“Oh my god, no,” Kurt whined from the middle seat of the giant SUV Rachel's dads had rented for the New York crew (minus Santana and Dani, since Santana refused to ride that long in a car with Brody and Adam together) to drive to Myrtle in. They were squeezed in to maximum capacity and it was the most uncomfortable Kurt thought he could be without having to be squeezed between Adam and Brody, and now the latter mentioned had turned the radio to some ridiculous 90's hip hop station. He was not dealing with that for the whole ride to the beach.

Elliot and Blaine were on either side of Kurt and exchanged a look over the countertenor's back as Kurt leaned forward to slap Rachel's arm, shooting a glare at Brody's head as the ‘plastic' male drove. “Rach, you have to put something else on. I don't even care what, but this is just unacceptable. Literally no one else likes it.” The rest of the occupants were nodding, and Kurt narrowed his eyes. “See? Even fucking Adam doesn't like it!”

The British man sniffed indignantly and Sebastian rolled his eyes while Rachel sighed and flipped through the stations. Brody tried to say he was driving so he got to pick, and Elliot was quick to grab Kurt and pull him back before he could slap the guy upside the head and cause them to wreck. “No, I think Rachel gets to pick since her dads are paying, but good try I guess,” Blaine reasoned, then started dancing in his seat to a pop song that was just his style and caused Kurt and Bas to share a ‘look'.

Adam complained about the new station along with Brody, but the majority either liked it (Blaine, Rachel, Eli) or didn't mind it (Elliot, Kurt, Sebastian) so it stayed on and most of them ended up joining Blaine in singing along before too many songs passed.

Several rest stops, songs, some fast food, and an argument about not wanting to stop to eat because that would mean more time ultimately cramped in a car in which the couple people who wanted to stop were easily outvoted later, Brody pulled the SUV into a parking area outside a large beach house and the eight of them quickly got out of the vehicle. Kurt cracked his back in such a way that Elliot was staring at him and had to ask if he was okay, while Sebastian hopped around on one foot because his left leg had fallen completely asleep and he couldn't put weight on it and he was making noises that had Blaine holding his stomach in laughter.

Kurt noted how Adam provided no help to Bas before going over himself and pushing the taller man down in the grass and sand mixture that served as a ‘yard' for their temporary home, sitting down himself before grabbing Sebastian's leg and pulling his calf and foot into his lap. “You should have made Rachel sit in the back and give you the passenger seat,” Kurt muttered, massaging the feeling back into his friend's leg and foot while Bas laughed and whimpered at the tingly sensations shooting up his leg. “You're way too tall to sit back in that third row. I'm surprised your knees are locked up.”

Blaine took his and Kurt's things inside while Kurt kept working on Bas, coming to stand over Kurt's back and look down at both of them sooner than expected. “Uh, guys? There are only like… four bedrooms and a pull out couch in the living room. Each room has two beds that look like they're at least full sized, so two people to a bed I guess? So thats four to a room… how many people are staying here?”

While Bas took his leg back and moved it back and forth, making sure he wasn't numb anymore and pointedly not looking around for his absent boyfriend, Kurt started rambling off names, keeping tally on his fingers. “Well, there's us, Bas, Adam, Rachel and douchewad, (Sebastian snickered as Brody grumbled, having heard Kurt) Eli, Elliot, Tana and Dani, Finn, Noah, Brittany and her mystery boyfriend, Wes, David, Nick and Jeff… I don't think anyone else was making it. So that's… two to a bed, four to a room, and two left on the couch bed, yeah?”

“Nobody else had better show up, that's all I'm gonna say,” Sebastian grumbled, then looked Blaine and Kurt before standing up. “So are we sharing a room then? I know you don't like Adam but… I can't really see sharing with anyone else and I really don't want to take the couch bed thing…” The look he shot them had Kurt and Blaine exchanging a significant glance before agreeing to mind their manners with Adam and share a room with the couple.

Thanking Kurt for the massage, Bas headed back to the car to get his things and take them up to the room he'd be staying in. Apparently his boyfriend wasn't as thoughtful as Blaine and had left his stuff while everyone else took everything inside- big surprise there. “I have no idea how I'm not going to kill one of them this week…” Kurt muttered, glancing at Adam, then Brody, and thinking about the other people who'd be joining them. “I really hope Noah brings some good alcohol…”

By that evening, everybody had shown up and there was barely enough room for all the cars to park and Kurt had already managed to smack Adam upside the head for a rude comment about Blaine which had led to Bas banning the idiot to their room before the obnoxious blonde could retaliate against the countertenor. At that moment, Puck decided it was a good idea to break out the alcohol he did indeed back into his truck along with himself, Finn, and some bags that probably didn't have anywhere near enough clothes for the week. Kurt grabbed a bottle of flavored vodka and took a long swig even before it was decided that an old and well-loved game should be played.

“Never have I ever started a fight the first day of a week long vacation,” Wes quipped to start the fun, which had Kurt flipping him off as he took another shot before even bothering to mix a proper drink. Noah took a drink too, which didn't surprise anyone, as did Sebastian.

Kurt bit back in an instant, of course. “Never have I ever had a weird love affair with a gavel. And don't you dare try to deny it, Wesley, because Jeff and Nick have both shared videos.” Wes drank with a glare, and the game continued as everyone got significantly drunker.

“Never have I ever been surrounded by so many weird mixtures of exes and flings and… all this crap. Jesus,” Puck muttered, looking around at the mix of people. There were way too many weird relationships in this group. He cleared his throat and actually said a real never have I ever. “Alright, never have I ever been with a dude.”

Rolled eyes were shared all around as everyone but Wes, David, Puck, and Finn drank. It was noted that Brody drank, but Rachel glared around the room until everyone fell quiet. The fact was, Finn was the least drunk, followed by Wes, but even they were getting there. And they'd get there even more if Kurt, Bas, and Santana had anything to say about it. The three had been conspiring for the last three turns, and now it was their turn.

“Never have I ever thought I got my girlfriend pregnant,” Santana said. Laughing as all six straight boys plus Elliot drank. “Oh, Sparkles, you are so telling that story sometime in the near future.”

Elliot just flipped her off while Kurt snorted and took his turn. “Never have I ever dated or crushed on one Rachel Berry.” Kurt and Santana leaned together cackling when the glares started, Puck looking capable of murder as he drank. Finn, Brody, and Wes all drank, then Brit's boyfriend took a drink and Kurt quirked a brow before nudging Bas so they could move right along.

“You know, I should probably check on Adam…” he murmured, but then just shook his head and took his turn instead, not bothering to even pretend to be interested in getting up and going after the guy he was dating. “Never have I ever been with a girl. Two can play at this game, Puckerman,” he added with a smirk.

Everyone but Sebastian, Kurt, Blaine, Rachel, Nick, Jeff,  and Eli drank. The game kept going, only getting raunchier, until everyone knew exactly who had played with bondage (everyone but Finn and Eli) and who had been in a threesome (Puck cheered when Kurt and Blaine both drank) and finally they all decided to stop before someone got alcohol poisoning.

“We should go to bed,” Kurt slurred, and Blaine and Bas got up to support him as he went for the stairs. Apparently they held their liquor a bit better. That might have been due to Kurt substituting swigs of his drink for actual shots some of the time, but who was counting? “Hopefully douchenozzle isn't still being pissy. I don't wanna break his face tonight.”

Bas laughed and shook his head and they somehow got Kurt up to the room, only to find Adam under the covers and sprawled out, taking up the entirety of one bed. Bas groaned, but Kurt just smiled at him and tugged him over to the open bed by the front of his pants. “We'll just share like old times…”

After confirming with Blaine that he didn't mind, Sebastian just shrugged and the three of them crawled into the too-small bed, curling up together like puzzle pieces that just... fit. “G'night, Kurt,” Bas whispered. “G'night Blaine.”

He fell asleep to the sound of his boyfriend snoring alone and the warmth of the two men he cared most about snuggled in on either side of him.

By the next afternoon, hangovers were mostly gone and Adam was less pissy. He'd been pretty enraged to wake up and find his boyfriend snuggled between the entity known as ‘Klaine' but when Kurt literally growled and hissed at him, Adam backed off and just went out to jog on the beach until everyone was ready to hit the sand for the day.

Eventually, they all got to the beach and even Kurt was shirtless even if he was squealing as Puck and Finn picked him up and literally threw him into the ocean. It was a lot like the pool parties of old but with saltwater and more people and Kurt was seriously going to murder Jeff when he got back to the blanket on the sand.

Adam was busy complaining about how he was hungry and didn't want to go back to the beach house and didn't like the options Rachel had packed in the giant picnic basket she brought, which was making Sebastian look like he was about to explode. Meanwhile, Kurt had tackled Jeff and was rolling around in the sand, covering both of them in it and sharing the water that still clung to his body and trunks while Blaine giggled so hard it hurt his stomach.

The only thing that stopped Kurt was the enraged roar from Adam about how he should have never bothered coming to this ridiculous vacation before he stormed off toward the house. “Um… okay then…” Kurt mumbled. Finn was looked at Brody like he was about to murder the guy and Santana was ranting in Spanish at Dani about how much she hated everyone and everything especially that stupid British guy who had best guard his balls in his sleep.

“This week is so not going to go well,” Wes muttered while David nodded his agreement. And they were mostly right. It only took two more days for the first blood to be spilled. Adam had just been getting worse and worse, and once he'd actually tried to kick Kurt out of the shared bedroom and accused the countertenor of ‘stealing Sebastian' and ‘cheating on Blaine' with the aforementioned meerkat, Bas had had enough.

Everyone heard the yelling, and most had made it to the bedroom to witness Bas bitching the pompous man out before hauling back and punching him as hard as he could right in the nose. “Ow, fuck, shit, Blaine why didn't you remind me how much that fuckin' hurts?” he demanded as he shook out his aching fist and splattered blood over Blaine who was closest to him, making Kurt wrinkle his nose in disgust.

“You can find your own way home, Adam. And you can go find a hotel or something until then. Oh, and you might want to go to an urgent care to get that nose set…” Sebastian suggested before nodding to Puck, who was ready and waiting to physically throw Adam out of the house.

After that, things were a lot easier to deal with, but Finn and Brody were constantly going toe to toe and Rachel was not making things any better by openly flirting with both of them. Kurt tried to tell her about it, but she never listened, so it was inevitable that the last night would come to blows.

“Dammit, why can't we go a few days without bloodshed?” Nick whined as Brody and Finn both threw punches. Finn made solid contact in a similar way to Sebastian earlier that week, which had Brody's nose gushing, but the plastic boy didn't go down and instead managed to split Finn's lip before Puck tried to jump in and kick his ass. Blaine yelled about the injustice of two against one and how Puck was a fight club member so he knew better and then there was grumbling and mutters about rules and not talking and by the time the weirdness was over between the jock and the ex-Warbler, Brody and Finn had separated and both were being tended to, Brody by Rachel and Finn by Kurt.

The time until the vacation was officially over was just… awkward, to say the least. Puck and Finn took off earlier than anyone in the morning, despite usually being late risers, and Brittany and her boyfriend followed soon after when Santana kept eyeing the guy like she was about to go Lima Heights on his ass. Brody decided to take the passenger position since he was still recovering from the punch, and spent most of the ride passed out on pain meds, so Rachel put on showtunes and she and Kurt belted them out even as Bas and Blaine surrounded Kurt in the middle row of seats and kept tickling him to make him mess up.

Elliot and Eli just kind of got used to the group they called friends. It was… strange, to say the least, but they were starting to fit in. And if they happened to make out a little in that back seat when the others were distracted? Well, no one needed to know about that…

Kurt sighed into the phone and rested his head back in Sebastian's lap while Blaine kept working in the kitchen. “Seriously, Rach. You need to make up your mind. I don't know how else to tell you,” he said, rolling his eyes but settling a bit as Bas ran his fingers through Kurt's hair. “You can't have both and if you keep playing with them both this way you are going to have another fight on your hands! Finn doesn't like him at all, and to be perfectly honest neither do any of us, but you already knew that.”

Eyes narrowed, Kurt sighed again and rolled off the couch while Sebastian just looked curiously at him. “No, you cannot keep toying with my brother like this! Rachel Berry, you need to make up your mind and just tell one of them to move on. I don't really care which one you choose at this point. You just aren't allowed to keep hurting Finn!” He was clearly getting upset, enough so that Blaine came out of the kitchen with a bowl full of salad that he was tossing with some kind of homemade dressing.

“What's going on?” he whispered at Bas, who shrugged and just said ‘Rachel' like that explained it all. And it kind of did, really. There wasn't really a way to explain most interactions with one Rachel Berry…

Kurt hung up the phone a few moments later and Blaine motioned for them to get to the table for dinner. “So, did she listen or..?” he asked, serving up some salad on each of their plates.

Sebastian looked over at Kurt at the same time, and took a bite of food while waiting for an answer.

“Of course not. I mean, I might have gotten her to start thinking, but… I don't know. She's still going to mess around with Finn and that jerk for who knows how long. I just really hope my brother doesn't get hurt too badly by it all.” He shook his head, then dug into his own salad. “I can't protect him all the time, though. If he doesn't know by now that she's a manipulative bitch who can torture her best friends without even realizing it… well, I don't know that anyone can teach him that.”

The fact that Kurt was one of those friends who had been tortured by Rachel didn't escape Blaine and Sebastian's notice, but the boys didn't comment. “Well, if he needs someone to pick him up after dealing with her, we're well practiced by now,” Blaine said instead, grinning cheekily until Kurt smiled and laughed.

“Oh well. At least there's one less problematic significant other around here.” Sebastian had to agree with Kurt's assessment, and they all easily settled in for dinner, finding it pretty easy to slide right back into life as they knew it before the whole Adam fiasco.