When he entered he saw that, even though the tickets had no seat numbers on them, one seat right at the front was still empty. People didn't seem to notice it, apparently rather sitting on the floor or just standing than taking the seat. They walked right past it; not even noticing it was there. Blaine hurried over and quickly sat down, glancing around to see if no one was throwing him dirty looks but it seemed like none of the people in the tent had seen it. The lights dimmed and a soft humming sound filled the tent.

It was as if every person inside was humming. Just a steady, low hum. Blaine looked around confused, but he couldn't see anything because of the lights. In the midst of the humming, a chorus of chuckles and giggle rose up from right above where the crowd was seated. He saw people looking up, eyes squinting, trying to see where exactly the laughing came from. Suddenly three slender figures literally fell from the roof of the tent, only to land in the sand circle, kneeling. All three were wearing the same kind of costume, that looked as if it was painted onto their bodies, but at the same time it flared out a little, leaving them sitting crouched with an aura of bright red around them. There was an identical smile etched on their faces as they rose.

Just when everybody thought they were the ones giggling, another chorus of dark chuckles rose up from in the crowd. People looked around with panicked looks on their faces. With a giant leap, four more figures jumped from various places in between the people themselves. Blaine heard surprised little screams and children starting to cry. He just watched, fascinated by the scenery playing out in front of him. The four men had also risen to their feet, and now he saw their faces. All four of them had the same crooked grin, which looked like it was painted on with make-up. Blaine squinted his eyes to look at the tallest one. That hair, that face, it looked familiar… Puckerman. The clown was Puckerman. But that meant that the horrible crooked grin on all of their faces was not painted on by some kind of expensive stage make-up. He closed his eyes for a second to organize his thoughts, which were flying through his head like bees on a stuffy summer night before the thunderstorm.

All the performers were standing up now. Even though they were not many, it looked like they were crowding the small circle of sand. The air was thrumming with anticipation of their next move as they just stood there for at least two minutes. Then, all of a sudden, a light blue figure fell down graciously from the top of the tent, only to land in the middle of the circle formed by the others. He crouched down and stayed down. For a second nobody seemed to move until the blonde girl in the front snapped her head up and spoke aloud, her voice soft and smooth like silk, but sounding like it was amplified a thousand times in the silence.

"Welcome..."

Her voice trailed off into the distance, bouncing off the walls of the tent as it went.

"To the New Direction."

It was just a whisper, but everyone held their breath as the man in the light blue costume in the middle stood up slowly, looking around the tent, seemingly searching for something and as Blaine's warm honey hazel gaze met his icy blue the corners of his mouth quirked up into a smirk. He didn't let go of Blaine's eyes and Blaine found himself unable to look away, captured by the mystery in the dark depths of those eyes.

Blaine could hear the voice inside of his head before he heard it echoing through the Big Top.

"Let the show begin."

A loud bang, firecrackers exploded, a tiger roared, a whip cracked and somewhere in the audience a baby began to cry, but was quickly hushed by the mother. In a big cloud of smoke a figure clad in shiny dark blue appeared. A red glittering top hat was perched onto his head as he too, looked up slowly and let his eyes wander over the faces of the audience. He didn't bat an eye when he saw Blaine sitting in the chair in the front row, but he noticed how Blaine's eyes got wider when he pushed his mind inside Blaine's head.

"Decided yet?"

Blaine looked confused and furious at the same time while he was trying to pull up walls to keep him out of his head.

"No, I said I would have to think about it. Leave me alone!"

And just like before, the pressure subsided and left Blaine feeling empty, and confused.

"For this next act, we will need a volunteer from the audience."

His ears barely caught what the Ringmaster said before the felt his muscles contracting, working to get him up, out of his seat.

From everywhere in the crowd anxious murmurs were to be heard as Blaine rose from his seat. Only after he stood up completely and he heard himself say that he'd like to volunteer, his mind caught on to what he was doing. He tried to sit down, but his body didn't seem to correspond to the orders his brain was desperately giving.

A smug grin was plastered on the Ringmaster's face.

"Splendid. Now Sir, if you could just come here for a minute, I'll explain what we expect from you."

Blaine's legs moved by themselves and he had absolutely no control over his own body. Halfway to the circle, a pair of ice blue eyes popped up in front of him.

'Just join us, Blaine'

The melodic voice resounded inside of his head and seemed to bounce off the walls, along with the small chuckle accompanying the words. Blaine was distracted, his thoughts a little blurry and smudged but clear enough for Kurt to hear loud and clear.

'Will you be there?'

Blaine's eyes strayed, so he didn't see how the big puddles of blue suddenly filled with tears and then he was gone. With a giant leap he hung upside down from the top of the tent. For the rest of the show, Kurt just hung there, eyeing what the Ringmaster was doing with Blaine. He felt the heat of the fire warm his face, but it did him nothing. He could hear the roars of the tigers as the jumped over Blaine. It did him nothing. He could see Blaine's eyes, empty, with walls right behind them. It made him sad. He wanted Blaine to join. He wanted it so bad. But only because he wanted to himself, not because the Ringmaster had told him to.

He wished he had been able to make his own decisions.

Finally the show ended.

Kurt didn't hear the door of his trailer as he was busying himself rubbing the horrible stage make-up off his face.

"So your human was at the show."

He jumped a little, but he knew he had kept his composure by the lack of a smirk on the small, fierce looking girl's face.

"I noticed, Santana. And he's not my human. He's nobody's anything."

Now a smug smile was indeed pulling on the corners of her mouth.

"Come on, Hummel, just admit that you want him. I can't blame you; I mean, look at him. That is some fine fine eye candy. With those eyes, and that body. You haven't been this flirty since…"

With a low snarl he cut her off.

"You just barge into my trailer without my permission, then go all predatory on the man I'm after, and still you dare bring that up? I must say, Santana, I didn't expect a lot from you, but this? Get out."

Santana's gaze softened a little and she apologized.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so harsh. But look at it from the bright side. He'll never do anything like that again."

Kurt had turned around to stare at the wall of his trailer.

"No he won't. He will never do anything again. You killed him."

The words came out so harsh, so cold and yet so indifferent. As if they were talking about the weather instead of the death of some guy.

Time had made Kurt indifferent to so many things. Life, death, sickness. He had accepted that everything that lives must die at some point. He had to accept it. When you've been around as long as Kurt had, you learn to accept that there is an end to everything. Even to love.

He studied the wall with an unreadable look on his face. Santana knew that look. She had seen it so many times. It was the pondering look, the one you get when you think 'was it all worth it? Was it worth giving up everything?' But she knew that, in time, Kurt would come to the conclusion that, yes, it had been worth it. The Ringmaster took care of everything and everyone the best he could, but even he could not see and hear every little rumor going around. It was just another thing Ringy hadn't picked up on in time. But one … man couldn't be expected to be able to see and hear everything.

Every time they did a show, Kurt would pick a human to play with. He'd flirt his way into their heads. He'd make sure that the man, no matter who or what he preferred to fuck normally, would not get him out of his dreams. Two years ago it had been the same.

He peeked outside his trailer and spotted him right away. Big guy, kind of bulky. Probably married to a nice blonde girl with curls and three kids. And another one on the way. Perfect. This was the kind of challenge Kurt loved. By the end of the night, the guy would doubt every single thing in his short, pathetic life. By morning even more. A smug smirk tugged onto the corners of his mouth at the memory.

So he did a little 'research' as he liked to call it.

He worked his way into the Neanderthal's head.

But what he had found there was not quite what he had expected.

He was married to a cute brunette. He did have a kid or two. But he also had a lover.

A man.

It surprised one side of him, but another side of him already knew. The way he looked a little skittish around his wife, the lithe brunette who was holding his arm. The way Kurt saw his eyes wander more south when the blonde guy with the (admittedly nice) backside came by. The way his brain held more images of the guy than the woman.

This would be easier than expected.

At the show he did the standard. Big blue eyes in his direction, a little more swing in his hips as he walked, a bit of a rougher quality to his voice as he first said his name.

"Dave."

The guy turned around, eyes franticly searching for the source of that voice.

It wasn't as if he was special or anything. Just another Dave, John, Thomas, Nick…

He was just another man on Kurt's list.

But then evening came, and then night. The show was over and so was the flirting. But not for Dave.

While Kurt was in his trailer, scrubbing off his stage make-up, he didn't hear the footsteps outside. He didn't hear the heavy breathing. He didn't hear the door opening and closing. He only felt the hot breath in his neck and a sweaty hand clamped over his mouth.

His screams came out muffled. He got turned around and pushed up against the thin walls of his trailer.

"You think you can just prance that little ass of yours like that? Without anyone doing anything about it?"

Kurt felt how the hot breath ghosted over his ear and could hardly repress a shudder of disgust.

"You know, I don't think you're dumb. So you probably know what's gonna follow. "

No.

No, this could not be happening.

But it was.

A pair of lips covered his own as big, meaty hands grabbed his face. A single tear rolled from under his eyelids.

A tongue granted itself entrance to his mouth, but Kurt tried not to think about it. He distanced his mind from his body, thinking about the happy things in his life as a sweaty hand roamed over his chest.

"I bet you like this, you little filthy whore."

The lips left his for one short moment, and Kurt let out a choked sob. The hand traveled lower and lower and stopped at the waistband of his pants. Dave pressed up against him, and Kurt felt the man's hardness against his thigh. In one swift motion the hand slipped inside of his pants, wrapping around his member. Kurt made a strangled sound.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

This wasn't what he had in mind.

Dave was now grinding himself against Kurt's leg and still furiously working his hand. A choked sound escaped Kurt's mouth. The hand stopped, thank gods, but only to come up to his neck and squeeze so tightly Kurt couldn't breathe.

The grinding kept going and going and air, he needed air so badly and then there it was. The moment where Dave shuddered and slumped against him, a low grunt coming from low in his throat. In that moment of weakness, Kurt brought his knee up with all the force he could muster.

Dave practically folded in half, wheezing and tears streaming down his face. For the next moment Kurt didn't know what to do.

Then he screamed.

He screamed at the top of his lungs, an earsplitting screech that made the leaves on the trees nearby rustle restlessly.

Within seconds Santana almost kicked in his door, followed by Puckerman and a few others.

They froze in the doorframe, seemingly paralyzed by the scene playing out in front of them. The man lying on the ground, squirming, unable to utter a word and then Kurt, pressed against the wall, eyes wide and glossy with tears. The next three seconds happened in a blur. Puck and Sam, one of the other jokers, grabbed Dave and hoisted him to his feet. They had him up against the wall with the blink of an eye while Santana rushed over to Kurt, who just stood there with his hand clamped over his mouth, big blue eyes staring off into the distance. She took his hands in hers and tried to get through to him.

"Kurt! Kurt, what did he do? You have to tell us, Kurt."

In a moment of tenderness she swept a falling tear of his cheek and looked into his eyes.

"Did he hurt you?"

Eyes still glazed over, he nodded.

"Did he do anything besides hurt you?"

Kurt nodded almost imperceptible.

The concern was heavy in her voice as she looked into his eyes.

"Kurt. Did he rape you?"

He shook his head, but after she fixed him with a look, he gave in.

"Yes. Or at least, he tried to."

Santana's eyes became hard. She turned to the boys, who still held down a struggling Dave Karofsky.

"Finish it."

With surprising ease, the Jokers lifted up the man, and dragged him outside. Kurt could hear the twigs and leaves breaking beneath their feet, and he could hear the rustling as they dragged Karofsky away into the forest.

It was only when he couldn't hear them anymore that he collapsed into Santana's arms, who held him, whispering sweet nothings into his ear, trying to comfort him.

She hugged him until hours later he stopped crying, completely drained and he just fell asleep. The boys came back, hands washed, clothes discarded, just like the body.

And the incident was never mentioned again.

He didn't notice he had started crying again until he felt Santana's soft hands handing him a tissue. She forced him to look at her.

"Honey, you did nothing wrong. Well, yeah, you flirted with him, but everybody flirts. I just don't want you to beat yourself up over things that happened 2 years ago. It happened. It got solved. Please don't worry anymore."

Kurt sniffled one last time and then he nodded.

"There's my boy. Now, about this Blaine…"

The light seemed to return to Kurt's face as he started to gush about Blaine and the unpleasant memories were pushed to the back of his mind.

They were not forgotten, not at all. But they were hidden in a place where it would be a lot harder to find them.