Chapter 7: Proposal

Blaine knew there were tears in his eyes as he drew to the last few chords of the piece. He had to finish, though he was sure nobody was listening this was for Kurt, and that meant he had to do it for him.

Blaine could no longer control his sobs when he had played the final note. They tore at his insides and came out in burst at first before forming a more regular pattern. Blaine was so absorbed by his own sorrow that it took him a while before he heard the quiet sobs, so similar to his own, coming from the other side of his apartment door.

Kurt was completely taken by surprise by the tidal wave of emotion that swept over him, dragging him with it. The feeling was nostalgic of the night before yet oh, so much worse, because he knew in his heart that, unlike Trixie, Marco and the cast, this wouldn't go away. It had never really gone away Kurt had just tried to ignore it, but he couldn't do it anymore.

Kurt leaned against the wall and slowly sank to the ground before becoming overcome by the sobs which were escaping his chest in short bursts. Kurt wasn't really thinking at the time, otherwise maybe he would have realised that there are better places to do you heartbroken cries than right outside the love of your life's door. He didn't notice the cries from the boy beyond the door; he didn't even notice when the door next to him opened. All he knew was that Blaine was quite suddenly by his side and, he was holding Kurt in his arms.

Blaine jumped in shock at the sound of weeping coming from outside. He recognised it immediately as Kurt, how could he not. Blaine sniffed and slowly got up, he walked up to the door, his hand was poised over the handle; unsure of how to proceed. He was worried about Kurt, was he ok? What was he doing here? Is he still mad? Eventually Blaine decided that it was now or never; he grabbed hold of the handle turned, however his new found confidence was not long lasting. He slowly stuck his head round the door, as quietly as possible.

Blaine spotted Kurt immediately. He was hunched over himself, like a small cocoon which housed a butterfly. Blaine rushed over, no longer worried about whether Kurt was still mad at him or why he was crying. Blaine only saw the boy he loved sobbing so violently, he appeared to be having convulsions in his chest. Blaine sat next to Kurt and took the young man into his arms, only in that moment Kurt wasn't a young man, he was a young boy again; scared of the frightening things happening around him.

Blaine had half expected to be pushed away by Kurt, but he only pulled him closer. Kurt rested his head on Blaine's shoulder and cried down his back. Blaine found it a lot easier than he'd expected to comfort the countertenor. It was like riding a bicycle, comforting Kurt had been something so sewn into his brain that it was easy to revert back to it.

Kurt was crying for some time and Blaine began to worry that he would never stop. It killed Blaine to think of it as his fault. Slowly, however, the tears began to subside slightly and Kurt was left breathing shakily over Blaine's shoulder.

"Come on, let's go inside and I'll get you a coffee, you could probably do with one?" Blaine said trying, and failing to keep his sentence as a statement and not a question.

He felt a small movement, signalling that Kurt had nodded so he stood up, holding Kurt all the while, and they both made their way into Blaine's apartment.

Kurt didn't know why he had agreed to go in with Blaine for coffee. All he knew was that he couldn't say no, not now. He just wanted Blaine to hold him and tell him everything would sort itself out… No, he didn't really want that he wanted to hate Blaine, hate him for what he had done and hate him even more for the way that Kurt still needed him. But he couldn't, the truth was simple. Kurt loved Blaine more than anything and he always had, he'd just never realised it.

Blaine steered Kurt carefully toward a well-padded sofa in the corner of the kitchen (though Blaine knew it was unusual he liked to have a sofa in the kitchen, it was good to drink coffee on).

"I'll be right back with your coffee. Will you be alright?" Blaine said, concerned for Kurt.

"I'm… fine, Blaine." Kurt stumbled over the last word, he was clearly not fine but neither of them had the neither energy nor inclination to point it out.

True to his word Blaine came back a couple of minutes later with coffee for himself and Kurt. Kurt took the warm cup gratefully and moved up slightly to give Blaine enough room to sit down next to him.

They drank in silence for a few minutes; it wasn't an awkward silence but it wasn't a comfortable one either. Though they were both content to drink their coffees it was really hard to ignore the giant elephant in the room, which was practically doing juggling tricks in front of them by this time.

Blaine soon realised that Kurt was not going to be the one to break the silence, so he took it upon himself to do so.

"Kurt, I'm sorry about earlier. I guess I wasn't thinking. Things have been tough recently and I don't like it when people are like that towards you, I never have." Blaine was as honest as he could possibly be; he knew that Kurt would see right through him if he knew he was holding something back. Besides he wanted to be honest with Kurt; Kurt was too special to lie or keep things from. Blaine wanted everything out in the open.

Kurt looked up at Blaine. Part of him wanted to feel hatred towards the man sitting beside him, but he still couldn't do it. All he saw was love, the boy who had, five years ago, helped him to overcome his bullies, the boy who had been his first boyfriend and the boy who had won him a yellow teddy bear in an amusement arcade on their first trip out of Ohio.

"It's… it's… forget about it. What's done is done, and nobody can change that even if they wanted too." Ah here comes the pushover Kurt thought to himself. God why couldn't he have a little more self-respect… oh right yeah. That!

Blaine seemed slightly taken aback, he had expected a thunderstorm of insults, not this, and for some reason this was a lot worse than a thunderstorm of insults. Insults would just be so… Kurt. This definitely was not Kurt, this wasn't right.

"Kurt, can you please tell me what's wrong? It can't just be me; you said it yourself in Paris." Blaine looked at Kurt pleadingly; willing Kurt to let him in. Blaine wanted to help.

Kurt sighed he looked at Blaine and he knew he was going to tell him everything at some point. It was only a matter of time before he caved in. So why wait?

"It's… my fellow cast members, they don't like me much," understatement of the century Kurt thought to himself.

Just as he knew he would Kurt told Blaine everything. It was impossible not to. Blaine was so understanding, though he didn't speak much when he did he always said the write thing. He made the right facial expressions and gave Kurt the occasional hug when it looked as though Kurt was going cry again.

When Kurt had finished he let out a long sigh. It was nice to tell someone else. Mercedes had always known all along and she had been a great help to Kurt but right now it was great to have someone who hadn't been there from the beginning know. It was as though his problems were in physical form and he had just given some of them to Blaine. Kurt felt lighter.

Blaine pulled Kurt close in that moment. "You will never be alone again." He said, his tone was soft yet defiant. It made Kurt feel safe as though things really would get better.

But of course, even when having the most wonderful of dreams, you have to wake up at some point. Neither of them wanted to be the one to break the dream but it was inevitable. In the end Kurt was the one to break to small happiness they had been sharing with one simple question.

"So where does this leave us?"

Neither of them knew what to say to that. As it had been Kurt to ask the question Blaine thought that really he should come up with some kind of response but his mind drew a blank as he mentally rebuked himself for not being the one to ask the question.

Eventually he came up with "I don't know," then added a quick; "I want to help you," so as not to put all the weight of the question on top of Kurt's delicate frame.

Kurt looked over at Blaine; his earnest face seemed to beg for an honest answer. Kurt didn't know how this would go down, but he was sick of being unhappy. Kurt wanted to be selfish for once; he wanted to have a bit of short-term happiness; someone to love him, even if it wasn't for very long. He wanted that boy back again, who had sworn to protect Kurt against Karofsky and had been as good as his word for as long as they were together. Maybe if they were together again for a little while he would be able to get over Blaine and move on. Anyway, this was his last chance to do something about it and he'd be damned if he was going to let this opportunity pass him by.

"I want someone to be there for me. I want someone who will walk down the street and hold my hand. I still love you Blaine, I hate that I do and I wish I didn't but I do and whatever I do I can't seem to change it. The truth is I'm lonely. I don't really have many friends in England. There's nobody in the cast or production team I can talk to. Hell! I don't think I have any friends here! I talk to Mercedes by phone and we video chat on Skype, but it's not the same. I need someone to talk to here. I know this might sound selfish but I think we both need to get over each other. I stay in England for about ten weeks, it can change as does popular demand but it should remain around that length of time. Would you like to be my boyfriend for ten weeks Blaine? I'll understand if you don't. I'm just asking. You probably don't want to it's fine, it was a stupid ide…"

Kurt was cut off by a finger placed over his mouth. It was Blaine. Blaine looked at Kurt with a soft expression. He eyes weren't judging they only showed love.

"Kurt, it definitely comes across to me that you've had a pretty hard life the past five years. I have to take some of the blame for that. I think you deserve a little happiness and anyway, I'd love to be your boyfriend, even if it is only temporary. I think I would also enjoy the time with you too. I still love you too, you know. I'd be honoured for you to spend your ten weeks with me." Blaine gave Kurt a genuine smile, he took Kurt's hand in his.

Kurt couldn't have been happier in that very moment. Ten weeks would suit him just fine. Little did he know that Blaine was already making plans to extend the deadline, to a somewhat more suitable timescale. He'd made up his mind the moment he saw Kurt in the hallway: this was the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.