When all is said and done
Chapter 28
6 days until New York…
Kurt and Blaine settled into watching a second movie but Kurt only made it to the half-way point before falling fast asleep. Blaine didn’t want to wake him so he carried Kurt bridal style into the bedroom and tucked him in before Blaine himself got changed and snuggled in next to him.
During the night Blaine was woken up to mumbling coming from Kurt; it was almost incoherent apart from the odd “no” and “don’t” Blaine also heard his own name mentioned a few times. Blaine realised that Kurt was having a nightmare, he held Kurt into his chest and rocked him back and for. Kurt screamed when he woke up and he began to writhe but Blaine held him steady, “shhh… it’s ok, just a dream Kurt. You’re safe with me, nobody’s going to hurt you here,” Blaine said comfortingly into Kurt’s matted hair.
“I’m sorry for waking you,” Kurt whispered to Blaine, leaning his head his his boyfriend’s neck.
“Kurt, seriously, it’s fine! Don’t you worry! Are you sure you want to do the performance tomorrow, though, you seem pretty shaken up and you will almost certainly be tired, maybe you should spend the day with me?” Blaine asked, he hated seeing Kurt like this and he just knew he would worry incessantly if Kurt went to perform today.
Kurt shook his head furiously, “no I have to go, Blaine, if I don’t go tomorrow it will only get harder. I need to move past this and the only way I can do that is if I carry on as normal, however much I would rather spend the day with you,” Kurt smiled as he finished, taking Blaine’s hand.
“Oh, Kurt, I wish you didn’t feel like that. If anything happens you will tell me, right?” Blaine pressed.
“I will, Blaine,” Kurt sighed, he was tired.
“Promise?”
“I promise. Now, can we can some sleep I have to be up early tomorrow and I don’t fancy looking like the living dead. I just can’t pull off the zombie look,” Kurt teased.
Blaine pulled Kurt, once more, into his chest before laying back down into the soft convers. “You can pull off any look, Kurt, you always look fabulous and even if you didn’t I’d love you anyway so you have nothing to worry about.”
The morning alarm hit Kurt like a train; he had struggled desperately to sleep last night and as a consequence looked like the living dead.
Blaine helped, he practically carried Kurt to the kitchen before placing a double espresso in front of the counter tenor. “Maybe this will help a bit,” he smiled.
“Thanks,” Kurt mumbled, he wasn’t really capable of proper speech at that point in time.
Blaine looked concerned, “Are you sure you have to go? Seriously Kurt, I mean no offense by it but you do look like you’ve been through hell and back even if you do look beautiful!”
“Not a chance Blaine, I’m going and that’s that,” the words were confident but Blaine noticed a slight quiver in Kurt’s lower lip.
“Why are you always so stubborn?” Blaine sighed.
“If I wasn’t stubborn I wouldn’t be me I guess I just like to control my own life, I don’t think that’s a bad thing,” Kurt said defensively, he patience was thin with lack of sleep.
“I never said it was, Kurt,” Blaine said softly kissing Kurt’s shoulder.
Kurt showered and got dressed as quickly as possible, his face care routine completed but not thoroughly so. He was about to head out the door when Blaine approached him.
“I’m going to pick you up today, if that’s ok with you. Please take your mobile and please for God’s sake call me if anything happens, anything at all; even if it sounds small I want to be there for you Kurt,” Blaine leaned in slowly, giving Kurt time to back out, before placing his lips gently against Kurt’s own.
“I will,” Kurt whispered.
“Hey guys!” Trixie called, making her way over to Marco and Jayden, “How did it go?” she asked.
“I delivered the photos to Blaine,” Jayden said quietly, “but he saw straight through it all. He went to find Kurt; I’m not sure what happened after that. He wants to know everything. I doubt they will have broken up.”
“Well that sucks, I guess we’ll just have to come up with a better plan,” Trixie mused.
“No,” Jayden and Marco said at the same time.
“What are you talking about?! We can’t just give up after one attempt! We have six more days, we can still do this!” Trixie pushed.
“I hate this. I wish we’d never gone into this in the first place and I’m just sad it took me so long to realise this. I love Blaine, so I need to let him be happy. He loves Kurt so I need to support them. The kiss made me feel pretty sick and I hated seeing the way Blaine saw me when I gave him those photos. I want out,” Jayden said firmly.
“Me too, I hate myself for what I did to Kurt. It wasn’t right. It may have been my fantasy but it most certainly wasn’t Kurt’s. I can’t go on like this. I thought I’d be happy if Kurt was with me whatever the circumstances but now I know that I’m only interested in being in a relationship where I not only love somebody but am loved in return. I won’t find that with Kurt and I love him enough to want him to be happy, he’s happy with Blaine so there is no way I am going to try to break them up again,” Marco said, “and I’m apologising to Kurt at the next opportunity I get. I suggest you guys do the same. We can be better than this.”
“Ok, hold the freaking phone; since when were you in love with Kurt?!” Trixie screeched.
“I’m done here,” said Marco as he spotted Kurt entering at the stage door.
“Bye, Trixie,” Jayden murmured as he followed Marco over to Kurt.
Marco winced when he saw Kurt. The normally pristine hair was messy and still damp, he had huge bags under his eyes as though he’d had very little sleep and his clothes were wrinkled. It was hard to recognise him.
“Kurt,” Marco said softly as he approached the man.
Kurt seemed to jump six feet in the air before turning to face Marco, “I have nothing to say to you,” he whispered before turning.
“Kurt, wait, please hear me out!” Marco called after him. Kurt paused and slowly turned round to face Marco and Jayden who was walking up to stand next to Marco, his face was expressionless.
“I’m sorry,” Marco said, it was quiet but Kurt could tell it was heartfelt. “What I did to you was completely and totally wrong. I guess I just carried away, I knew it was wrong as soon as I kissed you. You don’t need to forgive me but please understand that if I could turn back time I would never have done it and I am so so sorry. I hope you and Blaine are really happy, I hope he makes you happy and I hope he understands that you are an amazing person who deserves all the love and care the world has to offer though it is rare you get it.”
“Me too,” Jayden jumped in, seeing his cue, “I’m not really much good with words but basically what he said, apart from the kissing you part. I loved Blaine but now I see that he deserves better than what I can offer him. You are so much better, Kurt. Just, don’t break his heart, ok?” Jayden gave Kurt a small smile before heading back. Marco followed him.
“Marco!” Kurt called. Marco turned and walked back up to Kurt.
“Listen I accept your apology for kissing me, but you have still upset my best friend in so many ways. I don’t see why I should have to be the one to break her heart by telling her that her dream man is actually a gay guy trying to get back at her best friend. If you explain and do it properly without causing any more pain then maybe I will be able to forgive you,” Kurt said firmly, Mercedes deserved way better than an explanation from a friend. Marco nodded silently.
Kurt headed off to his dressing room, as soon as he got there he called Blaine.
“Hey Blaine,” Kurt greeted his boyfriend.
“Hey Kurt everything ok? If you want me to come over I can be there in fifteen minutes,” Blaine said immediately feeling concerned about Kurt’s reasons for calling him.
“No everything’s fine, Blaine. Marco has actually apologised in a very reasonable way and so has Jayden. I’m not going to be close to either again but I guess it’s something to know they’ve stopped trying to split us up,” Kurt smiled.
“That’s great, Kurt! I guess we should be able to sleep a bit better tonight then?” Blaine half-joked half-asked.
“Yeah, also Marco said he would explain to Mercedes about the whole Malcolm situation so I guess that’s off my back too,” Kurt sighed.
“Wait, what do you mean? I thought everything was good with Malcolm? What has Malcolm even got to do with Marco?” Blaine asked, confused.
“Oh I guess I forgot to tell you. Sorry Blaine, it’s just with all the other things it completely slipped my mind! Marco is Malcolm. He was using Mercedes to get information on us. I found out when Mercedes showed me a picture of him. He hasn’t called her in a week and she has no other way of contacting him,” Kurt explained.
“Oh my God, poor Mercedes, he better be nice about explaining or I think I might just have to go break his face in! Shit! Mercedes is going to be so upset!” Blaine sighed, with all the other things going on around them it was difficult to concentrate on one thing at a time.
“Anyway I’d better go get my green on, I’ll see you later. Are you still coming to pick me up?” Kurt asked, a hopeful tone now crossing into his voice.
“Of course, Kurt! Love you!” Blaine smiled.
“I love you, too,” Kurt sighed before hanging up.
“Listen, Marco, I have something I need to tell you but I’m scared of what your reaction is going to be,” Jayden sighed.
“Jayden, I like to think that out of all this shit you are the only good thing that has come out. You can tell me anything, I won’t judge you,” Marco placed an arm carefully around Jayden’s shoulders.
“I hated it when you kissed Kurt, but I think I hated it for an entirely different reason. I wanted it to be me… you know… kissing you,” Jayden was whispering by the end.
“You really want to kiss me, but I do bad things. I’m not right for you,” Marco said, shocked.
“Does that mean you don’t like me?” Jayden asked.
Marco looked at Jayden, only really looked at him this time. He saw something in Jayden in that moment, a glint in his eyes or dimple for his smile. Whatever it was Marco realised that maybe everything would be ok after all, “I want to,” he murmured.
That was all the encouragement Jayden needed, he put his hands on either side of Marco’s face and pressed their lips together softly. It wasn’t heated or passionate but it was full of hope, as though a window had been opened.
“I don’t think love it about finding someone perfect,” Jayden whispered, “I think it’s about see who people truly are and loving them just as much despite whatever flaws they may have. You have your flaws, Marco, but I would never change them for the world.”