Chapter 1

It's been exactly one and a half months and three days twelve hours and thirty seconds since they broke up...They haven't talked since. Yes Blaine Miserably counted. How could he not? This damn class couldn't have gone by any slower. 

He slowly slumped out of his seat headed to next period, Math. He put on a smile for Mr Shue and his friends but, he was a walking zombie. He just felt like sleeping all the time which was probably not healthy or normal but, he deserved it. 

He would have to face him at the wedding and honestly he had no idea how because seeing even a picture of Kurt made him burst into tears. He was doomed. His heart physically hurt. You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back. Don't get him wrong he knew how special Kurt was and how grateful that he found him but, nothing could prepare him for this. Not seeing him everyday to give him a kiss before next block or cleverly sneaking a "I love you" note in his lunch when he wasn't looking was complete agony. And it was his fault. All of it. 

That night would haunt him forever..............................................................................

Blaine nervously sat down on the springy bed. He was so anxious, guilty, and scared at the same time he didn't know what emotion to present. 

Eli took off his shirt revealing his, of course, six pack and threw it on the floor. He then went over to his radio putting on some cheesy make out song that Kurt would gaged if he heard it. He had to admit it was pretty bad. 

"Kay sexy, Lets get this thing started because daddy's on a schedule." 

Blaine jumped when Eli touched his shoulders and came closer and closer and closer and finally collided lips. Blaine hated himself. How could he do that?! He didn't even try to stop it! He fell against the pillows tasting every bit of Eli's mouth. 

"mmmm" Eli moaned and he ruffly rolled over.

Blaine flinched. It was so weird hearing moans from someone who wasn't Kurt. It was so wrong. He pushed Eli off whipping whatever germs were on his lips. Frankly, he wasn't sure how many people have kissed them and he didn't want to. He sat up on the bed catching his breath before anything else.

"Hey, get over here!" Eli giggled. "I was enjoying that."

"I'm sorry, I can't do this." Blaine said as tears of shame filled his eyes. How could he have done that. Who was he becoming? He couldn't even look at himself anymore.

"What? Is it because I don't look like my profile picture?"

"I need to go." Blaine grabbed his bag and ran out the door. It felt so incredibly wrong having someone panting and moaning all over him that wasn't Kurt. Kurt was so gentle and loving and Eli was so ruff that he thought he would have bruises the next day...

He would regret it for the rest of his life............................