Sept. 24, 2012, 10:25 a.m.
Someone Else's Diary: Sebastian
M - Words: 1,194 - Last Updated: Sep 24, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 8/? - Created: Jul 04, 2012 - Updated: Sep 24, 2012 387 0 1 0 0
Monday
9:37 pm
Do you ever get that feeling that even though life seems to be spiralling out of control, there's always something to hope for?
I never used to. Not until today.
His name is Austen Tyler. He's just moved here from Canada. He's got green eyes, sandy-blonde hair and the most gorgeous smile I have ever seen in my life.
I'm in love.
Not only did he audition for Glee club (singing an amazing version of Britney's 'Everytime' that made me cry like a little girl) he also told me over lunch in the cafeteria that he had just split up with his boyfriend (BOYFRIEND) and asked me if there was any kind of PFLAG thing at McKinley. I snorted into my milk carton at the thought. Thinking about it now, that was probably not the most attractive thing on Earth. He laughed anyway. I think that's a good thing.
I know I should play it cool and wait things out before I rush in head-first, but I need to know if I even stand a chance. I would honestly give anything to be his anything.
And to be honest, when is the next time I'm going to meet another out gay guy in Lima of all places?
This has to work.
I just checked the time and I better sleep now. I hope I dream of him tonight.
Until next time
- Kurt
I both loved and hated reading those entries. I loved that the entries from this point on were happy and optimistic for the most part. He still had all the difficulties he used to have, but he was now in the fortunate position of having someone else to talk to – someone else who was going through the same things.
At the same time, I hated the fact that it wasn't me making him happy. I knew it was ridiculous because not only was this in the past, Kurt was ten years older than me. The chances of anything remotely romantic happening between us were very slim.
Still, I couldn't help the thrill that ran up my spine at the thought that I was actually going to get to meet him. It seemed almost too good to be true. Yet, the day was rapidly approaching and I was growing steadily more anxious.
What if I said something stupid that gave away the fact that I had been reading his diaries for all this time? It wouldn't be the first time. I was very prone to having foot-in-mouth disease. And while I wasn't expecting him to fall in love with me or anything, it would at least be nice if he liked me as a person.
On the afternoon Kurt was supposed to arrive, I was a complete wreck. The worst was that I couldn't explain to anyone why I was so uptight without explaining the diaries. So I tried to function as normally as I could while freaking out and thinking that I was going to die at any moment.
I worked in the shop that afternoon (well, honestly how could you expect me not to what with the chance of seeing Kurt?) and I could barely work. My hands were shaking too hard to be of any use to me and any sudden noise made me jump.
That was probably why when Finn announced he was going to go fetch Kurt at the airport, he squared me up and asked me "Are you okay, man?"
I lied, told him I was fine, said to enjoy his drive and tried hard not to freak out about the fact that the next time I saw him he would be with Kurt.
I tried to think about other things. Regionals were coming up soon and as the lead soloist of the Warblers, I had to think about how I was going to best the other competitors so that the Warblers made it to Nationals in New York. It was no use though. Every time I thought of New York I thought of Kurt which didn't help me at all.
After about an hour of trying to get my work done and completely failing, I threw down my grease-rag in frustration and leaned against the side of the car I was working on. I rested my head on my hands, trying desperately to clear my mind, knowing it wouldn't really work anyway. Kurt would be coming in any time now. I was going to see him in person and have to talk to him and use actual words in front of him...
I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't even hear the footsteps across the concrete workshop floor until a long pair of arms wrapped themselves around my torso. I almost screamed until the owner of the arms spoke.
"You make one delicious grease-monkey," he whispered into my ear and despite all my worries I couldn't help but smile a little. Sebastian had his moments of adorability sometimes.
Still, this was bad. Finn could walk in at any point; Kurt could walk in at any point. The last thing I wanted was for either of them to see me leaning against a car with a really good-looking, slightly uninhibited guy pressed against me from behind. I didn't care that they knew I had a boyfriend (okay maybe with Kurt I cared a little) but I didn't want them to think I was the kind of person who would use his professional time to pursue his personal issues.
"Sebastian, we can't do this here," I said, turning around to face him and finding our faces inches apart.
"Why not?" he asked with a wicked grin. "There's no one around. And you look so damn hot right now."
I tried not to fall for his compliment. Sebastian was really good at using words to get his own way.
"Bas, my boss could walk in at any moment," I said, feeling my resistance slipping. I often found my arguments faltered underneath Sebastian's persistence and this time he seemed to notice my weakness because I felt his searing lips make contact with my neck.
"We should use our time wisely then, shouldn't we?" said Sebastian pulling away from my neck with a slight smirk. He knew exactly what he was doing. Slowly he kissed along my jaw to the other side of my neck where he began sucking the skin slightly.
"Bas, I swear if you leave a mark –"
"Wouldn't dream of it," he grinned, pulling back my overalls slightly to suck on my collarbone. MY mind was so clouded with sensation that anyone could walk in without me noticing and I knew that what I was doing was inappropriate and that I needed to tell him to stop, but it just felt so good that I couldn't help but let out a small moan.
"Oh! Sorry, I didn't realise I was interrupting something," said an embarrassed voice from the other side of the room. It definitely wasn't Finn's and worrying it was a customer, I hastily pushed Sebastian away only to see a beautiful man in the most gorgeous clothes I had ever seen. He was taller than I imagined him in person and he wore his hair differently, but there was no mistaking him.
Kurt Hummel had returned to Lima.
Comments
this is awesome!!! please don't ever stop writing!!!