Dec. 18, 2011, 10:38 p.m.
So Much Better: Chip On My Shoulder
T - Words: 3,740 - Last Updated: Dec 18, 2011 Story: Complete - Chapters: 7/7 - Created: Oct 30, 2011 - Updated: Dec 18, 2011 1,173 0 0 0 0
He had been tricked.
It felt as if everyone suddenly took notice and everything was in slow motion. He could clearly see Vaughn and his gaggle of girls laughing on his behalf on the other side of the room.
“Blaine?”
He closed his eyes, he knew that voice. He smiled and then turned to Warner whose eyes looked as if they were going to fall out of his head.
“Woah, Blaine you look?”
“Ridiculous? I know. Your boyfriend invited me and told me that it was a costume party.”
Warner let out a laugh but could not take his eyes off of him.
“Don’t arrest me officer!” Vaughn yelled from the other side of the room, everyone roared with laughter.
Blaine made himself over to the counter and poured himself a glass of wine.
“Why did you never dress like this when we were going out?”
Blaine discarded his glass on a table. “Well, because you never liked costume parties.”
“Right, well now I am really regretting that decision.”
He looked into Warner’s eyes, trying to read what he was thinking.
“I still can not believe you are here, in fashion school.” Warner waved his arms out to literally indicate where they were standing.
“Yup, I am here and I am not going any where.”
“I am just so surprised because you never had am interest in fashion. Back at Dalton, all you ever talked about was being on broadway and your huge acting career.”
“Some times plans can change.” Blaine lowered his voice. “Just like how your plans can change.”
Warner scrunched his brow. “I am not following.”
“You like to plan things in advance, I get that. Sometimes plans can change.” He put a hand on Warner’s shoulder. “I can still be part of your plans; I am a serious fashion design student now. We can work together and then get Callahan’s internship and-.”
Warner laughed. “You are trying to get that internship? You don’t even know the basics of fashion.”
“You seem to have forgotten that I got into this school as well Warner. I worked just as hard as you to get in and I deserve that internship spot as much as you do.”
“Yeah Blaine, but you get thrown out of class. Do you honestly think you stand a chance of getting one of those spots?”
Blaine shifted his weight onto his other leg while simultaneously crossing his arms over his exposed chest. “Yes, I do.”
“Everyone wants that internship, especially me. It is a great opportunity and I don’t think you are cut out for it.”
Blaine stepped back from Warner.
“Nice costume Blaine.” Vaughn came up on their side and wrapped his arms around Warner’s waist.
“Thanks for the tip Vaughn.” Blaine looked at Vaughn’s outfit. He wore tight jeans, a plaid button up shirt with red suspenders and bowtie. “I see you dressed up as Steve Urkel.”
Vaughn sucked in his lips and made an angry noise.
“Look Blaine,” Warner put an arm in front of Vaughn. “You need to be top of the class to get that internship. You need to be realistic.”
“You are not going to get the internship if you can’t stay through a whole class.” Vaughn glared at Blaine.
Blaine didn’t care; he kept his eyes on Warner.
“Warner and I are going to get this internship, create our own line and become famous. You…. Well you will probably drop out and end up waiting tables.”
Blaine’s face fell.
Vaughn looked amused by Blaine’s change in expression and continued. “Go home Blaine. You don’t have a chance with that internship and you don’t have a chance with Warner. So get lost.”
Blaine nodded and began to walk away. He stopped himself and spun back around on his heels and faced Vaughn. “You may be right, I may have to work a little bit harder to get this internship and I am okay with that. It is worth it to me. At least I am not an insecure bitch who feels the need to cut everyone else down around them to get ahead.” With that Blaine walked out the door leaving a sputtering Vaughn in his wake.
-----
One thing was for sure, Blaine did not want to go home. Not now, not yet. He was fuming and he could not control his emotions. The courtyard was vacant at this hour so he paced back and forth before eventually collapsing onto a bench. He held his head in his hands and stared at the ground wondering if it was humanly possible to melt right into it.
“Don’t you think it is a little too early for Halloween?”
Blaine did not recognize the voice and looked around to find the owner of it.
Standing to the left of him was the upperclassman.
How many times is he going to run into him this week?
His arms were folded over his chest and he looked down on him with his large blue eyes. They were so bright even at this time of night. Once Blaine looked into them, he felt himself get lost.
“Umm hello? Is anyone home?”
Blaine shook himself back to reality.
“Yeah… I don’t want to talk about it.”
The boy laughed lightly. “I was not trying to pry, it is just an unusual look for an evening in late august.”
Blaine did not respond.
The boy approached him and held a hand out to him. “Let’s start over with introductions. I am Kurt. I am your T.A. for Design 101.”
“Blaine.” He returned shortly as he shook his hand.
“I know.” Kurt stepped closer to Blaine. “You look cold.”
Blaine suddenly became very aware of the weather. His rage had warmed his body so well that now without it coursing through his veins; he realized that it was pretty cold. Regardless, he was not going to admit it to Kurt. The situation was already embarrassing enough as it was.
Kurt took off his sweater and draped it over Blaine’s shoulders before he had time to protest.
Blaine looked at him, shocked. Instantly he became very grateful of the new article of clothing and wrapped it around him tighter.
Kurt sat down on the bench next to him. “So, officer, what brings you to this bench at this time of night?”
Blaine laughed, he had to. He knew he looked ridiculous. “Because I am an idiot.”
“Woah, that is a little harsh.” Kurt crossed his legs.
Blaine sighed.
“Take me back a bit... what happened?”
Blaine looked at Kurt, his eyes were full of a caring and genuine look and before he could stop himself he said, “Love.”
“Love happened?” Kurt looked like he was trying really hard to keep up.
“I am an idiot for love.”
“I see.” Kurt drew out longer than necessary. “How so?”
“I followed my ex-boyfriend to this school to win him back. I thought just me being here would be enough. Now he is dating this horrible guy and I am just here.”
“Let me get this straight, you followed your ex boyfriend to this school, just to win him back.”
“Thus, why I am an idiot for love.” Blaine sighed deeply.
Kurt nodded to himself. “No wonder you seemed out of sorts on the first day of class.”
Blaine bit on to his bottom lip to hold back his emotions.
Kurt stared at him for a few minutes, giving him the time to talk and pull himself together.
“Instead of him falling in love with me and having this picture perfect college experience, I am the punch line of everyone’s joke. I get kicked out of class, tricked and ridiculed by his boyfriend.” Blaine hung his head. “I am just giving him more fuel for the fire. I wish that I was dead.”
“Well that is a bit dramatic, don’t you think?” Kurt looked at him sideways. “But you seriously followed a guy to the top fashion design school in the country because he dumped you?”
“Way to rub it in.”
Kurt put his hands up in defense. “No no, I am not saying it like that to be cruel, I am just trying to grasp onto the situation at hand.”
Blaine returned his gaze to the ground. He noticed he has been revealing a lot of personal information to strangers the last few days. What has come over him? He looked back over at Kurt who was staring at him with an amazed expression. Something about those eyes were just so inviting. He felt like he could trust those eyes.
“I found out yesterday that he was dating someone new. The new boyfriend invited me to a party and told me it was a costume party. I went to it and it clearly wasn’t one. He just told me it was so they could mock me.”
“This whole scenario is incredible. I am still stuck on the fact you dropped everything to come here to win him back.”
“Since we are learning about each other and my reason to attend this school, let’s hear your reasons.”
Kurt sat up straighter, pushing his back against the bench. “My reason to be here…?” He pressed his lips together.
Blaine could almost see the gears turning in this guys head.
Kurt switched the legs that he was crossing. “Well, my childhood was not the most ideal. My mother died when I was very young, leaving me with just my father. We were alone. He sacrificed so much so that we could have the life that we wanted. It was nothing much. He owned and operated a Tire and Lube shop in town and he tried to provide the most normal life for me. We may have only had each other, but it was enough for me. I have the drive to be the best, not only for myself but for him as well. I take this school and this program very seriously so excuse me if I come off as if I am mocking you for your reasons.”
Blaine laughed flatly.
“I have what you would call a chip on my shoulder. It came from being bullied and put down constantly in high school. I went through hell just because I was different. I wanted to show everyone I was something more than the kid with pretty clothes who is thrown into the dumpster everyday.” Kurt looked at him sideways. “Leaving that school and coming here lit a fire beneath me. It made me driven as hell to prove to everyone that I was worth something. I am here on scholarship and I am not going to let any chance go to waste. I need to be the best and I am not going to let anything or anyone stand in my way.”
“You shouldn’t do something just to prove your worth, especially to those people who hurt you.”
“Now isn’t that the pot calling the kettle black?”
Blaine froze, unable to form any sort of comeback. He was right though. He was doing the same thing, just on a different scale.
“If you want to survive here, you may want to get a chip on your shoulder as well,”
Blaine looked into Kurt’s eyes again but quickly looked away.
Kurt noticed him and smiled. “You are right, but it still gives me the drive to work twice as hard as everyone else.” He got up and straightened his bag on his shoulder.
“You can give me the sweater back in class.”
“Wait!” Blaine said more loudly than he anticipated. “How are you a TA already? You look like you are my age.”
Kurt pulled the strap on his shoulder bag up higher on his shoulder. “I am a second year.”
“Only? How did you-“
“I don’t get out a lot. I keep to myself. I threw myself into my class work. I volunteered to help Callahan at an event and he in turn asked me to be his TA. I got this far by using my time wisely. It gets lonely, but it will be worth it when I produce my own line and I see it on the runway for the first time. Then I can buy my Dad something really nice.”
“That is very kind of you.”
“No, it’s the least I can do. I owe him so much.” Kurt shook his head, returning to the conversation at hand. “ I need to take advantage of the opportunity I have here and keep myself focused on my goal. So, when it might seem like I am overworked and overwhelmed, I just remind myself that the payoff is so much greater than those trivial things.”
“Well you seem to be doing pretty well for yourself. I don’t know if I could do what you are doing.”
Kurt put his hand on Blaine’s shoulder. “Sure you can, you just need to find your motivation.”
Blaine bit his lip.
Kurt sighed. “You need to buckle down and get to work. It is not too late. How about this; what if I come over tomorrow and help you study?”
“That would be great actually.”
“Great, we will meet outside of Callahan’s class after it is over.”
-----
“Make yourself at home.” Blaine waved his hand to display his humble single dorm room as Kurt walked through the door.
Kurt’s eyes trailed across the walls that were decorated with pictures, art work and a Dalton pennant.
Dalton.
“Dalton? As in Ohio?”
Blaine turned to look at the pennant. “Y-Yeah. Ehhh. How did you know?”
“I’m from Lima.”
Blaine’s jaw fell open. “No way!”
Kurt nodded. “You play guitar?”
Blaine noticed him staring at his instrument now. “Yeah. I play a few instruments really. Guitar is just the only one I can fit in here.”
Kurt laughed. “Oh my god. You were on the Warblers weren’t you?”
“Yeah, how do you know?”
“My Glee Club slaughtered you my junior and senior year.”
Blaine nodded in understanding. “New Directions?”
Kurt beamed. “The one and only.”
“Well, we beat you my senior year and we went to Nationals.” Blaine said proudly.
“Good for you guys.”
“What a small world.”
“Well this has been a nice trip down memory lane but we need to get to work. Where are your books?”
“Books…right.” Blaine looked around his room.
“You did buy books…didn’t you?” Kurt sat down on Blaine’s bed as he dug through his closet.
“There they are!” He pulled out the books, still in the student store bag from when he bought them.
“Sure have been studying hard haven’t ya?” Kurt said with a playful grin.
“Oh ha ha.” He handed the book to Kurt and sat in his desk chair.
“Right, well let’s start on page one. True or False, You use a half lip stitch when sewing china silk.”
Blaine’s eyes darted back and forth. “Uhhh…”
“Oh lord, I sure do have my work cut out for me.” Kurt rolled his eyes. “Oh, and the answer is no, because it will pucker.”
Blaine nodded slowly. “I should probably write this all down.”
If Kurt rolled his eyes any harder, they may fall out of his head.
-----
Thanksgiving Break was upon them and Blaine was getting excited to go home. He had not seen his family since the summer and he could really use a home cooked meal. There was only so many Hungry Man Meals one man could eat.
Every time Blaine brought up this topic, Kurt became noticeably upset. On the day before break started, Blaine decided to finally ask him about it. “What is your deal? Why are you so upset about me going home?”
“You are finally catching up to everyone else’s level and I thought we would use the break to help you get ahead. Every extra minute you spend studying counts! You do know that when you come back from break you are going to start working with dress forms, right?”
“Oh.” Blaine felt like a deflating balloon.
“And I have a hunch that you have never used a dress form before.”
Blaine shook his head.
“Yeah… I thought we would spend the break getting you familiar with a dress form. If you go home, just prepare for a lot of catching up when you return.” Kurt said in a disappointed tone.
Blaine scratched the back of his neck. “You’re right. You are so right.”
“I know I would much rather be home but I need to follow through and remind myself of the payoff. This goes for you as well.”
Blaine nodded. “So where do I get a dress form?”
Kurt smiled and flipped to the next page.
-----
“Please don’t stick me with one of your pins Hobbit. You don’t want me to go all crazy on your ass.”
Blaine wrapped the fabric around Santana’s waist. “I would not dream of it.” He pulled a out a pin that he held between his teeth. “Besides, I need you in one piece if you are going to be my model.”
Santana laughed. “Just remember that you owe me clothes when you become a big name fashion designer.”
“Stand still or I will poke you.”
“Anderson, I swear to god-“
“Hey Blaine!” Kurt called from the door.
Santana zipped her jaw shut and put one hand on Blaine’s head to get his attention.
“Hey Kurt! Check out what I am working on. I feel like it needs a little something in the skirt but it is on its way.”
Santana swayed her hips to show off Blaine’s work. Kurt took a long look at her and smiled. “Yes definitely, before we get into that… I have a gift for you.”
Santana made an approving sound and hit Blaine since he was not reacting.
Blaine stood up and Kurt pulled a blue bag from behind his back.
Blaine gasped. “You really shouldn’t have Kurt.”
“You deserve a little something. You have been working so hard and you are not going home for Christmas tomorrow like everyone else. I just wanted you to have something non fashion related to help get your mind off things.”
“Open it Blaine.” Santana whispered from over his shoulder.
Blaine nodded and pulled out the silver tissue to find a small pack of guitar picks, a new set of guitar strings and a new guitar strap. “Oh Kurt.”
Kurt waved his hands in front of his face. “It is nothing really.”
“I have something for you, wait one second. San, don’t move.”
“Couldn’t, even if I wanted too.” Santana put her hands on her hips.
Blaine dug into his closet once more and pulled out a small red bag. “This is a thank you for helping me. You really have been amazing and this is just a small token.”
Kurt smiled broadly as he opened the bag to find a beautiful Alexander McQueen Dot Skull Scarf.
“BLAINE! How did you… Do you know how much this…. I can’t accept this!” Kurt looked like he might cry.
“I knew you liked Alexander McQueen because you can not stop talking about their fall line. I know how much it is, I bought it after all. You can accept this because as I said before, it is a small token of thanks for all of the help you have given me this semester.”
“Nicely done Hobbit.” Santana held her hand up for a high five.
“Sorry, you are?” Kurt said dryly.
Blaine pushed Santana’s hand out of sight. “Oh my gosh, Kurt this is my friend Santana. Santana, this is Kurt.”
She held out a hand to him. “Pleasure.”
“Pleasure is all mine.” Kurt shook her hand.
“San, that should be it for today. I am going to try to finish more of the skirt tonight. Can we meet same time tomorrow?”
Santana groaned as she removed the outfit. “Yeah, fine whatever. You owe me big time! I am off tomorrow!”
Blaine folded his hands and pleaded. “Please San! I’ll buy you lunch...I’ll sew you a dress…I will do anything!”
Santana pulled her clothes on and then reached over to put her hand on Blaine’s cheek. “Of course Blainey. Don’t worry you’re little head. Besides if you worry too much, your eyebrows will fall off.”
Blaine kissed her cheek and she smiled. With a quick nod to Kurt, she was out of the door.
Blaine turned back towards Kurt and picked up his pack of guitar picks. “Thank you for this Kurt, really.”
“Don’t mention it, I should be thanking you for this wonderful scarf.“ Kurt held it up.
Blaine put down the picks and took the scarf from Kurt’s hands. “I told you, this is my way of thanking you.” He put the scarf around Kurt’s neck and tied it.
Kurt pulled Blaine into a hug.
There was a knock on the door. “BLAINE?!”
Blaine pulled out of the hug quickly.
Warner opened the door. “Blaine, have you seen Vaughn? We are going to miss our flight.”
Blaine pulled on his sleeve nervously. “No.” He responded in a small voice.
Blaine could feel Warner’s eyes run over his body. He looked up at him hopefully to catch them at the end.
“Can you call me if you see him? Thanks!” Warner shot him a dazzling smile and turned to leave but not first sending a cold glare at Kurt.
Blaine watched as Warner walked away from him, yet again.
Kurt looked at him, his expression became solemn.
“Blaine, do you realize how drastically your mood changes when you see him?”
Blaine continued to stare at the spot that Warner had just stood. That was the longest conversation that they have had in months.
“I think that having Warner around is actually hurting your chances of excelling.”
“What?” Blaine broke from his Warner spell and concentrated on the other boy in the room.
“You are so focused on impressing him and making him like you that you become almost a different person. You focus more on his well being than your own. You care too much about him and what he thinks of you.”
“I do.”
“You never challenge him in class because you don’t want him to look bad.”
“I don’t.”
“He clearly does not care about you in the way that you care about him. You are not allowing you to be the best you can because you are so concerned in what Warner thinks.”
A light bulb clicked on. “You are right…again, you are so right.”
Kurt smiled.
“I need to show him my worth but putting on my game face and displaying only my best work. I need to go toe to toe with Warner and show him that I deserve to be here. “
Kurt pressed his lips together.
“No more excuses.” Blaine picked up the outfit that Santana had just discarded. “I am going to win him back!”
He put the dress on the dress form and turned to Kurt.
“I need to get re-focused. Can you help me with this skirt?”
Kurt picked up the pin cushion and tossed it to Blaine. “Of course. Let’s kick his ass!”