in the corner of the couch.

He couldn't help letting his hands run from Kurt's hips to the lower of his back and under his shirt so he could sneak his fingertips down the hem of his jeans. His skin was warm and smooth, making Blaine fear that his fingers were too cold or rough for the connection.

"But for real - I am so happy that you didn't get… completely sidetracked like that. I don't know what I would have done if, when I found you again, you had been one of those creepy guys on the subway with tattoos everywhere and skin yellow from doing drugs," Kurt said seriously with his eyes piercing into Blaine's and his thumbs brushing over his hipbones under his t-shirt.

He hadn't expected Kurt to take it so heavily. To him it was simply how life growing up had been. He was used to the others running away only to return in the backseat of a police car, or waking up in the middle of the night from teenagers having loud sex in the bed next to him, or people younger than him hiding their drugs in his mattress to not get caught even though everyone knew Blaine stayed away from that. That was the standard.

"Really, I'm fine. I don't even have weird diseases or anything - I was checked, so there's nothing to worry about," Blaine assured him and put his hand on his neck so he could pull his face closer to kiss him.

Blaine continued telling him about what had been going on. How one of the workers had been fired and put in jail for having slept with one of the girls a few years older than Blaine, how Tina had helped him come out to Miss Pillsbury only for her to say that she already knew and was only waiting for him to tell her so she could set him up with her nephew.

He asked Kurt about what plays he had been in and what roles he had played. They ended up discussing musicals and plays, and Kurt revealed that he had been with Sam at a party and an agent had seen him - and after a week of Sam and Rachel talking him into doing it he had signed a contract for doing a photoshoot with some photographer Blaine had never heard the name of.

Apparently Kurt's fiancé and brother weren't just any football players but favorites of scouts from Giants, and they could take Kurt places and introduce him to people Blaine would never have the chance of doing.

"You do have a lovely face… and body," Blaine said thickly, unsure what to say and the feeling of not being able to ever have anything to offer Kurt next to Sam was roaring in the back of his head.

"He's not that kind of photographer, silly. It's art, okay. Nothing dirty here," Kurt said and rolled his eyes while letting his hands run up Blaine's ribs before he moved down so Blaine could feel his breath on his ear.

"But you can take dirty photos of me if you want," he whispered and Blaine felt all blood disappear from his face - very possibly rushing to his crotch. His hands clasped against Kurt's skin and he was suddenly very aware that Kurt's zipper was crashed against his own.

This was new. If Sebastian had ever said anything like that to him he would have hurried to hide his face, or laugh at it to pretend that he was joking. It was too bold, too different - too intimidating.

Now he found himself considering playing along. His throat was tied up, so he had no idea how he should play along, but he wanted to - only thing was that he didn't know how to, and he was afraid that if he opened his mouth only gobbling sounds would come out.

He let his fingers run a little further down Kurt's jeans, down his underwear, to buy some time for his brain to defreeze. Kurt wasn't helping as he moved a little forward from Blaine's touch, making his crotch crash closer against Blaine's.

"I could do that. Some day. Maybe," Blaine stammered and he was sure that his face went from white directly to red. He couldn't believe that he had just said that - was Kurt expecting this to be reality soon? Or ever? Or was he just playing around?

Fuck. What have I gotten myself into?

Kurt kissed his neck and sucked a little on the tender skin as he rolled his hips one last, slow time that made Blaine's heart beat so fast that he felt that it was only running on damp after a nanosecond - and Kurt fell down to lie on the couch next to him, his legs still twisted across Blaine's lap.

"I need to go home to change before going to the theater. It's opening night next weekend and everyone is going crazy," Kurt sighed and his eyes turned apologetic.

No. Don't go now, Blaine begged in his head but he knew that he had work as well so it would be pointless for Kurt to drop something so important.

"When are you playing somewhere again? I wanna be there. I miss hearing you sing," Kurt pouted and he reminded Blaine of when they were kids and Kurt had tried to beg Blaine to do anything - he would always pout with begging eyes the same way and Blaine was already on his way for whatever it was Kurt wanted.

Blaine explained how he had said no to playing jobs lately, but assured him that he was going to do his best to get something soon, and as soon as he did Kurt could come see him as often as he would.

"Will you have dinner with me tomorrow night?" Kurt asked and stroke his one foot up Blaine's shoulder, and his grin turned to a nervous waiting instead.

"I would love to have dinner with you," Blaine smiled softly and kissed Kurt's foot before he let himself fall down on top of him between Kurt's legs.

"You should go. So I can get ready for work myself. Not that I want you to leave or anything. There's just one problem - I'm not letting you go before you have kissed me," Blaine grinned down at him and Kurt laughed so hard that the vibrations from his chest made Blaine nearly fall to the floor.

Kurt grabbed around his neck and pulled his face down to an aggressive kiss as he twisted his legs around Blaine's calves while their tongues danced playfully together.

"I can come back. Tonight. If you want -" Kurt suggested, his voice nearly a whisper.

Blaine's heart skipped a beat. Or raced away. He wasn't sure. All he knew was that it wasn't acting the way it usually did.

"Please. That would be amazing," he responded with his brain feeling foggy.

"I can come to the pub when we're done with rehearsals. With a little luck I won't have to stay for more than a couple of hours tonight, because they'll mostly focus on the girls for the next few days," Kurt explained and Blaine was sure that if his blood could scream from happiness it would.

"Sure, just text me. I get off at 1 tonight," Blaine agreed.

Kurt lifted his head a little to place a peck on his lips before he twisted himself out of Blaine's grip so he could change into his own clothes before Blaine walked him to the door.

Standing in the hall like that was the hardest. He had to let go off Kurt and knew that it would be hours before he would see him, feel him, again - but Kurt folded his arms around Blaine's neck and kissed him eagerly.

"I'll see you tonight. Then you can kiss me all you want," he smiled and Blaine grinned at him.

"And take some pictures if you want," he said without a trace of a joke in his voice or on his face.

Blaine panicked. Did that mean that he meant it? Did he really want to do that? Was he some sort of exhibitionist or something? Blaine's face was undoubtedly red and he couldn't hold Kurt's eyes.

"You are still so shy and innocent. It's cute and adorable. I love you. So much," Kurt cooed and tugged Blaine a little closer in his arms.

Great. Cute and adorable - exactly what a man wants to be for his boyfriend… Or whatever we are, Blaine thought with panic still rushing through him. He needed to figure out exactly how to keep up with Kurt's excitement over everything.

"Then teach me how to not be," Blaine burst out and wished that he could take it back. That had to be the most ridiculous, awkward, idiotic thing to ever cross his lips.

"Challenge accepted," Kurt beamed.

"But I have to leave now. I'll text you and then I'll see you toni -" Kurt started saying but Blaine pressed him against the wall and pressed his lips against Kurt's with a force he didn't know he had.

"Go. Now. Before I change my mind about letting you go. I love you. Okay? I love you!" Blaine exclaimed breathlessly.

Kurt brushed a hand over his cheek before he pecked his nose and disappeared out the door, and Blaine was left to watch him disappear down the stairs and hear him close the door behind him.

xXx

Work at the pub was free and fun that night. There were more customers than Blaine could remember ever having seen and they had to be four bartenders to cover them all but he didn't mind the slightest. He was singing and dancing around behind the bar and a smile was permanently plastered on his face.

"Who does a guy have to sleep with to get a beer in here?" A voice sounded behind Blaine and he turned to find Kurt leaning across the bar. His hair was perfectly groomed and his clothes looked like something out of a magazine. He was smiling and looked very tired.

Maybe I could just leave now? To be with Kurt, and we could run away together, Blaine thought but reminded himself that he still had two hours of work left for the night.

He gave two girls their drinks, accepted their tips with a flirtatious wink and turned around to Kurt instead. With a little luck no one would need his assistance in the next few minutes and he could put full attention on Kurt.

"That depends - do you see anything you like?" Blaine asked teasingly as he leaned closer to Kurt over the counter that was so painfully separating them. He wanted to feel Kurt closer to him, it was torture to see him but not be able to hold him.

"I do. I was thinking that maybe I could go on credit and get a few beers so I can really pay to you thoroughly later - but it seems like I've got some competition around here," Kurt grinned, making the temperature in Blaine's face skyrocket even though he had said it so low that there was no chance of anyone but them having heard.

It would be so easy. It would only take him to tiptoe, stretch his torso a little further and he could reach out to kiss Kurt on those delicious, pink lips that were just screaming for him to taste them on his own.

He couldn't, though. It was too risky in the pub where Sebastian's friends hung out every now and then, and Martin talked to Sebastian frequently as well. He could even risk Mike coming in to pick up Tina for their party later so to kiss Kurt there wouldn't go.

"Sounds like a plan," Blaine choked out and settled for letting his fingers caress lightly over Kurt's wrist before he had to go service a couple of big guys right next to Kurt.

Kurt was observing him while he was working. Blaine could feel his gaze following him around the room, and whenever their eyes met Kurt grinned at him in a way that made Blaine's insides feel like hot liquid.

When the clock finally hit 1 Kurt was still sitting on the stool he had occupied when he had come in. Blaine hurried around to the backroom where he washed his hands, found his jacket and collected his things so he could leave.

They walked to the train in silence. They didn't even dare to hold hands on the way back to Blaine's apartment because they couldn't know if anyone they, or their boyfriends, knew would see them.

They didn't even make it to close the door before Blaine was over Kurt, though. He missed feeling and kissing him too much to just ignore that he was by his side and they were completely alone now. Luckily Kurt was engaging heatedly into the kiss as he let his bag drop to the floor to make it easier for him to pull Blaine closer.

They stayed in the hall entangled in each other with hands and lips covering as much of one another as possible. It felt like the night drifted past them but it didn't matter, Blaine was just hungry for Kurt and he couldn't care less where they were.

"Are you tired?" Blaine asked when they finally mentally agreed that they needed oxygen. Now that he saw Kurt in the dimmed, artificial light of the hall he looked exhausted.

"Yeah. A bit. But I'd much rather spend time with you than sleep," Kurt said with a grimace to show just how much the thought of sleep didn't appeal to him.

Blaine was drained of energy and he needed rest badly - but he felt just like Kurt. He could always sleep, and he knew that Kurt had to leave early the next day so they wouldn't get to spend much time together by then.

"Let's just go to bed and we see what happens. I just think you need some sleep when you have so many hours of work tomorrow. You'll probably fall right asleep once you're in bed," Blaine cooed with a caring stroke over Kurt's cheek.

A wide smile crept over Kurt's face and his eyes went from lustful with a hint of tired to overwhelmed and affectionate.

He bent down to grab his bag off the floor and they walked hand-in-hand to Blaine's bedroom. They brushed their teeth together and Kurt stripped off his clothes to his underwear before he crawled to lie down.

Blaine realized that he didn't know what to do next. He was standing in the middle of his room looking awkwardly around himself, insecure and feeling extremely dumb.

What should I do now? Would it be too weird if I sleep in a t-shirt like when I sleep at Sebastian's place? Or maybe I should just put on my pajamas? Blaine debated with himself while brushing his hand shyly up and down his arm.

Kurt was lying comfortably on the pillows curled up under the covers while looking at him. He was clearly waiting with sparkling eyes and it made shivers run down Blaine's spine. He didn't want Kurt to think that he didn't like being close to him and feeling him.

"Baby, it's okay if you wanna sleep with your shirt on or something. I don't expect you to go naked for me," Kurt said softly. There wasn't a hint of a joke in his voice; he knew how it made Blaine feel and he was okay with it.

It was in one time embarrassing and nice to hear him say it. It was nice to know that Kurt understood how he felt and didn't have a problem with it, but Blaine was still embarrassed that it was even an issue for him.

I'm a grown man, dammit. I should be able to sleep next to my boyfriend without being wrapped up.

He squeezed his eyes shut with his lips forming a thin line before he drew a heavy breath and started opening his jeans. He took them off and folded them neatly as always - and pulled off his polo shirt as well. He didn't fold it, simply swung it over the back of the chair before he hurried under the covers next to Kurt.

"You didn't have to do that, sweetie," Kurt cooed as he stroke a hand over Blaine's hair.

Blaine shifted a little on the pillow to have a better view to Kurt's eyes. They were shining strong and blue through the dark of the room and he nearly didn't want to say anything to change the atmosphere between them.

"I know. But I wanted to. It's… it's strange, but - it's easier with you," he mumbled and knew that he was being ridiculous.

He let his arm stretch out between them so he could let a finger run up Kurt's arm. He let it stroll from his wrist up his arm, over his collarbone and down his chest where he let it end on his ribs to let his palm lie flat.

"I like being with you like this. Like… I don't feel like you would get mad or hurt - or disappointed if I didn't do it for you. The things you want and you like," Blaine mumbled and observed Kurt taking his words in.

"I would never ever make you feel bad if you didn't want the same things as me. If you didn't do like I wanted you to because it would make you feel uncomfortable," Kurt assured him firmly and put his own hand flat onto Blaine's on his ribs.

"Did… Sebastian - do that? Get mad when you didn't agree with what he wanted you to do?" Kurt asked in a thick voice. He didn't like to mention Sebastian; he didn't like the thought that Blaine actually had a boyfriend that wasn't him. So he really wanted to know, he had to find it important for him to know, otherwise he wouldn't have brought it up.

"Sebastian is sweet. He's really noble and caring. He's been really great, and patient with me - but I can't help feeling that he gets upset, like disappointed or irritated with me when I put my clothes on after… sex. Or when I turn my back on him before I go to sleep. Those kind of things, you know. He always try to - pull my shirt off when we have - had - sex or make me say stuff, but he knows I don't like it, so when I stop him he seems hurt or disappointed. Kurt, I'm a horrible boyfriend."

Blaine closed his eyes and removed his hand to let it curl up against his own chest. He was ashamed that he had just spilled that to Kurt, that he had just spilled all of his pain from being with exhibitionistic, super-cuddly Sebastian. He was scared because now Kurt knew that he was an egoistic, childish jerk who didn't know how to be anyone's boyfriend, and why would Kurt want someone like that?

Against everything he had expected to happen Kurt looked sad and confused instead of offended. His eyes were flickering concerned between Blaine's and his forehead had worried lines.

"You didn't - but, Blaine, you didn't do those things with me. You didn't have to - I never… I am so sorry if you felt like I pushed you to do any of those things that you don't like. I don't mind if you wanna turn your back on me to help you sleep better, or if you don't want to sleep naked, or even like this. It's fine. And… if you want to keep your shirt on when we have sex, if you ever want to have sex with me again, of course you can do that, I… I won't lie - you sounded so incredibly sexy, but if you don't like that it's fine by me. Just please don't ever feel like you have to cross your own boundaries to be with me. I love you just as much no matter what," Kurt blabbered out, his voice shaky and nervous. Sad and scared.

Blaine smiled, let his lips part in a grin and moved a little closer to Kurt who was starting to seem confused. Blaine grabbed his hand and clenched it hard in his own against his chest.

"That's exactly my point - I don't feel like that with you. I'm not self-conscious or embarrassed about my body when I'm with you. I wanna sleep in your arms while I can hear your heartbeat. I… I wanna let you kiss me all over my body where no one has kissed or seen me before. I wanna have wild, crazy, dirty, loud sex with you and fall asleep hot and sweaty and happy while we're both naked and tired. I wanna do things with you I have never dared doing before," Blaine said eagerly and realized how suddenly excited he was about all those things he had been scared to do, but now he was starting a new chapter of his life with Kurt and was burning to do all of those things with him.

He hadn't thought it over like that before. Out of nowhere it welled in over him how scared of life he had been, but when he was with Kurt he had a newfound courage that made him want to try everything - he wanted as much out of his life with Kurt as possible.

"I'm flattered - and intrigued. I'm sorry you felt like that before, but it's okay if there are some things you don't want to do and I just act like it's a given, you can just tell me," Kurt assured him one last time before a smirk crept over his face.

"And on a completely different note - if there are some things you wanna try I will encourage you to tell me. I wanna try everything with you. And I should probably say; you should never feel embarrassed about your body. Your body is… gorgeous, amazing. I will look forward to be kissing all over it," Kurt smiled, his voice flirty and sensual.

Blaine relaxed. He could feel all of his muscles relax and he tried to suppress the heat rolling around his body.

He had never talked so openly about anything with anyone but Tina. Whenever there had been anything serious he needed to discuss with Sebastian it had either been Blaine awkwardly saying it randomly in a conversation where he could quickly get out, or he had said it over his shoulder before going to sleep. When it had been about sex he had just waited for Sebastian to try doing it and stopped him when he was about to.

To talk open and honest like this was groundbreaking and liberating to him. This way he was sure that Kurt understood him and he was sure that he understood Kurt. He was happy and relieved that they could start off with such good communication that he had always wanted with Sebastian but had been too nervous to try.

"Why do I feel like we should make a list? If you have been so… shy there's gotta be so much you haven't tried," Kurt said with eyes flaming from ideas and thoughts undoubtedly rushing around his head.

Now Blaine was afraid that the things he had in mind weren't as kinky and daring as what Kurt was imagining it to be. That could quickly be a flat experience for Kurt when he heard how it really was.

Suddenly Kurt yawned and Blaine saw how late it was. Kurt had to be at the theater at 10.30 so he couldn't keep him awake like that.

"What's first on your list then?" Kurt asked curiously with a playful tone rolling over his tongue.

Blaine rolled his eyes and leaned in to kiss his nose.

"We can talk about it tomorrow - now you have to sleep. It's way too late for you to be awake when you have work tomorrow," Blaine cooed and laid down on his back, gesturing for Kurt to join him, so Kurt put his head to Blaine's collarbone and folded his arm around his waist with a sigh.

"You treat me so good. Worrying about me getting my sleep and stuff. And Blaine?"

He fell silent and waited for Blaine to react. The dark was peaceful over them and Blaine knew that he would fall asleep quickly so he hummed quietly in response while brushing his fingertips lightly up and down Kurt's back.

"You are not a bad boyfriend. You're fantastic. It's not your fault he wanted you to do something you don't feel comfortable about," Kurt crooned and kissed his chest.


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Awwwwww!!! I am still a little worried that Kurt may not tell Sam and end up stringing Blaine along, or that Blaine will not have the courage to tell Bas :-(