July 19, 2013, 5:03 p.m.
Not On My Agenda: Fight For You
M - Words: 1,679 - Last Updated: Jul 19, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 19/? - Created: Oct 20, 2012 - Updated: Jul 19, 2013 150 1 0 0 0
Blaine and Cooper take their time going back to the hotel. Neither of them is looking forward to facing their father after the stunt they'd just pulled. When they reach the door of the hotel suite, Blaine turns to Cooper.
"You don't have to come in, you know," says Blaine.
"What?" says Cooper, but the relief that flashes in his eyes doesn't go unnoticed by Blaine.
"You've helped me so much until now, Coop, but I think this is something I have to do on my own," says Blaine. "Besides, there's no reason you should be dragged into all of this."
"Apart from the fact that you're my little brother?" asks Cooper, raising his eyebrows at Blaine. "If you're sure you want to do this alone, though....Call if you need me, okay? I'll hang around nearby for a couple of hours before heading back home."
"Okay," says Blaine. "Thanks, Cooper."
"Any time," says Cooper.
They hug goodbye and then Cooper's gone, leaving Blaine alone in the hallway. He takes a deep breath. He slots in the keycard and admits himself into the room.
"Blaine! Oh, thank God you're back!"
Mrs Anderson rushes towards her son, wrapping him up in a hug.
"I thought you might run off again," she says against Blaine's ear.
"No, Mum, I'm really sorry that I worried you," says Blaine. His arms find his way around his mum's waist, hugging her back in an attempt at comforting her. He is truly sorry that she had been worried, after all.
And if returning to the suite had just meant returning to his mother, then Blaine would not have done so with as much trepidation as he had.
"Blaine."
It's his father's voice. Steady. Blaine leaves the sanctuary of his mother's embrace to look his father in the eye. He finds no challenge there, merely stress... and weariness.
"I think we need to talk," Senator Anderson goes on, gesturing towards the seats in the lounge area.
Blaine nods. Mrs Anderson gives a final, gentle squeeze to Blaine's hand before retreating to the main bedroom. Blaine moves further into the room, where he and his father both take seats opposite each other on the couches.
"If you're going to get angry at me for what I did-" Blaine starts, immediately on the defensive.
But Senator Anderson raises his hand, silencing his son. His expression is solemn. When he speaks, it's to ask a question, and one that Blaine had not at all be anticipating.
"You love him, don't you?"
"I-"
Senator Anderson merely raises an eyebrow at Blaine, prompting. Blaine nods.
"Yeah," says Blaine. "Yeah, Dad, I do."
Senator Anderson looks away in thought, before letting out a sigh.
"I'm not going to pretend that I understand the whole gay thing - at least not yet," says Senator Anderson, still not looking at Blaine. "But, I understand love." His gaze shifts back to meet Blaine's. "And I understand love despite what everyone else considers may be 'best'."
Blaine has to bite his tongue to keep the argument from leaving his lips - that loving men, loving Kurt, is what is best for him. Blaine bites his tongue because, for the first time, his father at least seems to be beginning to understand him.
"My parents didn't want me marrying your mother, you know?" Senator Anderson continues, reminiscently. "They tried to convince me that I could find someone better. To me, there was no better. I didn't see what they saw was wrong with her. Because for them, "better" meant "white". And that mindset was something I could never understand. I had fallen in love with your mother, and in my eyes everything about her was perfect - or, well, perfectly imperfect."
Blaine smiles. He knows the way his parents love each other. He's grown up seeing it, and knowing love is nothing less than what his parents have. And he loves how, even years after they first met, his father still talks about his mother in the same, enamoured way.
"I see that," says Blaine. "For over eighteen years, I've seen the way that you and mum love each other. You two taught me what love is. That's how I know that what I feel for Kurt is love."
"I know," says Senator Anderson, to Blaine's surprise. "And I know, if you're anything like me, that nothing I do or say is going to stop you from being with him. But I don't think I want to stop you from being with him. I know I can't make this decision for you. Because it isn't a decision, is it? I never chose to fall in love with your mother, and you never chose to fall in love with Kurt. But it happened. And that - love - is something that I can understand, no matter how much it doesn't make sense."
"You're not mad at me?" asks Blaine. "I mean, don't you think at least that I shouldn't have posted that video?"
Senator Anderson smiles.
"If we had had as much social media as you kids do now - and if I wasn't as afraid of my father as I was - chances are I may have done something similar," he says with a smirk. "I'm surprised your mother never told you that we ran away for a month. She left her parents a note to say she was fine and everything, of course, and sent letters every week, but it was still something we probably shouldn't have done."
Blaine smiles.
"Thanks, Dad," he says. "I'm really glad you understand."
"I'm just so sorry it took me so long," says Senator Anderson. "But seeing how much you care about Kurt, that's what finally made it click. You're probably not going to like me saying this, but I saw a lot of my younger self in you. Truth is, I've always been stubborn. And when I was younger, it was more directed at my parents. Somehow I had convinced myself that it was okay to direct that stubbornness at you, my son, instead, when really I should have been trying to understand."
Tears track down Blaine's cheeks. Finally, after months, his father gets it.
"No more dirty politics, then?" asks Blaine.
"No more dirty politics," Senator Anderson agrees. "I think I owe a couple of people an apology - you included. So I'm sorry for just...everything."
Blaine nods.
"I'm sorry for the video," says Blaine. "I know you did work hard for your campaign, and I usually try and stay out of it just...I wanted to do something."
"You wanted to fight for him," says Senator Anderson understandingly. He surveys Blaine for a moment. "You should go find him. Don't let him leave your life without a damn good fight."
Blaine beams across at his father. He's right. Kurt is someone worth going to hell and back for - he just hopes that coming back is still an option.
Twenty minutes later and Blaine is outside Kurt's hotel room, knocking on his door. It's answered immediately, which Blaine takes as a good sign - until he sees how puffy Kurt's eyes are.
"Kurt," says Blaine, his voice softening. "What's wrong?"
"Just - everything," says Kurt, turning around and walking back further into his room. Blaine follows him in, shutting the door behind him.
"Is this about my parents?" says Blaine. "Because I talked to my dad, and he gets it, Kurt. He gets that I love you-"
"Don't," says Kurt, the pain evident in his voice. "Don't say things like that, Blaine."
Blaine's eyebrows furrow.
"But...I don't get it. We finally don't have to hide this from my parents - my dad is finally okay with us."
"Yeah, well, suddenly my dad isn't," snaps Kurt.
"What?" Blaine asks, shocked.
"He doesn't trust you, Blaine!" exclaims Kurt. "He doesn't think it's good for us to see each other anymore."
"And you're going to listen to him?" Blaine shoots back. "After everything I did for you that went against my dad, as soon as he gets on board with us you're going to throw it all away because of something your dad wants? How is that fair?"
"My dad has never been against us dating because you're a guy, Blaine!" Kurt shouts back. "He doesn't want us dating because you're you. He doesn't trust you."
The words cut Blaine deep. Here he is being judged, not for his sexuality, but for who is as a person. Or at least, who people think he is.
"What about what you want, Kurt?" Blaine asks, his voice softening. "Don't you trust me? You know I'm not my father. Can't you make your dad see that?"
"I don't think you understand what me and my dad have, Blaine," says Kurt. "He's been there for me through thick and thin. He needs me to be there for him now, more than ever. He says there'll be other boys - plenty when I'm in New York - but that I only ever get one family."
Blaine's jaw drops. He's angry now, not so much at Kurt, but for him. Because there is no way that Kurt believes that.
"You can't be serious?" he exclaims. "Kurt, I know you. You are one of the most romantic people I know. You've watched every romantic movie that's worth watching, and I know you watch them knowing that the main couple are meant for each other. Sure, boys will fall in love with you in New York - I wouldn't be surprised if every gay man you meet has a crush on you, to be perfectly honest. But are you really going let your dad convince you to give up on us just because one of them may be right for you? We're Noah and Allie, Kurt. I know what I feel for you, and I know what you feel for me. I know we'd never intentionally hurt each other, and I know we'd be so good together. We make each other better people. Don't you think that means that we are meant for each other?"
Kurt is blinking back tears now, refusing to look Blaine directly in the eye.
"Life isn't always like the movies, Blaine," he says sadly.
"But it can be, Kurt," Blaine implores. "And you deserve that."
"I think you should leave," says Kurt, to a patch of carpet a few feet in front of him.
"Okay," says Blaine. "If you want me to go, I'll go. But I'm not done fighting for you, Kurt. Nowhere near done."
Blaine and Cooper take their time going back to the hotel. Neither of them is looking forward to facing their father after the stunt they'd just pulled. When they reach the door of the hotel suite, Blaine turns to Cooper.
"You don't have to come in, you know," says Blaine.
"What?" says Cooper, but the relief that flashes in his eyes doesn't go unnoticed by Blaine.
"You've helped me so much until now, Coop, but I think this is something I have to do on my own," says Blaine. "Besides, there's no reason you should be dragged into all of this."
"Apart from the fact that you're my little brother?" asks Cooper, raising his eyebrows at Blaine. "If you're sure you want to do this alone, though....Call if you need me, okay? I'll hang around nearby for a couple of hours before heading back home."
"Okay," says Blaine. "Thanks, Cooper."
"Any time," says Cooper.
They hug goodbye and then Cooper's gone, leaving Blaine alone in the hallway. He takes a deep breath. He slots in the keycard and admits himself into the room.
"Blaine! Oh, thank God you're back!"
Mrs Anderson rushes towards her son, wrapping him up in a hug.
"I thought you might run off again," she says against Blaine's ear.
"No, Mum, I'm really sorry that I worried you," says Blaine. His arms find his way around his mum's waist, hugging her back in an attempt at comforting her. He is truly sorry that she had been worried, after all.
And if returning to the suite had just meant returning to his mother, then Blaine would not have done so with as much trepidation as he had.
"Blaine."
It's his father's voice. Steady. Blaine leaves the sanctuary of his mother's embrace to look his father in the eye. He finds no challenge there, merely stress... and weariness.
"I think we need to talk," Senator Anderson goes on, gesturing towards the seats in the lounge area.
Blaine nods. Mrs Anderson gives a final, gentle squeeze to Blaine's hand before retreating to the main bedroom. Blaine moves further into the room, where he and his father both take seats opposite each other on the couches.
"If you're going to get angry at me for what I did-" Blaine starts, immediately on the defensive.
But Senator Anderson raises his hand, silencing his son. His expression is solemn. When he speaks, it's to ask a question, and one that Blaine had not at all be anticipating.
"You love him, don't you?"
"I-"
Senator Anderson merely raises an eyebrow at Blaine, prompting. Blaine nods.
"Yeah," says Blaine. "Yeah, Dad, I do."
Senator Anderson looks away in thought, before letting out a sigh.
"I'm not going to pretend that I understand the whole gay thing - at least not yet," says Senator Anderson, still not looking at Blaine. "But, I understand love." His gaze shifts back to meet Blaine's. "And I understand love despite what everyone else considers may be 'best'."
Blaine has to bite his tongue to keep the argument from leaving his lips - that loving men, loving Kurt, is what is best for him. Blaine bites his tongue because, for the first time, his father at least seems to be beginning to understand him.
"My parents didn't want me marrying your mother, you know?" Senator Anderson continues, reminiscently. "They tried to convince me that I could find someone better. To me, there was no better. I didn't see what they saw was wrong with her. Because for them, "better" meant "white". And that mindset was something I could never understand. I had fallen in love with your mother, and in my eyes everything about her was perfect - or, well, perfectly imperfect."
Blaine smiles. He knows the way his parents love each other. He's grown up seeing it, and knowing love is nothing less than what his parents have. And he loves how, even years after they first met, his father still talks about his mother in the same, enamoured way.
"I see that," says Blaine. "For over eighteen years, I've seen the way that you and mum love each other. You two taught me what love is. That's how I know that what I feel for Kurt is love."
"I know," says Senator Anderson, to Blaine's surprise. "And I know, if you're anything like me, that nothing I do or say is going to stop you from being with him. But I don't think I want to stop you from being with him. I know I can't make this decision for you. Because it isn't a decision, is it? I never chose to fall in love with your mother, and you never chose to fall in love with Kurt. But it happened. And that - love - is something that I can understand, no matter how much it doesn't make sense."
"You're not mad at me?" asks Blaine. "I mean, don't you think at least that I shouldn't have posted that video?"
Senator Anderson smiles.
"If we had had as much social media as you kids do now - and if I wasn't as afraid of my father as I was - chances are I may have done something similar," he says with a smirk. "I'm surprised your mother never told you that we ran away for a month. She left her parents a note to say she was fine and everything, of course, and sent letters every week, but it was still something we probably shouldn't have done."
Blaine smiles.
"Thanks, Dad," he says. "I'm really glad you understand."
"I'm just so sorry it took me so long," says Senator Anderson. "But seeing how much you care about Kurt, that's what finally made it click. You're probably not going to like me saying this, but I saw a lot of my younger self in you. Truth is, I've always been stubborn. And when I was younger, it was more directed at my parents. Somehow I had convinced myself that it was okay to direct that stubbornness at you, my son, instead, when really I should have been trying to understand."
Tears track down Blaine's cheeks. Finally, after months, his father gets it.
"No more dirty politics, then?" asks Blaine.
"No more dirty politics," Senator Anderson agrees. "I think I owe a couple of people an apology - you included. So I'm sorry for just...everything."
Blaine nods.
"I'm sorry for the video," says Blaine. "I know you did work hard for your campaign, and I usually try and stay out of it just...I wanted to do something."
"You wanted to fight for him," says Senator Anderson understandingly. He surveys Blaine for a moment. "You should go find him. Don't let him leave your life without a damn good fight."
Blaine beams across at his father. He's right. Kurt is someone worth going to hell and back for - he just hopes that coming back is still an option.
Twenty minutes later and Blaine is outside Kurt's hotel room, knocking on his door. It's answered immediately, which Blaine takes as a good sign - until he sees how puffy Kurt's eyes are.
"Kurt," says Blaine, his voice softening. "What's wrong?"
"Just - everything," says Kurt, turning around and walking back further into his room. Blaine follows him in, shutting the door behind him.
"Is this about my parents?" says Blaine. "Because I talked to my dad, and he gets it, Kurt. He gets that I love you-"
"Don't," says Kurt, the pain evident in his voice. "Don't say things like that, Blaine."
Blaine's eyebrows furrow.
"But...I don't get it. We finally don't have to hide this from my parents - my dad is finally okay with us."
"Yeah, well, suddenly my dad isn't," snaps Kurt.
"What?" Blaine asks, shocked.
"He doesn't trust you, Blaine!" exclaims Kurt. "He doesn't think it's good for us to see each other anymore."
"And you're going to listen to him?" Blaine shoots back. "After everything I did for you that went against my dad, as soon as he gets on board with us you're going to throw it all away because of something your dad wants? How is that fair?"
"My dad has never been against us dating because you're a guy, Blaine!" Kurt shouts back. "He doesn't want us dating because you're you. He doesn't trust you."
The words cut Blaine deep. Here he is being judged, not for his sexuality, but for who is as a person. Or at least, who people think he is.
"What about what you want, Kurt?" Blaine asks, his voice softening. "Don't you trust me? You know I'm not my father. Can't you make your dad see that?"
"I don't think you understand what me and my dad have, Blaine," says Kurt. "He's been there for me through thick and thin. He needs me to be there for him now, more than ever. He says there'll be other boys - plenty when I'm in New York - but that I only ever get one family."
Blaine's jaw drops. He's angry now, not so much at Kurt, but for him. Because there is no way that Kurt believes that.
"You can't be serious?" he exclaims. "Kurt, I know you. You are one of the most romantic people I know. You've watched every romantic movie that's worth watching, and I know you watch them knowing that the main couple are meant for each other. Sure, boys will fall in love with you in New York - I wouldn't be surprised if every gay man you meet has a crush on you, to be perfectly honest. But are you really going let your dad convince you to give up on us just because one of them may be right for you? We're Noah and Allie, Kurt. I know what I feel for you, and I know what you feel for me. I know we'd never intentionally hurt each other, and I know we'd be so good together. We make each other better people. Don't you think that means that we are meant for each other?"
Kurt is blinking back tears now, refusing to look Blaine directly in the eye.
"Life isn't always like the movies, Blaine," he says sadly.
"But it can be, Kurt," Blaine implores. "And you deserve that."
"I think you should leave," says Kurt, to a patch of carpet a few feet in front of him.
"Okay," says Blaine. "If you want me to go, I'll go. But I'm not done fighting for you, Kurt. Nowhere near done."