Jan. 23, 2013, 11:11 p.m.
Because we’ll make it through : Chapter 5
T - Words: 1,258 - Last Updated: Jan 23, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 5/? - Created: Jan 08, 2013 - Updated: Jan 23, 2013 617 0 1 0 0
"Let's go back to mine, everyone's out and we can talk." Kurt whispered into Blaine's ear as he finally stopped retching and was collapsed back into Kurt's chest.
The ride in Kurt's car was silent as the two sat side by side, having agreed Kurt would drive and Blaine could return for his car later. Kurt kept one hand holding Blaine's tightly with the other on the wheel as he drove. As they got out of the car Blaine clung to Kurt's side as soon as Kurt took his hand again to walk into the house. It was as though Blaine was unable to function without him; in fact, Kurt had never seen those beautiful brown eyes look more tired. Kurt half carried Blaine up the stairs, tugging him towards his bedroom and they both collapsed onto the bed. It was clear that Blaine was moments from falling asleep but he kept his eyes locked on Kurt and the latter couldn't bear to see the pain in them any longer.
"Sleep, I'll still be here when you wake up, I promise, I love you."
Blaine mumbled something that was more than likely supposed to be an "I love you" before falling asleep. Kurt sighed, mulling over what Blaine had told him in his mind as he played with the smaller boys' soft curls. Kurt wasn't sure what was terrifying him most right now; the fact that he was going to become a father, something he never thought would happen never mind in high school, or the fact Blaine was honestly convinced that Kurt was going to abandon him and their child.
Did he really come across so self-centred that he would abandon the love of his life and their baby? He had seen the damage that Rachel Berry had done to so many of her relationships with both her friends and with boys that Kurt tried to reserve that for performances only. Did Blaine really think Kurt didn't love him enough to want to stay? Maybe Blaine had some slightly different anatomy but right now that was the biggest miracle Kurt could ever have wished for.
That thought alone made Kurt certain that even though he was just a little terrified of the fight they would have on their hands raising a child as teenage gay parents it was all worth it because the tiny life growing inside Blaine's belly right now was nothing less than a miracle.
Kurt couldn't stop the grin that spread across his porcelain skin. They were having a baby. There were so many questions running through Kurt's mind about how it happened at all to how he and Blaine were going to raise a child, but all of the questions could wait because he couldn't tear his eyes from the beautiful man in his arms. Kurt was certain that their lives had changed now and so he had the rest of forever to fret over what the future would hold for them, was it so bad he wanted a moment to be at peace with the thought of their miracle?
Kurt was barely aware of the fact he too had fallen asleep until the sounds of sleepy snuffling and warm breath tickling his ear woke him. He watched Blaine's long eyelashes flutter rapidly as he awoke slowly, clearly a little dazed as he took in his surroundings before his eyes met Kurt's with a hint of fear shining behind the beautiful gold. All Kurt could do was hold Blaine tightly.
"I'm not leaving, I promised you that I was never going to say goodbye to you and nothing is going to change that, especially not this." Kurt said softly but with a strong confidence, trying his very hardest to make Blaine believe him.
Back when they had first met Kurt thought Blaine was the panicle of self-confidence and assurance, but slowly he had learned that was very much a façade; a mask to protect himself from the pain he had been subject to from both his family and the bullies at his old school when he had tried to be just himself. But now Kurt knew the truth after being friends and lovers for this long, and he knew the ways to make Blaine see that the person behind the mask was perfect just the way he was. Kurt had to make sure Blaine knew he wasn't going to leave; yes Kurt had questions but it didn't mean he was going anywhere.
All Kurt wished right now was that Blaine would believe him, hoping that one day he would never doubt him. Everything inside Kurt was screaming out to Blaine, and wondering what he had ever done to deserve Blaine's doubt, yet knowing it wasn't his fault but the damage of Blaine's past.
Blaine finally looked up to meet Kurt's eyes "You promise?" A light was growing in those golden honey eyes, like a promise blooming and growing, and Kurt's heart swelled to know he was putting it back there where it belonged in Blaine's heart.
"I promise." Kurt pulled Blaine close and kissed him deeply. There was no finesse in this kiss, it was hot and endless with too much teeth and tongue as Kurt tried everything to make Blaine feel the physicality of his love and promise.
After losing themselves in each other for what could have been a moment or an eternity Kurt couldn't help but let all of his questions bubble to the surface. "How long, Blaine?" He asked with wonder in his tone as his mind fell back to the reality of a baby.
"Ten weeks." Blaine smiled back, moving out of Kurt's arms ignoring the latter's questioning look before lifting his shirt and pulling Kurt's hands to his belly. "I don't know if you can tell but it's there, only just but there's something. I noticed it a couple of days ago, my abs are fading." Blaine looked up at Kurt with a hopeful kind of happiness.
"I can feel it Blaine, I really can." Kurt whispered in awe.
To anyone who didn't know Blaine's body there would be no physical change, but Kurt knew Blaine's body almost better than his own and here it was plain as day. Blaine's abs were no more, instead his stomach was a little firm but smoothed over what were once firm abdominal muscles.
Finally Kurt took his gaze from Blaine's stomach with a hint of sadness in his eyes. "You do want to keep it don't you Blaine?" Kurt said quickly, as though ripping off a Band-Aid. "You were saying in the Lima Bean about me not wanting to be in his or her life so I thought that meant you don't want to get an abortion or go for adoption?" Now that this little life was a part of them Kurt wasn't sure he ever could let it go. "You do want this baby don't you?" Kurt was almost scared of Blaine saying no now.
Instead of a reply all Kurt received was a loud and happy laugh and a kiss planted directly on his lips. "Yes Kurt, of course yes, I was scared you didn't want this, that you would try to force me to get rid of the baby, I want it so much." Blaine was almost crying with joy in Kurt's arms. Well, maybe Kurt could deal with tears of joy for the rest of his life if it meant holding onto his beautiful boyfriend and their child for just as long.
"That's settled then." Kurt grinned widely, his own tears threatening to spill from his bright eyes. "Blaine Anderson, we are having a baby."
Comments
This chapter was really good. I am so glad that Kurt was able to make Blaine see that he wasn't going to leave and that he too was excited and willing to raise the baby. I look forward to seeing what happens next.