Not On My Agenda
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Not On My Agenda: Epiphanies


M - Words: 2,607 - Last Updated: Jul 19, 2013
Story: Closed - Chapters: 19/? - Created: Oct 20, 2012 - Updated: Jul 19, 2013
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Author's Notes: "I was with his out, gay, male friend who is also extremely attractive," says Kurt. "And within five minutes of meeting him I had completely forgotten about you lying alone and hurt in a hospital bed."

Blaine's finally discharged on Sunday morning, an even longer stay than he'd expected having been brought about on his father's insistence. Kurt had been right, though: Blaine does look worse for wear. He's sporting a purplish-black bruise over his right eye, and he's still wincing with certain movements.

Yet when he gets home, he simply downs painkillers from the kitchen cabinet and retreats to his room, silent as Mrs Anderson watches his retreating back over her cup of coffee. Blaine immediately sets about charging his phone, which had died on him his first night in hospital. As soon as it's regained enough battery to buzz to life, it alerts him of the five missed calls and dozens of texts which he has waiting for him.

Predictably, most of them are from Kurt.

Kurt: Blaine! I just read the papers and you did NOT get out last night. I expect an explanation, if you don't mind.

Kurt: I can't believe you just let me go like that, Blaine! Do you know what could have happened to you?

Kurt: Can I at least come back and see you?

Kurt: OMG, unless you lied because you don't want me there

Kurt: Crap, I'm sorry! I should have checked with you before I came, shouldn't I?

Kurt: If you don't want me over anymore, I understand. Just, tell me next time, okay? I'm not going to get upset or anything

Kurt: Okay, I should probably stop texting - you probably need some rest. But I hope it stops hurting soon, Blaine

As misplaced as his humour may be, Blaine can't help but laugh at the progression of the texts. Kurt sounds, well, he sounds adorable. Blaine swings his bedroom door shut and settles down on his bed, reasoning to himself that Kurt's clearly been worried about him and it would only be the decent thing to call him right away. Forget the fact that Blaine's mother would kill him if she discovers he's getting hospital germs all over his bed, Blaine scrolls through his contacts until he finds Kurt's number anyway.

 "Blaine!" exclaims Kurt worriedly, picking up after just one ring

 "Hey, Kurt," says Blaine casually. "I just charged my phone and read your texts. Those sure made my morning."

"Why are you - oh my God, you found them hilarious, didn't you?" says Kurt indignantly. "Blaine, do you have any idea how freaked out I was?"

"What, about my welfare or about the possibility of me being mad at you?" asks Blaine, settling himself back against the headboard.

"Both!" says Kurt. "Turns out you're just an asshole who lied to me."

"Hey!" says Blaine, wounded.  "I was fine, really. Kurt, it wasn't like I was dying or anythi-"

"And what if you were?" challenges Kurt. "What if you were dying and I just left you like that so I could enjoy my night and-"

"You're right," says Blaine, "I could have died. So you can make up for leaving a dying man by telling him just where you were on Friday night?"

"Really, Blaine?" asks Kurt flatly. "You're guilt-tripping me into telling you gossip?"

Kurt's tone is far from the light-hearted that it usually is when Blaine's teasing, making Blaine realise that Kurt is taking this a lot more seriously than he'd first thought.

"Kurt, it isn't that bad," reasons Blaine. "If something was really wrong, I wouldn't have lied to you like that. I promise. My parents just had me kept there a lot longer than was needed because they're crazy when things like this happened. I remember Cooper had an eye injury once and they took him to see three different specialists ‘just to be sure'."

"Okay," says Kurt, sounding calmer. "I was just - just don't lie to me next time, okay? I don't need you hiding stuff to protect me. I get enough of that from my family as it is. Well, they at least try to -it's a bit hard when people having a go at you makes national headlines."

 "Alright," says Blaine sincerely. "I swear, total honesty from now on.  But can you please give me at least a little hint about what you were doing Friday night?"

Blaine knows it's a risk to bring up the topic again. He fully expects to be reminded defensively of Kurt's right to privacy, or perhaps given an angry scolding. He doesn't at all expect Kurt's next words:

"I can't."

The timidness, even fear, with which the words are uttered has Blaine worried.

"Is everything okay?" he asks, leaning forwards to rest his arms on his knees.

"I'm fine," Kurt assures him. "It's just that, when you find out why I left, you're going to think I'm the most superficial human being on the planet."

 "Try me," says Blaine, though there's something in him that makes him fearful of Kurt's next words.

"I went to the movies with Mercedes."

"How is that bad?" asks Blaine, trying to ignore the magnitude of the relief that he's feeling. "You said so yourself that she's been so busy with her boyfriend lately. You must have loved finally spending some time alone with her."

"He was there too," says Kurt.

"Well, that hardly makes it a crime," reasons Blaine. "Good friends spend time with their friend's boyfriends and girlfriends. You have no idea how many times Nick-"

"He brought along his friend ," Kurt interrupts quickly, as though he's rushing to get the words out before he chickens out.

"Oh," says Blaine. It's all he can say, because with the way that Kurt's speaking, Blaine can tell that this isn't just the friend of his best friend's boyfriend.

"His out, gay, male friend who is also extremely attractive," Kurt continues. "And within five minutes of meeting him I had completely forgotten about you lying alone and hurt in a hospital bed."

"Kurt, enough!" snaps Blaine, surprised by the harshness of his own words. "I told you to go out so you could have fun. And it sounds like you did. That was the whole point."

"So, you're not mad?" asks Kurt, half-surprised, half-tentative.

"What am I, a jealous boyfriend?" asks Blaine. "Of course I'm not mad. Now tell me how it went?"

"Oh, well if you're sure-"

"Kurt"

"It went amazing."

Kurt's smile is audible in his voice now that he's free of guilt, and Blaine can't help but feel momentarily happy for his friend.

"He was so much nicer than most of the guys I know," gushes Kurt. "He kept opening doors and offering me his coat when it got cold-"

I can open doors and offer you coats, Blaine thinks, as he hums a noise of approval into the speaker.

"-and when it came to the end of the movie, and Mercedes and Sam had already called it a night, Harry - that's his name, just like the prince only he is so much more polite - he asked if he could kiss me. And so he gave me my first kiss and we made plans to go see Rocky Horror down at the small theatre near...."

Blaine's suddenly more alert, his thoughts working faster than he'd like.

How has Kurt not been kissed until now? says a voice in his head.

That could have been me, growls another.

Blaine's eyes widen. Where had that even come from? Sure, he could have been Kurt's first kiss, and Kurt could have been his, but so could many other guys in DC.  So why is it that, when he should be feeling nothing but happiness for his new friend, it's marred by the unmistakable feeling of jealousy burning inside him?

Shit. This can't be happening.

Any unfamiliar feelings that Blaine had felt until now, he'd put down to simply meeting and knowing Kurt. He was the first guy that could, in theory, like him back. It's simply a new experience, he'd told himself, that was all. And any jealousy Blaine had felt before he'd put down to his being jealous of Kurt - of his accepting father and his confidence and the fact that dating was even a possibility for him. But with just how much Blaine's stomach is knotting up at the prospect of Kurt going on a second date, Blaine knows it isn't Kurt that most of his jealousy is directed at - he's mainly extremely jealous of Harry.

Yes, as cliché as it sounds, Blaine Anderson has a crush on Kurt Hummel. And that was definitely never part of the plan.  

"Blaine?"

"Huh?" says Blaine, snapping out of his thoughts.

"You've been silent for a good twenty seconds now," says Kurt. "Are you okay? I freaked you out by talking about a guy so much, didn't I? I should just save my debriefs for Mercedes-"

"No, no!" Blaine interjects. "I was just...momentarily distracted. Must be the side effects of the concussion or something. I'm really happy for you. I mean, it must be difficult, finding someone who's actually gay and on top of that who you actually like and who likes you back. I'm glad you found someone, Kurt."

It's complete word-vomit, Blaine feels, but clearly he's better at keeping up a façade of confidence than he thinks, because Kurt simply makes an appreciative sound in response.

 "You're making it sound like I did the impossible," says Kurt. "But thanks. Just - don't tell anyone, okay? Everyone already knows about me being gay and everything, but I'd rather they not know who I am and am not dating."

"Of course," says Blaine. "I promise."

And as he listens to Kurt go on about just how excited he is for next Friday, Blaine knows that he must at least be a little happy for him, even if the feeling's buried under a tonne of other emotions which he's struggling to get his head around.


Blaine still hasn't fully processed his feelings by the time he's seated in History on Monday morning, but as it turns out it isn't long before he has another problem on his plate.

"Your face gets uglier with each day, Anderson."

Blaine looks up to see a smiling Nick approach him, Jeff trailing behind with his trademark morning paper in hand.

"Press had a field day," says Jeff, placing the paper on Blaine's desk, "but I guess even you could have figured that out."

Blaine had made a habit of avoiding the news wherever possible -  he had found that it was a good tactic if he wanted to keep his feelings about his father's politics at bay. But now, when Blaine knows it's definitely not about his father, he quickly picks up the paper and scans the front page, as Nick and Jeff perch themselves on desks either side of him

Fraternizing With the Enemy: Unexpected friendship brews amidst race to the White House.

As their parents go head-to-head for top job, the sons of presidential candidates Senator Hummel and Senator Anderson appear to be forming a close friendship.

Kurt Hummel was spotted heading into St Vincent's Private Hospital in downtown DC late Friday evening. While hospital staff refuse to comment on the visit, it is believed that he was visiting Blaine Anderson, who had been brought in earlier in the afternoon.

What's more, it is believed that Anderson was admitted following a schoolyard brawl about marriage equality.  Senator Anderson has been quite vocally opposed to any changes in Federal marriage laws, while Kurt Hummel is openly gay, with the full and often vocal support of Senator Hummel. It's an unlikely friendship, to say the least. Is it possible that Blaine is merely an innocent victim in this situation, with completely different views on the issue than his father's?

Continued on Page 5

"We thought this might happen," says Blaine, handing the paper back to Jeff. "Honestly, though, we're not too bothered by it, and both our dads are fine with it."

 "Since when was there a ‘we'?" says Jeff, folding the paper up before stuffing it into his bag. "You two are seriously starting to sound like a couple, you know."

"Shut up, Jeff, you're forgetting the good stuff," snaps Nick, before turning his attention to Blaine. "Seeing as you guys have talked, you can tell us exactly where he was on Friday night."

"Sorry, can't," says Blaine simply. "I was sworn to secrecy."

"That's bullshit," says Jeff, despite the fact that they're discussing a topic that's well outside his interests. "We tell each other everything."

"Sorry, guys," Blaine repeats, unable to offer any other consolation than a shrug of his shoulders. "This isn't mine to tell."

Nick takes this as his chance to jump to his own conclusions.

"I knew it was a date," he says with satisfaction.

Blaine rolls his eyes, ignoring the pang of jealousy that comes with the reminder, and hastily changes the subject. "That group history assignment, by the way - did you guys want to get started on it this afternoon?"

"Sounds good," says Jeff. "Nick, should we do your pl-oh."

Jeff stops, eyes widening in realisation he looks across at Nick who, Blaine sees, shoots back a pointed glare.

"What's going on?" asks Blaine, his eyes darting between his two friends.

"Nothing," says Jeff quickly. "I was just thinking that we could do my place instead seeing as we're always at Nick's."

"Jeff, I don't mean to sound picky or anything, but your place is all the way across town," says Blaine gently. "If we can't do it at Nick's, you two can just come over to mine."

Jeff and Nick exchange meaningful looks.

"Guys," says Blaine. "Seriously, what's going on?"

"Nothing."

"So much for us telling each other everything then," says Blaine bitterly.

Nick chews on his bottom lip, before complying.

"Alright, fine," he says. "Don't take this the wrong way or anything, but my mum doesn't really want me hanging around with you anymore."

Blaine gapes at Nick, dumbfounded.

"I'm sorry," says Blaine when he finally finds the words, anger rising within his chest.  "How am I not supposed to take that the wrong way?"

"'Cause it's not about you, really," says Nick. "Look, you know how my uncle's gay, right? I guess your dad's "agenda" or whatever is starting to get to mum. No offence."

"None taken," says Blaine automatically, because he's used to criticism of his father's policy's and has never once tried to defend them, which is why he goes on to say, "But Nick, c'mon, you know that's not me."

"I know, but I think the fight the other day set her over the edge," says Nick with a shrug. "Sorry, Blaine."

"So, what, are you just not going to hang out with me anymore?" says Blaine sadly.

"Of course not," says Nick. "It's just that my parents can't find out, that's all."

"Great," says Blaine with a sigh. "So now I'm your dirty little secret?"

"You're making yourself sound like some hooker I'm seeing on the sly," says Nick.

"Yeah, well, I kind of feel like that," Blaine shoots back.

"C'mon, Blaine," says Nick. "I'm not going to lose you over some stupid election. I mean, at least I'm still here in the first place, right?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" asks Blaine with narrowed eyes, just as Miss Harper enters the classroom.

"Nothing," whispers Nick hastily, sliding into his seat as Jeff does the same, both boys shooting Miss Harper apologetic smiles.

But Blaine finds out what Nick's talking about soon enough. Now that he has his eye out for it, it isn't hard to notice what's changed. They're little things, like the way that his Chemistry partner doesn't give him the usual smile in greeting, and the hushed whispers which die down when he approaches, and even when no one but Nick and Jeff sit near him at choir rehearsals. Even in a school like Dalton, which has such a strong emphasis on religion and traditional values, there's still a fair share of believers in marriage equality. Normally, Blaine would be glad for the reminder that not everyone uses religion as an excuse for bigotry, but right now he can't even be grateful for that. Not when the whole situation is making him feel more alone than he has in years. 

 

End Notes: I promise I am coming back to more of how Blaine feels about Kurt, it's just that I'd rather give him a bit of time to process the whole thing. Plus there's a lot of other stuff going on in his life which he has to deal with as well.Also there is a good chance that I might not update for a good while. And I know I always say that and end up updating earlier than I say I will. So I'm saying that I may not update for a month or so because I'm going away for a bit, so at least you've been warned if I can't update before then. I promise to try and get back to it as soon as I can though!

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naww Jealous!Blaine has made an apperance! woo! but the sexual tension. THE SEXUAL TENSION! i love it :3 but BOO! for Nick's parentals being douchy -even though i love it's placement in the story and it adds to the anxiety and love i feel for this story

Glad the angst doesn't seem too over the top - I'm a bit of a sucker for blangst but I know not everyone else is. Thanks for reviewing :)