Chapter 17 - Aftermath

Kurt sobbed uncontrollably in the front seat of Blaine's car.  Blaine felt for him.  He understood the rage because he had been there just recently.  When he beat Sebastian unconscious the first time he attacked Kurt, Blaine had lost control of any reasoning.  He worried that it would scare Kurt away, but it only drew Kurt to him more.  Kurt was there for him as the realization of what he did hit him.  Blaine's reaction had been to cry quietly and withdraw until he could deal with the realization, but Kurt made him talk and care and understand why he did it.  That meant everything to Blaine, but he was unsure how to help Kurt.  They had only been together a short time and while they definitely had an intense connection, he had never seen Kurt like this before.

Kurt had already broken down.  Blaine could only hold Kurt's hand tightly and offer hushes with loving squeezes.  He couldn't drive quickly enough from the back field where the barn was to the house.  He wanted to take away any pain that Kurt was feeling right now.  Upon reaching the house, Kurt withdrew his hand from Blaine's clutch and slumped forward with his head in his hands.  He rocked himself to try to control his mind.  He still sobbed as a result of the situation and Blaine hoped he could put Kurt back together.  Blaine stopped the car and took both of Kurt's hands in his, rubbing them gently.  Kurt didn't make eye contact.  "Baby, look at me."

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I don't want to see what you think of me."  Kurt was clearly ashamed of his actions.  It wasn't much different than the way Blaine felt when he did the same thing to the same guy just a few weeks ago.

"I think you're strong and beautiful.  Please look at me Kurt."  Kurt didn't respond.  "Let's go inside, Baby."  Blaine got out of the car and circled to Kurt's side opening the door and urging him out.  Once out, Blaine took Kurt in his arms and hugged him gently rubbing circles into his lower back.  It started a new set of tears.  "Come with me."  Blaine draped his arms around Kurt's middle and offered support as they made their way to the door.  Blaine pulled Kurt into the house and enveloped him in a hug that was intimate and supportive.  "Please speak to me, Kurt.  I just want to know that you're going to make it.  I need to know that we're going to make it through this."  Blaine was starting to feel lonely in the aftermath of the fight.

Kurt looked at Blaine stunned.  He never intended Blaine to feel alone in all of this.  "I just need help, Blaine.  I need help feeling okay with what I just did.  I mean, I need you to help me.  I need to ..."  Kurt's tears returned with a vengeance as he crumbled in Blaine's arms.  Blaine understood how it felt to have that intense hate coursing through your veins and the power to do everything your mind wanted to do and more. 

"What do you need from me?  I'll do anything to ease your pain.  I know how you feel and what you did for me when I was in your situation."

"I just need to know that you still want me.  He attacked me again and I was so angry.  I don't know if I'm damaged goods or not since he didn't touch me. Maybe I'm going crazy Blaine.  Why would you even want me.  I'm a crazy and awful person.  I'm just not used to that, Blaine.  That's not me... but maybe... I guess that's me, but not the usual me."

Blaine laughed.  "Of, course you're not awful or terrible.  Let's get this out there.  Sebastian was the awful and terrible one that deserved to get his ass kicked.  I still want you, silly.  I love you."

"You don't think I'm a monster?"

"Did you think I was a monster when I did that to Sebastian a few weeks ago?"  Blaine waited for a response.

"Of course you weren't.  You were defending me, saving me."

"And today you were saving yourself, right?"

"I guess."  Kurt could barely look up.  He felt ashamed of how he lost control of himself like that.

"I know."  Blaine tilted Kurt's face to his as he kissed Kurt's forehead gently.  "Come on, Kurt.  I want to do something for you."

Blaine led Kurt upstairs to his room and sat him on the bed.  "I'm going to draw a bath for us."

"I'm not cut like you were."

"That bath was what made me better.  You and I in there together with our bodies as close as they could get is what helped me.  YOU helped me.  You cared for me and lovingly cleaned me.  I'm going to do that for you."  Kurt tried to smile because even though he felt deserving of a jail cell, it did sound nice as he remembered back to when he held Blaine in the warm water, their hearts beating together.  "It wasn't the healing of the cuts that night.  It was healing my mind.  I want that for you."  He put his hand to Kurt's cheek caressing him with his thumb and gently wiping away a stray tear that fell there.  "Come with me Kurt."

Kurt was still beside himself trying to figure out the rage and how it got so out of hand.  He was feeling exhausted from the adrenaline rush and felt a little awkward waiting for the tub to fill with water.  Blaine continued to caress his arm offering kind sweet smiles and occasionally a kiss on the cheek or a squeeze to the hand.  Finally it was filled and Blaine stripped his clothes off and then carefully removed Kurt's clothes.

Blaine got in first spreading his legs making room for Kurt.  "Come on.  Get it.  The water's perfect."  Blaine smiled and gently reached out his hand.  Kurt stepped in and settled down in front of Blaine.  Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt gently cupping water in his hands and pouring it over his arms and chest.  Blaine began to hum a song and would intermittently kiss Kurt's head as he laid against his chest curled up.  He stopped crying but was clearly upset over what he had done.

"How do you think I got that crazy?  I swear I didn't even know what I was doing.  I didn't want to stop, you know."

"I know you would have stopped.  You're not evil like he is Kurt.  How you got that crazy?  I can't answer that, because I did the same thing.  I know how you feel.  You didn't feel like you could control yourself, like you would have continued until you beat him dead.  Right?"

Kurt just nodded.  "I could have killed him."

"You wouldn't have."

"If you didn't stop me, I would have."

"I don't think you would have, even if I didn't stop you, but it would be understandable if you did."  Blaine heard Kurt crying softly again.  "What he did to you twice was unforgiveable.  We should have handled it differently."

"I couldn't tell my dad.  I would feel like I failed him."

"Kurt, I doubt that.  I met your dad and I know it was only for a little while, but it's pretty obvious how much he loves you."  Blaine laughed very quietly.  "He even got me checked out."

"I know.  I would've been ashamed."

"Ashamed that someone crazy like Sebastian attacked you?"

"Ashamed that I couldn't fight back."  Blaine brushed Kurt's hair lightly and kissed him again.

"But you did fight back and you won.  You won't have to worry about him again."

"What you must think of me."

"Why don't you ask me?"  Blaine sounded so believable, but Kurt was sure that Blaine must think he's a monster.  "Ask me Kurt?"

"Okay.  What do you think of me now that you've seen me completely out of control?  What do you think of me now that you've seen me act like Sebastian."

Blaine turned Kurt to face him.  "Kurt, you are not Sebastian.  You're nothing like him.  He's an evil monster that doesn't deserve to live.  He attacked you twice and you still moved on with your life.  You stayed strong and you fought to keep yourself and your life normal."

"I'm broken now."

"You're not broken.  You're just not used to treating someone else the way you've been treated.  There's one huge difference."

"What's that?"

"You never deserved to be made fun of or treated badly.  Sebastian?  That bastard deserved every ounce of hate you had to give him."

Kurt finally smiled at Blaine.  "You .. Do you really think so?"

"I know so.  You are a good person and you deserve happiness.  You deserve not to be treated like garbage or like a piece of meat that you chew up and spit out.  Kurt, you're strong and that's why Sebastian wanted to break you.  It wasn't just your looks, even though your looks are very nice.  It was your strength and intelligence.  It drew me to you.  Sadly, Sebastian went about it the wrong way."

"I hope you really believe that."

"I do.  I love you, Kurt.  I'm very sure of it.  I'm so sure, that I would probably follow you wherever you went to school."

"Oh."  Kurt found a new set of tears hitting his cheeks. 

Blaine was surprised at Kurt's reaction.  He couldn't tell if he said something wrong or something right.  "Are you okay?  Kurt?"

"Yes.  I'm fine.  I love you too."  Kurt paused.  "But, I would never want you to give up your dreams to follow me around."

"I would consider it Kurt, but maybe if we work together, we can find an option for our future that we can live with and still be together."

"I would really like that Blaine.  You're too good to be true.  Will you just hold me?"

"I'll hold you for as long as you let me, but I think we'll need to get out of the water eventually.  We're going to get all pruney soon."

Kurt just smiled into Blaine's neck where he decided to nuzzle the rest of the time.  Blaine's smell was soothing to him.  Something about his sweat mixed with some watery and woody smell made Kurt feel like he was at home.

Finn called Blaine.  "Is he okay?"

"Yeah.  He's going to be fine."  He glanced at Kurt who fell asleep on the bed when they were cuddling.

"We brought Sebastian to his house and left him on his porch again."

"We need to do something to make sure he never bothers us again."

" I think, I might have a plan, but I don't want to talk about it now."  Finn seemed pretty sure of himself.

"We can talk tomorrow since Kurt's asleep.  He really struggled with how out of control he got."

"I'm not surprised.  You know Kurt, he always looks good, puts on a positive front.  He never wants people to see that he is sad or out of control.  He's learning to be himself around you Blaine.  You've been really good for him."

"Thanks Finn.  I really like him."  Blaine paused before he admitted to Kurt's brother.  "Actually, I'm in love with him."

"He's in love with you too.  I see it.  If he hasn't told you yet, be patient with him.  Kurt's an awesome person, he just holds his guard up so high because he's always had to."

"Don't worry.  I'm sticking around as long as he lets me.  He's really an amazing person.  I like being with him so much."

Finn smiled on his end of the phone.  "You guys are really good together.  You seem to understand him."

"I think I do."  Blaine smiled and looked at Kurt sleeping soundly.  "So, I'll call you tomorrow, okay?"

"Yeah.  Take care of him.  We'll meet tomorrow and I'll tell you my plan.  You can tell me if I'm crazy to think it would work."

Kurt felt the covers lifting as the cool air hit his side.  He grumbled and reached around looking for Blaine's body as he felt Blaine easing into the bed.  "Where'd you go?"

"I was talking to Finn on the phone.  I just stepped outside the door, so I wouldn't wake you."

"I missed you."

"I was only gone a second."  Blaine hesitated to tell Kurt that Finn was ready to be done with Sebastian, but he did anyway because he didn't want to keep secrets.  "Finn wanted to talk to us tomorrow about Sebastian.  They dumped him as his house tonight and he wants to be done with Sebastian once and for all."

Kurt sighed.  "did he say what his idea was?"

"No."

"I'll bet it has something to do with telling Burt."

"Maybe.  Don't you think it's about time to tell him?  We've done everything we could do Kurt.  Your dad or my parents could probably fix this easily."

"I know.  Even with all the things he's done, I feel like he does this because no one ever gave him a chance to be good.  He's only been bad and that seemed to work for him."

"Sometimes, no matter what you do, people are bad.  I think Sebastian is one of them.  I think he might need help."

Kurt sighed again.  "You're probably right.  I just don't want to think about that right now.  Can we cuddle and talk about something other than Sebastian."

Blaine smiled.  "That sounds like a perfect plan."

"So.  Thanksgiving?  Are you looking forward to spending it with the Hudson - Hummel families?"

Blaine kissed him on the nose.  "I'm excited about it.  Last year was just with my parents because they were busy.  I spend so much time at school because my parents work.  I want a lazy day watching football with your family."

"Well, it's still small, but we have lots of food and we watch football.  At night we play games until someone's tired or someone starts to cheat."

Blaine laughed.  "That sound like fun. Ummm. Where will I sleep?"

"I want you to sleep with me, but I think you'll end up on the couch."

Blaine pouted.  "Maybe your dad will forget that I'm your boyfriend and let me sleep in bed with you."

"Sadly, my dad has an awesome memory.  I could always sneak up in the middle of the night?"

"I don't want to get in trouble and I don't want you to get in trouble.  Then I won't get to see you at all."

"I'm sure we can sneak around a little bit."

Blaine knew he would have to settle for that.  "Fine."  Blaine pulled Kurt close to kiss him.  "Why do I feel like if we end up together, I'm going to be giving in to you all the time."

"Maybe because you already do."  Kurt smiled at the thought of Blaine and him together for a long time.

"Yeah.  I kind of like you, so I give in to you.  You seem so happy when I do nice things for you.  You appreciate it."  Blaine moved his lips over Kurt's taking his lower lip between his lips and sucking gently.  Kurt moaned at the feel of Blaine's lips on his.  Blaine's tongue was licking his lower lip and then he moved away.  "I want to take care of you Kurt.  I don't mean just right now, but I want to be yours for as long as you'll have me.  God..  I have never met someone that makes me feel like this.  I just want to make you happy.  I just want you."  Blaine kissed down Kurt's chest to his nipples.  Blaine was thanking all that was holy that they got into bed after the bad and didn't bother with clothing.  He kissed and sucked on each nipple affording the attention that Kurt seemed to be soaking up as he moaned and his hipped bucked up a little.  Blaine could feel Kurt's hardened cock on his chest as Kurt made the effort to stop bucking up.

Blaine moved down Kurt's body licking a line from his chest to his cock.  Kurt was trimmed nicely and he had to have thinned the hair because it was perfect.  Blaine took Kurt's cock into his mouth and moaned as he could taste Kurt's precome on his tongue.  Kurt's cock was like the rest of him, smooth and thin and long.  It fit his body was the first thought that went through his head as he continued to suck and lick at Kurt's cock.  Kurt was unraveled.  "Blaine.  Fuck.  So good."

Blaine paused to really take in Kurt.  He was crushed.  This was it.  Blaine felt like cupid must have slain him because there was no way Blaine ever wanted to be with someone else now.  "You're beautiful, Kurt."  He began twisting his head and sucking again.  Lower and lower with each suck.  Blaine was working hard at loosening his throat muscles.  He wanted to do this for Kurt.  He was able to make it all the way down as his nose met the nicely trimmed hair.  He breathed Kurt in and that was it.  Blaine was working harder to deep throat Kurt with every suck.  He did manage to do it every time he sunk down on him and the next thing he knew he was sucking everything Kurt was giving him.  He groaned and sucked and licked up every little bit as Kurt softened in his mouth.  Finally satisfied with the job he'd done, Blaine removed Kurt's cock from his mouth with a pop.

Kurt was completely blown away.  He could barely keep his eyes open, his body was limp and glistened with sweat and he glowed beautifully under the moonlight that entered Blaine's bedroom.  Blaine hadn't even touched himself and he knew he came.  Kurt didn't know.  "Blaine, let me fix your problem too."

"No need Baby.  I got it."  Blaine went straight to the bathroom and grabbed a dry towel to wipe the sheets of his come.  He dampened a small towel and cleaned off Kurt. Finally throwing both towels toward his closet he settled into Kurt's side nuzzling into Kurt's neck.

Kurt was still somewhere in the clouds as Blaine settled into him.  "Wow" was the only word that left his mouth.

Blaine giggled and wrapped his arms around Kurt as they settled in to sleep.

They awoke in the same position they were when they fell asleep.  Blaine was stiff.  "Oh. Owww..  My neck."

"Are you okay?"

"I think my neck is stiff."

Kurt blushed.  "Is it because of.. you know?"  Kurt was leading Blaine down the path of the mind blowing blowjob that Blaine gave him last night.

"That's not why.  I think it's from sleeping in this position all night and not moving.  I think I just need a shower and it will loosen up."  Blaine turned on his side facing Kurt.  "You tasted divine."

Kurt blushed again.  "Oh my God.  I just.. I don't even know what to say to that."

Blaine laughed.  "You don't have to say anything.  I was just informing you of this information.."  He shyly smiled.

"Well.. uh.. Thank you then."  Kurt finally looked Blaine in the eye.

"You're welcome."  Blaine smiled because it was a little awkward, but he was like this with Kurt.  He just blurted out how he felt.  He was guy stupid, like his brain cell stopped working around Kurt.  "I'm sorry.  I blurt out weird things around you."

Kurt pulled Blaine to him.  "Don't be embarrassed, I'm really, really glad you can talk to me like this.  I never had anyone that wanted to talk to me like this, let alone be completely honest."

"I know other gay guys, but even though their out, it's just different with you.  It almost seems like they're still a little phony.  You're always straight forward.  You're real."

"I don't like to sugar coat anything.  You get what you get with me.  Things got much better after my dad won the election.  I guess my dad scares some people."

"Apparently not one, in particular."

"Yeah.  Well, I guess there always has to be one."  They both laughed.

They met Finn at the Lima Bean around lunch time.  "You want to do what, Finn?"  Kurt was yelling at his brother.  "You're nuts.  My dad will go crazy.  He might kill me, you and Sebastian if we go about it that way."

"What's your idea, huh?"  Finn sat there just staring at Kurt.  Kurt was red with anger.  "I didn't think you had a brighter idea."

Kurt stood up.  "You..."

Blaine interjected.  "Kurt, come on.  Finn is just trying to help.  Maybe we should."  Kurt glared at him.  "It just seems like this kid doesn't know when to quit.  What if we didn't get to you this time.  What happens if he gets to you next time.  I'm scared for your safety."

Kurt huffed and plopped down in the seat.  "Kurt, I know you don't want to tell Burt, but this way is better than any other option of how to tell him."

Jeff spoke up.  "What if we talk to Sebastian and threaten him with it.  Maybe he doesn't know who Kurt's dad is?"

"I don't think he's stable enough to think about being scared Jeff."  Blaine was scratching his head trying to think of some other option.  "He's been beaten up twice now and I think he might come back for more.  I just don't want Kurt or any one of us dealing with a lunatic."

"Kurt, it's really the only way.  I think this is the only way to ensure your safety."  Finn looked Kurt in the eye and he was being completely honest.  "You're my brother and I can't stand the thought of something like this happening again.  I'm already beating myself up over it.  I can't stand that he did that to you."

Kurt finally realized as he scanned the table.  Blaine and Finn were the two people outside of Carole and his dad that he truly trusted and cared for deeply.  "I feel like I might regret this, but I want this to be over too."  He reluctantly agreed.  "So we handle all of this over Thanksgiving?"

Finn and Blaine answered in unison.  "Yes."  They smiled at each other.

"Can we just not do this over dinner?"

Finn looked dumbfounded.  "Thankgiving dinner is a perfect time.  Burt would never kill you on a day of thanks."

Kurt groaned.  He wished he could crawl into a hole and never come out.