Jan. 15, 2013, 11:16 p.m.
Secret Love: Chapter 3
E - Words: 1,722 - Last Updated: Jan 15, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 6/? - Created: Aug 07, 2012 - Updated: Jan 15, 2013 526 0 1 0 0
Once Kurt walked through his front door, he ran up to his room, shutting the door behind him and walking to his bed. He plopped face first onto the bed, thinking about what had happened that day. His teacher, his very handsome teacher was someone he thought he could be with, and yet he can't. This tore him up inside. Just when he thought everything was getting a bit better in his life, something pulls the rug out from under him. What else was new?
Kurt ground into the pillow before turning over to lie on his back. Looking up at the ceiling he started to think about how Blaine's lips felt on his, and how the inside of his mouth tasted. He would give anything just to taste again. No he would give anything for Blaine not to be his teacher so that they could actually date. Now he will just wallow in what could have been.
He wants to cry, really he does. He just doesn't see what good it will do. It won't change that fact that Blaine, perfect, amazing, Blaine is now his teacher and therefor will never be his. Now every time he sees Blai- (he stops himself because he should really get used to calling him Mr. Anderson. Be that in his head or not.) Every time he sees Mr. Anderson all he will be able to think about his how good his had felt, all around him, all over him.
Kurt doesn't understand why everything has to change. Why they can't be together, but this is what Mr. Anderson wants. So he has no choice but to give in. He doesn't think it would be worth fighting for if the other party has already made up their mind.
He's not being a coward and walking away. He knows this. He is just trying to save himself from a lot of pain. He will stay away from Mr. Anderson. He can do it... He thinks.
He also fails.
-
Second day for school and Kurt will be seeing Mr. Anderson first period. He can stay away and not think about how all he wants to do is shove his tongue down Mr. Anderson's throat. He can do this.
Kurt walks into the class room and their he is, perfect as ever, sitting at his desk, watching the students walk in. Once Kurt is close enough he gives Mr. Anderson a bright smile and says hi.
"Good morning, Kurt." Replies Mr. Anderson, trying not to give Kurt eye contact.
Kurt understand, really he does. But understanding doesn't make the hurt go away.
Kurt walks to his desk, taking a seat as soon as he gets there. He sits neatly, his hands folded in front of him, on top of the desk, tying not to look up. He does not want to make eye contact with his teacher; he knows if he does he will not be able to look away. Kurt knows he can't avoid Mr. Anderson through the whole class, it just enviable that at one point they will make eye contact, but what will he feel when it does happen? Will he want to cry, will he get angry at his teacher. He knows he has no right to be angry, really he does, but he can't help it, Mr. Anderson never really gave them a chance.
As soon as everyone is in their seats and the last bell has rung, Mr. Anderson starts his lesson. It's hard not to look up. Kurt is trying, but there is so much that he can do, so finally he looks. As soon as he does his eyes lock with Mr. Anderson's and his breath catches. Mr. Anderson is the most beautiful man Kurt has ever seen and he can't believe he even got him for at least one day. Know that he thinks about it, Kurt was really lucky he even got that day. He should be happy that someone that looks like Mr. Anderson even wanted him, he thinks to himself. It feels like forever when Mr. Anderson finally looks away. How long were their eyes even locked? Kurt wonders.
An hour passed by quickly in Kurt opinion. He started packing up his note book, taking his time so that he could talk to Mr. Anderson. He knows he shouldn't, he even talk himself not to the night before; but he can't help himself. Kurt just feels he needs to.
Kurt slowly starts walking over to Mr. Anderson's desk, as soon as all his stuff was packed away in his book bag.
Clearing his throat, Kurt speaks. "Hi, Mr. Anderson." He is nervous, after yesterday's conversation he has the right to be.
Blaine looks up when he hears someone speak. He knows who it is without looking, he knew who it was once he heard them start walking over to his desk. "Is there something you wanted, Kurt?"
"Yeah.. Um, I just-" Kurt cuts himself off, he doesn't know what he wants. He doesn't really want anything actually; he just wanted to have some reason to talk to his teacher.
"Never mind, It was nothing. I'm sorry." Kurt bolts out the room as fast as he can.
-
Blaine has had a long day of classes. All his wants to do is get home and relax, but that won't happen because he still has papers to grad, tomorrow's lesions to plan.
Blaine walks out of his classroom. It's late, almost 6:00 pm and he just wants to get to his car and leave. So that is what he was planning on doing when he hears someone singing down the hall from where he is now. Blaine back tracked, wanting to hear who his making that sweet sound.
Finally Blaine makes it to the music room, and that is where he sees him.
Kurt.
The one person he wants more than he has wanted anyone or anything in his whole life. But he can't have him.
Blaine felt wrong listening to Kurt pour his heart out into the song he was singing (but he could not tare himself away.) He could feel all the emotions that Kurt was singing. His voice was so angelic and he just wished he could listen to that voice all the time.
If I could change the currents of our lives
To make the river flow where it's run dry
To be a prodigal of father time
Then I would see you tonight
Blaine wished Kurt's face was facing his direction he would give anything to see his face at this moment. Kurt's was so lost in the song he was singing and that would be something Blaine wanted to see.
No he Blaine had to see. He walked into the room quietly, hoping Kurt didn't hear him. He didn't want to disturb his peace. Which is what Blaine thought that this was. Kurt's peace. And if it was Blaine could see why.
Blaine made it in without Kurt hearing him. He noticed Kurt's eyes were closed, singing softly to himself. What a beautiful sight, Blaine thought.
If I could find the years that went away
Destroying all the cruelty of fate
I must believe that love could find a way
Tonight
Blaine felt something inside himself shift.
Lonely finds me
One day you will come
But I'll wait for love's sake
One day to me, love
Blaine swallowed thickly. He felt like there was something stuck in his throat. He thought he needed to go. He would do something really stupid if he stayed. Just when he was about to get up to leave the singing stopped.
He looked up to see Kurt staring wide eyed at him, his mouth hanging open.
"I'm sorry." Blaine hurried to say. "I w-was just about to go" he sat up, making his way over to the exit.
"How.. How long have you been here." Blaine hear a low nervous voice ask.
Blaine turned back around so that he was looking at Kurt. Kurt was worrying his bottom lip and looked like he had just been caught doing something wrong. And that was not true at all. Blaine loved every minute he got to hear of Kurt preforming.
"Not that long."
Kurt looked down toward the ground, giving a small nod.
Blaine hurried to add, "You were really great. Your voice is really unique."
Kurt snorted. "Yeah, I know. I sound like a girl. I have heard it all before, Mr. Anderson. I really don't want to hear it from you, thank you." Kurt started to walk off in a hurry.
"Hey, no, Kurt." Blaine said, as he stated to chase after Kurt.
"Kurt, please, stop. I didn't mean it in that way. I meant it in that I liked it, very much. It's beautiful and you." Blaine's cheeks started to pink.
Kurt finally stopped from walking away and turned around, smiling at Blaine slightly. He pretended to not notice the way Blaine was blushing.
"Thank you." Kurt said in a whisper. It was so low Blaine thought he imagined it.
They were both silent for a few minutes, both up them just looking at each other, not knowing what to say. Finally Kurt broke the silence.
"I should be going home. I don't want my dad to wonder where I was." Kurt said, playing with the strap of his book bag. "I'll see you in class tomorrow, Mr. Anderson."
Blaine nodded, "Yes of course. I should be going too; I have a lot of work ahead of me tonight." He started inching forward toward Kurt's direction.
"Before he go thought, I just.. I'm sorry, about yesterday and how I acted." Blaine glanced briefly at Kurt's lips, and back up to his eyes in a matter of seconds. He hoped the Kurt didn't notice. "You're a really great person Kurt and if things were different and I do wish they were, then we could have been together. But they're not, so we can't. I'm sorry." Blaine gave Kurt a sad smile. He wished more than anything that Kurt was 8 years older or he was 8 years younger, but that would never happen.
"It's okay Mr. Anderson. I understand." Kurt said, looking even looking at Blaine. He couldn't, it was too hard. "I'm going to go now. Bye, Mr. Anderson." Kurt said, before walking away making his way out of the school and going home.
Shit.
Staying away from him his going to be hard. Blaine thought, as he followed Kurt's lead and making his way to his car and driving home for the night.
Comments
I am really liking this so far and cannot wait to read more :)