Chapter 5 – Secret Planning

The days between visiting with Blaine’s parents and today were a little disjointed. Kurt guessed that maybe they were fairly normal except the fact that Blaine seemed preoccupied a lot. He was constantly not paying attention to what Kurt was saying and often leaving for several hours at a time. They had made love a few times since then, but Blaine was constantly saying he needed to run errands. He would leave for a few hours and then back home. Blaine seemed especially tired some nights and Kurt tried to not worry about anything. When he asked Blaine, Blaine would brush it off to moving back into the dorm and getting ready for school to start. Kurt just had a bad feeling that something wasn’t right. He figured Blaine would tell him when he was ready.

Blaine had so much to get ready before school started and then he added moving to the equation. Keeping a secret from Kurt was killing him. He could tell that Kurt was worried about it. He didn’t come right out and ask. Blaine was thankful for that, because there was always a chance that he would give in and tell Kurt. He hated to lie to Kurt and if he asked outright, Blaine questioned if he could lie straight to Kurt’s face. Blaine didn’t have time to worry about that. He knew as soon as he brought Kurt to their new home things would be perfect as they should be.

2 days before school starts

Sunday afternoon found the couple in Kurt’s room sitting on the bed talking. Kurt was looking at the last issue of Vogue and Blaine was looking through sheet music for the Warblers. Things were getting into school mode. School starts on Wednesday’s in Ohio so that the kids could have a short week to get acclimated back to the grind of the school day.

Blaine seemed to have a full wardrobe housed at Kurt’s place and it became odd to Kurt that Blaine suddenly started to take more and more things home a few days ago. School was starting in a few days, so Blaine wouldn’t be needing his street clothes for too many things. Dalton Academy Uniform was required until after school activities were done, so Blaine usually only wore his street clothes when he was with Kurt. Most of the guys would usually wear shorts or sweat pants around the dorms. They wore jeans but Blaine really didn’t need his whole wardrobe.

“Blaine, where are all of your clothes?” Kurt hoped that he could get some information on what was wrong. He still couldn’t shake the feeling that Blaine was up to something. He was still leaving at random times to do things by himself. It wouldn’t have been suspicious except the fact that everything they do, they do together. With school starting and the distance just sitting there eating at him every day, Kurt found himself more paranoid that this was the end of them.

“Oh. I’m just packing them for school, Babe. You know I’ll need them for after school and stuff.”

“But, you’ll be here with me on most of the weekends.” Kurt looked so distressed and Blaine was trying so hard to keep it a secret. He hated to see Kurt so upset, but he reasoned that the happiness he would see in Kurt’s eyes in a mere two weeks would overshadow any of this.

He was so excited when he and his dad made an offer on the condo the week before and the buyer accepted it. Blaine had already begun moving his things into the condo. Most of his clothes were already there. He still hadn’t closed on it, but it was approved just waiting for a closing date. The owner was thankfully acceptable to him moving his things in. He kept having to sneak off to do work at the condo and make excuses to Kurt. Blaine wanted it to look like home when Kurt moved in. He still had big items to go, but JR told him that a mover would do that after he started back to Dalton. JR and Catherine pitched in for a new TV and kitchen items. Burt pitched in for a new sofa and chair for the boys. Most everything else was something from the Andersons or the Hudson-Hummel home.

“And sometimes you’ll be with me on the weekends. I have to have your favorite clothes to wear when you’re with me.” Blaine reasoned.

Kurt wasn’t buying it. “Okay.”

Blaine could tell that Kurt was really upset over all of it and hoped that school or glee club would keep him busy for at least the first two weeks of school until they left for New York City. It just figured that he finally got the closing date for the condo and it was the next day. He needed to find a way to get away from Kurt without it being suspicious. “Kurt. I need to head out to Dalton tomorrow morning. I have to do school orientation for the incoming freshman and then we have a Warbler tryout in the afternoon. The Warblers usually stay late to discuss and vote on new members. Then I have to do another orientation the next day and second day of tryouts or callbacks.” Blaine looked sad. “I’m sorry. I forgot to tell you about it earlier.”

“Will this be it before the first day of school then? I guess until the weekend?” Kurt was going to cry. Blaine could tell.

“I’m sorry Baby. I think so. I would change it if I hadn’t already volunteered to do the orientation.” Blaine put the puppy dog sad eyes on and Kurt was always a sucker for them.

“If that’s what you have to do, then okay.” Kurt had tears in his eyes and Blaine wanted to spill everything. It took every ounce of strength not to pull Kurt into his arms and tell him everything.

“Hey. Call Rachel and Mercedes. Maybe you guys can have a girls sleepover tomorrow night and you won’t be so lonely.” Blaine was rubbing Kurt’s arm and kissed him on the forehead. “I love you so much Kurt. I hate to see you sad. What do you want me to do?”

“Not go. Stay here with me.”

“You know I can’t.” Blaine’s heart was breaking in two and now he really wanted to spill. “But also, we’re leaving for New York City in two weeks. We’ll be staying at my Grandad’s apartment and we’ll go out for dinner and just explore the city. It’ll be so much fun.”

Kurt was still upset but accepted the whole story. While Blaine continued to look through the music, Kurt did just what Blaine suggested. He texted Mercedes and Rachel and invited them to sleep at his house. All the parents knew Kurt was gay, so there were no issues when they asked to sleep over.

Kurt was quiet the rest of the night and Blaine was sad, but relieved that he didn’t have to talk and spew out more lies. He hated this. He never wanted to lie to Kurt. Ever. But this was for a good cause.

Sleep came early that night with Blaine holding Kurt in his arms tightly. Instead of spooning, they slept facing each other and Kurt buried his face into Blaine’s chest. When Kurt thought he was asleep, he heard Kurt softly crying into his chest. He felt Kurt trying so hard not to cry too loud, but it was most definitely crying. Eventually, they both fell asleep wrapped in each others arms.

---

Morning was unwelcome to Kurt. Blaine had to leave by 10:00 for the little more than an hour drive to be there for orientation at 12:30. “I can’t believe you sprung this whole orientation on me yesterday when you had weeks to tell me.”

“I’m sorry, Kurt. I told you I forgot that I signed up to do it. I can’t back out.” Blaine did look very upset over it, so Kurt tried to believe him. Something just didn’t sit right because Blaine never forgot important things like that. Kurt sat at breakfast and didn’t even touch his toast. The coffee was welcome since Kurt felt like he didn’t even sleep. “Now, I need to leave, but I’ll call you tonight and I’ll see you Friday night, okay?” Hi kissed Kurt. “Have an awesome first day of school.”

“Fine.” Blaine leaned in to give him one last kiss and all he got was a chaste kiss from him. This was going to be torture. It will be five days of not being together. They barely went five minutes apart in the last three months. Kurt watched the black BMW drive out of sight and ran up to his room to cry yet again.

Burt decided to come home for lunch to check on Kurt after receiving a text from Blaine that Kurt was really upset that he had to leave. Blaine had explained that he was closing today on the condo and then tomorrow he had to transfer utilities and was going to shop for a few more things to get the condo ready. He had to give some excuse to Kurt because the furniture was set to be moved on the first day of school. Burt got home and the house was silent until he got upstairs. He could hear Kurt crying as he leaned against the door.

Burt decided to knock lightly and see if Kurt wanted someone to talk to. He knew he couldn’t tell Kurt the plan. “Hey kiddo. What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Kurt turned to him and Burt was shocked how pale and sad Kurt looked. It was mostly alarming because it had been a long time since Burt had seen Kurt look this bad.

“Hey dad. I think Blaine is lying to me about something.”

“Kurt, why do you say that? I’m sure it’s nothing. School is in two days and you’re just upset about it is all.”

“No, I really think he is lying. He never forgets about things and he told me last night the he forgot he had to do orientation at Dalton for new students. I know it’s a lie.” And he did know.

Burt looked confused. Why do you say it’s a lie, Kurt. “You and Blaine have been so busy this summer, traveling and getting ready for senior year. Don’t you think it’s a possibility he forgot?”

“Promise me you won’t be upset?”

“Hmm. Okay, but I reserve the right to be disappointed in you after you tell me whatever it is you plan on telling me.”

“Yes, fine.”

“Okay. After he told me about the orientation thing yesterday. I told him I was texting the girls to come over, but I was really texting Jeff at Dalton.”

“Kurt, why would you do that? You have to trust Blaine.” Burt couldn’t believe that Kurt was that worried.

“I do Dad, well, except for this time. But that’s not the point of me telling you. Jeff told me that Blaine isn’t doing orientation. Jon and Trent are scheduled to do it.” Kurt had tears running uncontrollably down his face and he was sobbing. It hurt Burt’s heart to see his son hurt this much when he knew everything that was going to happen. This was not his secret to tell and he wouldn’t betray Blaine’s trust like that. “Why would he lie to me. I thought he loved me. We were going to get married. He wanted that. WE wanted that.” Kurt buried his head into his pillow.

“Kurt. Has Blaine ever given you any reason to not believe him?”

“No.”

“Then you need to trust him. Maybe he is planning a surprise for you and didn’t want you to suspect it. Blaine has always been honest with you. I don’t think he is doing anything bad.” Burt rubbed Kurt’s back and stood up. “Everything he ever does is for you. Okay?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to eat lunch with your old man?”

“I’m not too hungry. I think I’ll just take a nap.” Burt left the room and as he made his way back downstairs his heart broke as he heard his son mumble something and then start crying again.

---

Blaine was the official owner of a 2 story 2 bedroom condo with a loft. He was so excited that he now had a place that he and Kurt could call their own. They would live there for the school year and then move to New York City next summer. Blaine was giddy until he got the text form Burt.

Burt to Blaine:

He’s not doing well Kid. He knows your lying because he texted some other kid at Dalton to confirm it.

Blaine to Burt:

What? Why would he do that?

Burt to Blaine:

He said it wasn’t like you to forget something that important. When I left his room he was crying and mumbled something that I didn’t get.

Blaine to Burt:

Should I tell him?

Burt to Blaine:

I don’t know. It’s up to you Kid. At least he’ll be back in school and have some distraction in a few days. Maybe you should text him something later though. You know Kurt.

Blaine to Burt:

Okay. I probably should.

---

“Rachel can you come over? I don’t want to be alone anymore, even though it must be my destiny.”

“Kurt, what’s wrong? Are things okay with Blaine?”

“I don’t know. They seem okay, but he’s been lying to me about some things and I don’t know why. My Dad tells me to stop worrying and that Blaine loves me, but I can’t help think…. I don’t know.”

“Kurt. You’re overreacting. I’m sure it’s nothing.”

“Just… I need someone to talk to.”

“Trust him. He won’t hurt you.” Rachel sighed into the phone. “I’ll be over in a few.”

Fifteen minutes later Rachel was walking into Kurt’s bedroom to find him in the same position he had been in all day. “Sweetie. Why do you think he would hurt you?”

“Rachel, he’s been lying to me. He probably doesn’t want to tell me how disgusting I am. I think he might be cheating.”

“What? Wait! No Kurt. Blaine would never.” Rachel couldn’t believe that. “He’s with you all the time.”

“But, he’s been leaving a lot lately. He’ll be gone for hours and then sometimes he’s really tired at night and falls asleep.”

“I’m sure he’s just getting ready for school, just like you are.”

“Maybe he finally realized that I’m just damaged. I’m not good enough for him. I’m tainted.” In the back of Kurt’s mind resting deep in there, the memory of Paul’s hands on him. He wanted to vomit, but he knew he couldn’t. He didn’t eat anything today.

Rachel stroked Kurt’s cheek and his hair as he laid there on his side crying. This is the worst that Rachel had seen him in a long time. “Sshhh. Kurt, everything will be fine. You’ll see. This is just a misunderstanding.”

Suddenly, Kurt sat up. “Rachel you need to go with me to Dalton.”

“What? Why?”

“I need to see what he’s doing.”

“Kurt. I don’t think….”

Kurt cut her off. “I think I need to do this. Please, you’re my best friend.” She couldn’t argue with him and she didn’t want him to go alone, so she relented.

---

Papers were signed and Blaine was back at Dalton with just a few things. He would live out of his suitcase for the next two weeks until they left for New York and then the huge surprise.

As he reached his room, he saw a kid wandering around. “Can I help you?”

“I’m looking for 230.”

“Oh. 230 is down the opposite hall. At least you’re on the right floor.” Blaine smiled. “I can show you there.” Blaine took the boys hand and pulled him in the right direction before releasing it. This boy was definitely a freshman. He looked young and timid. He had light brown hair and blue eyes, but not as exquisite at Kurt’s. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Ethan.”

“He Ethan, I’m Blaine.” He opened the door up for Ethan and held his hands out. “Home Sweet Home.”

“Thanks Blaine.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Uh.. Blaine?”

“Yeah?”

“Is there a mall close to here? I need to pick up a few things for my room. I hope it’s walking distance because I’m not old enough to drive.”

Blaine looked at the freshman sadly. He remembered what it was like to be new here and be stuck on campus not knowing anybody. “I can take you. It’s not quite walking distance, but there are busses that go there from here. Plus, I need to pick some things up too.” Blaine was going to get the sheets that Kurt liked for their bed.

“You would take me?”

“Sure. I was new once.” Blaine sat on the desk chair. “Why don’t you put your things down and tell me where you’re from and about yourself.”

“Well. I’m Ethan Jenson. I’m from a suburb near Cleveland. I’m 14, but I’ll be 15 soon.”

“What brings you all the way to Dalton?”

Ethan looked nervous immediately. “I was having a hard time at my other school.” Blaine immediately knew. Ethan was there for the same reason Blaine himself was there.

“Are you gay?” Blaine decided to get it out in the open between them. Ethan looked terrified. “It’s okay if you are. There is no tolerance bullying policy here. It’s never had to be enforced before and probably never will.”

“I’m so used to getting called names.”

“Well, I certainly won’t do that to you. I’m gay too.”

Ethan looked shocked. “You are?”

“Yes. But I am transferring in two weeks. I’m going to a new school to be with my boyfriend Kurt.” Blaine figured it would just be easier to say boyfriend than have to go through the long story about their engagement. “But until then, I can show you around and introduce you to people. You’ll love it here. We can talk on the way to the mall.” Blaine led Ethan toward the Dalton parking lot and his car.

“Wow! Blaine, you must be rich. This car is awesome.” Ethan stood there staring at Blaine’s BMW. Blaine loved his car but after driving the Maserati in Europe he was not so enthralled by it anymore.

“Come on Ethan. If we stare at it too long, it will turn into a pumpkin.” Blaine opened the car door for Ethan and motioned for the boy to get in. “Let’s go to the mall and get that stuff we needed.”

---

Kurt needed to see Blaine he reasoned. He needed to see him on campus. “Kurt this is really not a good idea.” Rachel didn’t know what was going on and texted Finn.

Rachel to Finn:

Kurt and I are going to Dalton. Something is up and I don’t know what. Do you?

Finn to Rachel:

What do you mean up? Blaine and Kurt?

Rachel to Finn:

Yes. Maybe you should call Burt. Kurt is really upset and we are already in his car headed to Dalton to spy on Blaine. Kurt is really, really upset.

Finn to Rachel:

I’ll text you when I know something.

Rachel to Finn:

K. Hurry. We are only 30 minutes away.

---

Finn called Burt in panic. “Burt, do you know what’s up with Blaine and Kurt?”

Burt was shocked to hear Finn asking. Finn had been at football two a day practices for the last few weeks and not around a lot. “What do you mean?”

“Rachel texted me and said the Kurt is really upset and they are on their way to Dalton. Kurt is going to spy on Blaine.”

“Damn. I knew it.”

“What?”

“Blaine was closing a deal on a condo in Lima’s school district. He is transferring to McKinley, but not for another 2 weeks. When they came back from New York City, Blaine was going to surprise Kurt.”

“Really. Burt. That is awesome.” Finn thought for two reasons. Having Blaine in New Directions and he was coming there for Kurt. Finn loved them both so much. “Then this is not good.”

“No it’s not. I knew Kurt was upset, but I didn’t want to ruin Blaine’s surprise. I couldn’t betray Blaine’s trust by telling Kurt.”

“I wouldn’t either. That’s huge!”

“Can you make sure Rachel doesn’t tell Kurt?”

“I will.”

Meanwhile in Kurt’s car. “Darn. Kurt, my phone just died. Do you have yours.”

“No. I left it on my bed.”

“What if we needed a phone.”

“I thought we had yours.”

She held it up. “Which is now dead.”

Finn texted but got no response and then tried to call and it went straight to voicemail. Either it was turned off or dead. Finn texted Burt in what little time he had on break.

Finn to Burt:

Rachel’s phone is either dead or turned off. We can’t get any information to them.

Burt to Finn:

I guess we just let it alone and hope that Kurt doesn’t overact.

Finn to Burt:

Right.

---

As Rachel and Kurt were getting out of the car, they saw Blaine walk out with a boy about Kurt’s height with light brown hair and blue eyes. Kurt hid behind a row of cars to watch what they were doing and tried to catch what they were talking about. Blaine was with another boy. His heart sunk to a place he didn’t even know existed. Some huge hole in his chest opened up and consumed his heart in that millisecond.

“Maybe he was just giving him a tour and they stopped to look at his car?” Rachel hoped he would believe that.

“Right.” Kurt could feel the tears welling but refused to let them fall. Just as he responded to Rachel he heard Blaine say, “Let’s go to the mall and get that stuff we needed”. He even opened the door for the boy. Kurt’s heart tore in two. Blaine was getting stuff for a ‘we’ that was not him. He knew it. Blaine didn’t know how to break it off so he waited until school started to get the distance between them. He must have thought about it that night at his parent’s house. That’s why Blaine was so quiet. He changed his mind about Kurt. Maybe he couldn’t get the idea of Kurt being damaged from his mind and decided that he couldn’t go through with it.

Rachel had not gotten as close as Kurt so she didn’t hear anything that went on. Kurt turned to her and he looked like he was going to burst into tears and then turned toward the dorms. “Kurt, where are you going?”

“I’ll be right back. Wait for me in the car.” He tossed her the keys.

Kurt made his way to the dorms and to the familiar room that was Blaine’s. Blaine hadn’t moved that much in. Kurt instinctively when to the closet to see what was there. It was mostly empty, further proving that he wasn’t moving his clothes here. Kurt let the tears fall and went to the bathroom for a tissue to find the bathroom rather empty also. ‘How did I get here?’ Kurt crossed to Blaine’s desk and saw Blaine’s phone left there. He found a piece of paper and pen and started to scribble words. What was he going to say?

Dear Blaine,

I’m sorry that you had to break it off with me this way. I would have hoped that you would be able to do it to my face, but I know I would have made it so difficult for you. I understand why you had to break up with me this way. It’s much easier. I just wish I hadn’t seen you with another boy so quickly. I hope that he makes you happy. At least I know why you’ve been so busy in the last week. I just wish you would have told me instead of me seeing it.

I think I understand why you don’t want to be with me. I guess I don’t really blame you. Maybe if I was a stronger person that you could be proud of, this would have worked better. Maybe if I could’ve fought back harder I wouldn’t have been touched by him. You deserve someone who is perfect and not damaged. You deserve the best.

I think this is as strong as I can be. I’m going to do the toughest thing I have ever done. I’m going to give you what you want.

Here is your ring. I know someday you’ll find someone else that you’ll want to give this to. I’m sure the engraving can be redone. I only hope that whoever it is will love you as much as I do. I don’t hate you. You were my best friend and you helped me through some of the worst times in my life. You stood by me through some of the hardest things I’ve ever had to deal with. I know I can be difficult. I’m sorry.

I’m not going to make this harder on you because you did it this way for a reason, and I respect you, but know that you will always be my first love, my only true love. I don’t know if I will ever be able to love someone as much as I love you, but I hope to someday. I will love you always.

Yours,

Kurt

Kurt was sobbing uncontrollably when he put Blaine’s phone and his engagement ring on the piece of paper so that Blaine would see it. He returned to Rachel and fell into her arms sobbing. She took to the driver’s seat and drove them back to Lima.

When they got to the Hudson-Hummel house. Rachel ran inside. “Burt, Kurt’s in the car. He’s crying and I can’t get him to talk to me. Burt, it’s really bad.” Rachel was really shaken up by the pain that Kurt was in. She wrapped her arms around her mid-section just trying to warm herself.

Finn came around the corner sensing immediately that something was terribly wrong. Rachel looked totally wrecked. “Did you get my messages?”

Rachel burst into tears. “No. My phone died. What’s going on?” Burt rubbed his forehead and shook his head. “Kurt mumbled something about Blaine calling everything off.”

Finn had a look on his face like he was a failure. “Crap. Kurt must think Blaine is cheating on him but he’s not. He bought a condo in Lima and is transferring to McKinley to be with Kurt. He’s been keeping it a secret and wants to surprise Kurt when they come home from their college visits.”

“Finn, Burt. Kurt left his ring there. I don’t know where, but when he came back to the car, he wasn’t wearing it and he’s been crying since we left.”

Burt was so upset. “Kurt just can’t leave things alone. I’ll go get him. Let’s see if we can get Blaine and then we will need to sort all this out. We’ll need to wait for Blaine to resolve it all. Does anyone know where he is?” Rachel had a look of hesitation on her face. “I don’t know exactly where, but I saw who.”

“What do you mean who?”

“He was getting into a car with another boy.”

---

Burt saw his son totally broken down in the front seat of the car. “Hey Kid.”

“Dad, why? I love him so much.” Kurt’s eyes were red and swollen from crying. “Love..him...loved..me.”

Burt picked Kurt up cradling him. He hadn’t held Kurt like this since he was very young. “It’ll be okay Kurt. I promise.”

“Dad, I feel so lonely. It hurts.”

“I know, Kid.”

“What am I going to do, Dad? I love him so much and I feel less than whole without him.”

“We’ll work it out. We will.” Burt laid Kurt down on his bed in his room. “You rest for now Kid.”

---

Blaine reached for his phone to find that it wasn’t there. “Crap. Ethan, we need to make this a quick trip. I left my phone back at the dorm and I need to be able to get a hold of my boyfriend.”

“Is he that needy?” Ethan was laughing.

“No it’s not that. You know how I said that I’m transferring in two weeks?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, it’s a surprise and he doesn’t know. He’s been a little upset with me over the last few days because I keep taking off and not telling him where I’m going. I’ve been moving behind his back and making up excuses. Today, he thinks I am doing orientation at Dalton and he got upset.”

“Blaine, he sounds like he’s kind of a control freak.” Ethan wasn’t trying to be mean, but honestly Blaine was kind of cute and he was really nice.

“Ethan, you’re a nice guy, but I can’t go into all of this with you since I’m leaving soon. He’s not just my boyfriend, he’s my fianc�e and we don’t keep secrets from each other. We’ve been through way more than the standard bullying and we are each other’s everything. The background of all of this isn’t important. So, can we just hurry so we can get back?”

“Sorry Blaine. I didn’t realize…” Ethan looked sympathetic.

“No. It’s not your fault. I didn’t tell you.”

“I’ve never had a boyfriend. I transferred here because I had just come out at my school and the bullying started. I was hoping we could still be friends.” Ethan looked hopeful.

Blaine smiled. “We can try. I’ll probably visit, but trust me. You’ll make friends here just fine.”

Blaine was so proud of the sheets he bought. He was sure Kurt would approve of the 700 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets he bought. Blaine was all smiles leaving. “You seem happy Blaine.” Ethan stated, but it was really a question.

“Kurt makes me happy. He makes me want to be a better person. Maybe I will bring him by so you can meet him. After the move, of course. I am really looking forward to surprising him.”

“That would be nice. You could be my gay couple role models.”

“Oh my God. That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” Blaine was laughing so hard. They pulled into the Dalton parking lot and made their way to their respective rooms.

As soon as Blaine opened the door to his room he saw the ring sitting there in the sunlight on his desk, in plain sight. His phone was right next to it. His heart was beating out of his chest with worry. “What the hell?” He picked up the ring and started panicking. Why was Kurt’s ring here and then he picked up the paper to read it. Blaine started sobbing as he read through the entire letter and he was a mess as he got to the end.

He immediately picked up his phone and called Burt.
Burt sighed as he looked down at his phone and saw Blaine’s name come up. This was going to be tough. Blaine was such a good kid. He had planned this so perfectly and his heart was so full of love for Kurt. “Hello, Kid.”

Blaine was sobbing so hard he could barely speak. “B-burt.” He heaved and tears continued to roll down his face.

“Blaine, calm down.. We got ourselves a bit of a mess, don’t we?”

“How did this happen?” Blaine was a mess.