He poked Blaine awake sadly with Toronto in his lap. Seeing Kurt’s forlorn expression, Blaine wrapped him into a tight hug.

“He’ll turn off soon.” Kurt whispered, one hand on Toronto to stop him from falling as he hugged Blaine. “He’ll turn off and it’ll be over.”

“I know babe.” Blaine said gently. Kurt sniffed, hiding his sadness.

“Come on, you’ve got to get ready.” Kurt told him abruptly

“Why? School doesn’t go back to Wednesday.” Blaine asked sleepily, leaning in for another hug.

“Aren’t you going to take Tonto back with me?” Kurt asked in shock, his eyes wide.

“Of course babe.” Blaine said at once, sliding out of bed. “You go get breakfast and I’ll be down in a sec.” He told him, rushing into the bathroom.

Kurt sighed, slowly gathering up all of Toronto’s things, packing them back into his nappy bag. He packed the Dalton uniform back into its box, hiding it at the back of his cupboard before taking Tonto and his things downstairs, leaving the nappy bag near the door as he went into the kitchen.

He was sitting at the bench, miserably poking at his toast, hugging the baby tightly, when Toronto let out a short whimper, and Kurt’s eyes went wide. He cradled Toronto desperately to his chest and tried to figure out what was wrong.

He tried swiping his chest when Toronto didn’t make any more noises, but there was no receptive happy noise. Kurt’s heart stopped. This was it. Toronto practically went limp in his arms, the motor shutting off.

“No…” Kurt shook him gently, his eyes filling with tears and he tried swiping his chest again – trying the bottle, rocking him and even a nappy change before he let out a sob.

He turned sad eyes to the door as Blaine entered, rushing to his side as soon as he saw Kurt’s face.

“Babe, what’s wrong? What happened?” Blaine asked in concern.

“That’s it.” Kurt whispered in shock. “That’s it Blaine, it’s over. He’s dead.” Blaine hugged him tight and he burst into proper tears on his shoulder.

Blaine didn’t know what to say. He was close to tears himself, but he had to be strong - for Kurt. Kurt shuddered and sobbed into the sleeve of Blaine’s shirt for a good few minutes before he started to calm down. He pulled away from Blaine slightly and looked down at their baby. Their doll. The doll.

Kurt stroked the top of Toronto’s head sadly, tears still dripping down his face, a few sobs wracking his body occasionally.

“Hey…hey…” Blaine tried to console him, taking his shoulders. “It’s okay…”

“Blaine…” Kurt whispered. “I loved him…so much.”

“I know, I know.” Blaine moved behind Kurt, wrapping him in a tighter hug. He glanced at his watch. “We’re going to be late.”

“I don’t care.”

“Yes you do.”

“No I don’t.” Kurt snapped.

“Come on.” Blaine said, already having Kurt’s bag and the nappy bag over his shoulder. “If we don’t hurry Finn will beat us.”

Kurt nodded, getting up slowly, Tonto…The doll still cradled in his arms. He climbed into the passenger seat without complaint, watching as Blaine checked they had everything before starting the car.

-.-

The trip passed in silence, Blaine parking the car expertly before getting out, grabbing the bags before going around to where Kurt stood.

“Come on.” He said, holding out his hand. “Let’s get this over with.”

They stayed like that right up until Kurt knocked on the staffroom door. Mrs. Erikson rushed out to greet them, watching in mild amusement as first one, then the other hugged the doll tight, before handing it to her. She scanned him, unceremoniously dumping him back into the bassinet as they watched in horror, before cutting the bracelets off their wrists.

“Well done boys.” She congratulated them. “95%, you passed with flying colours.”

Kurt’s eyes were red from crying and he stared at Toronto’s sprawled shape, biting back tears.

“Thanks Mrs. Erikson.” Blaine spoke for Kurt, who was now clutching at Blaine’s arm and trying not to cry.

She nodded, giving them a comforting smile before shutting the door. Kurt closed his eyes, a few tears making tracks down his face. Blaine wiped them away comfortingly and kissed his cheek.

For once, Kurt didn’t object.

“I’ll come get you after school, okay? Call me if you need me.” Blaine pulled the solemn boy into one last hug.

Kurt didn’t cry during class. He made his way through the day, paying as little attention as he could get away with without getting into trouble. He ignored his friends at lunch when they tried to comfort him, and he swallowed the lump of a sob every time he thought of Toronto.

He was just a lump of plastic now. It wasn’t anything special.

Kurt trailed behind the crowds when the bell went, so much so that he was the last one out of the building, and the carpark was practically empty. Blaine leant against Kurt’s car, waiting.

Finally Kurt broke down, rushing to Blaine with tears streaming down his face and sobs spilling from him. Blaine was right there, catching him just before he hit the ground as he cried.

“Oh god Blaine, I miss him so much.” Kurt cried, ducking his head.

Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt – his life support.

“Yeah.” Blaine whispered. “So do I…and I’ve only just realised it too. You normally spend the day with him…and then you were there without him and…”

Kurt cut him off with another sob, pulling him tighter.

“I can’t Blaine. I need him. I kept hearing him – he was crying and he needed me and I couldn’t…there was nothing…”

“It’s okay. It’s okay.” Blaine was trying his hardest not to cry. His goddamn hardest. “We’ll get through this. We will.”

It took a while, but he finally managed to get Kurt to calm down enough to get in the car. They drove home, each trying their hardest to not break down before they got there.

They walked in with their arms around each other, Kurt clutching Blaine somewhat desperately, while Blaine held him to his side protectively. Carole saw him, mouthing silently over his head to Blaine.

“What happened?”

“We had to give Tonto back.” He replied just as quietly. “Is it okay if I stay again? Kurt needs me.”

Carole nodded.

“You know the rules.”

-.-

It took Blaine another ten minutes to get Kurt upstairs. Once there, he sent him for a shower, using the time to quickly use Finn’s bathroom for his own shower, and still managing to beat Kurt back, remembering to leave the door open

He watched as Kurt wandered slowly into the room, dressed in his comfort pyjamas, and clutching the teddy bear Blaine had given him a while ago. He climbed straight into Blaine’s lap, crying onto his shoulder again. Blaine rocked him comfortably, waiting until his tears eventually stopped, and Kurt started to sniffle.

“I think we should get some sleep. It’ll feel better in the morning, when we’ve slept properly.” Blaine told him gently, playing with his hair and still managing to hold back his sadness.

Kurt nodded into his shoulder, leaving it to Blaine to lie them both down, snuggling into his shoulder.

They were lying chest to chest, eye to eye, clutching each other tightly. Blaine gazed at Kurt sadly. Kurt’s grey-blue eyes were red and puffy, brimmed with tears. Blaine kissed Kurt’s nose gently.

“Sleep babe.” He said gently, and Kurt closed his eyes obediently with a small nod. Blaine shifted even closer, his lips resting against Kurt’s forehead.

He didn’t realise it was going to be this hard – for both of them.

-.-

Burt, coming home late that night, shook his head tiredly as he noticed the open door to Kurt’s room, closing it on his way past, no longer even bothering to look inside. He really didn’t want the baby to wake him up again.

-.-

Kurt woke up, pressed closely against Blaine. His eyes felt sore and scratchy, and he found Blaine breathing deeply beneath him. Toronto wasn’t there. The bed felt empty.

Blaine’s breathing hitched and changed as he slowly woke up.

“Morning baby…”

Baby. Kurt’s eyes watered again.

“Oh Kurt…” Blaine wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, no longer sleepy.

“It still hurts.”

They got up silently, no more words needed. Slowly they got ready to go, Blaine packing all of his clothes away into his bag. It wasn’t until they were outside, Kurt about to get in his car to go to school, Blaine about to get in Wes’ to go back to Dalton, the older boy having come to pick him up, that they spoke again.

Blaine hugged Kurt tightly, hating the sadness in his eyes.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” he promised.

“Tomorrow’s a long way away.”

“I know. Hang in there.”

“I’d better go.”

There was a bit of silence, but neither boy moved.

“Hey…Kurt…” Blaine started. “It won’t hurt forever.”

Kurt sighed. “How do you know?”

“I don’t really, but…”

“But what?”

“Well…” Blaine gave Kurt a small smile, opening the door to Wes’ car. “Just wait until we have one of our own…”