Kurt drove around, not really knowing where to go. He was angry. Angry at his father for making him see how fucked up he was, angry at Blaine for leaving him, but mostly, angry at himself, for pushing every person that mattered to him away.

He had turned off his cell phone because he was sure his father would call him and ask him to come back. He couldn't do that. He was so tired of putting on this mask of a man that didn't give a damn but it was so much harder to take it away. He'd lived behind the safeness of that mask for far too long and he was afraid to know what his life would be like – could be like – if he just tossed it aside.

He tried to continue driving without thinking of any of them but something his father had told him was bothering him.

"Blaine's not even in Ohio right now so no excuses."

Blaine wasn't in Ohio? Why? Where was he? Had he gone to New York? But his high school graduation was still a few weeks away. Kurt hadn't wanted to ask his father why Blaine wasn't around but the uncertainty was killing him. He also couldn't complain. He had avoided Blaine, the diner and his family like the plague, just for fear of running into the younger man.

After a little over two hours of driving around, emptying his tank and refilling it, he drove back home. When he parked his car he noticed Finn's truck parked right outside his building. He frowned and got out. Finn seemed to have spotted him from the inside because the moment Kurt began walking towards the truck, he opened the door and got out. His eyes were red and he looked pale.

"Where the hell have you been, dude? And why haven't you answered your phone?"

Kurt thought of a snarky comeback but the look on Finn's face made him stop. Something was not right.

"I, um, I turned it off. What's wrong?"

"Burt, he…." Finn sniffed. "He had a heart attack, Kurt."

Kurt felt his blood turn cold. His eyes widened and his breathing hitched. Surely this was a mistake. Surely he had fallen asleep at the wheel and he would wake up or die in car crash or something. Because this was not happening.

"… What?"

"I don't really know the details. My mom found him when she got home…"

"B-but I was there! I was with him just a few hours ago! I-I mean… I saw Carole come in and I –"

Carole had come home when he and his father were fighting. He had crossed her in the entrance and hadn't stopped at her questions or his dad's shouts to go back. If she had found him when she arrived home…

It had happened just as he left the house.

Because they had been fighting.

His father had a heart attack because of him.

"Oh god…"

"Kurt?"

"It's my fault…"

"What?"

"I did this to him."

Finn shook his head.

"N-no, Kurt. Don't blame yourself. You just –"

"I was just an asshole to my dad and I caused him a heart attack."

Finn was rendered speechless. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. It wasn't like he and Kurt were on the best of terms either but he still loved his brother and he hated to see the look on Kurt's face.

"Come on," he finally let out. "Let's get to the hospital."

The ride was painfully silent. Finn didn't even dare to turn on the radio. Kurt had not said a single word since they had gotten inside the truck and he was now staring outside the window, arms wrapped around his thin frame tightly.

Carole was in the waiting room when they arrived, buying a coffee from a vending machine. Rachel was right next to her talking on the phone to her dads. When Carole spotted them, she left the coffee and threw her arms around Kurt, hugging him tightly.

"Oh, honey, here you are! We've been so worried."

Kurt felt a pang of guilt. He had caused all of this. He had caused his dad so much stress, he had suffered a heart attack. He had made his stepmom worried, he had made his brother look for him all over the city even though they weren't on speaking terms because Kurt had been an asshole.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled because he didn't know what else to say.

Rachel hugged him too, a little bit more hesitant, while Carole hugged Finn.

"How is he?" Kurt whispered, dreading whatever news they were going to give him.

"H-he… He's in a coma, sweetheart."

Kurt blinked once.

"A-and they d-don't know i-if he'll wake u-up…" Carole sobbed.

He took a deep breath and turned his back on her, his heart beating rapidly against his chest. He felt like he couldn't breathe, like the air didn't get to his lungs. He felt dizzy, he felt sick, and he felt a million things at the same time.

"This is not happening…"

Kurt did the only thing he could think of at the moment: he ran. He ran through the halls of the hospital, trying not to knock someone over. He just needed some air; he needed to escape his reality. The front doors opened up automatically and he stumbled outside. He gasped for air and pulled at his hair. His eyes were shut tight and he wished for nothing more than to turn back time and stop himself from saying all those horrible things to his father. To tell him the truth, tell him how angry he was at himself for making Blaine leave. Tell him how hurt was when Blaine walked out the door. Tell him how sorry he was that he had hurt Finn and Rachel and ruined their night. Tell him how grateful he was for having such a beautiful family.

Tell him… that he loved him.

He wanted to tell his father how much he loved him because he truly, truly did. He felt so stupid for wasting so much time in denial, in pretending he didn't feel anything when in reality, he had never stopped feeling. He just stopped showing it. He got so wrapped up in his façade of the numb, no-strings-attached kind of guy that at one point he believed that's who he truly was. But he wasn't, he had never been and he would never be.

He just hoped he had a chance to tell his father just that.

He walked towards the nearest wall and leaned into it, sliding to the floor. He stayed there for a while before slowly getting up and back inside.

Carole came out of the room where Burt was resting to find Kurt awkwardly standing outside. He had his back resting against the wall and he was biting his thumb nervously. His hair was messier than it had been before he bolted out of the waiting room.

"Kurt?" she called him quietly and he raised his eyes to her.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "You know, for, um, running away earlier."

"It's okay, sweetie."

"I just… I don't know how to deal with this. With… with seeing him lying there and knowing I'm the reason he's there."

"No, Kurt… this was not your fault."

"But he… I stressed him out! I upset him and he… I-I did this to him."

Carole grabbed his face in her hands.

"Look at me, Kurt. This was not your fault. Sure, he got riled up in your discussion for what I could tell but it wasn't just that. The doctors said his cholesterol levels were too high and a heart attack was an impending threat. It was likely to happen whether you two fought or not."

Kurt sighed and shut his eyes.

"Can I – can I go see him?"

"Of course."

Kurt nodded and looked to the door behind. He took a deep breath, disentangled himself from Carole's grasp and went to grab the knob. His hand trembled as he turned it and he was immediately welcomed to the sound of the monitor next to his father's bed. Kurt's hand flew to his mouth as he concentrated on not throwing up. Burt looked extremely pale, the tubes making him look tiny and hopeless.

Kurt walked slowly to the edge of the bed, his fingertips lightly touching the sheets of the bed, until he reached his father's hand. He grabbed it and held it between his.

"Hi, dad."

The only answer he got was the steady beep of the monitor next to them.

"I don't know if you can hear me but they always say one should talk in situations like this, right? And who knows? Maybe you can hear me. I… God, I feel so stupid."

He lowered his head and gave a humorless laugh. His grip on Burt's hand tightened as he raised his head again to look at his face.

"I'm so sorry, dad. For – for being such a pain in the ass all these years. I'm sorry for pushing you away after what happened back then. I'm sorry I always seem to take my anger out on you and I'm really sorry I said such terrible things last time we s-spoke…"

His voice trembled and he tried to clear his throat.

"And I'm sorry I haven't been the son you deserve. I-I am so, so lucky to have you and I never got to t-tell y-you that. Please… please d-don't leave me. Please. Let me f-fix this. Wake up, for me. For Carole. For Finn and Rachel. Wake u-up so you can see that I'm not really the douche I pretend to be. Wake up so I-I can tell you h-how m-much I l-love you. Just – please don't leave me…"

His voice broke and for the first time in six years, he let the tears fall and he cried until he fell asleep, his hands tightly wrapped around Burt's.

"That was hilarious!" Blaine said as he and his mom got out of the Eugene O'Neill Theatre after watching The Book of Mormon.

"What should we see tomorrow?" his mom asked and Blaine laughed.

"Whatever you want, mom."

"You're going to have so much fun around here," she suddenly commented as she linked her arm around his.

They walked through the streets of New York, enjoying the warm weather and stopping every now and then at the small gift shops. They had wandered around, finding some small, cheap restaurants where he'd be able to eat after classes or a laundry place for his clothes. They had even found an incredible art shop that Blaine was certain he would visit regularly once he was settled.

They had spent that morning sitting on a bench in Central Park. Kate had brought a book and had been reading while Blaine drew the beautiful scenery unfolding before him. There was so much he wanted to draw from that city and he couldn't wait to capture as many as he could in his sketchbook.

Blaine was glad they had done this. It was a great thing to have his mom around to help him discover the city and spend some time together. Ever since they had left his father's house and he'd been living with Kurt, they had only really spent time like they used to on holidays or the reunions down at the diner. He missed being with her which was why he had decided to dedicate these few days to her. He had told Quinn, Santana and Finn he would turn off his cell phone and turn it back on when they got back in two days.

It was also to keep himself from calling Kurt. He knew it would probably happen if he had his phone with him for too long. He couldn't help it, he missed him. He missed his smile, his eyes, and his smooth skin. He just missed Kurt.

It was dangerous to have his phone around, so it stayed buried deep in his suitcase.

Kurt woke up the next day to find a blanket was covering him. He shifted around and rubbed his face with one of his hands while the other one stayed hooked to his father. He turned around to find Finn reading a magazine in the small couch in front of him with Rachel sleeping soundly in his lap. Kurt watched the way Finn gently ran a hand through Rachel's hair as he balanced the magazine with one hand and maneuvered it around to turn the page.

He laid his head back down so Finn wouldn't notice he was up. A pang of guilt shot through him again as he recalled the terrible things he had said to them before they left for Hawaii. Another one of his screw ups he planned on fixing.

Rachel stirred up on Finn's lap and he stopped reading. Kurt pretended to still be asleep as he watched them interact. Finn left the magazine aside and smiled down to his wife.

"Hey, beautiful."

"Hi," she smiled back, her voice groggy. "Any changes?" she asked, more alert, as she sat up and turned to look at Burt.

"No," Finn said sadly.

They remained quiet as Kurt continued to pretend he was sleeping.

"Watching him sleeping like that makes me remember the sleepovers we used to have back in high school," Rachel whispered. "I remember thinking that's what New York would be like, sleepovers and movie marathons every night with my best friend."

Finn chuckled.

"Too bad we never got to do that when we actually moved there."

Kurt swallowed hard.

Why had it taken his father almost dying for him to realize all the mistakes he had made?

"Many times things don't go as planned," Finn replied.

"Yeah," Rachel said absentmindedly.

"I hate how worn out and tired he looks," Finn commented after some moments of silence. "And I was so scared when we couldn't find him. I mean, I'm still pissed at what he did on our wedding day but –"

"But he's your brother," Kurt could feel the smile in Rachel's voice as she said that.

"But he's my brother and I just hate seeing him like that. I just wish there was something I could do or say to make him stop hurting."

"Blaine leaving him really hit him hard, didn't it?"

Kurt tensed up.

"Yeah, it really did." He heard Finn say.

"Does Blaine know? About…"

"No, I mean, I don't think so. He's still in New York with his mom. He won't come back for another day or two. My mom hasn't really had the time or the head to call Kate either, or Blaine's dad for that matter."

"You think it would help if he… you know, if we asked him to come when he gets back?"

"I don't know but I'm willing to try. I may not be able to do much for Burt but I won't sit around and continue to watch my brother lose himself. I can't lose either of them."

"I love you," Rachel breathed.

"I love you, too."

There was the sound of someone shifting.

"I'm gonna go grab something to eat. You want anything?" Finn asked her.

"I'll go with you," Rachel said.

The door opened and closed quietly and Kurt was left alone in the room with his father. He sniffed and raised his head, closing his eyes for a moment to stop the tears that seemed to continue to appear ever since he had opened up the dam the night before. It appeared to him that those were all the tears he had stopped from falling ever since that night when he had his body, heart and mind broken all at once.

He cursed under his breath at his own stupidity and wished, more than anything, that he hadn't pushed Blaine away like he had. Because Finn and Rachel were right. Blaine leaving him had been devastating. And he needed him.

He wished the younger boy could be there with him, holding his hand and supporting him like Finn and Rachel did with each other. He wished he could be right there to tell him everything would be okay and that they would go through it together, whatever happened. But he knew that wasn't possible. He knew he didn't deserve Blaine's kindness and love. He didn't deserve all the wonderful, loving people he had in his life.

But he couldn't stop himself from taking his phone out of his pocket and dialing Blaine's number.

Blaine and his mom were at the airport, finishing their check-in, when he remembered it would probably be a good idea to turn his phone on. He had managed to stay away from it their entire stay and had, for a while, forgotten of his urge to call Kurt.

He had enjoyed their little trip and he now knew enough about the city to survive when he returned in a few more weeks, this time to make it his new home. His mom turned and handed him his boarding pass. As they walked over to leave their bags and looked for their waiting room, he scanned through his emails and messages.

"I'm going to the ladies' room. I'll be right back, okay?" His mom told him and he nodded.

He sat down and started reading the unread messages he had. There were a few from Quinn randomly asking questions about the city with a last one that said she had just remembered he had told her he would turned his phone off and that they would talk when he got back. There were a few others from Puck and his father, all of them from the day he had left Ohio. He saw he had one more recent message in his voicemail and pressed the button to call right away. One could never know, it could be an important message.

The operator's voice came up, telling him with a mechanic, cold voice about the message and then a beep signaled the beginning of it. He recognized the voice and froze on the spot. His mom came back and noticed the look on his face. She shot him a puzzled look but his eyes were fixed on the floor..

"What is it?"

He raised a hand to stop her from talking. Kurt's voice was speaking to him from the other end, the voice sounding broken and infinitely sad.

"Blaine? Oh, shit… voicemail. Okay… I… Um… I'm sorry I'm calling you. I heard you're with your mom in New York and I don't – I'm sorry… I think I just… my dad, he… he had a heart attack and I just… I think I need you…"

Finn was standing outside the hospital with the hands on his pocket. It had now been five full days since Burt had been hospitalized and there hadn't really been any changes. He was still in a coma and doctors still didn't know if he'd come out of it. His mom had not stopped crying and Rachel had been with her almost every moment of the day. Kurt had been sleeping next to his father, occasionally leaving to get some work done. They really hadn't talked. Finn wanted to, so they could clear the mess that had happened between them but couldn't bring himself to do it and Kurt looked so…lost.

Which was why Finn had tried to call Blaine but he hadn't picked up his phone. He didn't know if it was because he was still in New York or simply because he didn't want to have anything to do with them. He couldn't exactly blame him if that was the case.

"Hi."

Finn turned to find Kurt standing there. He looked a bit more rested but he was still pale and the bags under his eyes were still noticeable.

"Hi," Finn offered back awkwardly. "You're okay?"

Kurt shrugged. "I guess."

Silence stretched between them and Finn rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. Kurt took a few steps forward until he was standing right next to him.

"I'm sorry," he said and Finn looked at him.

"What?"

Kurt shot him a sideways glance.

"For, you know, being such a dick before you guys left."

"Ah."

"I didn't mean to hurt you or ruin it all for you. I was just… I was angry and I needed to take it out on someone."

"Why were you angry?"

Finn knew exactly what Kurt had been angry about but that didn't stop him from asking him. He needed to hear this and from the looks of it, Kurt needed to say it.

"Because I had just been dumped," Kurt laughed bitterly. "Because I had done something to hurt him and he couldn't take it anymore, so he left. And it hurt, a lot. And I guess it was easier to blame you and your marriage for making him leave than taking responsibility for what I had done."

"Oh…"

"Anyway, I'm sorry. For everything, not just being an asshole that day. I'm sorry for making you come with me all those nights at the club and making you drive me around and take care of things I didn't want to deal with. I'm sorry I ruined that night for you and I –"

"It's okay, bro. I forgive you," Finn smiled. "You're my brother and I love you. No matter how many times you screw up, you still got my back."

Kurt smiled back.

Another stretch of silence filled the air but this time, it wasn't awkward. Finn looked at Kurt from the corner of his eye, debating on voicing the question on his mind. He cleared his throat to get his brother's attention.

"So… You love Blaine?"

Kurt stiffened at the name but relaxed after a moment, shoving his hands on the pockets of his jacket.

"I…"

"Kurt! Finn!"

Both men turned to see just the person they were talking about stumbled out of an airport cab with Kate following suit.

"Blaine?" Kurt breathed and Finn turned to see his brother's eyes fixed on Blaine, the spark returning to them.

"Um, hi," Blaine said awkwardly as he made his way to them.

"Why? What are you – Did you just came from the airport?"

"I-I… yeah." He wasn't looking Kurt in the eye. "How is he?"

"He hasn't woken up yet," Finn replied. He had a feeling Kurt had managed to leave a message to Blaine, which was why the kid was standing in front of them now.

Kurt couldn't take his eyes away from Blaine. Finn decided to leave them some moments of privacy and went to help Kate get the suitcases out and offer to put them in his truck.

"I can't believe you're here," Kurt whispered. He didn't trust his voice not to crack if he spoke any louder.

"You said you needed me," Blaine shrugged. "And no matter what happened between us, I still care about you and your family so…" he trailed off.

Kurt couldn't take it anymore. He lunged forward and hugged Blaine, who stumbled a bit from the surprise but then, tentatively, hugged him back.

"Thank you."

He pulled away and placed his hands on Blaine's face, brushing gently a stray, un-gelled curl blocking his hazel-green eyes. Blaine smiled faintly at him and Kurt's breathing hitched. He needed that smile. He needed this boy in his life. He couldn't let him go again. He pulled Blaine closer again, his lips brushing against the boy's ears as he whispered the words he knew he had felt for a while now.

"I love you."