The sound of his knuckles rapping on the door seemed deafening in the silent hallway and Kurt stood, waiting, trying to find a natural position for his arms to be in. He'd changed into something more casual than he usually wore, especially as of late, although compared to Blaine, who had just opened the door in clad in sweats and a t-shirt, he felt almost overdressed.

"Hey, come on in," Blaine greeted and moved aside so Kurt could walk in.

To say it was an uncomfortable moment was an understatement. Alexander was leaning on the kitchen counter and smirking at the two of them while Harry looked up from where he was filing his nails with confusion on his face as if he hadn't been warned. Technically designers of the same sex were allowed to go visit each others rooms (something Kurt found extremely amusing considering more than half the contestants were something other than straight) but apparently not many people exercised the privilege.

"Here, this way," Blaine said, motioning to the room on Kurt's left. "I got some stuff set up."

Kurt raised an eyebrow at the slight blush on Blaine's cheeks as he said it and walked towards the door. Before he could enter the room however, Alexander spoke up.

"Hey guys?" Both him and Blaine turned and then later wished they hadn't. "If you, you know, get up to anything in there, don't feel like you have to mute the volume. I've spent the last week without my boyfriend or computer so I'm feeling a little pent up if-"

Kurt didn't get to hear the rest because Blaine was practically shoving him inside and slamming the door behind him but not soon enough to miss the cackle of laughter from the kitchen area. Living with Santana for those few months when she first came to New York, and being good friends with her ever since should have desensitized Kurt to that kind of thing but his face was still heated. Blaine's was too, though, so he didn't feel that bad.

Clearing his throat loudly, Blaine finally said, "Sorry about that. He's um, he's a nice guy, really, he just likes to mess with me... especiallyaboutyou."

"What was that?" Kurt asked lightly, a smirk on his face because although he didn't hear the exact words he'd gotten the gist.

"Oh shut up," Blaine said, and just like that the ice was broken.

Blaine had evidently cleared off the two bedside tables and pushed them together to form a coffee table of sorts. On top of them was a bottle of wine, two glasses, and a plate of cheese and crackers. Blaine motioned for Kurt to sit on the bed across from him and then stood up to uncork the wine and pour them some.

"I know it would have been a bit more... comfortable to sit out there," Blaine began, referencing the common area of the apartment, "but Alexander would have been there and even if I could have gotten him to leave Harry wouldn't have just because he'd know it would bother me so-"

"Blaine, it's fine, this is really nice actually."

Blaine smiled, looking extremely pleased with himself, and sat back on the bed with his glass in hand. "So earlier you mentioned you were from Lima, did you happen to go to McKinley high?"

Kurt quickly swallowed the cheese cube he was chewing on and said, "Yeah. How did you know that?"

"My school's glee club, the Warblers, were supposed to verse your school's glee club in regionals one year but there was a last minute schedule change and we ended up competing against Vocal Adrenaline and losing."

"You were in the Warblers? I was in the New Directions! I was actually going to go spy on you guys but after the schedule change I didn't have an excuse."

"An excuse?"

"I-" Kurt fiddled with his glass for a moment before taking a swig and continuing, "I was bullied pretty severely in high school and it just kept getting worse so when I heard about Dalton and their no bullying policy it seemed like a dream come true. It was so expensive though that it felt really selfish of me to go there. And anyway, it wasn't too long after that that my teacher overheard this neanderthal threatening me and got him expelled from school. Things were much better after that."

"Come here," Blaine said, putting down his drink and opening his arms.

Kurt snorted but got up and gingerly sat next to Blaine, leaving a little distance between them, only to have Blaine close it and wrap him up in a hug a second later.

"Blaine, I'm twenty-three years old, I don't need a hug."

"Everyone needs a hug something," Blaine mumbled into his shoulder.

Despite his protests, the hug felt wonderful and warm and Kurt melted right into it. Blaine eventually did pull away but Kurt didn't go back to his side.

"What about you? I mean I heard a little about your high school life but what happened after that?"

"Well I majored in English at NYU and just graduated last month so..."
"English?" Kurt couldn't keep the surprise out of his voice. "What were you planning on doing with that?" He wasn't be judgmental, he was just curious, as that was a notoriously hard major to find work with.

"Teach?" As soon as the word came out of Blaine's mouth he froze. "I-I mean- I don't even-" Blaine closed his mouth abruptly and sat there for a few minutes while Kurt looked on in confusion.

Taking a deep breath Blaine turned to face Kurt and started again, "Honestly? I'm not even sure where that came from. My dad wanted- wants- I don't know- for me to become a lawyer and I knew I didn't want that but all the stress kept me from thinking about what I actually wanted to do. Or, maybe I was thinking about it and I just didn't voice it to myself. Teaching... maybe that's something I would enjoy."

Kurt took Blaine's hand and squeezed gently but he was still off in his own world. After a moment or two he flopped back on the bed with an anguished noise. "I'm such a fraud," he whispered almost to himself.

Lying back with him, Kurt asked him to explain.

"It's just, thousands of people applied to be in this position, and four people have already gone home, and I'm sitting here imagining a career for myself that has nothing to do with fashion at all! The whole point of this competition is to break into the fashion world and what if I don't even want that?"

"So why did you come here then?" Kurt asked quietly.

"I never thought I would make-"

"No," he interrupted gently, "there was a reason you filled out all those forms and sent in all those pictures. Why?"

Blaine stared at the ceiling, thinking hard, before saying, "I guess because designing was the only thing besides music that I could remember really making me happy."

"Then it's a good thing you're here. You're talented Blaine, that's why the judges chose you, and you shouldn't feel guilty about that. And there are plenty of things you can do with fashion that aren't starting your own line. Maybe you can even teach design classes."

Kurt worried he was getting a bit preachy with his sappy-inspirational speech but when he caught Blaine's eye he could physically see the gratefulness in them. Blaine rolled up onto his side and leaned in to give Kurt a chaste kiss on the lips before whispering "thanks."

"And sorry to word vomit all over you on the first date." He chuckled as he said it but Kurt could see the insecurity there and felt like there was a story behind it.

"Well it's better than real vomit, which has happened on one too many first dates."

Blaine laughed again for real this time and now it was Kurt's turn to kiss him. His arms moved up and wrapped around Blaine's shoulders, pulling him closer as their lips continued to move together. It was so different than the fast and frantic last time and was much more satisfying. The wine already made Kurt's head a little fuzzy and the warmth of Blaine's arms around him soon had him drifting off.

"Kurt?" Blaine asked, pulling his head back.

"Hmm?" Kurt hummed, slowly opening his eyes.

"You're about to fall asleep aren't you?"

"No I-"

"Am I really that bad a kisser?"

"What? No!" Kurt exclaimed, waking up a bit more. As he did, however, he could see the twinkle in Blaine's eye so he relaxed.

"Kidding, kidding," Blaine said with a soft smile. "Do you want to take a nap?"

"Here?"

Blaine shrugged, "Why not?"

"Are you sure you're okay with that?" Kurt asked, but he was already drifting off again. He managed to shift sideways with Blaine so their heads were on the pillow and they could get under the blankets. He was still wear jeans and a vest but he couldn't be bothered to change now. Blaine had left to go bring the wine back to the kitchen and Kurt was feeling a lot less comfortable now that he was gone. When he got back and slipped in bed Kurt hesitated for only a moment before spooning up behind him. "Is this okay?" he whispered in Blaine's ear.

"It's perfect."

&&&&&

It took a few seconds after Kurt opened his eyes to recognize where he was although the warm bundle of man in his arms was a pretty quick to remind him. While they slept they had somehow gotten even closer, now completely wrapped around one another. It was so cozy and Kurt was still tired, enough so to fall back asleep, but before he could he heard a low rumble. Blaine immediately reacted, squirming a little in his arms and Kurt chuckled softly.

"Blaine?"

Blaine groaned and rolled over to face him. With pink cheeks he apologized and said, "I haven't really eaten anything today."

Kurt leaned forward to rest his forehead on Blaine's before saying, "No, of course it's fine, let's go get something to eat."

The two stood and spent a few minutes tidying up, fixing their skewed clothes and patting down their hair. As they opened the door the smell of pizza wafted in and Kurt's mouth began to water. Blaine let out another groan, this one rather obscene and had he suddenly not realized how hungry he was Kurt might have dragged him back in the bedroom right then and there.

Harry and Alexander were sitting at the kitchen table eating away and that was expected but what wasn't was the cameraman standing, back towards Kurt and Blaine, chatting away with the other two. Suddenly the dream like state Kurt had been in all day popped and he was thrown back into reality. This was a competition, a TV show, and the world's (or at least the millions of viewers) eyes were on him. He wouldn't let the show exploit his relationship- or whatever it was- with Blaine and he wouldn't be the face of scandal.

When the cameraman noticed the two of them he quickly took his camera and held it up in their direction but before he could turn it on both him and Blaine had taken seats at the table. Kurt tried to catch Blaine's gaze to convey that none of this was to be publicized but he was busy serving himself pizza, not looking worried in the slightest.

"So Kurt, what are you doing here instead of being at your own apartment?" The man had finally gotten everything working and the red recording light was blinking in Kurt's face.

Kurt grit his teeth and tried to stay under control as he gave his answer. The crew didn't often come into their apartments but they did have the right to so he was going to have to suck it up. "I heard they had pizza, I didn't want to miss out on that." His tone wasn't dismissive but it was firm, firm enough that Kurt hoped it would put an end to all the questions.

Thankfully, after a moment's hesitation, it did, and the man left soon after. Once he did Kurt could eat his food in peace without having to worry about having sauce on his face or anything equally embarrassing but he wasn't all that hungry anymore.

"So Kurt," Harry said was an overly bright smile, "you certainly seem to be enjoying your time here eh?"
Rage surged through Kurt at the insinuation but at least he'd had the decency to wait until the camera was gone to say it. Blaine's hand, which had been resting on Kurt's thigh, clenched at the comment and he started to reply but Alexander beat him to it.

"Oh fuck off Harry. You're just jealous you're not getting any."

Alexander was trying to make him feel better, Kurt knew that, but it only made things worse. These virtual strangers were talking about him and his most intimate interactions as if it was somehow their business. And if Harry knew about Blaine and him then it wouldn't be long before everyone else did too. The other designers, the camera crew, maybe even the judges. Would they knock him down for this? Certainly they weren't technically allowed to, but if they thought he was dedicated it could have an effect couldn't it?

Kurt stood up, dropping his half eaten slice on his plate, and said, "I'm leaving."

"Wait- what, no," Blaine said as he scrambled up to follow him.

Kurt continued to open to door but held it open so Blaine could walk out and they could talk in the hallway.

"Look, I'm sorry about them, they're being jerks, but they don't-"

"It's not just them," Kurt said quietly, then glancing up and down the hall to make sure no one was in sight. "It's just... everything. It was be hard- impossible really- to have a relationship right now. With the cameras everywhere, because I don't want any of this getting out, it would be so unprofessional, along with the competition aspect, the tension and jealousy that could arise because of it, I just don't see it working out."

"Are you saying we shouldn't try this?" He demeanor was calm but there was a sadness in his eyes that made Kurt's stomach drop.

Kurt bit his lip and said, "I've been working towards this for so long that doing anything to risk it now..."

Blaine nodded his understanding but said quietly, "You still didn't answer my question."

Kurt thought back to the what it felt like to win that first challenge and compared it to what he felt in that room just a few hours ago but it was like comparing apples and oranges. They were such different feelings that he couldn't choose one over the other, at least not now. "Can I have some time to think it over?"

"Of course," Blaine said, offering him a little smile.

He didn't deserve his patience but Kurt was thankful for it all the same. Things would be clearer in the morning he assured himself as he walked back to his room, they had to be.

&&&&&

Blaine felt like he could really own this challenge. They were dealing with clients, working moms on the go, and if Blaine was going to go into fashion this is what he would want to do. Maybe not moms specifically, but he definitely wanted to work with people. He'd always been a people person.

His client was a beautiful Asian women in her mid thirties who was around 5-5 and skinny as a stick. There was so envy coming his way because of that last fact, a few of the other women were a little more robust. It made Blaine so angry that people were complaining about that, even if it wasn't in front of the women's faces, because people are all different shapes and sizes and if you wanted to make it in the industry you had better get use to that.

Stephanie, the women he was working with, had a husband, two young kids, worked as a yoga instructor, and was an influential member of the local elementary school's PTA. Obviously, she was a busy bee. She asked for something that was semi-formal and that she could easily change into in the locker room at the gym because she often ended up going places straight from work. Blaine was quick to decide a chic suit jacket would be the perfect thing and Stephanie was loving it so far. That's another thing some other designers were struggling with; they weren't making their clients happy. Yes, you had to stick true to your design aesthetic, but you also had the please the customer.

In between nipping and tucking the jacket, which after the fitting proved to be a little loose around the waist, and panicking at the work still needed on the trousers, Blaine rehashed last night. It had been casual, comfortable, and just what Blaine needed to wind down after the stressful week.

It was strange, and a little unnerving, how much he told Kurt though. Although he'd been mercilessly teased over the years for his so called "heart eyes", other things, like personal problems, he kept locked away where not even he could always see them. Part of it was the almost surreal atmosphere here, and the general loneliness of not being in contact with any family or friends, but there was more too it than that. Kurt had swept in and stolen his heart and that was a very scary thought.

Because he might have put on a brave face last night but Kurt's words cut him deep. Blaine was just so sure about this, about them, that he couldn't believe Kurt wasn't feeling it too. He understood that this was Kurt's dream, he really did, but he didn't understand why Kurt thought the two were mutually exclusive. A quote keeps floating to Blaine's mind, "The right guy at the wrong time is still the wrong guy", but he refused to give into that thinking. And Kurt hadn't even give him a straight answer yet.
Then, as if sensing Blaine's thoughts on him, Kurt turned his head to look at him. Blaine smiled instinctively and Kurt returned it before going back to work. Blaine got back to work after that too, focusing solely on the skinny grey trouser now that the jacket was done.

&&&&&

Sheila, Kurt's client, may have been a major bitch but at least she looked fabulous in what Kurt had made for her. She was owning the runway like not many of the other moms did and it made Kurt's outfit shine even brighter. The outfit almost hadn't shined at all because Sheila had a mind of her own and a taste level that was extremely questionable. Kurt had been able to talk her off the ledge of cheetah print (a "must" when she'd first come to see him) and after that they were able to find some common ground.

Kurt had never worked directly with a client before because Isabelle and other higher-ups handled all that at vogue. There was a thrill that came with seeing the person's eyes light up as you showed them their outfit but he could go without all the compromise and collaboration. Kurt dreaded the team challenge that was sure to arise soon.

The dress/skirt combination that Kurt made was actually in the minority for once compared to the amount of pants up on the runway. Even Blaine did a pant, something he'd earlier told Kurt he wasn't entirely comfortable with, but from here they looked perfectly fine. His jacket was cute and had a sailor feel that somehow seemed totally him.

Yesterday morning unfortunately hadn't held the clear cut solution Kurt had hoped for but he was leaning in one direction. Fashion meant so much to him, and he'd dreamed of an opportunity like this his whole life, but, Blaine was like a rock in his shoe that wouldn't leave. No, it actually wasn't like that, because Kurt enjoyed Blaine's presence, even if it only had been a few fleeting glances across the room for the past two days. Blaine was giving him his space as he asked and the separation had given him time to really think. He didn't need to pick one or the other, and Blaine knew designing would always come first for now, so maybe he really could have the best of both worlds.

As the rest of the outfits were presented Kurt was sure he was in the top. Plenty of the others were either poorly made (usually the pants) or simply not conventional enough for a working mom to wear even if she did live in New York city.

His prediction was affirmed, he was in the top, as was Blaine. Alexander was in the bottom again with Davis, who Kurt had actually grown to like. He was often a buffer between himself and Stephan who, since Kurt turned him down, liked to rile him up at every possible moment. Davis's outfit really was hideous though and that hadn't gone unnoticed by the judges. The top was a heavily draped, olive colored shawl type thing and it was paired with a knee length black skirt. His client looked completely swamped in the clothing although she wasn't entirely unhappy.

Sam's client on the other hand was positively furious. Apparently she'd wanted bright colors like pink and yellow but Sam, who didn't do anything but neutral colors (usually black), was having none of it. The garment itself wasn't awful but the judges must have gotten wind of the client's unhappiness and brought her up for that reason.

The judges praised Kurt's highly for both it's accessibility as a skirt and top separately as well as the unusual use of colors and patterns from him. It felt nice to be in the top as always, but it wasn't as novel any more. Kurt had been in the top every time but once so far and he knew that made him a front runner. Blaine also received great reviews, especially about the impeccability in the jacket. He got knocked a bit because up close his pants weren't as perfectly fitted as they could have been but he earned points back because of how pleased his client was.

Then Alexander got beaten up over his out-of-date sweater dress and leggings combination and it was painful to watch. Kurt had decided he was actually a pretty good guy. Yesterday he'd come up to him and apologized for his behavior, practically begging him to get back with Blaine. He had noticed the new distance between the two of them and blamed himself. Kurt tried to convince him it wasn't anything he did without explaining to him the exact nature of what was going on and he seemed to understand.

It was with a jolt that Kurt realized he didn't really want either of these two going home. It seemed after all his talk of staying separate and not coming here to make friends he actually had started caring for the other designers.

&&&&&

Kurt won and Blaine couldn't be happier. The light in his eyes as they called his name and the tear he serendipitously wiped away was enough to balance the little pang in his chest due to the loss. Then there was also the hug he pulled him into afterwards that was still making his skin feel tingly five minutes later.

As the dust settled though, and Kurt stayed away on the journey back to the apartments, Blaine began to worry. Maybe this win would make Kurt think he was better off staying away and keeping focused. They hadn't talked really since that night and then he won this challenge so logically it made sense.

Blaine knew he offered to give Kurt time but he really hoped he would make a decision soon. Not knowing if the feelings he had were returned, or if he would get to feel those lips on his again, was worse a torture than being turned down.