I wanna feel reckless

I wanna live it up just because

I wanna feel weightless

Cause that would be enough

The halls were loud and crowded and the map in Blaine's hands was serving no actual use since he couldn't see over the heads of half the student body. How was McKinley so crowded? Blaine wondered as he looked down at the map once again trying to find his locker.

He had to remind himself constantly, as he pushed through the crowd, he chose this. Blaine himself was the only reason he was walking through those halls, not the calm, kind, beautiful walls of Dalton. Dalton was sounding very good at that moment in time.

Maybe it wasn't too late… His parents would prefer him there anyways, and the Warblers would welcome their lead vocalist back with open arms. Did McKinley even have a successful Glee club?

Blaine sighed heavily as he pushed his way out of a hallway and into one that seemed a whole lot calmer. He realized he must have been in the main hall before, which would explain the sheer number of people in the tiny space. He felt like he could breathe again.

Looking at the numbers on the lockers a smile exploded on his face. He was in the right area! His locker should be right around…. Ah there it was. 2704. He resisted the erg to do a small celebratory dance as he flipped his paper over and tried the combination written on the back.

5 tries and a few unsavory words later Blaine's lock popped open and he couldn't resist throwing a small punch in the air at the success. He looked around and was thankful no one had been paying any attention to his scene. He threw his books and messenger bag into the locker and looked at it up and down.

"I'm really going to need to do something with this," he said gazing at the boring beige interior. He dug around in his bag for a few seconds before coming out with a yellow warbler magnet and a picture of the group of boys that were just like his family. He stuck it up on the door and smiled brightly at it. Just having it there made him feel better.

He took a long deep breath and grabbed his books for the first class on his schedule. English Lit. It was a great way to start the morning in Blaine's opinion. English lit almost always had a play in the reading list.

He looked at the photo once more before fishing his phone out of his bag, dropping it into the dark grey material of his pants and closing the locker door.

This was it. His first day in the real world. Well, as close to the real world as one could get in high school. It was a good feeling to know that he wasn't hiding at Dalton anymore. Of course, he wouldn't be jumping up and down with a Gay-diddy-gay-gay-gay Sign above his head but he wasn't cowering behind strict rules anymore. He would blend in and make some friends, join the glee club, hopefully go unnoticed and get through the jungle that was high school.

He stepped away from his locker and saw bright red letterman jackets turning a corner. His heart stopped for a second, his eyes getting wide instantly. He took a deep breath and dropped his eyes to the ground. Walking on the opposite side of the hall he slipped past without even a glance from the jocks. If he could keep that up he would be fine.

He took a deep breath once he was out of their sight and leaned against the wall to look around at his new surroundings.

It seemed so normal, so cliché, to see all these teenagers laughing and talking with their friends. It was all so normal and mundane and it drew Blaine in. He wanted this. Wanted to be normal. Despite his sexuality, he wanted to live a normal life. This was where he could do that. Not at Dalton where everything was perfect enough to be a fantasy.

Blaine's eyes scanned the crowd, looking at each face in turn. Each face could be a possible friend, or an enemy. Each face was so much different from the last and he could see personality in every set of eyes. Some duller then others, but still there none the less.

A girl with short brown hair and blue eyes rambling to a tall blonde who seemed bored by the topic of conversation but taken with the girl on a whole. A boy with a locker filled with chap-sticks, which made Blaine chuckle. A short girl with long brown hair and a hideous outfit talking the ear off of a bored looking boy with blu- wait a second. That boy. He knew that boy. He knew those eyes and he knew that bone structure. The tall lean build and gorgeous pale skin.

But no. It couldn't be… There was no way. No piercings, no eyeliner or combat books. No studs to be found anywhere.

But it was. It was Ariel. Blaine was sure of it.

"And Mr. Shuester won't listen to me! I keep telling him that we need to do Wicked this year as our school play! Couldn't you just imagine it Kurt! We could play Elphaba and Galinda! It would be perfect. When we did Defying Gravity, even if you did miss the note, in sophomore year we kicked butt! Well again other then that high F for you! But I could help you with it! With my coaching skills you will be able to hit that note with no issues at all. Really though…" Rachel kept going on and on and on, it was at that point that Kurt finally gave up attempting to listen to her and let his eyes glaze over.

Sometimes he wondered if Rachel ever knew he did it. Was he just really good at pretending he was listening? Or did Rachel just like the sound of her own voice enough to not care? He assumed it was the latter. Kurt hugged his books to his chest as he gazed past her. Maybe doing Wicked was a good idea. Though he doubted Shuester would be willing to bend the gender roles to let him play Galinda. Though as Rachel always stated, she had two gay dads and they would fight for his right to play the role. He laughed at the thought of the Mr. Berry's yelling at Shuester about gender and sexuality equality. He got a slight smirk on his face at the thought.

His gaze started to drift, which he knew was probably not the smartest thing, but he couldn't stare at the defaced "School Togetherness!" poster behind Rachel's head anymore.

His eyes roamed the halls at all the familiar faces blending into one another. Until one stood out. Still familiar but not… where- oh goddess! No! no! Kurt's eyes grew slightly and he felt like the air had been punched out of him.

Blaine. It was Blaine. At McKinely. This could not be happening. He was never supposed to see that adorable boy ever again. He had clouded and consumed Kurt's mind for three weeks. Even as school had started and the haze of summer ended Blaine's eyes had been a permanent fixture in his thoughts. How could he be there?

"Oh! Look, Rach! Its time to get to class. Come on, I'll walk you" he said as he linked his arm through hers and dragged her down the hall quickly towards Rachel's chemistry class. He could be late for his English if it got him far away from Blaine. "I would love to do Wicked Rach, but do you really think we could pull it off? I mean it is us but still…" He said knowing it would send her on another one of her tangents. Which was what he needed. He needed her to babble so he had time to think.

This was impossible. But yet there he was. He couldn't dwell on the how or the why. All he had time to think about was how he was going to never, ever come in contact with Blaine.

He couldn't. It would ruin it. He knew that his fantasies would be crushed anyway just by having Blaine invade his reality. But if he avoided getting to know Blaine then he could pretend all he wanted.

Kurt suppressed a groan of frustration and humiliation as he remembered everything he had said that night. What he had been wearing! This simply could not be happening…

Kurt would go home and burn everything he wore that night, he would avoid Blaine like the plague and he would pretend it never happened. He could do that. He could plead as if it never happened. At least he wanted to believe he could. But the things his stomach was doing spoke different volumes. He would try though. Try harder then he had tried at anything else in his life.

He wouldn't, couldn't, let Blaine into his world. He didn't belong in reality.

Kurt calmed himself down as he walked through the empty halls towards his English class. He was thankful for his stunning punctuality and the fact that Ms. Tardiff loved him. He was a good five minutes late, but he had needed a few moments to collect himself and his resolve. In the quiet halls his decision seemed very, very plausible. Doable. It wouldn't be difficult to stay away from Blaine. It was a big school… ish… He hadn't even given Blaine his name, there was no way Blaine would even remember his face. Blaine probably had forgotten about Kurt before he even got home after the concert. Just because Kurt had made it into some huge rock n' roll fairy tale did not mean Blaine had done the same.

Quietly he pushed the door to his classroom open and smiled apologetically at Ms. Tardiff before turning to find a seat, he stopped in his tracks. Blaine. Blaine was in the class, third row, second from the back. Almost directly in the middle of the room, like a neon sign. At least to Kurt, no one else seemed to notice him at all. Kurt took his eyes off of the other boy as quickly as he could and slid into the front desk right by the door; thankful no one ever wanted the front row desks. This would provide a very speedy escape into the crowded hall as soon as class was over.

Not that Blaine would go after him, of course not. Why would he do that? Kurt kicked himself mentally for making such a big deal out of nothing. As he had told himself earlier, there was no way Blaine would even remember or recognize Kurt. It was safe and it was fine.

Kurt wasn't going tot take any chances though. The class continued and he felt terrible for not being able to concentrate. All he did was doodle on his note pad, pressing his pencil far too hard into the lined paper. His mind was swimming and he couldn't make it stop! He could almost feel Blaine starring but he was too much of a coward to look and see.

Half way through the class the teacher assigned silent reading and Kurt fished out the novel floating at the bottom of his bag. He opened the pages and looked at the words. He couldn't concentrate or make them even form sentences. He sighed frustrated, what was going on with him? He wanted to throw the book across the room. Why wouldn't his mind shut up?

A shadow appeared in front of Kurt and his heart stopped. He inhaled and looked up at the person in front of him.

A relieved sigh escaped, as it was just Ms. Tardiff. Aside from Shuester, Tardiff was the only teacher he thought really cared. Not about everyone, but about him. He supposed in her own messed up way Sue cared too, but it wasn't the same.

The teacher knelt down in front of his desk and rested her head on her folded arms on top of the table. "You okay?" She whispered looking at Kurt in the eyes.

The book quietly hit the desk and Kurt shrugged, he looked at her brown eyes and signed once again "Fine, I guess. I don't know. Just stuff running through my head. I'm fine. Really. Just teenage gay issues." He said almost silently and let his eyes drift shut for a second. She was one of the very few people he had always been fine talking about his sexuality with. All his friends got it, accepted it, Shuester was supportive and his dad was a miracle. But Marnie Tardiff was the only person he had ever met that treated his sexuality as normal. As absolutely no different then anyone else.

Sure, everyone else talked the talk, but he could always feel that it was still different to them. Not to Marnie. She nodded and smiled at him "Ah. I see. I think we should have a little get together after school. Don't you? After all, you were late for my class Mr. Hummel." She said with a wink and pushed herself up. "See you after Glee club" she said as she walked away.

Kurt nodded, was that technically a detention? If it was it didn't feel like it and he was actually thankful for it.

The bell rang and Kurt was out of the door faster then he thought humanly possibly. He was on a mission. He needed to find Noah.

"Uh, Kurt, while you have a really nice ass, I have no interest in tapping it…" Noah said rubbing the back of his neck after he was shoved into an empty classroom by Kurt.

Kurt pushed back his hair and rolled his eyes "Not everything is about sex Noah." He said as he started passing the room, his lip sucked in between his teeth as he worried it. "I am in an awkward situation and it is entirely your fault," He growled, his arms folded over his chest.

"Dude, I haven't seen you since thee concert, what kind of awkward situation could I have gotten you into?" Puck mumbled raising an eyebrow. After Quinn constantly blaming him for things though, Noah had no doubt that somehow what ever happened was his fault.

Kurt looked at Noah and sighed, collapsing down into a desk. It wasn't fair of him to put this on Noah just because he wanted someone to blame other then himself. "Okay, maybe not entirely your fault. But still! It was that stupid concert that got me into this mess" He grumbled as he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

The confusion that covered Pucks face might have been cute of Kurt wasn't annoyed by it. "That concert was 3 weeks ago man! What can that possibly have anything to do with today?" he asked as he stood in front of Kurt and watched him. "Wait a second! What happened after you left the pit?" Puck demanded and knelt down in front of him "Did someone mess with you Kurt? Was there another Karofsky incident because I swear I will kill who ever laid a finger on you" he said the anger over taking his face.

Kurt's eyes got wide with panic "No! no, it was nothing like that! I promise. There was this guy though. I don't know." He whined and even stomped his foot after the last sentence.

Noah looked at him, nudging him on with his eyes. After a deep breath Kurt launched into his rant "Well, I was so scared when the first bars of Riot started! And then there was a hand in mine and I was being pulled out of the pit, and then it was this adorable guy dressed kind of like a grandpa! And I don't know, maybe it was the make up or the booze or the adrenaline but we got to talking and I was like confident and badass and he was so funny! And he was sweet! And it was fun! And then we left and I fully intended to only ever see him in my dreams, which trust me Noah, I have!" Kurt rambled on and on, pausing at the end to see Noah's face.

After a few seconds Puck realized that it was his turn to speak "uh… well… okay, I really don't see an issue…" he said slowly, hoping not to enrage the already frantic boy in front of him. "Isn't it a good thing you met a guy?"

Air left his lips and Kurt started rambling again "Oh yeah, it was fine and dandy and cute and perfect, until he showed up here! Noah he is here! As in at McKinley, as in, in my English class!" he said his voice going up a couple octaves with his pulse rising.

"Dude! Chill! This is a good thing! You can get in grandpas pants! And judging by your freak out right now I think you need to get laid. Like now." Noah said putting a hand on Kurt's knee.

Kurt hit his shoulder lightly and shook his head "Noah! No! I am not as you so eloquently put it 'getting in his pants'" he said using air quotes. "I can't talk to him! I'm nothing like I was at the concert! I was all confident and blah! And now look at me! I'm freaking out just because I saw him down a hall. I would be such a disappointment. That's if he even remembers me. Which he doesn't." Kurt said sadly. "I don't know. I can't let him know its me. I just have to avoid him at all costs." He got up, slinging his bag over his shoulder and headed towards the door. "Thank you Noah, I think I just needed someone to rant to. Can we keep this between us please?" he said as he grabbed the door handle and turned back to Noah who was still kneeling where Kurt had been sitting.

He nodded and Kurt smiled back at him before pulling the door open and starting to exit the room. "But I think you are being an idiot Princess" he called after him.

Kurt bit his lip and ignored the comment. What did Puck know anyways?