Chapter 8


"Kurt what are these?" Blaine said taking his wrist. 

"Don't do that." Kurt said rolling his eyes. 

"Do what?"

"Look at me like that."

"Kurt-"

"I'm fine."

"You're not fine!" Blaine nearly shouted, losing his temper for the first time. He couldn't help it. He felt so goddamn useless, and he knew Kurt was in a strong denial. "You didn't have these yesterday." Blaine said tracing his finger down his new cuts.

"I don't care anymore!" Kurt yelled. "I don't care! I-I'm too weak." Kurt's voice cracked on the last word. "I c-cant do it anymore. What's the big deal anyway if I take care if them? It's just a cut."

"What's the big deal?" Blaine asked with a dry chuckle. "It's not just a cut. it's 70 cuts now. Kurt, you are obviously not happy doing this. Cutting is serious shit. And you should care. You should care about yourself."

"Well I don't."

Blaine stared at him for a long time before getting his phone. This needed to stop weather or not Kurt wanted it to or not. Even if that meant he would have to go against his promise...

"Who are you calling?" Kurt asked. 

"Your dad."

"No Blaine!"

"YES!" He shouted. "This needs to stop!" Blaine began to cry. "I can't stand seeing you like this. It literally hurts me. When you cut it's almost like I can feel it too."

"Stop!" Kurt said trying to take the phone. He reached so far spreading every finger on his hand. "Please I'll stop!"

"Mr. Hummel can we hang out next week?...Um me and Kurt....great! See you then." Blaine hung up and held his boyfriend. Kurt tried to push away but, Blaine was too strong. 

Figures since he was so weak. "How could you Blaine?!" He sobbed.

"I'm so sorry, honey but...look honey, this will all work out." Blaine assured him, reaching out a hand."

"I...I can't trust anyone!" 

"Yes you can. Now after your dad knows, we can all solve the problem." Blaine told him, but Kurt still cried.

"I can't believe you...you're ridiculous! I hate you. I hate you and your stupid gelled hair, and your stupid triangle eyebrows!" Kurt shouted angrily, but was only further embarrassed when Blaine laughed.

"Get out. Get out now." Kurt yelled, and turned away.

"You couldn't make me leave if you tried. I'm here for you and you only. I love you. I love all of you, and that includes your flaws. But...but this one could kill you. And I can't have you dying on me Kurt. That...god..." Blaine began to cry. "You can't leave me. You just can't."

"I'm not..." Kurt sighed. "I'm not leaving you. You just...why do we have to tell him? And don't give me that I had too BS. Kurt said, holding back a sob.

"I...god I'm so sorry. I just wanna help you, and I hate that I feel so useless. I just...maybe he can help too. I just wanna see you happy, Kurt." Blaine admitted, and literally fell to his knees. "I'm so sorry."

Kurt knelt down beside Blaine. "No...no, I'm sorry. This...I mean I guess it's my fault in the first place. I just...it's an addiction. I really can't go without it...it's like...it..." Kurt couldn't finish, as he put his head on Blaine's shoulder.

The other boy enveloped him in his strong arms, instant comfort coming along with it.

"Talk to me about it. Obviously just keeping it inside isn't helping." Blaine said, pulling up Kurt's sleeve to reveal the finger nail scratches that were there due to his subconscious need to tear into his skin.

"I...why?"

"Because I'm desperate to help you, and I'll be damned if you hurt yourself again. Just tell me what it feels like. What...what you crave." Blaine further explained, running his fingers lightly over the cuts, them stinging and pulsing as he did.

"I...it's sharp...and it kind of burns. It's like a good paper cut. And it's...it's kind of beautiful...and the blood goes in little beads...and I guess it's like a gorgeous way of destroying myself." Kurt admitted with a struggle, feeling Blaine hold him tighter to his chest, Kurt's coifed hair finding a home in the crook of the other boy's neck.

"Good. See now that I know, we can work together. We understand each other better." His boyfriend muttered.  "I just feel so useless."

Kurt looked appalled. "Your not!"

"Obviously that's not true." Blaine told him, and once again ran his fingers over the red slices.

"Obviously it is true. Honey...two minutes ago I wanted to cut so deep I'd drown in my own blood. But now...I don't know. Maybe I can stop. It'll be hard, and it scares the shit out of me to think about it but...maybe I can stop." Kurt said, feeling a little better.  "And as much as I hate it, telling my dad sounds like a good idea."

"See? There's the guy I fell in love with. We're gonna be just fine." Blaine told him, his brown eyes moist.

Kurt couldn't help it as he pulled him into the tightest hug he'd ever given. Both their shirts became wet with tears as Kurt broke down for the millionth time that day.

"I'm so scared to tell my dad." He admitted, barely even a whisper.

Blaine said nothing, but instead hugged him tighter, pressing kisses to his neck.