May 19, 2013, 8:37 p.m.
I Know You're Scared It's Wrong: Chapter 4
E - Words: 1,256 - Last Updated: May 19, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 8/? - Created: Oct 17, 2012 - Updated: May 19, 2013 835 0 3 0 0
Kurt knew he just could not give up, because Blaine had kissed him back, which meant Blaine had wanted it just as much as Kurt had. He still felt the pain of Blaine kicking him out the night before, but if Blaine really thought that kicking him out would stop Kurt, then Blaine didn't know the real Kurt. The Kurt that would get what he wanted, when he was determined.
Since it was the weekend, Kurt had no school and he knew Blaine didn't have work either. So Kurt thought it would be a good idea to pay another visit to the object of his affection, well after he got all dressed up and looking as good as he could, of course.
Twenty minutes later Kurt was knocking at Blaine's door.
Blaine opened the door and sighed deeply when he saw who was standing there. "Kurt, what are you doing here? I really don't think you should be here, not after yesterday." He didn't want to see Kurt's face, he didn't want to think of Kurt. He was so wrong, everything about him, he hated the way he was feeling for the boy in front of him. He thought maybe if he stayed away for a few days, or weeks, or months that all of his feelings would go away. But if Kurt kept coming over here, then he would never be able to forget.
"I just wanted to talk." Kurt says quickly, before Blaine sends him away again. He won't be able to handle that right now, not after last night.
"I wanted to apologize to you, for what happened, and stuff..." He trails off. "Can I umm - come in?" He asks, motioning towards the door.
Blaine just stands there for a few brief seconds, before moving out of the way for Kurt to walk into the house.
Kurt walks in hesitantly, hoping Blaine won't change his mind. He gets to the middle of the room and stands there awkwardly, as Blaine closes the front door. He can tell Blaine is nervous by the way he stands at the door and visibly takes a deep breath, before he turns to look at Kurt.
Blaine gives Kurt a tentative smile, before gesturing for them to sit on the couch. Kurt follows Blaine's lead, sitting down, primly, on the opposite side of the couch. He doesn't want Blaine getting the wrong impression. Well the right impression, but Kurt doesn't want to scare him off for good.
"I'm sorry about yesterday, I really am. This is just all so much for me," Kurt says, taking a deep breath and continuing. "Me saying this to you it's - well it's big okay." He is really going to talk to Blaine about how he is feeling, and hope Blaine doesn't laugh in his face. He knows Blaine at least likes him, but who's to say Blaine still won't laugh him out of his home. "I like you, Blaine. I like a lot and sometimes it feels like so much." He stops for a few seconds before lifting his head and looking into Blaine's eyes. "You kissed me back and I know that I did not make that up in my head. You wanted me as much as I wanted you and there is nothing wrong with that, yo-" he was cut off by Blaine scoffing, and wow maybe he was right in thinking Blaine would laugh at him.
"Kurt, there is everything wrong with what happened last night, everything." Okay so maybe he wasn't laughing at Kurt, he was just laughing because Kurt is an idiot in thinking that what they did was not wrong at all. "Kurt you're sixteen and I'm... not. I'm a grown man and far too old to be dating someone that could be my child because let's face it, I am old enough to be your father."
This time it's Kurt's turn to cut in. "But I'm not your child." Kurt rushes to say.
"Kurt, that's not the point here. The point is that, I am old enough to be." Blaine is staring at Kurt so intently now - his eyes are pretty much daggers - making sure he gets it, and no he still doesn't completely get it. Yes, Blaine is significantly older, but dating someone older than you is not that uncommon or as big a deal as Blaine is making it out to be.
Almost as if reading Kurt's mind. "Kurt, me being older is not the only thing okay. Your dad is my best friend. I could never break his trust like this." Blaine finally concludes his persistent argument with that.
Kurt is taken aback because he understands that more than anything, but it still hurts all the same.
"Right, of course. I get it." Kurt feels like his throat is closing up and his eyes are burning with tears he won't let fall. He had come here for a reason, but once Blaine mentioned his dad he knew there was no winning or getting what he wanted.
There are a few moments of tense silence, where all you can hear is their soft breathing. "Can I ask you something?" Kurt speaks up again.
"Sure."
"If things were different, if you weren't my dad's best friend. Would you want me? Would you go for it? Would you- anything?" Kurt has to ask, he needs to know if there would have ever been a chance for them.
"Kurt, I do want you. God, I am so going to hell for this. But I want you every day, and it's wrong. You're so innocent, so young and oh so beautiful. I want so much sometimes, it's hard to breathe." Blaine replies, whispering so low because he's scared of these feelings, but Kurt asked and he can't lie, not to him. "But would I act on that? I don't know, Kurt. You can't ask me something like that when I would have no idea." Kurt looks so fragile and sad, and Blaine just wants to hold him and comfort him and tell him how much he wishes things could be different so that he could at least have the option of being with him. But they're not, so all he can do is dwell on what he can't have.
Kurt doesn't know what to say. Blaine wants him as much as he wants Blaine. He just wishes Blaine would not care about any of the rest and just give in to what is right there for them. But he knows Blaine won't, so he will just wait. He can do that, because he would wait forever for Blaine.
"Okay, thank you for being honest and I understand the reasons why, I do." Kurt gives Blaine a reassuring smile. "I really like talking to you though. You're so nice and sweet, plus you're gay and I could really use someone to talk to sometimes, you know?" Blaine nods along with what Kurt is saying, he is glad Kurt is finally getting it, that they can't be together. But they can at least be friends Blaine thinks.
"Yeah, I get it." Blaine agrees, giving Kurt a big smile. "Okay how about this, you can come to me whenever you want, with whatever you need and I will be here to listen or help in anyway." Blaine thinks this will be good for them, they will move on from each other, together.
"I would really like that. Thank you, Blaine."
"You're welcome, Kurt." They hold eye contact for what feels like forever, until Blaine shakes his head and averts his eye's away from Kurt's. "So, friends?" He asks.
Kurt agrees, "Friends."
Comments
Blaine is in so much trouble. ;)
This was really good. It was nice to see Blaine tell Kurt the truth about his feelings and to let him know that if things were different he might have been willing to take the chance with him. I can't wait to see what happens next and to see if they can actually put aside the attraction to be friends.
I am really glad you're enjoying the story, really. It means so much to me that you're always commenting. Thank you so much. And as for the next chapter, I have actually just not pretty much at this moment (lol) finished it *does happy dance* so soon you will be able to read what happens ;) I just have to send it off to my beta and as soon and she is done looking it over it will be out. Thanks so much again for reading and enjoying. :)