Chapter 23


"...Candy?"

"Um...never mind." She said heading down the hallway. Come on Candy, your a bad ass! Don't let little ol' princess  intimidate you. She looked back but, continued down the hall into her room. 

"Well, That was weird." Kurt mumbled as he headed back in his room. He sat on his bed picking up his laptop once more. Kurt couldn't help but to get a little agitated. Blaine said he would Skype him but his computer said he was offline...

Kurt knew this would happen. Yes, he knew Blaine had a life and yes, he knew Blaine was busy but it's so damn frustrating when he gets to have a life and Kurt had to stay here cooped up in some rehab facility in Colorado. 

Blaine deserved better then him. He wouldn't be surprised if Blaine moved on. He didn't even want to think about that though. Without Blaine, he was nothing. He didn't even know why Blaine wanted to be with someone so weak and needy.

Kurt angrily slammed his laptop shut. He held his knees backing into the head board as he sobbed. He furiously whipped his eyes as tears continued to fall. 

Kurt was full of rage. He started to breathe in rapid and short breaths. In and out. In and out. His fast and shallow breaths had taken over his regular breathing. Kurt tried to clam himself, he was looking around the room, the sound of the running water helped. He spotted the photo of him and Blaine kissing in the photo booth. Nothing was working, he was still breathing rapidly. Kurt closed his eyes….

........"Um excuse me! Um hi, I'm knew here."

"Blaine." The curly haired boy said holding out his hand. 

"Kurt.".......

Kurt opened his eyes. He ran over to the photo and held it in his now trembling hands. Kurt tried to calm down thinking of the memory but it didn't help. His anxiety was taking over him. 

Kurt squeezed the picture of his them in his hands; with each breath he gripped the photograph tighter and tighter. The beautiful and meaningful picture began to burn in Kurt's arms; the smiling faces began to mock him.

The grief and rage began to consume Kurt. He was faced with the guilt of causing all this. He and Blaine would be doing so good if it wasn't for him. "Damn it." Kurt threw the photo across the room and into the bathroom where it smashed, luckily or unlikely for him the sound was drowned out by the running water. "Damn it." He cried again.

Kurt then noticed the neatly arranged bed. In a rage, he began to throw the pillows across the room. He grabbed the quilt off the top of the bed and he ripped it away from and threw it across the room. "Damn it." He cried as he ripped the sheet off the bed. He tore the fitted sheet away from the mattress. Kurt kicked the side of the bed as his rage turned into sorrow. He began to sob as he threw the last of the cushions off the bed. "Fuck!" He sobbed, bury his face in his hands.

Kurt was in hysterics as he walked into the bathroom. Kurt opened the door of the cabinet in his bathroom and began to throw the various moisturizes and lotions out of the cabinet and on to the floor. He threw the soap against the wall, he threw the hair brush into his room and then he threw toothbrushes and their holder onto the floor. The different bottles of cologne and the toothbrush holder all began to smash and clatter against the tiles.

Kurt went to walk out of the bathroom when he stood on a piece of glass which sliced open part of his foot. "Damn it!" Kurt yelled as he limped back into the bedroom. He sat on the bed and picked the chunk of glass out of his foot and threw it across the room.

It didn't feel good as it use to. It hurt...Bad. Kurt grabbed his foot sniffling as he tried to pull the little glass out with a tweezer he found on the cold ties.

.........."Kurt...you...Kurt, no." Blaine uttered, falling to his knees. His eyes welled up, pain distorting his face. 

"I h-have to." 

Blaine reached out to take the razor, and Kurt backed himself against the wall, putting his hand as far away as he could. 

"Honey, you need to give it to me. I'm sorry, but you need to." Blaine said, sniffing. 

"No...No I need it!"...........

Kurt flinched at the flashback. How could anyone need this? It hurt like hell. Wow, what was he thinking?

Kurt winced as the pulled out the last little glass sliver. He gradually stood up looking at the mess he made and blushed. 

He began picking up the lotions and moisturizers, placing them back in the tray. He walked out into his room stretching the sheets over his bed placing the pillows and comforter back to the way it was.

He slumped back into the bathroom picking up the last of hygienic products when he stumbled across the photo. 

His lower lip began to tremble as he kissed it. "Courage." He whispered. Boy, he sure needed it. He looked down at his ring. "Two more months Hummel, you can do this. Do it for Blaine."