Ella was small, with dark brown hair and sharp green were few things she missed, and even less if they where Kurt related.

"Whoa you look miserable for someone who is about to go see his family," She told him bluntly while Kurt set his suitcase by the front door. "I mean I know how you feel about Lima but .. "

"Blaine called" he said awkwardly

"Oh"

If it weren�t for all the stupid panic he was feeling, Ella�s face would have been hilarious

"What did he want?"

Kurt bushed deeply at this.

"I see" she told him smiling

"No, you don't "Kurt started to panic "He gave me an ultimatum E"

"What kind of ultimatum?"

"You know what kind of ultimatum Ella, don't laugh at this is not funny"

"I disagree" she was just smiling deeply now " I mean Kurt Hummel, THE Kurt Hummel, diva extraordinaire that almost killed a model for ripping one of his clothes is scared shitless of a man that wants to give him the fuck of his life, you have to admit that is pretty funny"

Yeah so funny he wanted to punch her in the face

"It�s not just a man Ella, it�s Blaine" he told her sadly.

"Kurt, baby" she sighed, taking his hands sweetly "you knew this was coming, he is crazy about you I think everyone knows that by now. Blaine makes that pretty clear every time he rips your clothes off with his eyes, I mean seriously Kurt our Christmas dinners are rated R ever since Rachel married Finn and let's not forget about the kinky flowers"

Kurt laughed at this he couldn't help it, he knew what she meant, Blaine had send him flowers every month after their first kiss, long stemmed red roses with very x-rated cards.

God bless Elle for making him laugh over this weird situation.

"But honestly Kurt, how are you feeling?"

Shit she had her doctor face now, and Kurt knew that even if he lied to himself there was no lying to her.

"I�m freaking out E .. "

He was shaking now and walking slowly to sit on the couch; Ella came to him touching his face carefully

"Kurt baby you know I love you but you are an idiot"

Kurt gave her his best bitch face

"and don't look at me like that you know that face doesn't work on me, now what the fuck are you are scared of, we've talked about this over way to many margaritas. So what if he likes kinky sex, with all you've told me so do you, be a man and get over it, after what Sebastian did I know it's hard for you to trust anyone; but is Blaine we are talking about here. Yes he is a cocky asshole but he is crazy about you and he is amazingly kind with the people he loves, I mean have you seen him with Rachel?"

"Ella he doesn't love me, he just wants to fuck me" he told her sadly at the same time her beeper started to sound

"Shit I have to get back to the hospital"

Ella kissed his cheek sweetly

"I love you Kurt and because of that I don't want you to regret not giving him a chance".

She hugged him tightly while stroking his hair

"Don't be afraid to live boo, you are so dam careful that you are missing out in life, now go, Rachel will flip if you miss your flight and I really don't want to hear her scream in my ear for hours, and please call me if anything happens ok"

Kurt watched her go, while he waited for his cab leaving him alone with the realization that he would probably see Blaine in a couple of hours.

Alone with the memories of all the promises Blaine made him just hours ago while Kurt was coming hard against his fingers just by the sound of his voice.

He was still trembling when he pulled into the large circular driveway of his brother's house.

The flight from New York wasn't a hard one, but his nervousness left him feeling exhausted.

He definitely wasn't up to facing Blaine. His face flushed at the thought.

Kurt had tried not to think about the phone call that morning, or the core of heat it had left lingering inside him.

It had nearly been enough to have him turning around several times before reaching the airport and heading back to his safe, comfortable life.

But every time he was about to do it, Ella�s words kept stopping him.

Kurt didn't want to grow old, knowing he had passed up the exciting things in life, didn't want to ache all his life for the one thing he needed the most and passed up.

But if he were to be honest with himself, he wasn't really scared of the sensual promises Blaine made, he just didn't want his heart broken.

And Kurt had the feeling Blaine would break his heart.

He just wanted him too badly.

This realization had come to him in the past months. Because the dreams were driving him crazy.

Dreams of Blaine; tying him to his bed, teasing him, touching him, dreams of his dark voice whispering his desires in Kurt�s ear.

He was waking up more and more often with his dick hard and leaking, his breathing ragged, and Blaine�s name on his lips.

Kurt had known Blaine was bad news even before Finn married his sister, making him a permanent fixture in his life.

Back in high school he and Rachel had been best friends and while he got to meet Blaine and managed to develop a crush on him it was never something important.

Yes, Blaine was hot back then but Kurt had too many problems to add a broken heart into the mix and as he only came home for the holidays, they almost never got to see each other.

And soon his crush was forgotten and Blaine became a background character in Kurt's life.

All was good until Rachel and Finn�s wedding four years ago.

It was that occasion that brought them together once again, and this time it was for more than fleeting moments. They where after all the best man and the maid of honor.

In those two weeks prior to the wedding Kurt developed a huge amount of sexual desire and raging hatred towards Blaine.

He was just too much …

Wickedly sexy, sinfully sensuous and incredibly annoying, they had fought constantly ever since, yelling at each other and making sarcastic comments but never crossing the line.

Until that day on Rachel�s study when the sexual tension had been just too much to bear.

Kurt got out of his rented car leaving his keys in the ignition for the butler to park it.

Night was already rolling in, and fuck it he would not let Blaine Anderson ruin this week for him, he would go into that house and share a good time with his family and if Blaine wanted to play games so be it, Kurt Hummel had enough, and he was tired of running away.

"Good evening, Mister Kurt."

The butler, a large, burly ex-bouncer opened the door for him as he stepped up to it. After so many years of fighting Thomas to call him by his name, Kurt had given up, so it was Mister Kurt for him no matter what Kurt said to Thomas to try and change his mind.

He was well over fifty, but he didn't look a day over thirty-five, was very tall, heavily muscled and sported a crooked nose and several small scars on his broad face.

He was Irish and his thick, brown hair was in a crew cut, his large face creased with a smile.

"Good evening, Thomas. Are they inside?"

Kurt was feeling more uncomfortable than he had thought he would be.

"Your parents and Mister and Mrs. Hudson are out for the evening, Sir," Thomas told him as he stepped into the house.

"Will you be staying for a while?"

"Yes." he took a deep breath. "My luggage is outside. Is my room still available?"

There was an edge of pain as he asked the question. He had heard that Rachel had opened his room for guests, rather than keeping it up for Kurt's infrequent returns.

"I'm sorry, Mister Kurt," Thomas said softly.

"The room is being redecorated. But the turret room is available. I prepared it myself this morning."

The turret room was the furthest away from the guest or family bedrooms.

At the back of the house, on the third floor.

The turret had been added decades ago by Rachel�s grandfather, she and Kurt had love it as teenagers and used to go there every time they needed a private place to talk.

Now he resented the fact that it was not a family room, but the one he knew Rachel used for those visitors she could barely tolerate.

Evidently, Kurt thought, Rachel still didn't forgive him for missing last year holidays.

Kurt breathed in deeply.

Those weren't tears clogging his throat, he assured himself.

His chest was tight from exhaustion, not pain.

"Fine." he swallowed tightly.

"Could you have my luggage brought up? I need a shower and some sleep. I'll see everyone in the morning."

"Of course, Mister Kurt."

Thomas' voice was gentle. He had been with the family for as long as he could remember and Kurt knew he wasn't hiding his pain from him.

He moved quickly down the hall, turning toward the kitchen then entering the staircase to the right.

The staircase led to one place.

The turret room.

It was a beautiful room. Rounded and spacious, the furniture had been made to fit the room exactly. The bed was large with a heavy, rounded walnut headboard that sat perfectly against the wall. Heavy matching drawers slid into the stone wall for a dresser, with a mantle above it to the side of the bed.

Across the room was a small fireplace, the wood was gas logs, but it was pretty enough.

He felt like Cinderella before the Prince rescued her.

Kurt sat down heavily on the quilt that covered the bed.

This sucked.

He should get back in his car and get the first ticket back home where he belonged.

He didn't belong here anymore, and was beginning to wonder if he was the only one to blame for this.

Taking a deep breath, he ran his hands through his hair and listened to Thomas coming up the stairs.

He stepped into the room with a friendly smile, but his brown eyes were somber as they met his.

"Will you be okay here, Mister Kurt?"

He asked him as he set the large suitcase and matching overnight bag on the luggage rack beside the door.

"I could quickly freshen another room."

"No. I'm fine, Thomas." he shook his head smiling sadly.

What was the point?

He had come back, mainly to find something that didn't exist. It was best he learn that now, before it went any further.

This had been his second home, Kurt had spent countless nights in this house talking to Rachel, singing … so much that her fathers had given him his own room, but now none of that matter, he had let aside his family because he was hiding form his own desires and this was the result.

Thomas nodded before going to the fireplace. With practiced moves he lit the gas fire, then pulled back and nodded in satisfaction at the even heat coming off the ceramic logs.

"Would you like me to announce dinner for you, Mister Kurt?" he asked.

He shook his head, he wasn't really hungry. He felt sick.

What hurt the most was his father�s absence. He had known Kurt was coming, and yet wasn't here.

It was the first time he had ever left, while knowing Kurt was coming home.