Oct. 11, 2015, 7 p.m.
The Nanny: Chapter 5
E - Words: 9,753 - Last Updated: Oct 11, 2015 Story: Closed - Chapters: 16/? - Created: Jun 30, 2014 - Updated: Jun 30, 2014 171 0 0 0 0
I LOVE YOU GUYS. Will try and post again soon. :)
"Im about to get off the elevator now. Ill handle it, I promise."
"If you dont handle it Sarah, I will."
The elevator doors opened on the top floor and Sarah stepped off, her heels clicking against the floor of the hallway. In her left hand, she carried the dinner she bought for the family. With her right, she opened the flap of her Versace purse, digging around for her keys. "Like I said, you have nothing to worry about. If I can, Ill call you tomorrow." She tried to finish the conversation before getting to her front door, and as the blonde finally pulled out her keys, he responded.
"Are we still on for this weekend?"
Sarah smiled. "Yes, Timothy."
"And if I want to see you before then?"
The woman approached the door, going to stick the key in the hole before they slipped from her hands. "Shit." She bent down, picking them up. "Havent you learned anything from today? You can wait."
He hesitated. "Yeah. Youre right. I love you Sarah. Tell Blaine I said hello."
Sarah rolled her eyes as she stood back up. "Screw you."
He laughed and they disconnected the call. As the woman went to return her key to the lock, the door flew open and a frazzled Blaine stood there with a smile, blocking the doorway. His wife raised an eyebrow at him as she removed one of her ear pieces.
"You look… out of breath. Hi."
Blaine watched as she put her keys into her purse and went to take the bags from her. "Hey honey. How was your day? Let me take that."
She handed it over to him and smiled as she stepped in, removing her purse and jacket. "My day had its moments but I think it was good overall. You seem to be in a fantastic mood so Im guessing you won?"
After locking the door, Blaine nodded and took everything into the dining area. "You guessed correctly. Kurt," he called out.
Sarah flinched at the sound of the shout, but specifically the sound of his name. She walked into the living room for the remote to turn off the stereo system. The music was low but it still annoyed her. As she picked it up, she rolled her eyes at the sofa pillows all over the floor. "Why does this place look like a pig sty?"
Kurt came out and froze at the sight of Sarah standing in the space where he was just being dry humped by her husband. Blaine noticed him and blatantly and obnoxiously cleared his throat to get the teens attention.
"Im sorry about that. Madison and I were playing earlier before she went to sleep." Blaine subtly adjusted his sweat pants and looked at Kurt. "Can you come help set up for dinner—wait, what happened to your glasses?"
Kurt still stood there like a deer caught in headlights. He wasnt good at lying, he didnt think. He never really had practice. He never had to lie to his dad about parties or lie about the cat eating his homework—wait, the dog eating his homework (see) and when he even thought about telling a fib to get out of something with Sebastian, his friend would say bullshit before he could even think of something. The teen seriously wasnt made out for this life.
Sarah looked at him while waiting for an answer. "Well? Kurt…"
"I-I…" he stared down at the two pieces in his hand. "In the bathroom, I was going to change the bulb. But I…" He took a quick breath and swallowed hard. "It was a bit wet and I slipped a little, and then tripped over the rug. They fell off my face and I stepped on them."
Blaine nodded at what he was told. "Do you have backups or contacts? Well replace those in the morning. Youre squinting right now." As the man went to the sink to wash his hands, Kurt could only stare in awe at how amazingly Blaine was playing all of this. Were they both major liars? Had Blaine messed around on his wife before? There was no way they had an open marriage because they both seemed to be amazing at deception.
"I have contact lenses. Ill go put those on."
Sarah grabbed her purse and went to follow behind him. "Im going to go change out of these clothes."
Blaine watched her for a while and nodded. Once they both left the room, the man sighed heavily, turning the water off and waving them dry.
What in the fuck was he thinking?
If he didnt hear her keys outside the door… if the music playing had been a tad bit louder… if anything else was slightly different, Sarah wouldve walked in on the two of them. She wouldve walked in on him and their teenaged male nanny, inches away from undressing on the floor. Blaine honestly had no clue what the hell was going through his mind, but he knew whatever it was wasnt him at all. Hed never been unfaithful in any relationship, and he wasnt the type to lie to his wifes face. He wasnt the type to lead someone on either, and the guilt about what was going on with Kurt was seriously starting to get to him.
Hed fucked up badly.
And it felt so, so fucking beautiful.
Blaine closed his eyes for a moment to regain control of his thoughts. Things werent supposed to get so out of hand with Kurt. He wasnt supposed to think of the boy while he was fucking his wife and he definitely wasnt supposed to kiss his neck while they grinded together on the living room floor. Kurt wasnt supposed to be in his every thought, and Blaine had no idea how it even came to this.
He grabbed a few plates and walked over to the table, setting up while Kurt put in his contacts. The guilt came back and hard. It honestly felt like hed taken advantage of the teen, and Blaine thought for sure that the kid would hate his boss even more now because of it. Those werent his intentions but it definitely appeared that way.
"Fuck," Blaine said, dragging a hand down his face.
"What was that, daddy?" Madison asked as she wandered into the dining room, both hands rubbing at her eyes. Blaine felt even worse now, knowing that she couldve come stumbling in ten minutes ago too.
"Oh, nothing. You didnt hear that. Lets get you cleaned up for dinner."
…
Kurt had a million and one thoughts going through his head that he literally wanted nothing to do with right now. He hated all of them, and he hated how he was now just as bad as Sarah Anderson, if not worse. For starters, he was keeping quiet about her affair from someone who he considered a friend. Well, someone he had considered a friend. Secondly, he then just about wrapped his legs around the married Blaine Andersons waist a few minutes ago before the two of them jumped up and ran in different directions. Seriously, why wouldnt the Science Museum just fucking hire him?
He had his contacts in relatively quickly, and began to pack his things away. But he lingered in the bathroom next to his room a while longer. He looked at himself and shook his head. His father would be disappointed in him if he knew he was a piece in what could potentially destroy a marriage, and while Kurt told himself that their marriage wasnt exactly solid to begin with, that didnt matter. He was still doing the wrong thing and it seriously would stop.
"I really should call Sebastian," he whispered to himself. "I just need someone to talk some sense into my head."
He looked away from the mirror and fixed his t-shirt, walking to the bathroom door. The last thing he expected to see when he opened it was a smiling Sarah Anderson standing there, but thats exactly what met him.
"Youre very lucky you broke your glasses and not something else. I didnt dock your paycheck for the plate this morning but, son, the clumsiness has to stop. Next time I wont be so lenient."
Kurt stared at her. Shed switched her clothes now, wearing something relatively fancy to have on just around the house. But Sarah wasnt the type to be casual.
She smiled wider when she saw how affected he was. "Can I talk to you in your room? I know its dinner time but itll only take a minute."
Kurt held his things tightly in his hand as he nodded. What was this about? "S-Sure."
Sarah stepped aside and gestured for the teenager to lead the way. She watched as he walked the distance to his room and turned the knob, walking in and going straight to his dresser. Sarah looked around to make sure her husband and daughter werent near and then closed the door behind them, locking it. Kurt was about to ask why when she began to speak.
"You know, youre cute without the glasses. I like it."
Kurt stared at her.
"And Im guessing theres no need to beat around the bush, right Kurt?" The woman smiled, looking around his room. "Although I must say I do like what youve done with the place."
"Whats this about, Mrs. Anderson? I-I should be helping with dinner—"
"I know it was you earlier, Kurt." She put down one of Kurts collectible Marvel action figures and looked at him.
"I dont—"
"Dont bother to deny it." Her eyes were a bright blue as she smiled at him, shrugging softly. "Pernell, the doorman, he told me you and a particularly handsome male friend of yours came back here and then left in a bit of a rush."
Kurt watched as his boss sat on the edge of his bed. She dug in the pocket of the beige sweater she wore.
"See, the thing is Kurt, I know you know what was going on. So Ill just come out and say. Im fucking another man. Well its so much more than that… Im in love with another man." Sarah pushed her hair back and continued. "And Im not dumb. I see the way you look at Blaine. I know your loyalties lie with him. After all," she paused, opening her checkbook. "Hes the one who rallied to get you this job after you showed up and hes told me how amazing he thinks you are since youve been working here. Madison loves you. The family trusts you, Kurt."
He watched her start to write and he didnt know why, but his hands were shaking. "What are you doing?"
"Im keeping your mouth shut."
Kurt took a deep breath and sat down at the computer desk, needing something to hold onto. Sarah smiled as she turned to him.
"It would be easy to fire you, you know? Tell the agency that I dont like the way you look at my husband, and if you try to blabber about my affair, I could just pin it on your futile crush. I know hes kind, but hed never want you Kurt. He doesnt swing that way, so you should set your sights elsewhere."
"Why dont you fire me then?"
"Like I said," she stood up after speaking and approached him. "My family does admire you. I need you around whether I like it or not. And I talked to my… friend about it. He thinks itd be smart to keep his enemies closer."
Kurt was quiet, looking down at the check that she handed him. "Im not accepting that."
"But you are, Kurt." The woman leant on the desk beside him, placing it down. The amount totaled $5,000. "Youre going to take this, and heres what I need from you, Kurt. Keep your mouth shut about what you know, keep doing what I hired you for, and stop fantasizing about my husband. It is rather pathetic, and being married to Blaine for six years, I know pathetic."
"If I say no?"
"You wont. One, this is five grand. Two, you want in on the journalism field. I may be in fashion but Im well known in this city, Kurt. I could blacklist you before you graduate and you wouldnt want that."
Kurt felt his heart break. A little for Blaine, and a little for Madison. He couldnt believe they had to deal with someone so crude, and until now he never actually despised a person.
"And I wouldnt want to do that to you. Youre such a sweet, young man. You can go really far, son."
Kurt looked away. "Then, w-why dont you just divorce him?"
Sarah smiled, brushing Kurts messy hair back. "Timothy asks the same question all the time, you know? And I wish it was that easy. But while I love Tim, I know he isnt ready for the commitment Im ready for."
At that, Kurt smirked, the anger in his chest building up at the thought of what shed been doing to Blaine. This man changed his entire life for her and was afraid to pursue a career he was passionate about because of what shed say, and here she was, fucking another man the entire time. Maybe Kurt wasnt a saint, but at least he wasnt a stone-hearted bitch. "And youre implying that youre ready for a commitment when youve been in a relationship with two different people for how long?"
"Thats something you dont need to worry about, Kurt."
"Maybe this Timothy would be more open to commitment if you werent married, Sarah."
She shrugged. "Maybe youre right. But I cant divorce Blaine. He made me sign a prenuptial agreement so hed have his money, this condo, and the cars… all of his investments." The woman stood up and started to walk slowly over to the bed, sitting down again. "Im lucky hes so concerned with staying together for our daughter. And I have assets of my own but the thought of him giving everything I had to another woman… I cant imagine that."
"Wow," Kurt laughed now and shook his head. "Wow."
"I know. Im a bitch." She smiled at him. "But now, youre my bitch. So if you love Maddie and if you care for Blaine, I suggest you keep your mouth shut. Timothy would hate to have to help keep you quiet."
Kurt looked at her. "Is that a threat?"
"Yes." She stood up and headed to the door. "Its dinner time. Lets go."
…
And it was the most awkward dinner Kurt ever participated in. He watched as Sarah led the conversation, talking about her day and the new assistant she hired. She put up this façade like nothing was out of the norm—like she wasnt caught with another man in her and her husbandshome or that she didnt just give her nanny five thousand dollars to keep quiet about it. Everything was all smiles and laughs with Sarah. Kurt shook his head. He then listened as Blaine fumbled through a conversation about the case he won that day, slipping over his words every time theyd catch eyes. It got to the point where Kurt decided hed only look down at his food for the rest of dinner, but Madison would say something to him and make him look up and there would be Blaine; his eyes locked on Kurt in a way the teen hated. He was glad when it was over.
Blaine told the group that he was going to the gym and quickly left without another word. Sarah smiled politely at Kurt before kissing her daughter on the forehead, saying that it was a very long day and that shed be turning in for the night. Kurt was amazed by how much he hated this woman.
He spent the rest of the evening with Madison, reading her stories and telling her a bit about when he was a kid back in Lima. They talked about his mom for a while, and about his dog Sparky who ran away when he was 11. Maddie told him how bad shed always wanted a dog but how she had to wait until she was more responsible, her parents had told her. The conversation helped Kurt keep his mind off of other things and he was very grateful for that. But as soon as he started to forget how crazy things were, Blaine texted him.
Itd been over three hours since he left, and Blaine never spent that long in the gym. Kurt assumed the man was at a bar getting drunk and trying to forget he was doing very gay things earlier that afternoon with a very gay boy when he read the message.
From Blaine:
We need to talk.
And it was very possible that that was the case. Kurt sighed and rolled back over, looking up at the TV. Madison was making him watch The Powerpuff Girls. He smiled as she laughed at something and nodded at whatever she talk-giggled before answering the message.
To Blaine:
I guess so.
From Blaine:
Yeah. Ill let you know when Im home, then.
His phone began to ring then, Sebastians smiling face flashing up on the screen. Kurt looked at Maddie and stood up. "Im going to my room to take this. Let me know if you need me, ok?"
She nodded and grabbed her stuffed animal before lying down in his spot.
Kurt accepted the call and softly closed the door behind him. "Hey Bas," he said, quickly walking up the hall to his room.
"Kurt. I got the 9-1-1 text. Whats up? Everything ok with you?"
"Relax," Kurt said with a soft smile as he locked his bedroom door and walked over, plopping down on his king-sized mattress. He knew Sebastian would kick someones ass for him and he loved that. Everyone needed a friend like that. "Im ok. I just… it was a hell of a day after I got back to the Andersons and I needed to talk."
Sebastian waited a while before answering. "Was she there? Did she say something to you?"
"Well, she wasnt here when I got in with Maddie. But she did walk in a while later while… Mr. Anderson and I… we were kinda…"
"Oh. My. GOD."
"Yeah," Kurt threw himself face first into a pillow before picking his head back up. "Im so stupid, Bas."
"What? When? Oh fuck," the older teen sounded like hed explode if he didnt get answers to the questions he couldnt even formulate. "How? Were you guys doing it?"
"No, no we werent," Kurt said quickly, his cheeks redder than ever at the thought. "He… oh man do I have to talk about it?"
"Yes."
"We were, just kind of playing around at first. Pillow fighting and then tickling… and—"
"This is amazing."
"Stop interrupting," Kurt told him. "We ended up on the floor and he accidentally rubbed against me… god it felt amazing."
Sebastian wasnt answering but Kurt knew it was because his friend had a dopey smile on his face.
"Then, he saw my reaction and asked if he could do it again. I mayve thrust up. I dont remember."
"You did. You wanted that grown man dick. Admit it."
"Sebastian."
"So you two started going at it?"
Kurt shook his head, embarrassed. "I wouldnt call it going at it but we got a bit carried away. He was kissing my neck when he stopped and I realized by the look on his face that he heard something. So we got up and he went to the door, telling me to go hide. I just ran to the back."
"Dude." Sebastian took a long breath. "I told you he wanted you. What happened after that? Did the slut say something to you about earlier?"
"If shes a slut then what does that make me?"
Sebastian laughed. "Youre hardly a slut, Kurt. Just tell me what happened."
The boy turned and looked at the check on his night table. "She offered me money and pretty much blackmailed me to keep quiet. She said she could make sure I never got a job in journalism, and that her boyfriend would make sure I kept quiet too if I got any ideas. I was threatened because shes fucking another guy. Can you believe that?"
Sebastians laughter was far away now. He sounded pissed off. "Thats bullshit."
"I seriously want to quit. I do. But I dont want to leave Maddie and… Blaine, I dont even know where he and I stand right now but I dont want to walk away from him either. He didnt have to speak up for me and get me this job—"
"Im pretty sure he did it because he wanted to do you."
"I dont think so. He wasnt attracted to me until he saw me naked, Bas. And I—"
"HE WHAT?"
Fuck.
"I mean… oh goodness."
"What the FUCK has been going down at the Anderson residence?"
"I was in a towel, coming out of the shower," Kurt whispered into the phone, not knowing if Sarah was lurking around, or even Madison. "He was coming in from the gym. We saw each other and there was a few seconds of staring. That was chocolate milk morning."
"Now I know why you were late—"
"I swear nothing happened. But since then, hes been staring. Like… lusty stares."
"This is amazing. I told you so. Youre fucking hot. I dont know why you dont believe me."
Kurt stayed quiet, his eyes closed. "What should I do?"
"Take the money Lady Anderson gave you, get a hotel room, maybe penthouse suite so Blaine feels right at home, then let him fuck your brains out."
Kurt opened his eyes and rolled them.
"Then, we go on our double date tomorrow night and you unwind, get to know Adam. Thats the Brits name."
"Adam. Ok."
"And we have a good time. Well do something over the weekend to help you get away from all the crazy. On Monday though, I dont know."
Kurt took a deep breath. "I need some sleep, Bas."
"Yeah, you do. I love you brother. Call me in the morning so I know all is well, ok?"
Kurt nodded. "Alright. Goodnight."
They hung up and Kurt lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Worst case scenario, Blaine said that he was sorry but they needed to let him go, to find another nanny. This was a concern of Kurts because he had just started to get acclimated here. He was used to this now and the money was very good—outside of the 5k. But Kurt remembered hearing that he was the first one they had actually moved in, and because of that, they probably werent looking to replace him. Moving different people in and out wasnt good for Madison anyway. She needed stability. With that being said, Kurt hoped that they could come to some sort of agreement where they kept their distance and he was allowed to stay employed there.
His mind raced for the next hour before he decided to get up and check on the little girl. Madison was fast asleep. He turned off her television and tucked her in tightly. After stopping in the kitchen for something to drink, Kurt straightened up out there as well. He looked at the couch and shook his head. Way too many memories happened there and he hadnt even been living in the condo that long, honestly.
A few minutes later hed returned to his room, removing his contacts and getting settled into bed. After getting comfortable underneath the covers and deciding to go to sleep. Tomorrow was his day off. He could talk to Blaine then. But as soon as he went to close his eyes, his phone vibrated from where it was on the charger.
From Blaine:
Are you up?
Kurt read the message; the bright light hurting his eyes in the dark.
To Blaine:
I am. I was about to go to sleep though.
He sent the message and lay back, taking a deep breath. When five minutes passed and he didnt get a reply, Kurt let his eyes close. There was a soft knock on the door and Kurt acknowledged that hed be cock blocked from sleep for a while.
"Yes?"
The door crept open and Kurt made out the figure as Blaines as the man closed the door behind himself and the lock clicked. Kurt sat up and tried to reach for his lamp, but Blaine made it easier by turning the light on.
Of course he looked absolutely gorgeous. Of course he did. Kurts eyes left the mans arms in the tight shirt that hugged him and returned to his face.
"H-Hey. You um, wanted to talk." He straightened himself on the bed and Blaine watched him, nodding his head yes.
"Actually, can we go out for a drive? I only want an hour of your time."
Kurt looked at him. "Where are we going?"
"Wherever," Blaine said. "Just for a drive. I imagine you want answers, and I want to be alone. Just you and me."
Kurt nodded to him after a moment. "Ok."
"Alright." Blaine ran a hand through his curly hair. There was no gel holding it in place right now. "I guess Ill step out and let you get dressed. Ill be waiting outside."
"Alright." Kurt watched him leave before he stood up. He decided that since theyd be just driving around, and since it was after 11 oclock at night, he didnt have to throw on anything too… nice. Kurt put on a red NYU hoodie, matching shorts, and a pair of slippers. He went to the bathroom to wash his hands and put the contacts in, and after a few minutes he had his cell phone in hand, joining his boss in front of the building.
Blaine smiled at him when he got outside and went to open the passenger side door for him. Kurt nodded his thanks and got inside. The music was turned on to a low volume, Imagine Dragons was playing, but no words were spoken between the two of them. Blaine drove along the Henry Hudson Parkway, and Kurt had never seen the city so quiet. Then again, he never actually drove through the city this late. It was calming. He looked out at the water and at all the piers they passed, loving the way the lights reflected off the river. Blaine chanced a few glances at him before focusing on the road, driving all the way downtown until they got to the Lincoln Tunnel.
It was evident to Kurt know that Blaine mustve known where he was going. He remained quiet though, his eyes closed as he listened to the new song that came on the radio, letting Blaine navigate them through the tunnel and into New Jersey. Theyd been in the car for quite some time but Kurt hardly minded at all. He knew in a while, the two of them would talk and things would be better between them.
Blaine got off at an exit and drove for a mile before parking on a hill somewhere. Kurts mouth dropped at the view. They could see the citys skyline absolutely perfectly from here. Blaine undid his seatbelt and got out of the car, and as Kurt stared at the bright lights of New York City looking back at him, his door was opened as well. Blaine held his hand out for him to take, and though hesitant, Kurt gave it to him.
They walked around to the front of the BMW. Blaine let go of Kurts hand and slid onto the hood of the car. He zipped up his sweater and then took in the view himself, exhaling at the beauty of it all. "Sit down."
Kurt was broken from his trance at the voice. It mightve been the fact that neither of them had spoken since they were in his room back at the condo. Kurt took a seat on the car and slid back so that he was side by side with his boss. They both went back to looking at the view, and Kurt wrapped his arms around himself with a small smile. He found the city so gorgeous all the time, but especially at night, and he really needed to thank Blaine for this.
"This is Weehawken, New Jersey. My parents live here now."
Kurt looked around the hills. It seemed like they were in a pretty suburban community. "Its beautiful."
Blaine nodded. "It is."
They went back to being quiet and Blaine moved closer as the music from inside the car continued to play. He looked at Kurt, smiling a bit. "Do you hate me?"
Kurt rolled his eyes at that. "I hate that you made me break my glasses."
Blaine simply smiled, chuckling at him. "Im sorry. Cooper has them. He said hell give you a call when theyre ready to be picked up. Itll probably be Saturday."
"Oh." Kurt turned to look at him. "So you didnt go to the gym…"
"I didnt." Blaine licked his lips, looking out at Manhattan. "I was going to but I went to my brothers place instead. I really needed to talk, you know?"
Kurt nodded. "I understand."
Blaine nodded too.
"So do you hate me, Blaine?"
"Never," he answered quickly. "I think Im more upset with myself for everything. While I say that, I dont think I regret it. I dont think I ever would."
Kurt simply stared at him, not sure how to advance the conversation.
"The fact of the matter is—and you have full permission to hate me after I say this but—I really like you, Kurt. Maybe Im not as straight as I thought I was, because Im very much attracted to you. But with that being said, this… what were doing, its wrong."
Kurt looked at him and then away, back to the skyline. A plane flew by overhead, probably leaving Newark Airport. Kurt nodded his head softly. "Youre right. And I know that. I may be young but, I know what you have, and that your family is important to you—"
"As are you."
"But Im not your family."
Blaine shook his head no. "Im not going to stop liking you. You know that."
Kurt shrugged, moving back on the car a bit. He closed his eyes. "What should we do? I know… you arent the type to cheat on your wife and I wouldnt ask you to. Thats just… I slipped up, Blaine. But this isnt who I am."
The older man was silent. They both didnt bother talking again after that for at least five minutes; each in their own world plagued with their own conflicting thoughts. But Blaine decided to speak after a moment, his hands in his pockets. He turned and looked at Kurt and smiled.
"Remember when you asked me if I was happy?"
Kurt looked at him, not speaking. Blaine turned away and continued.
"The answer is no. Its been no for years now. Since my little girl was just beginning pre-school. I felt… I dont know. Stuck."
Kurt sat up now, moving closer to Blaine.
"Thats when things started to seriously change. We were living in a one bedroom apartment in Clinton Hills, out in Brooklyn. And I went from being an overlooked paralegal to a respected lawyer. Id passed the New York State Bar Examination and my firm gave me a chance—let me prove that I was better than people thought I was. Since then, it was all uphill professionally. That didnt mean things at home were the same."
Kurt listened closely, giving the man his full attention. Something told him to reach out and take Blaines hand and he did so, brushing his thumb along the mans fingers. Blaine smiled softly but didnt look up. "Up until that point, Sarah was the breadwinner. Shed gotten hired by her parents right out of college and worked with Elle Fashion Magazine. She never had to internship for anything, or interview. It was handed to her. But during those first few years of our marriage, shed remind me that I barely made anything in comparison to her, and I was an asshole to make her sign a prenup when I had nothing."
Kurt rolled his eyes and looked away. Blaine looked at him and spoke. "I can tell you arent very comfortable around her, and I dont know if me telling you all of this helps…"
"If I can be honest with you…"
Blaine nodded.
"I dont think very highly of her and you could do better. I dont want to be a rude person, Mr. Anderson, and it isnt in my nature to, but Madison deserves so much better if you dont think that you do."
Blaine nodded more.
"Im sorry."
"Dont be." Blaine adjusted their hands so that they were holding each others. "Youre right."
Kurt shook his head and looked down at his legs.
"I climbed the ladder in my firm quickly. I give both of those girls whatever they ask me for. I think theyre well taken care of. But am I happy?" Blaine rubbed at Kurts hand and shrugged. "I dont think I have been."
"You arent," Kurt said. "If you have to think about it, then the answer is no. And Im not saying that because we did what we did, Mr. Anderson, I promise."
Blaine licked his lips at the Mr. Anderson. Kurt killed him.
"Im saying it because I know you really arent."
"And now I feel bad because Ive dragged you into our mess," Blaine told him. He looked up at the sky and took a deep breath. "You want to talk about who deserves better? Its definitely you. Great Britain better know how to fucking treat you."
Kurt smiled at that. "Jealous streak, huh?"
Blaine smirked. "Maybe I dont want his hands on you."
"Cant always get what you want, Blaine."
"Not always but…" he pulled Kurt closer to him and smiled. "Sometimes I can."
Kurt blushed, taking his hand back from Blaines and ignoring it when the man laughed. "Maybe we should set rules?"
Blaine hummed. "We only make out when shes asleep or not home."
"Oh my goodness, that is not what I was going to say!" Kurt laughed, blushing harder as he nudged him. "Seriously, you dont want to cheat on your wife with a 19 year old boy, Blaine. Think about that for a minute."
Blaine smiled, lying back and stretching a little. His sweater slipped up and Kurt peeked as he could see the mans navel and happy trail. "I dont want to cheat on my wife with anyone. Youre right. But I do want to be with you. Im in a bit of a pickle."
Kurt rolled his eyes away. "You dont mean that."
"What dont I mean?"
"You dont want to be with me."
Blaine rolled his eyes now. "You cant speak for me, Kurt."
"Well I know that for starters, youre married to a very powerful woman. Two, you have a phenomenal daughter with said woman. Three, youre partner at a law firm that probably loves your wife. And lastly, your family probably does as well. Now Mr. Anderson, you cant convince me that you want to be with a 19 year old, nerdy, awkward, uncoordinated boy."
Blaine sat up again and smiled, turning to Kurt. "So thats how you see yourself, huh?"
"Thats how the world sees me."
"Do you want to know how Blaine Anderson sees you, Kurt Hummel?"
Kurt looked at him, their eyes keeping each others locked.
"I think youre beautiful. I think youre brilliant. I think you have the power to command a room, youre just too afraid to do so. Youre 19, and yes, youre clumsy, but thats because I make you so hot you cant think straight," he paused when Kurt laughed, the boys cheeks flushed. "And you are going to go so far you have no idea, Kurt. Personally, I cant wait to say I fucking told you so."
Kurt shook his head, trying to hide the smile. "Youre really smooth. Ill give you that."
Blaine looked at his lips. "You really are beautiful."
The younger teen turned to him. "S-So are you."
"And no matter what you think, I would never be ashamed of you. I was ashamed of one thing I cared about, but I wouldnt neglect you like I neglected music."
Kurt shrugged. "It doesnt matter. You have a wife."
Blaine nodded. "I know."
"And Im the Anderson familys Nanny. Im not going to be a cliché and have an affair with my bosss husband."
Blaine smiled at that. "I know that too. Its a good thing one of us has a good bone left in our bodies. I think Im all out."
Kurt raised an eyebrow. "I doubt that."
"If you were a shitty person and wanted to, do you think I could tell you no?" Blaine asked; his eyes moving down to Kurts bare legs. Kurt smiled at him and crossed them.
"I do think your morals would factor in. I dont think thats who you are…. Unless youve cheated on her before."
"Never have."
"And you seriously wouldnt just divorce her?" Kurt asked, as if it is the most obvious choice here. "Or maybe ask for time apart? You obviously arent happy. And it doesnt have to be so you can see other people but just… just so that you two can work it out." Even though he knew a separation wouldnt actually help because Sarah had this other guy, he had to ask anyway.
Blaine nodded. "You sound a lot like my brother right now. Cooper hates her and he thinks I should leave."
Kurt shook his head. "I doubt he hates her."
"No, he definitely does. But I keep thinking about how my parents, oh how they would say I failed as a husband. I guess a lot is factoring into it… like how I would hate to have to split Madison between the two of us, and for her to have to experience anything but a loving home."
Kurt sighed. "A lie."
Blaine looked at him.
"Forget I said anything."
Blaine took his hand again. "Youre really amazing. I hope you know that."
"I do."
Blaine smiled.
They were quiet. Kurt watched the skyline for a moment as he enjoyed this time alone. This talk was going a little better than he expected. He did kind of wish that Blaine was more conflicted, though. This way, things would be easier on Kurt. Instead now, he had to deal with a man who actually had feelings for him. He had to live with that man, and his cheating wife, and their beautiful, innocent daughter who was in the middle of all of this.
"My friend Tim is a divorce lawyer at my firm. I spoke to him a couple times and—"
"Timothy?" Kurt asked, turning to him.
"Yeah," Blaine said, giving him a weird look. "Timothy OBrien. Anyway, we both talked about this and he says that if I want to divorce her, I should go ahead and do it. We could come up with a schedule so that we each get Maddie, but the numbers he projected I pay in child support were horrendous. And I dont want you thinking Im a deadbeat father because Im far from it, but $20,000 a month in child support? I already pay for Madisons schooling and pretty much everything. What the fuck is she gonna need $20,000 for?"
For Timothy and Sarah to spend while they laugh at you. "And Im guessing you dont want to file as custodial parent?"
Blaine shook his head. "I wanted to handle this the civil way. I wanted each of us to have her, you know? That was if things came to it and I needed to file for divorce. But I honestly dont want to deal with that."
Kurt nodded. "Im sorry youre going through this, Blaine."
Blaine stared out over the water. "Me too." He went quiet and then looked at Kurt. "So you said earlier that what we were doing… you never did anything like it before. So are you a virgin?"
Kurt turned a hot scarlet. "Wow. Um, that took a jump."
Blaine smiled. "Sorry, Kurt. I shouldve warned you or something."
"That wouldve been nice." He was now refusing to look at Blaine. The man laughed a bit.
"Im going to ask my brother if he can rush the glasses. I miss you in them."
Kurt smiled to himself, nodding as well. "I miss them too."
"And we want your stupid date to know the real Kurt, right?"
Kurt looked at him, trying not to smile too hard. "Youre something else, Blaine."
Blaine placed a hand on the small of Kurts back as they sat on top of the BMW. It heated Kurts entire body up on the cool May night. "I guess so."
Kurt licked his lips and looked down at the ring on his bosss hand. "I am a virgin."
The man stared at his lips as they said the word. "Is that so?"
Kurt nodded.
"Have you ever been kissed?"
Kurt looked at him before facing the city again. "Not in a way that counted."
Blaine lifted an eyebrow at that. "What if your date later on tonight tries to kiss you? Will you let him?"
Kurt shrugged. "Should I?"
"No."
"And why not?"
"Because I think I should be your first kiss."
Kurt smiled at him, his entire body on fire now. "Is that so? Why should you be my first real kiss?"
Blaine moved closer to him. "Easy. Youll need a kiss to compare Britains kiss to, and when he disappoints youll know that you need something better in your life."
Kurt smirked. "I love the confidence, Mr. Anderson."
"Theres nothing wrong with confidence, Mr. Hummel. Besides, not only do you want me to be your first kiss, because I can see it in your eyes, but Id be the first kiss you always dreamed about."
"Oh really? What is it that I dream about, Blaine?"
Blaine leaned in, whispering in his ear. Kurt bit his lip as Blaines hand slid over the side of his thigh. "You want your face to be cupped by strong hands, and soft lips to touch yours. You want him to take care of you and make you moan into it so that he can slide his tongue," Kurt inhaled sharply as Blaines hand slide beneath his shirt, "slowly between your lips. Then, you dreamed about how it would taste when you suck on it and deepened it until he was moaning back; his hands moving lower until they were on your hips. You wondered what youd do with yours," he whispered. "Would you put them on his thigh, or tangle them in his shirt? Would he have them laced with his own? And then," Blaine nosed at his earlobe, smiling when he felt Kurt shiver. "You slide your hand in your pants…"
"Blaine… Blaine," Kurt gasped as his bosss hand cupped him through the shorts he wore. "Oh fuck."
Blaine pulled back and smiled, looking down at his hand. "Oh… Im sorry. I guess I got a little carried away." He removed his hands and brought both back to himself, folding them in his lap. Kurt looked out of it; his eyes dark and an obvious bulge down low. His lips were dry from being parted for so long. The boy sat back and turned forward.
"Now I hate you."
Blaine laughed, running a hand down his face. "Yes. I would hate me after that too. That was extremely rude. I apologize."
Kurt shook his head. "I dont know if you realize but you were touching my… me... with the hand your wedding band is on."
Blaine looked down.
"That has to make you feel something."
"Makes me a little upset I guess."
Kurt sighed. "You guess?"
Blaine shrugged.
"You know what gets me is… Im not assuming that you want anything with me besides to mess around but, I actually like you. Im not just a toy for you to experiment with… to try and see if you like it or if it was just a phase."
Blaine looked at him. "I dont know what youre talking about."
"You do."
"Youre not a toy. I told you I kissed guys in college. If anything was an experiment it was that."
"But you didnt have them pinned to your living room floor."
"Because I didnt like them, smart ass," Blaine said with a laugh. "I like you. What I dont like right now is the entire United Kingdom. I blame all of the UK for your date later."
Kurt smiled, looking away. "Lets go home. You have to work in the morning and I have to get your Princess up."
Blaine moved closer to him. "Youre not mad at me, right? Can we be friends?"
Kurt laughed, slapping Blaine away when he began to tickle him. "We can be friends. I was going to ask you to be my first kiss but then you started tickling me."
Blaine smiled, his hands taking Kurts. "Youre full of shit."
"Im nothing if not honest."
Blaine looked down at his hand and removed the wedding band. Kurt watched him, the smile falling from his face as his boss slid it into his pocket. He retook Kurts hands and kissed them both. "I would be your first kiss if you wanted me to. Down the line we can discuss other firsts."
Kurt licked his lips and smiled, ducking his head. "Im going to hell for this."
"For making a man happy?" Blaine asked, lifting Kurts chin with his hand. "For showing me how fucked up my situation is? Then Ill come with you. We can share the same hand basket."
Kurt smiled, trying to duck his head again, but then Blaine leaned in; their lips close to touching.
"I want you to know something."
Kurt nodded.
"You are not my toy. If I ever, ever make you feel that way, you say something to me, Kurt. Hell, get the heck away from me if I ever made you feel that way, because you deserve so much more."
The teen closed his eyes, nodding. "I will. I just want you to kiss me."
Blaine smiled, rubbing his chin. "Why?"
Kurt opened them, seconds away from rolling his eyes. The man smiled. "Because I want you to be my first, Mr. Anderson."
The words changed something in Blaines eyes and Kurt licked his lips, leaning in slowly. Blaine closed the distance, and as their lips touched, he let his hand holding up Kurts chin cup the mans face.
It was so much more than what Kurt imagined it to be. That first kiss was sweet, and gentle, and made goose bumps rise on his skin and his heart skip a beat or two. He felt a chill go down his spine and he chased it when Blaine pulled away. But Blaine pulled away only for a second, adjusting the way his head was turned and then leaning back in, his other hand grabbing Kurts face and keeping him sheltered.
They kissed softly again. Kurts toe curled in his slippers, and while he tried not to moan, it slipped, and at the beautiful sound, Blaine brushed his thumbs along Kurts jaw and deepened the kiss.
His tongue swiped across Kurts lips at first. He then focused on the bottom lip, sucking gently and nibbling his way across. Kurt inhaled, taking it in. Everything felt good right now. He parted his lips, allowing the older man to have his way, and Blaine ran his tongue across the bottom lip to the top, and then finally inside.
Kurt all but melted at the feeling; the taste. It was spearmint, and caramel from that coffee he loved, and something else sweet. Blaine groaned, wanting to be closer, his fingers spreading into Kurts hair as his thumbs brushed the teens red earlobes. Kurt really had no clue what to do with his hands. He settled one on Blaines thigh and started to moan as he sucked on the mans tongue, the other moving up the fabric of his back.
The song changed on the radio to Thinkin Bout You by Frank Ocean. They could hear it a little since the windows were rolled down. Kurt opened his eyes a little bit to take this all in—it was evident at this point that this was way more than what he bargained for when he imagined his first kiss—probably a peck on the lips after a date—but he wasnt mad at all. If this was how Blaine was going to deliver on a first of his, then hell, he would probably give the man them all.
But he shouldnt.
Blaines eyes were still closed as they kissed, though it was beginning to slow down now; soft pecks and light nibbles and a gasp of frustration on Blaines behalf because he definitely wanted to do more right now. Kurt closed his eyes again and smiled into the kisses, starting to pull back. This time, Blaine chased him—his hand resting on Kurts waist. They looked each other in the eyes and Kurt allowed Blaine one more kiss, though neither man was interested in letting go.
Eventually, Kurt did. He dropped his hands from where they ended up on the mans shoulder and turned to look at the skyline again. Blaine continued to look at him, but Kurt was much too nervous to face him again. He wasnt sure why at this point—he definitely wasnt playing the shy card a minute ago, but after the deed was done; he didnt know how to… act.
Blaine licked his lips as he stared, trying to calm himself down. Deep breaths were needed. "You taste amazing, Kurt."
Kurt bit his lip into a small smile as his face somehow colored even darker. "S-So do you."
Blaine looked at him. "Why dont I feel bad?"
Maybe because your wife is a terrible human being who treats you like shit? "I dont know."
Blaine rubbed the nape of his neck, looking back out over the water. "Did you like it?"
Kurt laughed at that. "I loved it."
"Me too."
They remain perched on the edge of the BMW. Kurt allowed Blaine to take his hand and pull him forward, smiling when the man kissed his cheek. "I guess I can take you home now."
Kurt dug for his cell phone, looking down at it. "Its almost 1 in the morning. That sounds like a good idea."
Blaine smiled. "Yeah. You have a big date later on."
"His name is Adam so you dont have to call him Britain anymore."
"Adam…" Blaine walked hand in hand with Kurt to the passenger side. "Kurt and Adam. Adam and Kurt. I dont like it."
Kurt smiled, turning around and finding himself stumbling into Blaines arms. They looked down and Kurt winced as he saw what he tripped over. "Ouch."
"Are you ok?" Blaine asked, smiling as his hands slid down to Kurts waist.
"Im fine." He removed them with a smirk. "And as I was about to say, youre not allowed to be mean to him before I meet him. He could be a great guy. Isnt that what you were saying?"
Blaine bit his lip and smiled. "I said that. Youre right."
"Exactly."
"Get in the car," Blaine said, smiling as Kurt turned around. "It doesnt matter whether hes a great guy or not. Hell never make you feel the things I can."
"Well see…"
Blaine closed the door after him and Kurt laughed to himself in the car, watching the man huff as he walked to the drivers side. Ok. This was going to be fun. He could probably make Blaine extremely jealous with this, screw over that wench Sarah Anderson like shed been screwing Blaine over for years, and score five thousand dollars out of it.
"You have to look at the plus sides, Kurt," he told himself above the music.
Blaine got in the car and looked at him, pulling the teen over the center console into another kiss. Kurt breathed in when he was let go, and Blaine put the car in reverse, pulling out. The teen smiled to himself as he sat back in the car, licking his lips.
"You taste nice."
…
The morning went by in a blur. Sarah pretended to be friendly with him when he got up to get Madison ready. Blaine had already left for the morning, but there were a few texts on his phone from him. Two of them said dont kiss Adam tonight and another had the address and time he could go to Coopers office to pick up his brand new glasses. Blaine said his older brother was going to give him a spare pair, free of charge.
After Maddie was at school, Kurt wanted to kill time by going out somewhere. Being inside the condo only made him think of everything he didnt exactly want to think about. He had no idea what he and Blaine were doing. Being someones sidepiece and helping them carryout an extramarital affair was not the man Kurt thought he would be, but he hated Sarah and he knew deep inside that Blaine really cared for him. Something told him hed end up getting his heart broken or that hed end up having Madison hate him if everything ever got out, and that was enough to make him think twice about it all, but it didnt stop him from wanting Blaine as much as he wanted him.
Especially after that kiss. Kurt sighed.
He ended up in Midtown with his friend Tina for a few hours before he went a bit further downtown towards the Barnes and Noble. He looked through comic books and then at new childrens books, buying a couple for Maddie. He aimlessly walked up 8th Avenue and went into a music shop, buying a vinyl record he thought Blaine would like and then got on a bus towards Cooper Andersons ophthalmology office. It dawned on Kurt how bad this was getting when he realized that he bought a gift for the boss he was messing around with. This was getting bad.
But then, a text.
From Blaine:
You wont believe what book I just bought you.
Then, another.
From Blaine:
Alright, its not like I was going out of my way to buy you something. I happened to walk into a bookstore with my assistant and she picked it up, and I remember you saying you wanted to read it but it was sold out at B&N. Thats all.
Kurt smiled as he took a seat next to an elderly woman on the bus.
To Blaine:
I mayve bought you something too. On impulse, because I knew you would love it.
From Blaine:
So well show each other when we see each other again? Youll probably be gone for the weekend when I get in tonight. Its a long Friday for me.
From Blaine:
But if you kiss Adam, you arent getting my gift.
Kurt laughed aloud, getting a few looks from the passengers. He apologized and went back to typing.
To Blaine:
Youre very mature.
From Blaine:
Im stressing out over it.
To Blaine:
Dont.
From Blaine:
Because youre mine, right?
Kurt rolled his eyes with a smile.
To Blaine:
Not really. I just dont want you to give yourself a heart attack, old man. :P
He waited a few minutes before a reply came through.
From Blaine:
Ok, Kurt. Youre paying for that one on Monday. Also, Im giving your book to the first homeless man I see.
Kurt smiled.
To Blaine:
Im at your brothers office. Well talk later. Have a good day.
From Blaine:
Tell Cooper hello. I hope your date sucks tonight.
To Blaine:
I hope Adam sucks tonight.
From Blaine:
That isnt funny. Kurt.
From Blaine:
Kurt.
To Blaine:
I was joking! Sorry. Xo
From Blaine:
Xo. Behave yourself.
Kurt stepped off the bus and crossed the street. The doctors office was on the Upper West Side as well, but not entirely close to the condo. Kurt observed the lovely neighborhood as he walked along Riverside Drive, entering the building a couple minutes later.
The receptionist smiled at him and looked at the time. "You must be Mr. Hummel. Dr. Anderson is expecting you."
Kurt smiled back, nodding. "I am. Do I have to sign in or anything?"
"Just show me ID," the woman told him. "Ill let you right in."
He did as was asked of him and went into the back office. He just about stopped in his tracks because Cooper Anderson looked highly delicious. Wow. Were all the Anderson men this gorgeous?
"Oh," Cooper smiled at him as he stood up, stretching out his hand. He had on a white button up, dark pants, and his suede shoes were no less than five hundred dollars. "Blaine was right. You are very handsome."
Kurt took his hand, an eyebrow lifted. The man laughed.
"Im sorry. That slipped. My brother came to my place last night, woke up my kids, and vented to my wife and I about how much he likes you. No big deal."
Kurt watched the man turn away and walk over to the new pairs of glasses.
"I have an appointment in a couple minutes but this shouldnt take long. Try them on."
Kurt accepted the cases and shook his head no. "Um. These… these are name brands. I cant afford them. I mean…" he thought about the five thousand dollars, "I probably could but Im not much of a spendthrift."
"Sure?" Cooper asked. "Im sure thats a vinyl record in your bag. Seems like you are a bit of a spendthrift."
Kurt looked down.
"And Im not charging you, Kurt. Just try them on and let me know if theyre good."
Kurt dropped his bags. "I need to take my contacts out."
Cooper smiled at him and nodded, gesturing to the sink. "Take a case and some solution and youre good to go."
Kurt went over and removed them, the older Anderson singing to the music playing in his office as he took a seat at his desk, moving equipment out of the way. "Hows my Maddie doing?"
Kurt washed his hands again. "Shes amazing."
Cooper nodded. "One weekend Ill take her so that you and Blaine can go out and do something fun."
"Excuse me?"
"Nothing." The man turned around. "Try them on."
They were burgundy much like his old ones, but these were Gucci brand. He looked around and sure enough, everything was clear.
"Its good."
"Next pair."
The next pair was great as well. They were black though, and Michael Kors. Kurt rolled his eyes. Normal glasses wouldve worked just as well.
"Theyre good. Thank you, Dr. Anderson."
Cooper smiled. "Dont sweat it. Have fun on your date tonight."
"How much has he told you?"
The man laughed. "Enough, Kurt. Enough."
…
"Damn. Damn baby… like DAMN. Maybe you should leave with me."
Kurt rolled his eyes at Sebastian as he walked up to the night club. "I really cant believe Im here. I cant believe you convinced me to do this, Bas."
Sebastian had been drooling until Kurt pinched him. "Ow!"
"Can you focus and stop ogling me?"
Sebastian licked his lips and looked away. "Sorry. Shit. But damn…"
Kurt laughed, walking away. "I dont know why I bother."
Sebastian grinned, following after him. "You look amazing. White Henley shirt, white jeans, black boots, black suspenders. Those are new glasses too. If I didnt want you to ride Mr. Anderson into the sunset Id totally say screw Adam and try to get your number right now."
"You have my number you idiot." Kurt smiled, pushing him away. "Lets not talk about Mr. Anderson tonight."
Sebastian smiled. "Well it worked. Youre loosened up. And ok, we dont have to. Tomorrow though…"
Kurt nodded. "Tomorrow."
They waited on line and got into the club 15 minutes after. Sebastian led the way, smiling when he saw Hunter.
"Hey baby."
Hunter kissed him and then turned to face Kurt. "Wow. Hello, Kurt… you look… Well, Im hard."
Sebastian smiled at his best friend. "You see?"
Kurt was nervous. He was about to see this blind date of his and didnt know what to do… how to act. God, hed probably put his foot in his mouth.
"So this is the beautiful Kurt Ive heard so much about?"
Kurt turned around at the voice and gave a small smile when he saw him. Adam was attractive, for sure. And ok, that accent wasnt half bad. The man looked at him and held out his hand.
"Everything I heard was absolutely correct. You are insanely beautiful. Im Adam Crawford."
Kurt nodded, taking his hand. "Thank you, Adam. Kurt Hummel. Its lovely to meet you."