“What do you want to hear first?” Kurt asked.

“How did you discover? You told me that you didn’t plan this, so I guess you didn’t use any private detective?” Blaine asked.

“No, of course.” Kurt snapped. “It was really simple. I just happened to walk by the coffee shop and from the window I saw you. I knew I couldn’t come straight to talk to you, because….well, I just didn’t think it was an option. So, I saw when you left from work and I followed you…”

“I maybe should watch my back more better from now on” Blaine mumbled.

“What?” Kurt asked.

“Nothing, nothing. continue, please” Blaine said.

“When I had discovered where you live, I just thought I leave a note behind and test if you would show up.” Kurt said.

“What if I wouldn’t come there?” Blaine asked.

“Then I perhaps would have to come to your work place and meet you there anyway” Kurt said.

“Why?” Blaine asked. “Why did you want to meet me when you saw me from that glass? Why didn’t you just keep walking? We didn’t break up on so friendly footing.”

“That’s the reason, I did contact” Kurt said and moved little bit closer from the sofa. “I wanted to try and make things better again. I don’t know, maybe I’m too late, but…there’s no way i throw this chance away now, when I found you.”

“You have three years time. Why didn’t you do anything then?” Blaine asked little roughly.

“I hoped that it wouldn’t come an issue” Kurt said and raised his hand and touched his own forehead. He had pain in his eyes. Even Blaine was a bit angry with him, he still did knew Kurt better than anyone. At least he want it to think like that. Blaine placed his hand on Kurt’s should and said…

“Did something happened?” Blaine asked. “I mean….after the break up?”

“Yes…” Kurt said. “Yes, something bad”

“We don’t have to talk about, if you….” Blaine started.

“Yes, I do” Kurt said. “You need to know this.”

“Okay….just..take your time” Blaine asked.

Kurt took few a deep breaths and then he raised his head and looked Blaine in the eyes.

“At first everything was fine. Everything seemed normal. I didn’t have any problems with life, but I felt alone even with my friends and I had a huge hole in my chest that couldn’t been replaced with anything or anyone.” Kurt said and started to have tears in his eyes.. “I’m sorry. I guess it’s still little difficult to talk about it. Actually I haven’t talked about this to anyone”

“It’s okay, it’s okay” Blaine said and placed his hands in to Kurts and squeezed little bit.

Kurt squeezed back and continued.

“I realized my life was living hell, almost literally. I tried to talk to my dad and Carole the best I could, but it wasn’t enough, so they put me in therapy. I went there for two years.” Kurt explained. “It helped, but it took a lot of my strength, that I been collecting back this last year.”

“You’ve been through a lot I see…” Blaine said.

“There was another reason too, why I contacted to you” Kurt admitted and took his hand on his lap.

Blaine didn’t say anything at all. He had been doing some thinking while Kurt was telling his story after them. There was no way he could deny, that he was still having some feelings for Kurt. That kind of love won’t just disappear in few years. Yes, he still loved Kurt, no matter what. He had to clear his throat and clear his mind.

“What would that be?” Blaine asked with calm voice.

“When I saw you from that window, everything was clear for a long time. I had to get a chance to talk to you, because….” Kurt said, but couldn’t look Blaine into eyes, because he was afraid that other boy would reject him. “Because I still….I still love you”

Blaine couldn’t say anything and he just stared that living rooms mat. Was this really happening? Was this all just a dream, from a hard work day and he was still sleeping in his bead without being able to stop this. His thoughts were interrupted by Kurt.

“Blaine, please. Say something…..you kind of freaking me out here”

“I’m freaking you out?” Blaine said standing up and walking to window. “You just said you still love me….I…I thought you hated me….”

“I know this feels really unreal, but…” Kurt said and followed him and standed behind him. “I never stopped loving you. The break up we had….maybe it was necessary at that moment, but….I really regret it still.”

Blaine couldn’t believe his ears. Tears were filling his eyes and when he turned to face Kurt, he saw shock in other boys eyes.

“I….” he started and swallowed. “I never stopped loving you either after the break up”

“You do?” Kurt asked. “How did you move on after that? How did you survived?”

“Yes, I do.” Blaine said weakly. “I didn’t have so easy time either after break up. It was nothing compared to you, but I wouldn’t said no to therapy either. I had to face this miserable things all by myself. I really didn’t have anyone to talk to, not even my parents, you know what they are like. And I haven’t date anyone seriosly after that, I didn’t have guts for that. I didn’t want to forget our memories. I thought time would heal it, but…it really doesn’t”

“I’m really sorry. I haven’t found anyone else either.” Kurt said and was quiet a little while, but continues. “But to be honest…..I don’t want anyone else, but you.” He looked the boy in front of him on the floor, who was crying and looking awful. “It’s only ever been you.”

“Kurt…” Blaine said and took his hands. “I…”

No matter how he tried to put his emotions to words, he couldn’t. There’s was no words good enough for this moment. He should have said how much he loved him, that he didn’t want him to leave him alone again and just spend rest of his life with him. Nothing else just didn’t matter, he just wanted Kurt back to his life. That he could say that Kurt is his again. But the words didn’t come from his mouth, no matter how hard he tried. Eventually Kurt said.

“I know, sweetie, but…” Kurt said.

“No but, please, not but…” Blaine pleaded.

“Hush.” Kurt said and put his finger on Blaine’s lips, so he would listen.

“Look at me, Blaine” Kurt said, but didn’t continue until Blaine’s eyes was directed to his. “I’m not going to say we aren’t going to make this work again, but we need some time to figure this all out and it’s going to need some hard work too”

“I’m willing to try anything” Blaine said.

“I know” Kurt said. “So am I…but not today. We need to get some sleep, it’s really late”

“You can sleep here, if you want.” Blaine suggested. “In a couch”

“If it’s not too much trouble, yes.” Kurt said.

“Of course not” Blaine said and stood up. “Wait a minute, I’ll get you a pillow and blanket”

Blaine wasn’t gone a long time. When he had everything ready, the moment was a little uncomfortable after every confession. It shouldn’t be like this, Blaine thought, it should be easy, but nothing was easy in this damn world.

“If you need anything, just ask” Blaine said.

“Okay, I will” Kurt said and kissed Blaine’s temple. “Good night….and thank you for letting me stay for a night”

“It’s no problem at all. Good night” Blaine said smiling and left to his bedroom.
—————————————————————————————————————
“What the hell?”

Blaine woke up in the middle of the night to the mix up of nightmares. He was all sweaty and in chills. Where this all came from? Oh, now he remembered. Kurt was back and since all the nightmares included him. He stand up and poured himself a glass of water from the night tables bottle.

He had to change all the covers too and also shirt, because those were all wet and disgusting. The he went back to bed, but he still was uncomfortable. He want it Kurt next to him so much. It was the loneliness that had wake him up, he thought. But there was no way, he was going to ask Kurt to come and sleep with him. Kurt would think he was acting like a kid, when he can’t even sleep alone in his own house.

He was too messed up to get sleep anymore. Clock was only 4. am. so he had to still stay in bed. The only thing he could think was Kurt and future. What he would do, to not lose him again? Answer was anything, obviously. Eventually Blaine fell a sleep again, but not so deep however.

In the mean time, Kurt was struggling with almost same problems as Blaine. He didn’t have nightmares, but he had been awake for 2 hours already and now he already started to get frustrated. He usually slept very well, no matter where he was. But now somehow, when he was here in Blaine’s house, the amnesia was there. He stood up and walked behind Blaine’s room door. I shouldn’t do this, he thought, but like I have any other choice’s, if he doesn’t answer, I just let it be like that. He knocked the door, three times.

“Yeah..:” called sleepy voice from behind it.

Kurt took a deep breath and got in.

“I’m sorry to wake up like this, Blaine” Kurt said.

“I wasn’t sleeping. What woke you up?” Blaine asked.

“I had been awake for two hours and I guess I just slept one.” Kurt answered and sat on the corner of the bed. “Usually I sleep well every where ever I am, but…now I just can’t get my brains to shut up”

“I’m sorry hear about that” Blaine said.

“I don’t know, if it’s appropriate thing to ask, but….” Kurt started.

“You can ask anything, you know it’s me” Blaine said.

“Yeah…I just…can I sleep with you tonight. I was thinking it might help” Kurt said.

“Sure….C’mere” Blaine said and patted the side beside him.

Kurt climbed to the bed and under the covers. They were quiet for a while, but they still couldn’t sleep. Kurt crawled a bit closer.

“Is this okay?” Kurt asked.

“Yes, it’s okay” Blaine said and turned around, so he was face to face to Kurt.

“Reminds me of old times” Kurt said and laughed a bit. “Maybe now I can sleep better.”

“Let’s hope so” Blaine said smiling and placed his hand behind Kurts back brushing it gently.

“Oh, how I love when you do that” Kurt said with eyes closed.

“I’m glad.” Blaine said. “Let’s try to get some sleep, morning is really close already”

Kurt didn’t answer anything, because he had finally fell asleep. Blaine pulled him little closer and let himself to sleep as well.

End of chapter 3.