Jan. 23, 2013, 11:11 p.m.
Because we’ll make it through : Chapter 4
T - Words: 1,122 - Last Updated: Jan 23, 2013 Story: Closed - Chapters: 5/? - Created: Jan 08, 2013 - Updated: Jan 23, 2013 432 0 0 0 0
Blaine held his hot chocolate tightly between his hands on Saturday morning as he waited for Kurt at the Lima Bean after arriving almost an hour early because he hadn’t been able to sleep the night before in anticipation of this moment. Nothing could calm Blaine’s nerves now, nothing could distract him. His entire world was about to come crashing down and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
Kurt arrived at the Lima Bean five minutes before their arranged meeting time. In fact, Kurt almost always arrived first since he lived closer whereas usually Blaine would have to drive all the way from Dalton Academy in Westerville so it would take him longer to get there.
But things were different today, everything was different. Blaine was here first so it was Kurt sending him a wave from the end of the line at the counter to the seated boy. Blaine was clutching a hot chocolate rather than a medium drip. But when Kurt sat down opposite Blaine he still had that dreamy look on his face, like he really did love Blaine.
Blaine just wished this wasn’t going to be the last time Kurt looked at him like that.
A lump rose in his throat as Kurt sent him a questioning look; it seemed Blaine’s face wasn’t quite as composed as he hoped. He knew he had to do it, no matter how much he wished that he didn’t. The mere moments silence stretched out like an eternity in front of Blaine, though it wasn’t long enough; wishing it would last longer. Not wanting to do it but wanting to get it over with; like ripping off a Band-Aid.
“Kurt, I, we need to talk, I need to tell you something.”
With those simple words Blaine could feel his heart beginning to break; the beginning of the end as he watched the love in Kurt’s eyes drown in what appeared to be confusion and a fear; a look Blaine knew wouldn’t last long once the truth was out.
“Whatever it is Blaine we can work it out together, I promise, I swear I’ll help you and we can work through it, whatever it is.”
The tone of Kurt’s voice almost reflected the emotions in Blaine’s own head; that fear of loss. But that was about to change because in a moment Kurt would want to leave Blaine.
“Kurt, I'm-“
“If you’re ill Blaine we can get through it, I’ll be there for you; I promise I won’t leave you.”
The bile rose in Blaine’s throat but he fought through it, he had to say it.
Just say it and get it over with.
“I'm pregnant.”
The words tumbled out of Blaine’s mouth and he felt like he was going to be sick.
The look on Kurt’s face was unreadable as he stared at Blaine.
“What?” Kurt said the word much louder than his usual tone and the look on his face made it clear he wasn’t expecting the volume of his own voice. “Ha-ha nice joke Blaine very funny you had me so worried something was wrong especially after you’ve been sick.” Kurt was shaking his head and talking at a million miles per hour as though to try and convince himself Blaine was in fact joking.
“I'm not joking Kurt.” Blaine piped up in a small voice. “I'm- I'm sorry I didn’t tell you as soon as I found out but I just couldn’t bare it I couldn’t tell you I'm so sorry I just wanted to hold onto this- onto us, for as long as I could. Don’t worry about leaving me; I understand I'm a freak and that you don’t want me anymore, and certainly understand if you don’t want to be in his or her life. You have so many dreams, and I know you are going to do it all, you don’t want a freak like me holding you back or tying you to this town. You can just leave now. I just thought you had the right to know. I know it was unfair of me not to tell you when I got the results on Monday I just thought one more week, of pretending everything was fine would be okay, even if it was completely selfish, and if you hate me for that too I understand, we never have to see each other again because I’ll be at Dalton while you’ll be here in Lima at McKinley…”
Blaine only shut up because suddenly his mouth was occupied by Kurt’s lips pressing firmly against his, leaving Blaine completely speechless; mouth agape. The first moment of shock was that Kurt still wanted to even touch Blaine knowing now that he was some sort of genetic freak. The second was in the fact Kurt had just kissed him on the lips in public. The nearest the two boys ever got to kissing in public was pecks on the lips inside the safe haven of Daltons walls. All Blaine could do was look dumbly at the boy in front of him.
Kurt’s cheeks were glowing red as a blush crept up them and he looked down sheepishly. “I didn’t know how else to shut you up.” Kurt’s eye lids flickered as he finally looked back at Blaine, who still couldn’t believe that Kurt was still there and that he had just kissed Blaine. Kurt grabbed hold of Blaine’s hands between his own, holding him tightly in place as the shorter boy looked as though he were about to bolt as he feared for the next words from Kurt’s mouth.
“You are ridiculous; you are ridiculous and adorable and I love everything about you. I am not going to leave you. I do not think you’re a freak Blaine. I am certainly not going to leave you because you’re having our baby.”
Kurt was giving Blaine that glare; the glare he used to tell Blaine how amazing he was and how much he loved him when Blaine was feeling his worst; insecure after another fight with his father.
Blaine couldn’t process Kurt’s words; somehow the acceptance was harder to believe than the rejection he had spent the entire week expecting. He gaped for a moment, expecting the love of his life to laugh in his face and take it all back. Blaine couldn’t take it. He got to his feet shakily and pulled his hand from Kurt’s and ran through the café on unsteady legs before reaching the restroom and throwing up in the nearest cubical.
Moments later Blaine felt a warm hand on his cold but damp-with-sweat back, rubbing in soothing circles and murmuring endearments in his ear as tears traced down his cheeks.