June 28, 2013, 11:51 a.m.
Questions, Life and Family Bonds: 8: Wild Horses
E - Words: 1,098 - Last Updated: Jun 28, 2013 Story: In Progress - Chapters: 17/? - Created: Sep 02, 2012 - Updated: Jun 28, 2013 1,128 0 5 0 0
That day Kurt went home to his dad's with Blaine and curled up in his bed and cried. Blaine lay with him, not leaving him apart from to go to the toilet. He hated how his fiancé looked so broken. He knew he had every right to do so, but he hated that he could do nothing about it.
"I know this is so hard for you, Kurt. If I could do anything to take all this pain away I would," Blaine said gently, running his hand down Kurt's face to wipe away the tears as they fell. They were lying on their sides, Kurt's back up against Blaine's chest. Blaine had his arms tightly around his fiancé. All Kurt could do was cry and look at the picture of his son that was in his hands. He hadn't spoken a word since he arrived home. Blaine wasn't going to push him to do so, so he just kept speaking comforting words to him.
"None of this is your fault. I know it doesn't seem like it right now but we are going to get through this, you know. I’m going to help you. I’ll do anything it takes to see you smile again. But don't take that as me saying you don't have a right to be sad and grieve, because you do. I’ll hold you whenever you want me to, no matter what time of day. I’ll sit here and wipe away your tears and hold you so you feel safe. I’m not letting you go Kurt." It was almost midnight and Blaine was exhausted so he could only imagine how Kurt was feeling. He knew his fiancé needed to sleep so he decided to try something else.
"Do you want me to sing to you, sweetie? See if it will help you fall asleep. Don't worry even when you fall asleep I'll be staying right here." Kurt just nodded. Blaine didn't even need to think about which song to sing.
I feel these four walls closing in
My face up against the glass
I'm looking out... hmm
Is this my life I'm wondering
It happened so fast
How do I turn this thing around
Is this the bed I chose to make
Its greener pastures I'm thinking about hmm
Wide open spaces far away
Blaine knew that Kurt really would feel like he was being trapped by all this information. And it was really true his life have been turned upside-down so fast.
All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but, not feel scared
Blaine knew Kurt was scared. Scared of what the future held for him, scared of the way people would react, scared of the decisions he needed to make.
Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing to
Run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses!
Oh yeah yea
Blaine knows the only way Kurt was going to have any chance of feeling free right now would be in his sleep and he wanted him to go there.
I see the girl I wanna be
Riding bare back, care free along the shore
If only that someone was me
Jumping head first headlong without a thought
To act and damn the consequence
How I wish it could be that easy
But fear surrounds me like a fence
I wanna break free
He knew Kurt wanted to break free. But how could you break free from the information you had been raped. And even worse you had a child you never knew about.
All I want is the wind in my hair
To face the fear but, not feel scared
Hoohhhwoahwoah
Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses!
Oh yeah yea
I wanna run too.
Hohhhwoah oh woah oh
Recklessly abandoning myself before you
I wanna open up my heart tell him how I feel
In a way Blaine also felt blessed. He felt blessed that Kurt had allowed him to comfort him. Even in his darkest moments Kurt wasn't shutting him out.
[Chorus:]
Wild horses I wanna be like you
Throwing caution to the wind
I'll run free too
Wish I could recklessly love, like I'm longing to
I wanna run with the wild horses, run with the wild horses! [X2]
Hooaahwoah oh woah
Yeah
I wanna run with the wild horses
As Blaine finished the song he felt Kurt's breathing level out. That meant Kurt wasn't crying and he had fallen asleep. Blaine tightened his grip around Kurt even more, and then buried his nose into Kurt's hair, breathing in that all familiar scent. It was only then, with the knowledge at that moment in time his boy was safe in his arms did he allow himself to cry.
He cried because the world sucked. He didn't understand how the world could be so cruel to deal one person so much crap in life. Blaine cried for Kurt's late mother, who was no longer here to comfort her son at a time like this, when a motherly touch could have meant so much. He cried for fact that at seventeen Kurt almost became an orphan. He cried for the fact that Kurt had spent his entire middle school and half of his high school life being bullied by closeted Neanderthals. He cried about the fact that even those closest to him had been unable to and unwilling to do anything about it. He cried out all of his fears about the news he had just found out.
The love of his life had been raped at just nineteen years old. Why hadn't he stayed that night and just left super early for work in the morning? He cried because of the fact Kurt thought because of something so far out of his control he wouldn't love him anymore. He cried because he couldn't imagine what it must feel like finding out you have a three year old son you never knew existed, let alone ever seen. He knew he would do anything to take this pain away from his man, and he cried all the harder knowing he couldn't. He couldn't take away what had happened. He could only be here to support Kurt. He didn't care how long it took, in the end he was going to get his happy Kurt back. All the crying was taking its toll on Blaine and he felt his eyes start to droop.
"I love you Kurt," was the last thing he said before letting sleep take over.
Comments
This was a really good chapter and maybe my favorite so far. I love that Blaine stayed with Kurt as he cried and did everything that he could think of to make him feel a little better. It was so sad to see Blaine breakdown and feel so helpless but at the same time it was really great to see him vow that he would see Kurt smile again. I can't wait to see what happens next. I hope you and your daughter are feeling better. Being ill sucks.
Thank you for your kind review, I have to say this was one of my favorite chapters to write, along with Chapter 16 but obviosly it will be a while until that is betad and up online.Yes my daughter seems to back on the mend which is what is important to me, and I am as well, thank you
Hope you are feeling better soon! Looking forward to more ;)
Thank you
Woww poor Blaine I just want to hug them both, Blaine beign strong for him but breaking down while he is asleep killed me,