♥ ♥ ♥

After extensive research and thorough hands-on investigation of the subject, I have come to the conclusion that fooling around on a bed with Blaine Anderson is my favorite, favorite, favorite thing to do on a rainy Sunday afternoon—any afternoon, really. Or morning. Or noontime. Or, you know, four AM. Since our unforgettable night in the hotel room post-prom, we’ve barely been able to keep our hands off each other.

Now, for example. We’re alone in the Anderson home, locked away in the safety of Blaine’s bedroom. His parents won’t be home for another hour. His hands are currently squeezing my ass as he kisses down my neck with boundless enthusiasm. He loves my neck; it’s become a thing for him. When he's got me in bed with him, it’s hard for me to believe he’s fifteen. Blaine is so young for our grade that there’s more than one reason people call him Mini-Cooper. That always makes me laugh, but he can’t stand the nickname.

Ugh. Don’t think about Cooper, stupid brain.

Cooper has been walking on eggshells around us, and we him. It’s hard to look him in the eye when he comes up to my locker and flirts with me, because all I can think is I’m in love with your brother. I never speak during those encounters, because I’m afraid I’ll inadvertently think out loud and reveal everything.

“Kurt?”

I snap out of my thoughts when I see my beautiful boy gazing down at me with a look of concern on his face. I’m flat on my back, and he’s straddling my thighs. It's a beautiful view.

“Kurt, are you okay?” he asks me, running a hand through my hair while propping himself up on top of me with the other. “Lost you there for a sec.”

“Oh, uh, yeah,” I respond a little sheepishly.

“Kurt, honey, what’s wrong?” Blaine asks me, his tone almost a whine. He lies down next to me, taking both of my hands in his. “Don’t tell me you’re fine. I know you’re not fine.”

I heave a sigh, reaching my hand out to stroke his cheek. “I’m worried, to be honest,” I confess. “I’m worried about how Cooper’s going to take...this.” I use the same hand to gesture between our bodies; a difficult task, as we’re pressed flush against each other.

Blaine sighs heavily, pulling me in even tighter, so close that the tips of our noses are touching and I can’t look him in the eye. “I’m scared, too, babe,” he whispers. “I wish I could be your knight in shining armor, tell you it’s all going to be okay, but I can’t.” He pauses, rubbing my back soothingly. “You know something, though?”

I nod, nuzzling his nose.

“You and me,” Blaine says, “we will be just fine. I love you, Kurt Hummel.”

“I love you, too, Bla—”

Before the words leave my mouth, we hear a sharp knock on the door, followed by the unmistakable squeak of the hinges. The two of us quickly jump into a sitting position on the bed; thankfully, we never made it under the covers, so nothing is amiss there. We pick up our phones from Blaine’s nightstand and busy ourselves pretending to text.

“Blaine? Have you seen my—oh...hey, guys.”

I look up nonchalantly. “Hey, Coop,” I greet him, my tone warm and friendly...and maybe a little bit flirty. I feel bad, but I have to keep up the charade.

“Hey, Kurt.” Cooper smiles back at me, but his face screams why are you in bed with my brother? “Hey, Beebee, have you seen my headshots?”

“Kitchen table,” Blaine replies, not even looking up from his phone.

Cooper, taken aback by Blaine’s coldness, nods curtly. “Uh...thanks. So...what were you two doing this whole time...alone in here...together?” His face is friendly, but his tone gives him away. He feels threatened, and I can tell from his face that he knows more than he should.

“Well, we were studying French verbs for Blaine’s test tomorrow, but we decided to take a Facebook break.” I smile, hoping my cheer will alleviate some of the profoundly awkward tension radiating throughout the room.

“I see.” Cooper smiles back at me, walking over to the bed and hopping on it. He rests his head on my lap, and my phone buzzes immediately.

Blainers <3: that little bitch

Kurt Hummel: baby deep breath

Kurt Hummel: mama deep breath

Kurt Hummel: daddy deep breath!

Blainers <3: baby I’M GONNA KILL HIM, mama BACK OFF COOPER HE’S *MY* BOYFRIEND, daddy AIN’T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT

“...prom?”

I look up from my phone, sneak a glance at Blaine—he’s still fuming—and ask Cooper to repeat the question.

“How was prom?”

A smile threatens to split my face open as the memories of prom—and prom night—come rushing back.

“Amazing,” I breathe. “Absolutely amazing.”

“Uh...great,” Cooper replies awkwardly. “Your first prom is always one for the ages. I’m glad Blainey could take you while I was grounded.”

“Yeah, don’t get so drunk next time,” Blaine pipes up, pressing buttons on his phone at a rapid pace. He hasn’t once looked Cooper in the face. He’s mad, he’s showing it, and Cooper is noticing.

“Why are you mad at—” Cooper’s voice rises, and he reaches out toward his brother, probably to snatch the phone. Once he makes eye contact with me, however, he thinks better of it and gets up to leave. “Never mind. I’ll talk to you later, Blaine. See you soon, Kurty.” Cooper winks at me as he saunters out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

Blaine looks up from his phone then.

“That was close.”

♥ ♥ ♥

Santana Lopez: Ayo, Kurt. Let me and Berry into your house in an hour. We got shit to discuss.

I won’t lie; Santana still scares me, even after all the months we’ve been friends. When she and Rachel arrive at my house, they practically carry me up to my bedroom and plop me down on a chair. Rachel sits primly at the foot of the bed, and Santana lies prostrate on the shag carpet.

Finally, someone speaks. It’s me.

“What the hell, you guys?” I cry. “What’s going on?”

“Rachel and I have been talking, as Brittany is out with mono,” Santana tells me slowly, as if I am a child. “We need to stop this plan, Kurt.”

“Oh, God, yes, we do,” I agree, closing my eyes and pumping my fists. “What have I been telling you?”

“I know we talked about it,” Santana adds, gesturing between herself and me, “but this is getting serious, Kurt. When you went to prom with Mini-Cooper, maxi-Cooper was pissed. Kept posting depressing shit on Facebook.” Santana eyes me curiously. “You seriously didn’t know about this, did you? How did you not see any of it?”

I confess that I haven’t been on Facebook in weeks; that I would delete my account if I didn’t need it to communicate with the glee club and old friends from New York.

“Should we...” Rachel trails off, sharing a look with Santana that can’t possibly mean anything good.

“We have to,” Santana sighs, resigned. “To the laptop we go.” Unprompted, she plucks my laptop out from under a throw pillow on the floor of my room, unplugging it from its charger. She flips it open and hands it to me so I can log in.

Once I’ve complied, we huddle around the fluorescent screen and watch as Santana pulls up her own Facebook news feed. After scrolling through a few posts—mostly pictures of Brittany’s cat, Lord Tubbington, which she undoubtedly posted in her mononucleotic haze—we come to a post by Cooper.

Cooper Anderson
I wish there was even one person I could count on :(

"They’re all like that,” says Rachel. “Some of them are clearly about you and Blaine, or Blaine and Cooper, or you and Cooper. Others are vaguer, but everyone knows by now that Cooper’s pining.” She shoots me a pitying look. “Kurt, I’m really...we feel just awful. If anything happens, I swear on behalf of Santana and Brittany, as well as myself, that we will come forward.”

Santana nods begrudgingly. “I mean, I’ve been blamed for worse,” she chuckles, throwing me a wink I choose not to try and interpret. “Like that time last y—oh, no.”

Rachel and I exchange a worried glance over Santana’s high pony, breaking away quickly to find out what has Santana so worried. Unfortunately for me, Santana closes the screen before I can see it.

“Kurt, I have to tell you...there’s a website that’s been around school for the past few years. It’s actually just a Facebook fan page that this one guy started...it’s called McKinley Gossip.”

“Oh, God,” Rachel interjects. “They didn’t—”

“I’m not done!” Santana cuts her off. “Kurt, it’s modeled after those ‘compliments’ pages a lot of high schools have, where people can message the admins anonymous compliments for people in their school and the admins will post them on the page.”

I nod. “My old school had one.”

“Yeah. So. Compliments pages. McKinley has one, too, but it’s fallen by the wayside. Its evil twin is alive and well, however, and its name is McKinley Gossip. I’m sorry we didn’t let you know about it, baby. Honestly, I didn’t even think to tell you.”

“Neither did I,” Rachel chimes in.

“I don’t get it—what happened?” I ask. Something unsettling has begun to roil in the pit of my stomach. This can’t be good; Santana hasn’t used any sort of sarcasm since we broached the topic.

“The thing about the McKinley Gossip site is that...well, basically, it’s like an amalgamation of a compliments page and Gossip Girl, hence the name. The administrator posts blind items about people, and then folks try and guess who it’s about in the comments section.”

I nod again. This sounds awful, but barely anyone at McKinley knows me well enough to spread rumors about me. I really feel for whoever it is these two are so concerned about, though—oh, God, I hope it isn’t Blaine.

“It’s, um...it’s not Blaine,” Santana stammers. Apparently, I’ve been thinking out loud. I feel a supportive hand, undoubtedly Rachel’s, on my shoulder.

“Just open it back up, Santana,” Rachel blurts out, exasperated. “We’re not doing Kurt any favors by dragging this out.”

Santana sighs heavily. “If you say so, Barbra.” With that, she opens my computer back up. It takes a while for my eyes to adjust—the room is dark, save for the light of the screen—but once they do, I know I’ll never be able to unsee the image before me. The message is this:

McKinley Gossip
Dating one, in love with the other – what’s a little sophomore to do when he finds out he’s landed himself in the OTHER city that never sleeps?

No. Oh, God, no. They know.

I grab onto Santana’s arm with clammy hands. I try to speak, to breathe, but my mouth has run dry. I can feel the color drain from my cheeks, rendering my complexion a ghostly white. I know I won’t be able to find my voice. My eyes fill with something like tears, but I know I’m not crying. My eyes are a metaphor for my life, as pathetically cliché as that sounds. They’re too full to contain everything entrusted to them.

“Kurt?” Rachel’s voice sounds far away, and her hand feels like a shadow as it squeezes my shoulder. “Kurt, are you okay?”

I swallow around the cashmere in my throat, trying my best to speak. “H-how do they know? Who t-t-told them?” I know I’m about to cry, and I tilt my head back to force the tears into my eye sockets.

“They have spies all over the school, Kurt,” Santana explains calmly, sounding nothing like her usual spitfire self. She wraps an arm around me, rubbing my upper back with her hand. “It’s how they operate. Someone was bound to find out. It’s not your fault, honey. It’s ours.”

“I could have said no,” I protest, but there is no power behind my words. I wouldn’t have, and all of us know it.

I hug my knees to my chest, letting the computer slide back to the floor. After a few minutes of numb silence, I let out the most minuscule sniffle possible; even I can hardly hear it, but it’s enough. The floodgates open, and I’m crying in earnest at the same time that my door swings open and crashes into the wall.

“Kurt, I saw it,” comes Finn’s voice from the doorway. I look up from my self-inflicted cocoon to find him standing over me. He kneels down and wraps me in a deep, tight hug. “I saw the post,” he clarifies to Santana and Rachel over my shoulder. “What are we going to do about this?”

“Well, um...nothing,” Rachel mumbles. “You can’t go against McKinley Gossip without getting burned. Another perk of having the whole school bugged is that you can do anything you want to anyone who’s made you mad. Unless you want to get slushied in the halls every day, in addition to the weekly glee club ambush, you...you can’t do anything.”

Finn shakes his head, rubbing his scruffy face against my neck. Blaine’s going to wonder about that beard burn.

“No,” Finn nearly shouts. “I can’t just stand by and watch the entire student body trash my brother on some stupid website. It’s ridiculous, it’s unfair, and it’s happening to the sweetest, most loving person I know. I love you, Kurt, and I won’t let these assholes hurt my brother...or his boyfriend...or even his fake boyfriend. It’s not right.” With that, Finn gets up and storms out of my room, shutting the door gently behind him. He knows I hate doors being slammed, especially my own.

As sweet as my brother is, his words and promised actions are not enough to calm me. I’m still crying as I pick up my phone, shaky fingers dialing the one number I’ll never forget.

He picks up on the first ring.

“Hey, beautiful.”

“B-blaine?”

“Kurt, what’s wrong?”

“Have you, um, checked the McKinley Gossip Facebook page lately? Oh, right, you...you don’t have a Facebook anymore.”

“Kurt, is there something bad on there...about...”

Before I can respond, Santana makes grabby hands for the phone.

“It says...hold on. Santana wants to tell you, I guess.”

“Holding.”

“Ayo, Bootylicious. Here’s the most recent blind item: ‘Dating one, in love with the other...what’s a little sophomore to do when he finds out he’s landed himself in the other city that never sleeps?’”

“...Oh, God.”

“Hey, Blaine. It’s, uh, it’s Kurt again.”

“Darling, please don’t cry. I wish I could hold you, but we’ve got this stupid dinner thing at the country club. If I don’t go, my parents might actually murder me in my sleep. They're obsessed with appearances.”

“Does Cooper—”

“He’s going, too. I’ll...I won’t tell him.”

“Um. Yeah. That’s probably for the best. What he doesn’t know...and all.” In the background, I can hear pounding on Blaine’s door.

“Kurt...I have to go. My dad’s close to breaking down the door. I love you, honey. Don’t cry, okay? We’ll figure this out. Everything will be okay in the end.”

I hear a click and a dial tone, and immediately resume crying. “What is Cooper going to do when he finds out about this?”

I feel Santana’s supportive arm around my shoulders. “I don’t know, Kurt. There’s no way to know. When he finds out, he finds out, and we’ll play it by ear then, okay?”

I nod, wiping my eyes with my Marc Jacobs sleeve. I’m so upset that I don’t even care about the effect my tears will have on the silk of my shirt. “Okay.”

“I’ve got you, boo, and Berry does, too.” Santana stifles a laugh at her accidental rhyme. Rachel nods vigorously.

“Kurt, we are not going to let you take the fall for something we caused.” She shakes her head sadly. “A thousand sorries wouldn’t be enough.”

I wrap both girls up in a tight group hug. “Thank you,” I whisper.

In my mind, I’m preparing for every possible outcome with Cooper. I know that Santana and Rachel are trying to make me feel better, but the way they continue to emphasize their all-consuming remorse tells me that they know shit’s about to go down. They know Cooper will be angrier than I’ve ever seen him; angrier than when Blaine pushed him all those months ago, angrier than he was after Blaine and I sang together, and even angrier than he’d been with Blaine at prom.

I can only close my eyes, hope for the best, and pray that this doesn’t tear the Anderson brothers apart, that it doesn’t wound Blaine to his very core like I know it could.

♥ ♥ ♥

Three pints of ice cream and much, much later, we’re all asleep on various surfaces of my room. I’m on the bed, while Santana is still on the floor and Rachel is passed out across the length of my loveseat. I’m awakened by the incessant ringing of my phone, which is conveniently placed right under my butt.
I grunt and fish around for it, eventually unearthing it from under the comforter.

“Hello?” I rasp, clearing my throat immediately after.

“Kurt, it’s—it’s Cooper.”

Shit.

“Hey, Cooper. What’s, um, what’s going on?”

“I need you to meet me as soon as possible. We need to talk.”

“Oh...okay. Um, how about...not your house, that’s not...not a good idea.”

“No, it isn’t. How about the park by your house?”

“Oh, um, yeah. That sounds fine. I’ll be there in ten minutes?”

“I’m already driving. See you soon.”

I’m on my feet as soon as I hear the click; dressed and moisturized in five minutes. I fire off a quick text to Santana and Rachel, who are still passed out, telling them where I am.

Kurt Hummel: Cooper called me. Shit’s about to go down. I’ll call you once I get back, if I’m still alive.

I take a fortifying breath and walk out the door two minutes before I’m scheduled to meet Cooper.

This is the moment of truth.

♥ ♥ ♥

Blame it on my tiredness, my nerves, or the weight of my secrets, but I don't notice that I'm wearing Blaine's sweatshirt until I'm standing in front of Cooper in the park.

Idiot, I chastise myself. How could that have slipped your mind?

"Hi," I murmur timidly.

"Hi," Cooper replies. He stares into my eyes for only a few more seconds, but it feels like an eternity. He unearths his phone from his pocket, still staring, his face unreadable. He taps the screen a few times before holding out to me a screenshot I already know well.

McKinley Gossip
Dating one, in love with the other--what's a little sophomore to do when he discovers he's landed himself in the OTHER city that never sleeps?

"Care to explain why you're wearing his sweatshirt, and/or why I saw this on my newsfeed last night?"

He looks so hurt, so wounded, that it makes my heart ache.

"It can't be about anyone but you, Kurt."

"Cooper," I breathe, no power behind it, "I'm so sorry you had to find out this way...but I am in love with Blaine. I've been in love with him the entire time. I'm so, so sorry, Cooper. I lied to you, and I cheated on you. I two-timed the Anderbrothers, and that's not a thing."

Cooper coughs up a chuckle. "I think I kind of knew. Doesn't make it hurt any less, but I should have known sooner."

"I'm so sorry, Coop," I choke out, throat running dry.

"If you loved him from the start, Kurt, then why did you date me?" Cooper asks, exasperated. "You've been so...strange this whole time, but I misread the signs--I thought you were just an enigma. A challenge. For that matter, Rachel Berry and Santana Lopez have hated each other as long as I've known them, Kurt, but the minute you waltzed in, they became your best friends. It makes no sense, Kurt. No sense at all." He shakes his head, chuckling in disbelief. "I want the truth. No more mind games. Just tell me the goddamn truth, Kurt Hummel."

I feel a lump forming in my throat. This is the moment I've been dreading since September.

"You're going to hate me forever," I murmur. He says nothing, simply raising his eyebrow as if to say go on. "On the very first day of school, I sat down in study hall next to Rachel. Mr. Tanaka wanted to switch seats around so that close friends wouldn't be tempted to talk to each other, and Santana and Brittany ended up at our table. Rachel whispered to me about how she was dating you, Santana overheard, and the whole thing escalated into one big catfight. Long story short, we all ended up with detention, and on my way to the library, I ran into Blaine in the hallway...literally. We both fell to the ground, and he helped me up and walked me to detention. He gave me his number, and we started texting."

I pause for effect and look up at Cooper's face. He doesn't look sad or mad; just resigned.

"Later that night, the three girls showed up at my door and demanded I console them, since you'd just broken up with all of them. They decided that, since you broke their hearts, it was only fair that they break yours."

My gaze has fallen to my feet during my speech, and I raise my head back up to look straight into those eyes.

"Enter Kurt Hummel... professional heartbreaker."

Cooper’s jaw drops. He blinks rapidly, as if he’s trying as hard as he can to comprehend the information—or trying as hard as he can to hold back tears.

“So...wait. So, this was just a joke to you? I was just a joke to you? You were playing me this whole time?”

“Outplaying the player,” I croak, trying desperately to hold back my own imminent tears. That lasts all of about two seconds under Cooper’s angry gaze.

“Cooper, I’m so fucking sorry,” I sob. “I never meant for it to go this far. Santana and I tried to stop it, but—”

“But what, Kurt?” Cooper cries, letting the tears fall freely. “How fucking hard is it to stop a plan like that?”

“It’s...it’s not, really,” I murmur, looking down at the floor. “You have to believe me, Coop, that I never meant to hurt you. I wouldn’t have even gone along with the plan if it hadn’t been for the fact that I was new. I had no friends, besides Blaine, who I’d just met that day. I decided that if I went along with Santana, Rachel, and Brittany, I would guarantee myself three compatriots. And I did. It led me to a glee club full of people I can truthfully call my friends, and...and I’m in love. I grew to love you, too, Cooper, but...only as a friend.” I look back up at him, and he doesn’t look angry anymore—just unbearably sad. “I don’t expect you to forgive me. Just know that I care about you, and that I never, ever meant for any of this to happen.”

Cooper is silent for a good few minutes, but I know I can’t leave. I can’t, in good conscience, leave the park without knowing how this will end.

“Well, Kurt,” he says, “you got me. I fell for you. You reformed the player. Tell Rachel, Santana, and Brittany their little plan worked.” He turns on his heel and walks away from me.

No. No, no, no. “Cooper, wait—”

“I’ll see you around, Kurt,” he calls behind him, disappearing into the woods. It’s over.

♥ ♥ ♥

Unsurprisingly, Santana and Rachel are still at my house when I get back.
They’re situated at my kitchen table eating Eggo waffles, but the second they see the look on my face, they’re up and pulling me into my room.

“Thanks for the waffles, Burt!” Santana calls behind her. She drags Rachel and me into my room and shuts the door, turning the lock. “Kurt, what happened? Why is your face all wet?”

Rachel rolls her eyes. “He was crying, Santana. I’m aware that that's something you only do when you’re drunk, but it does register quite prominently on the spectrum of human emotion.” She touches my back tenderly. “Kurt, are you...I know you’re not okay, but...what happened?”

“Well, I mean, he saw the screenshot. I told him everything, including the plan, and I did name-drop. I was also wearing Blaine’s sweatshirt. That didn’t help. He...he walked away from me. The last thing he said was ‘you got me. I fell for you. You reformed the player. Tell Santana, Rachel, and Brittany their plan worked.’”

“Oh, Kurt,” Santana coos, hugging me tightly.

“My heart kind of...broke in my chest. Not in the love way, but in the...the I know that what I did was wrong way. I really hurt him, you guys, and I feel worse than you can even imagine. I’m in love with his brother. I’m dating his brother. I’m in glee club with him. We’re going to be seeing a lot of each other. What...what am I going to do?”

Silence. None of us know. It’s back to the drawing board for us if we want to figure out where to go from here. I don’t know much right now, but I do know that Operation I’m Sorry is going to take a long, long while.