June 10, 2012, 11:21 a.m.
Perfume and Promises: Chapter 5
E - Words: 1,874 - Last Updated: Jun 10, 2012 Story: Complete - Chapters: 14/14 - Created: Mar 29, 2012 - Updated: Jun 10, 2012 891 0 0 0 0
Blaine felt awful, but so damn good at the same time.
Kurt lay in his arms, dozing and naked under the sheets, with the sun casting a gold ray over his perfect face.
And all Blaine wanted to do was cry.
It was almost okay when they were just kissing. It seemed justifiable.
But now…they were fully cheating. It was proper now.
Blaine could only stare at the perfect, angelic boy – someone he thought would never do wrong – and now they were partners in crime.
Bonnie and Clyde.
Stupid.
"Blaine…you okay?" Kurt whispered, and Blaine closed his eyes.
"No." Blaine swallowed. "No, I'm not okay…"
Kurt sat up rather quickly, his eyes wide. "Are you…"
"Kurt, we just had sex! Kurt, you are married to another man, and we just had sex. What…do you…how can you feel so…"
"Don't blame me…" Kurt spat. "Because you wanted it as much as I did. You agreed to it, so don't you dare-"
"No…no, no…" Blaine cut him off, grabbing at him and pulling him close. "It's not that…I just…I don't understand how you can feel so….moral, about this."
Kurt didn't respond for a while, nestled in Blaine's arms. His heart was drumming rapidly, and Blaine could feel it.
"He hits me."
It was so quiet, that Blaine didn't know if that was actually what Kurt said, but it made his blood run cold just the same. Kurt felt him go rigid and pulled back, tears welling in his eyes.
"He hits me….he gets drunk, and he gets upset with me…." Kurt whispered, his eyes closing and a blush running up his cheeks.
Blaine's eyes flicked to his arm, to his collarbone, to his chest, where a deep purple bruises had formed, and Kurt caught his gaze and nodded.
"Sometimes I think he knows. I just…it seems to fit. He could know about us Blaine…or…what if it's karma?" He swallowed hard.
He started rambling, the tears spilling down his cheeks about how wrong everything was, and how he was being punished even if David didn't know what was going on.
All Blaine could do was pull Kurt into his arms, whispering to him that it wasn't his fault – it would never be his fault.
"Karofsky has always been like that." He whispered. "God knows it would only take alcohol to bring that side of him back. You didn't do anything wrong, Kurt…"
All of a sudden, Blaine could justify his actions.
^.^
An hour later, Kurt was calmer. He had showered, and now the two of them were sitting on the couch, stuck in an awkward limbo.
"I want to kill him." Blaine said softly, and Kurt's eyes widened.
"Blaine…"
"We need to at least report him…Kurt have you seen yourself? You've got more bruises than skin!"
Kurt shook his head frantically. "No, no…it's not that bad. Blaine, it's only occasionally." Try every night. "And most of the time I deserved it." Not. Kurt heaved a sigh. "Besides…He's getting better…" Worse.
Blaine shook his head. "Kurt, he is physically abusing you."
"He's just…"
"Kurt…"
"Blaine." Kurt was suddenly a lot firmer, a determined glare on his face. "I can deal with this on my own…okay?"
Blaine tried to hold his gaze, but the fierce look on Kurt's face made him break contact, and he nodded slightly. He didn't like it – he hated the thought of Kurt returning home and having to deal with Karofsky…it was almost too much to handle.
But everything was starting to fall into place – why Kurt had returned to him so easily – why he wanted the escape.
Understanding his intentions, Blaine was now happy to provide it.
^.^
Blaine sighed. They spent more time in bed than they did out of it. Not that Blaine minded, but he didn't know what to do anymore.
"Kurt?" Blaine asked softly, stilling Kurt's hands where they were trying to unbutton his shirt.
"Blaine…" Kurt whined, trying to catch Blaine's lips.
Blaine turned his head.
"Kurt, can we just…not?"
"Blaine?" The tremor in Kurt's voice was obvious.
Blaine grabbed Kurt's hands as he tried to step away, his gaze dropping to the ground.
"I'm sorry…" Kurt whispered, trying his hardest to pull away.
Blaine pulled him back, wrapping his arms around Kurt's waist and nuzzling into his neck.
"Look, I know you're…I know you're in this dark place…but I think you need to talk to David about this…"
Kurt's eyes got very wide and very scared, and he backed up out of Blaine's arms.
"Blaine, I can't!"
"If you talk to him, maybe you can work something out…"
"Blaine, he'll hit me…" Kurt almost whimpered.
Blaine held him tighter. "I know it sounds horrible…but Kurt…they're just bruises. They'll heal, and it'll be better for the both of you if you sort it out."
Kurt looked up at him, his eyes widening incredulously. "Blaine…"
"Look, Kurt…I'm sorry…but you can't do this anymore. It's wrong…and think of David…"
"Blaine….please…"
Blaine pulled Kurt onto the couch, bundling up with him.
"Do you want this to stop?" Kurt whispered. "Do you want to just…go back to New York and forget all about this?"
Blaine frowned. "No…I just…I don't want this to end badly."
Kurt closed his eyes, heaving a sigh.
"Do you still love him?" Blaine asked gently.
Kurt faltered, and his grip on Blaine's sleeve tightened.
"I don't…I expect you to, okay. I mean…that's got to be the only reason you're still with him…"
Kurt's grip tightened further. "Blaine…this isn't anything." He breathed. "I don't…you're my outlet, Blaine. That's all. If I leave David…this would stop."
Blaine went stone-like, his heart breaking. "Oh."
Kurt's eyes closed. "Blaine, you knew this."
"Yeah. Exactly. I do know it. C'mere." Blaine kissed him again, effectively shutting him up.
Kurt didn't know how to respond, because it really wasn't true anymore. Maybe it started out like that, but he was falling in love with Blaine. Everything he felt as a teenager was rekindled in an exhilarating way, and he had never felt more amazing with Blaine.
But he was still in love with David. Perhaps it was a different kind of love, but whatever it was, it was strong and overwhelming, and Kurt was constantly questioning what he wanted.
David – he was amazing and strong, and he was there when Kurt needed him. But Karofsky was abusive and emotionally damaging. Karofsky got drunk and he got mean, and it was horrible…
But Kurt loved him. Kurt didn't know why, but he did.
^.^
They continued to have sex, even though Blaine was insecure and hurt, and Kurt was confused.
For the six hours they had together every day, they could just pretend.
As time went on, Karofsky got worse. His hitting became more frequent and harder, and Kurt suffered more and more.
Still, he wouldn't – couldn't – say anything. Sometimes, in the mornings, he would wake up to Dave looking at him, a soft expression on his face that Kurt recognised as the face he made when they got married.
It gave Kurt hope, and he was clinging to it as tightly as he could.
"Do you go out, during the day?"
"Sorry?" Kurt asked, flipping the eggs before placing them on David's plate.
"Do you get out much when I'm at work? See friends or anything?"
Kurt's blood ran cold and he turned towards the stove, his heart hammering in his chest.
"I go to work sometimes….but no, I don't really have a lot of friends these days…too busy…"
David made a small noise of assent. "You don't mind that I go out every night, do you?"
Kurt paused. This could be the start of David's redemption. This could be him trying to make everything better.
"Well…I mean, on the weekends it's okay…but it'd be nice if you came home for dinner and…stayed home."
David was silent – Kurt couldn't gauge his reaction, so he turned, to see David looking sad.
"Dave…"
"I'm sorry." He whispered, his eyes closing. "I never wanted it to be this way."
Kurt turned off the stove and quietly moved over to his husband, sitting opposite him at the table. He didn't say anything, but he put his hand out to grab David's.
"It's okay." He managed to whisper, and David looked at his arm – several fingerprint bruises scattered his skin, and David's eyes closed.
"It's not."
"Dave, I love you. It's…it's really okay."
David squeezed his hand tightly, releasing a heavy breath. "I have to go to work. I'll see you after?"
Kurt let a small smile escape as Dave kissed him on the cheek, before heading out the door. He clenched his jaw tightly and pulled out his phone, scrolling to Blaine's number.
I won't be coming today.
He hesitated. He wasn't sure if he wanted this. This was the morning – Dave was sober and nice…
Would he go drinking tonight?
Kurt swallowed hard and sent the message.
He trusted his husband.
^.^
He ended up going to the office instead – he hadn't been in a few weeks – just to check on the projects.
"Kurt! Long time no see." Kristelle laughed as soon as he exited the elevator. "How are you doing?"
Kurt had worn a long sleeved turtleneck, very aware of the bruising on his arms and careful to cover them up completely. He smiled easily at her.
"I'm really good Kristelle. You?" he asked as they started walking.
"Always perfect!" she exclaimed, laughing in spite of herself. "Have you come to check up on us?"
"Not that I don't trust you, but…"
"You don't?" she grinned.
"Exactly. How is everything going?"
"Well, we sent seventeen more designs off to the manufacturers, and a couple of people have been wondering when you're doing another runway show…we've got…honestly, we've got shitloads that you need to look at…"
"You couldn't email them? Or mail them?" Kurt raised an eyebrow, comfortably getting back into the swing of things and loving the sudden energy that engulfed them.
"We could, but some of the designers wanted your face-to-face feedback…"
"Oh, they like being brutally bitch-slapped by my words? How nice for them." Kurt shook his head with mirth as Kristelle laughed. "Alright, we'll do that today then. What else?"
"Some people want to do accessories."
Kurt frowned. "Unless it goes with a specific outfit, no."
Kristelle nodded. They had been walking down a long hallway – Kurt's office was behind the third door, but he didn't go into it. At the end of the hallway, they exited onto a suspended walkway, looking down on a giant office.
This room was Kurt's pride and joy – not even the room that showcased his designs made him happier. The room below was set up into five quadrants – one for each season, and then one for extra work that didn't really fit anywhere else. That was saved for some of the more quirky ideas – ruffles and feathers and tails that nobody really wore out anyway.
"Hello everyone!" he called, and thirty designers grinned up at him with a wave.
He turned to Kristelle, raising an eyebrow. "Are they all always here?"
Kristelle laughed. "You pay them to draw all day. Of course they turn up."
Kurt shrugged. "People like working from home."
"These guys don't. I think it's the fact that you allow music to run in the background and they can eat whenever they want."
Kurt laughed. He was pretty lenient.
"Alright!" he spoke loudly so they could all hear him. "If you have something to show me, go put your name on the board."
Kurt ran his workspace like a classroom, and obediently, they formed a line and wrote their names down the side of the board.
"I'll be back in a few minutes, and then after I've seen each of your work, we'll have a meeting in the auditorium, okay?"
There was a chorus of assent, and Kurt grinned.
He loved working.