They decided that they would stay in Lima for another week or so before heading back to New York. Burt had spoken to Blaine's college and Kurt's boss, informing them in part of the situation, however being mindful that it was still a very private matter that the boys did not want getting out.

Kurt was still very confused. In a way he just wished that he could remember what has happened the night in question. He was now had pretty much no doubt that Alaxander was his. He had even pulled out the photo albums containing all the pictures from when he was younger and Alaxander looked almost his spitting image. However that didn't mean that he could remember how it all happened. For Kurt not knowing made it worse, to others it may sound strange and he knew it, but he needed to be able to remember to be able to get over what had happened to him. When everything had happened with Karofsky in high school, he used the knowledge of what had happened and why to help him deal with it, however with this he had nothing. The only information he had to go on was what Sergeant Black told him had happen. It wasn’t until a few days before they were due to go home Kurt realised what he needed to do, however he needed to talk to Blaine about it first.

Kurt decided that it wasn’t the kind of conversation he wanted to be having in house, for a few reasons really, one he wasn’t sure how Blaine was going to react to the whole situation, and two he didn’t want anyone else knowing until he was sure he was going through with it. So instead he decided to take Blaine out for dinner to allow them to talk without worrying about anyone else listening. Once they had ordered their food, Kurt decided there was no point putting it off any longer, after all if it went okay once the topic had been covered the could enjoy the rest of the night properly.

"I need to go and see her and him too probably,” Kurt knew it hadn’t come out right, but he couldn’t bring himself to say anything else.

"Her?" Blaine asked confused.

"Yes, Sarah, I need to see her," Kurt stated simply and his voice was void of emotion as it always was when he spoke about her.

"You what, you can't be serious.” After seeing the look on Blaine’s face Kurt just wanted to stop, Blaine looked like he’d just been slapped and that wasn’t the point of all of this, it was about trying to find something they were both happy with.

"Right before you go off on one please just let me explain," Kurt said gently taking hold of Blaine's hands over the table, Blaine gave a quick nod, so Kurt continued." I need to see her; I know it sounds crazy but at the moment it seems like the only way."

"The only way for what exactly?" Blaine questioned, and Kurt was glad he had gone back to his more gentle and caring tone.

"I see it as the only way for me to start getting over all what happened to me. Do you remember when everything happened with Karofsky back in my junior year?"

Blaine nodded, squeezing Kurt’s hand. Kurt knew why even now Karofsky wasn’t something they brought often in terms of the hell he’d put him through. “Yes only too well," Blaine sighed.

"Well when I came to you we talked about it. I explained what had happened to you, and we talked through it all bit by bit. That is how I came to get over what he did to me. However all I know about this situation with Sarah is that she drugged me, we had sex and I have a son. I don't know anything more. How can I begin to work through it when that is all I know? I know this is hard for you to understand but I need to know what happened to me to begin to work through it. I don’t want it to be hanging over me for the rest of my life, which means I need to deal with it fully." Kurt knew it would sound crazy to anyone, let alone Blaine, but it's what he needed. He knew he needed to see her; however he would not go without Blaine at least having knowledge of him doing so, even if he didn’t agree with him.

"I will be honest with you Kurt, no I don't really understand. However I can partially see where you are coming from due to the Karofsky reference so if you asked me to get my permission I am happy with you doing anything you need." This filled Kurt with both relief and fear. While he was glad Blaine was willing to trust what he needed, it meant he definitely would see Sarah. He wasn't stupid enough to think that that wouldn't involve opening himself up to a lot of pain. However he knew it was what was needed. Kurt was so immersed in thoughts he only just managed to catch what Blaine said next.

"You also said maybe him; I'm guessing you mean Alaxander, why?" And this time it wasn’t accusatory it was simply interest in Blaine’s voice. It made Kurt so glad to have someone like Blaine that was willing to work though even all of this horrible stuff with him. 

"He's my son Blaine. At the moment all I know is that Sarah wants me to take custody of him. However I will do nothing because she wants me to. I need to make whatever decision I make because I want to make it, because we want to make it, because at the end of the day this doesn’t just affect me, Blaine. I want to go back to New York and imagine what it would be like with and without Alaxander.” Kurt looked up at Blaine to see if he seemed to be following, and when their eyes met he smiled offering Kurt the reassurance to go on. “However I don't believe I can do that properly never seeing him. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Blaine nodded, “Yes…Yes I think I do. Can I ask are you going to tell him who you are?”

“Oh no…No I don’t think so, I mean unless he already knows. I just think seeing Alaxander in person, learning a bit more about his personality and things will help me better to imagine him there in New York with us. As I said, the decision doesn’t just affect me, and I’m hoping you’re going to be willing to help me with the decision, I mean right now you are my life, so the dynamics of our relationship would change by bringing a child into the equation, and that can’t happen if either one of us isn’t ready.” Kurt hoped that Blaine at least partially understood what he was doing. He was trying to think off all this from Blaine’s side as well, and he can’t imagine how hard it is to know your fiancé has gone through all of this but being powerless in some ways to help. He knows that’s why he needs to see both of them, so that he can allow Blaine to help by talking about things much more.  He was so frustrated that he couldn’t get all that into the correct words that the tears built up in his eyes; however he tried to keep them at bay as Blaine started speaking.

"I think I understand Kurt,” and Kurt knows that tone of voice, the protective fiancé voice that at times he still can’t get used to. “I just don't want you getting any more hurt than you already are. You mean so much to me.” Kurt closed his eyes and allowed Blaine’s words to wash over him, as his hand was lifted towards Blaine’s mouth and kissed softly, as simple sign of affection, he’s grown accusation to using when Blaine is struggling to put things into words. “I know I've told you so many times, but I don't want you to think that this is going to stop me loving you. I know I will never fully be able to understand as I am not going through it in the same way you are, however I want to be able to support you in any way I can. If you think that means going to see both of them so be it. No matter what happened I will be here if you need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on afterwards. Whilst I wish this wasn't happening I am not going to step in the way of you seeing your son."

Kurt could help but let the tears, which had continued to build up in his eyes while Blaine had been speaking, spill over. What Blaine had said had hit so many chords and he just had to let the emotion out.

"Kurt what's wrong? Why are you crying?" Blaine rushes out, worry lacing his words.

"I…I'm just so glad I have you Blaine. I know this can't be easy for you, yet you're still so amazing," Kurt says trying to get control of his voice over the tears.

"Oh Kurt," Blaine is soon sat directly next to Kurt isn’t of opposed him. “Come here,” He says opening his arms to Kurt, and Kurt doesn’t need telling twice he almost dives towards Blaine burying his face into Blaine’s chest. Once again his fiancé is being way too good for him to ever deserve, but it’s exactly what Kurt needs. Blaine is his home, and no matter how bad things are wrapped up in Blaine arms he feels safe. “ I love you,” he whispers into Blaine chest, because no other words would work better right now.

"I love you too, so much Kurt." Kurt feels Blaine press a kiss into the top of his head before he slowly sits up.

"Thank you so much Blaine. I have to ask though would you mind driving me if I could sort out going to see Sarah tomorrow? I know it's going to be a rough one, and I have a feeling when I am finished I'm just going to want to curl up in your arms.” Kurt doesn’t know why he’s worried for the response, maybe the way Blaine reacted to start with, all he knows is that after he’s been with Sarah he won’t want to be alone.

"Of course I'll drive you Kurt. I will always be here for you, never forget that." Kurt can hear the truth in his voice and he can’t help but allow himself to smile a little. He feels so much better. He feels like such a weight how been lifted off his shoulders, however before this conversation he hadn’t even realised how much it was all weighing him down. He knows he’s still got such a long way to go but he knows he has Blaine by his side every step of the way, and as far as Kurt’s concerned that all he could ask for.