Chapter 10

“Sing for me.”

“Tell me you love me.”

“Sing for me first.”

Blaine smiled but shook his head no. “I will sing any song you want if you tell me you love me.”

“You know the dynamics of this relationship. I get what I want, babe. You know you can’t tell me ‘no’,” Kurt climbed onto his lap. “You love it when I’m satisfied.”

“Say it,” Blaine licked his lips and tried hard not to smile as Kurt kissed his forehead. “Tell me you love me.”

“I love cheesecake.”

Blaine pinched him and the man laughed. “Tell me that no one else matters.”

Kurt pulled back and looked into his eyes. “You’re the only one that matters, Blaine. You’re my everything and I don’t know what I’d do if I were to lose you. So don’t leave me.”

Blaine smiled. “Tell me that you love me.”

Kurt kissed him and Blaine smiled, feeling the man pull back to look at him.

“Blaine Anderson...”

Blaine bit his lip as their eyes met. “Yes, beautiful?”

“I love you. I always will love you.” Kurt ran his fingers through the dark hair. “Tomorrow, and the next day, and the decade after that.”

“BLAAAINEEEE!”

Blaine looked up from his textbook and found Finn and Puck standing over his bed. He sat up with a tired stretch and looked at them.

“Dude…?”

Blaine rubbed the nape of his neck and forced a smile. “My bad guys, I was in another world…”

“Yeah,” Puck stared at him. “We noticed.”

“There’s no need for you to sit in here looking like your dog died, man. Come on, we’ll go out somewhere.”

Blaine looked at his best friend and shook his head, looking down at his cell phone. Kurt still hadn’t called and he didn’t know what to think really. “I’m good here.”

“We’re going to the sports bar on Rottkamp,” Puck tossed Blaine a pair of red jeans, “so get dressed and let’s get going. I don’t want to have to come back up here and drag your ass out of bed.”

Finn smiled at Blaine’s reaction. “It’ll be good to get out. It’ll take your mind off of Kurt being gone and we can try to get things back to normal.”

“Back to when he was with someone else you mean?” Blaine blurted out before he could catch himself. Finn raised an eyebrow at him and Puck glared at the running back.

“Um no, not what I meant. Not what I meant at all, dude.”

“Just get dressed, Anderson.” Puck turned around and started to leave. “It’s not our fault that you were too much of a wimp to tell him that you wanted him.”

Blaine grabbed the pair of pants and rubbed his jaw. “Thank you for the support.”

“Whatever. Come on Finnigan.”

Finn smiled at Blaine before following after Puck. “C’mon B. I promise we’ll take your mind off things, ok?”

Blaine didn’t answer. He lay back down and took a deep breath, looking down at his silent phone. He honestly didn’t know what to make of what James had told him and he knew Kurt would call him as soon as he could but this was weird.

Maybe there was a chance that Kurt was with Felix right now. Maybe there was a chance he was dumb to think they could have anything. Maybe this past week wasn’t what he thought it was in his head.

If Kurt played him like James said, that would for sure be the last time he trusted anyone.

….

“We’re so happy you’re back, Kurt. I probably shouldn’t say anything but… woah you’re walking fast,” Felix laughed as he rushed to catch up to what he hadn’t yet realized was a furious Kurt Hummel. “A bunch of the crew from NYADA are back at my place. We’re having a little get together for everyone who went away for break and… Kurt will you slow down?”

Kurt walked harder, feeling his anger burn his chest. He wasn’t sure there were words for how pissed off he was at his ex-boyfriend right now. He also didn’t know in how many ways he could communicate that he wasn’t interested and for Felix to do that… to hug and kiss him in a very public place like that wasn’t a problem at all… Kurt gripped the handle of his luggage as he stormed off.

“Well,” Felix caught up so that they were side by side, wondering why Kurt was in such a bad mood. “We’re going to be getting ready for the Spring shows.... Did… I mean who was your friend back there? Did he do something to make you upset?”

Kurt exited the terminal and bit down on his tongue as he looked for a taxi. He could hear his cell phone ringing but ignored it for the time being.

“I drove here, Kurt. We can just go—“

“I’m not getting in the car with you.” Kurt turned back so he was facing Felix and though the man was taller, Kurt stared into his green eyes. “I’m not going back to your place for a get together either. Just leave me alone. Please.”

Felix appeared to be taken aback as he sat down one of his ex’s suitcases. After a moment, he found himself staring at the countertenor’s arm. “When… a tattoo? Since when would you get a tattoo—“

“Why would you kiss me, Felix? I told you that I didn’t want to be anything other than your friend, and you agreed to that. So why the fuck would you show up here and kiss me? You’re only making me look like a bad person.”

Felix smiled a bit as he looked around at people starting to gather at the commotion. He could see the guy who was with his ex earlier smiling from a distance before he finally walked away.

“I—I missed you a lot, you know that. I guess I just got caught in the moment. I’m sorry but I’m only human. You know how I feel about you, Kurt. We have history after all…” he trailed off as people pretended they weren’t standing around trying to pay attention. “I guess I just got caught up like I said.”  

Kurt shook his head as a taxi driver got out to help him with his things.

“You’re really going to take a taxi when I drove all the way from Brooklyn to pick you up?”

“Yes.” Kurt handed Felix his flowers back. “I’m not accepting these.”

Felix looked around as people stared before he shook his head. He hesitantly took the flowers. “Kurt… you’re being really fucking weird.”

“Leave me alone.”

“I said sorry…. Just let me drive you back to my place where everyone is waiting and we can talk about whatever has gotten you so upset—“

“You want to talk about what’s gotten me upset, Felix?” Kurt turned around and his ex-boyfriend hadn’t ever seen him look so furious. He swallowed hard as Kurt approached and someone behind him gasped outside the terminal. “For starters, I just said goodbye to someone a few hours ago that I won’t get to wake up next to tomorrow and it’s something that I don’t want to think about, but of course, all I could think about on the way back to New York was him and how much I was going to miss seeing the way he’d look at me when he told a ridiculous joke that he really wanted me to laugh at. Oh, that, and how much I really fucking hate turbulence. And then we get back here and I have to deal with a jackass who I can barely stand to be around who I know hates me, as well as someone who I thought was my friend not  respecting any of my wishes—“

“You…Y-You met someone in Florida?” Felix cut in, not believing what he was hearing. His head started to spin. “What? I—“

“I’m not finished,” Kurt’s voice only got louder. “You never fucking listen to me Felix. You only hear what you want to and then you construe that version of it into some way that benefits you. For once I need you to understand that this isn’t about you—“

“I come to pick you up and take you back to a party I threw for you and this is the response I get?” Felix looked dejected as Kurt took a few breaths. “All of this because you met some new guy?”

“No,” Kurt shook his head. “All of this because you have no respect for me. How hard it is to understand that I just want to be your friend? The same fucking conversation over and over and you still don’t give a damn about what I have to say, and believe it or not it’s only making me want nothing to do with you.”

Felix looked away.

“Until you can understand that, please don’t call me. Don’t text me, don’t ask my friends about me. Don’t try to come over to my place to hang out. Don’t do anything, Felix. I’m just… so over this. And I mean it.”

“Fine.”

Kurt looked back to the terminal and shook his head when James was nowhere to be found. He knew for sure that the man had wasted no time calling Blaine and he sighed, not looking forward to having to explain this. He just wanted Blaine to trust him and not even an hour after he landed something like this happened.

The taxi driver cleared his throat and Kurt turned to him and nodded. He got inside and the door was closed behind him as Felix stood there. It was only a moment before the car was pulling off and Felix nodded to himself as he walked away; people finally leaving once the scene was over.

This was what he got for giving Kurt all he had and actually caring for him.

….

“You want to slow down, man?” Finn asked his best friend; an eyebrow raised as Blaine finished off another beer. “Is this because you miss Kurt? Dude we see him again in like a month, relax.”

Blaine signaled the bartender for another.

Wes took a seat on the other side of him and smiled. “What’s up, fellas?”

“Blaine is drinking away his sorrows,” Finn turned around and looked amongst the patrons of the bar. “There’s really nothing here for me, though. The Miami Heat are up by like 23 at halftime and there’s no way we’re coming back. I should go home.”

Blaine slapped a few bucks on the bar and watched as the bartended took the top off of his bottle. He winked at him and placed it down. “Anything you want to talk about champ?”

Blaine simply shook his head no.

“Well I’m here if you need me. I’ll even pour you a shot,” the bartender handed the money back to Blaine and smiled, running his fingers along his hand. “It’s all on the house, cutie.”

Finn turned around and glared at him. “Back off, he’s taken.”

The bartender smiled and walked back to the other end. Blaine shook his head and put the bottle to his lips.

“You do realize that people are going to think we’re dating now, right?” Blaine asked, taking a drink.

Finn looked away.

“So what number is that?” Wes smirked at Blaine and elbowed him in the side. Blaine only shrugged and looked down at his phone as it started to ring. He saw Kurt’s name flash there and picked it up, only Finn took it away.

“You’re drunk. Probably not a good idea…”

Blaine took another huge gulp and then stumbled down from his stool. He reached for the phone and Finn shook his head no.

“Not happening, bro.”

“Finn… I’m am not drunk. I only had a few—“

“Yeah we’re going to take you home now,” Puck came over and wrapped his arm around the man’s shoulders. “The idea was for you to get out of your room and stop sulking, not come here and get stupidly drunk and make a fool of yourself, hot shot.”

Blaine pulled away and headed straight to the exit.

“Hey,” Finn followed behind his friends as he answered Blaine’s phone, shaking his head at the running back’s shaky walk. “Little bro, Blaine’s a little shitfaced right now so I don’t know if I want to put him on but—“

“Is everything ok? Where are you guys?”

Finn stepped out of the bar and it was a lot better without the loud music. “We went to a sports bar to watch a playoff game, you know… just to get out of the house. Blaine was in his room kind of dead and shit.”

Kurt waited a while before his reply. “Ok… just. I guess let him know I called when he isn’t shitfaced… and do you know why he got drunk by any chance? Did he say anything?”

Finn shook his head no as Blaine and Puck started to fight a little. The shorter man was eventually forced into the backseat by Wes and Puck. “He wouldn’t say much, actually. We just assumed it’s because he misses you and what not. Plus he didn’t get to ask you if you would be his…—I mean, he didn’t get to um… oh wow I have another call coming in.”

Kurt didn’t say anything.

“Bye, Kurt.”

“Uh huh. I love you Finn.”

“I love you too little bro.”

Puck pulled out the car keys and got into the driver’s seat. Finn took a deep breath and walked over to the car.

“That was a close one,” he mumbled to himself.

….

The door to the loft slid open at around 9:30 in the morning. Kurt groaned as he rolled over in bed and checked the time. He didn’t think Rachel was just getting in from that get together at Felix’s with all of their friends from NYADA at this time but she definitely didn’t come in last night. Kurt would know. He was wide awake the entire time. One thing was sure, though. Without a doubt, she’d come straight to his bedroom and ask a million and one questions about what happened between him and Felix. If Kurt’s ex already told his side of the story, lord only knows how bad he made him look.

Surely enough, the curtains to the man’s room rolled back and Rachel poked her head in. She smiled at him and held up a container. “I missed you last night. I didn’t forget your ice cream. It’s chocolate and vanilla…”

Kurt smiled a bit and sat up. “You only brought a pint?”

Rachel walked in slowly, looking around the room. She took a seat on the bed and looked at her best friend. “Well Brody dropped me off at a 711 and that’s all they had.”

Kurt nodded. “I’ll take what I can get.”

“Long night, huh?” the girl asked, pushing her bangs away from her eyes.

“I’m sure you heard. I’ve been laying here trying to sleep but… it doesn’t feel right.” He took the ice cream and spoon from her and wasted no time opening it. “So lay it on me. Tell me I’m a jackass.”

Rachel looked at him before kicking her shoes off and lying down. Her clothes were damp from the rainstorm starting outside but Kurt didn’t even bother telling her to go away. He needed some company. The girl eventually spoke. “Tell me about Blaine.”

Kurt stopped mid scoop and looked at the girl’s face. Her eyes were closed but he could tell she wasn’t anywhere near tired. But still, he knew where she stood on the whole Blaine situation and it was similar to where she stood with Finn. “What do you want to know?”

“I don’t know… everything,” she looked up at the ceiling, “I guess specifically what makes him different from anyone else.”

“From Felix?”

“From everyone, Kurt.” Rachel rolled over and their eyes met. “I’m assuming you and him hit it off pretty well. It seemed that every time I called or messaged, you were near him. That’s unlike you… you like your ‘you’ time. So I want to hear why it wasn’t that way with Blaine.”

Kurt licked the spoon and then looked down at her. “I don’t have to try with him. Everything just comes natural and even though this is going to sound corny, it feels like we were predestined from the beginning of time. Like it was written…. Or maybe we knew each other in a past life and we’re taking off from there.”

Rachel laid her head in his lap.

“I’m not going to act like we’re perfect because that’s hardly it. Like you know, we started off in the bedroom and we were both completely happy with that. Then he started getting possessive and I don’t know why but I liked it. You know I hate that.”

“I know,” Rachel thought to herself. “Only you don’t.”

Kurt shook his head no. “I don’t with him. I like feeling like I’m his. I like feeling like he’s mine. I adore watching him play his guitar and hearing him sing, and I love the way he holds me and how we can talk about anything. We did so much in a week… we played football by the lake and sat in the living room watching old movies. We crashed a wedding and sang a duet, we spent most of the night on Miami Beach staring at the stars and just talking about how much we wanted… each other. I can’t speak for Blaine but I know that I don’t want to lose him to someone else…”

“So you’re boyfriends?”

Kurt shook his head and took another bite.

Rachel sighed. “What are you afraid?” she secretly thought Finn and wondered if what her fears were with losing him was anything like what her best friend was facing with this new guy. As much as she liked Brody, he would never be Finn.

“I don’t think it’s that. I feel a bit more courageous since he’s been in my life but it’s just that I don’t want to hold him back. Who wants to spend their senior year tied down to someone like me whose in New York when they can—“

“Shut your trap, dummy. You know that he feels something for you.”

Kurt took a deep breath. “We got matching tattoos.”

Rachel sat up and smirked. “Are you serious? Felix mentioned a tattoo in his rant last night… somewhere in between you not wanting to hear from him anymore and you falling for someone else. But I didn’t know they matched…”

He didn’t bother rolling up his pajama top’s sleeve to show her and instead pulled up the picture they took on his cell phone. Kurt watched her face and waited for the ‘wow you guys are fucking idiots!’, only it never came.

“What else did Felix say?” he asked.  

“He told me he kissed you,” Rachel said. “And that you embarrassed him in front of a lot of strangers. Santana laughed and he got really upset. They argued but eventually things went back to normal.”

Kurt rolled his eyes and let her have his phone as he ate more ice cream. “He laid one on me in the middle of JFK International Airport with Blaine’s thirsty… whatever James is… standing right there. After I stressed that I’m not interested how many times? Why would he even…I still don’t understand.”

Rachel glared at him obviously. “If you broke up with me and kept doing me I’d probably be a little confused too to be honest.”

“It’s been a long time since I did him and I’m pretty sure I’m always drunk when it happened. Maybe not a long time but long enough for him to know that I was serious when I told him no over and over again last time we spoke. Since then,” Kurt shrugged, “I’m pretty sure I’ve been clear about what I needed. Now I don’t even want him around so please don’t invite him over here.”

Rachel nodded. “Don’t worry about it. But it’ll be fun seeing him in school and rehearsal for Company.”

Kurt watched the girl smile at something on his cell phone. “I’ll live.”

“This picture of the two of you is cute. He’s really hot…”

Kurt looked at the photo she showed him and nodded. “Finn told me he got drunk tonight.” 

Rachel sat up and passed the phone back when it started to ring. “Then this conversation should be interesting. He’s calling.”

Kurt put the ice cream down on his dresser and rushed to pick up the phone. He watched his best friend traipse out of the room as the call connected. “Hello?”

“Hey…” Blaine’s voice sounded tired and Kurt looked at the time again. “I’m sorry they wouldn’t let me talk to you last night.”

“No, it’s fine,” Kurt lay back, “It’s really early though. You can get some rest and we’ll talk a bit later. I’m guessing you’re really hung over,” he forced a laugh and Blaine groaned a little.

“I’m not,” the frat boy told him. “I want to talk to you now. I think we have a lot to talk about. Besides, the hangover isn’t so bad. I had some Mickey D’s.”

Kurt smiled. “I miss you, Blaine.”

“I deleted that email I wrote.”

Kurt lay back down in bed and sighed. “Did—… I’m guessing you heard from James last night… I was lucky enough to run into him.”

After a moment, there was a reply. It sounded small. “I did. Usually I wouldn’t answer but… I did this time.”

Kurt played with the fabric of his bed sheets as he looked over at his unpacked luggage. “You didn’t say you miss me back.”

Blaine still didn’t speak, and Kurt closed his eyes trying not to cry.

“But that’s fine,” he said. “It doesn’t change anything.”

“Are you still with him?”

Kurt smiled even though his eyes were getting wetter and wetter. “Do you honestly think I would lie to your face this whole fucking week, Blaine? Do you think I was bullshitting you about how I felt?”

“I don’t know what to think. That’s why I’m calling you I guess.”

Kurt shook his head and turned to look out the window. He really wished the sun would come out. Maybe that would help his mood.

“I miss you too but I don’t know if I want to deal with this.”

Kurt closed his eyes.

“Say something.”

“I… part of me feels really stupid, Blaine. Because I thought there was a chance that I’d get back to New York and you’d be the last person that I’d kissed. I still have marks on my hips and I can still feel you. It’s just what I wanted. But… part of me thought that maybe I could say you were the only guy I’d kiss for the rest of my life. And then I get here and I have one guy in my face taunting me and another acting like every conversation we’ve held in the past couple weeks didn’t exist and—“

“I want to believe you, Kurt.”

“Either you believe me, or you don’t. I can’t help that the dumbass did what he did but I dealt with the situation.”

Blaine sighed.

“I haven’t slept yet so maybe I should get off and try to do that. You can think about things or go back to sleep or go get drunk again. Whatever you want to do.”

“Don’t try to put any blame on me, Kurt.”

“I’m not,” Kurt adjusted the phone and closed his eyes again. “Just do what you want. I have nothing but my word and if that isn’t good enough for you then I’m sorry.”

After a while of silence, Blaine finally answered. “Get some rest, Kurt. We’ll talk later.”

Kurt wiped a tear away and nodded. “Bye Blaine.”

“Goodbye.”

….

Only they didn’t talk later.

On Monday, Kurt found himself back in class. It was hard to focus on the lesson or engage with his peers as usual. People noticed by Thursday that maybe this was more than just ‘still in Spring Break mode’ behavior, and Professor Molin had commented when Kurt was slacking during rehearsal for their play. That was where he drew the line.

Kurt really did want to reach out to Blaine, but what was the point? If Blaine didn’t trust him when it came to what happened at the airport— practically half an hour after he was back in New York, then how would he trust him now? How would they be friends or even more if they couldn’t overcome the first hurdle? A hurdle that shouldn’t have even happened in the first place.

The only good thing about all of this was Felix had backed off. Though it did make Kurt a little sad because they were good friends, he knew he’d get over it. Felix’s behavior really cost him something precious and it was really such shit.

Burt had bought tickets to Kurt’s opening night performance and would be in New York City in a few weeks. Kurt was excited. He really needed to see his dad. Hopefully Carole could tag along too and his parents could help take his mind off of things. Hopefully.

That weekend, Kurt decided that he wasn’t going to let this hold him back. He still had dreams he wanted to reach and this role was definitely a move toward that.

“If it’s meant to be, we’ll see each other again,” Kurt told himself as he sat at his work desk. “It’ll be.”

….

Blaine yawned loudly as he stretched on the track. One of his teammates turned to face him and Blaine could tell by the look on the sophomore’s face that he didn’t want him to screw this up.

There was a lot riding on this relay race, at least for the other guys. Blaine was only there because his football coach recommended he participate in track and field activities during the off season to keep sharp. Coach Watson also had Finn and Blaine play football with some development league when they had the time. It would keep them in shape and when it was time to enter the NFL draft, they’d thank him.

Usually, Blaine enjoyed track and field. However, there was a relay race today that if won would allow the University of Florida to qualify for a national competition and Blaine could barely concentrate. He hadn’t been able to concentrate on much of anything over the past few days; most of them were filled with studying for classes and doing a bit of community service with his fraternity and then writing out texts to Kurt he never sent.

Now, he was yawning while he stretched for the race against Georgia State and his teammates looked less than pleased.

Blaine stood up and looked around the stadium. More people than usual came out to watch. It was rare that they’d get this turn out on a weekday with so many students having classes. Blaine rolled his neck and looked at the officials as the coach for Georgia walked over to say a few words to them. He pretended not to see the senior on the other team who he screwed after a football road game back in September because he knew he’d probably want to have a replay of that.

That wasn’t happening.

He also pretended not to see James in the stands. The officials announced that the race would start soon and Blaine nodded to his teammates who slapped five with him before going to his station. As he walked, he wished he could look up in the stands and see Kurt there cheering him on instead of a guy he’d been avoiding since James arrived back in Florida, but of course that wasn’t possible. And of course, James wasn’t going to give up. He wasn’t the ‘give up’ type.

“Hey,” James called out as Blaine walked along the track past his area of the bleachers. “I’ve been ringing you and you’ve been ignoring me. What gives?”

Blaine shook his head as James hopped over the barrier and onto the track. “Not now, James. I need to focus for this race.”

“You’re going to kill these guys,” James smiled as he caught up to him; eyes going over Blaine’s tight compression shorts and fitted sleeveless Gator running shirt. “And the uniform looks almost as good on you as your football one does. Your ass is amazing.”

Blaine took a deep breath as a member of the Georgia State team stared at them while he walked by. Blaine turned around. “I’m kind of busy here. What is it that you want?”

“Can we hang out later? I miss you, and I’m guessing you’re still upset over what happened with Kurt because that stupid tattoo on your arm tells me you really thought you two were serious,” James laughed and Blaine clenched his fist, “and I think I can help you take your mind off of things. I’ll take you out to dinner or to a movie. What do you say?”

“Anderson!” the track and field coach shouted from his position on the side, “Get to your station! We’re ready to begin.”

Blaine nodded and started to jog away from James. “I’ll call you later.”

“I’ll be here after you guys win, just come find me,” James said with a smile, hurrying to get off of the track. Blaine hurried to his station and got ready.

As the gunshot went off and the first two guys started to run, Blaine took a deep breath and looked down at his tattoo. The crowd shouted encouragement and he knew he should try and focus on the race—he was going last after all and that was the hugest part of the relay, but Kurt would not leave his mind.

Of course calling him and talking to him would solve all of this, but Blaine didn’t know if he wanted to. He trusted Kurt but he still had his worries.

….

Kurt looked up from his cell phone and to the stage when they announced Santana. The crowd hollered and he smiled, clapping his hands together. She’d been performing at the lounge less and less lately with other opportunities happening for her, but Kurt and his friends made every performance that she did do. He, Santana, Rachel, Sam, and Artie came a long from McKinley and since they were all together in NYC, they made motions to support one another in all their endeavors.

Unfortunately, Felix was another friend of Santana’s that felt the need to support her too. But he sat far from Kurt and had no intentions of looking his way, apparently.

So not only had Kurt lost Blaine out of this whole thing, but he’d lost another friend too.

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

“Is this seat taken?”

Kurt looked away from Santana singing on stage to the tall, dark, and handsome gentleman standing near his table. He smiled and shook his head no, sliding over a bit. “It’s free.”

The man smiled and took a seat. “I’m going to head to the bar in a minute. Can I get you anything…?”

“Kurt,” he answered. “But I’m fine. Thank you.”

“Ok, Kurt. I’m Max, by the way.” he smiled and Kurt noticed his hazel eyes before the man looked away. He shook his head and sat back, looking up to the stage. Sam chose that moment to look back at them and smile; only it dropped when Kurt adamantly shook his head no.

[From Finn]:

I’m not going to be able to make it to your opening night but when we get there for Tommy’s birthday, you bet your ass we’ll be there. The whole crew will be there, so I hope you enjoy having a rowdy group of frat boys in the first few rows.

Kurt smiled at the message until it made him realize that Blaine may be in that rowdy group. Or maybe he’d skip the show altogether. Kurt didn’t know which one he wanted more.

[To Finn]:

I can’t wait, big bro.

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you’re missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go
And you let her go

“So do you come here often, Kurt?”

Kurt smiled as he slipped his phone into his pocket, listening to Santana’s singing. “Does that line work on other guys?”

Max played at his neck tie before moving brown hair away from his face. He smiled. “I’m new at this, actually. I haven’t been single in a long time but now I am and… it’s been some time since I had a date.”

Kurt smiled back and nodded. “I know someone who is single, unlike me,” he lied about the latter. “He’s here right now.”

Max laughed a little and looked up at Santana. “I’m sorry… I should’ve asked before approaching you. I told you I’m out of practice.”

“No, it’s fine.” Kurt took a sip from his water and looked at Felix who was engrossed in the performance. “You see him over there? Green eyes, really cute dimples and the low cut hair.”

Max nodded.

“Buy him a Heineken and a tequila shot. Be yourself. Don’t use any corny pick-up lines,” Kurt smiled as the guy laughed, “You’ll be fine.”

“I’m guessing you know him pretty well.”

Kurt nodded. “He’s a great guy.”

Staring at the ceiling in the dark
Same old empty feeling in your heart
'Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast

Well you see her when you fall asleep
But never to touch and never to keep
'Cause you loved her too much
And you dived too deep

Max got up and walked over to the bar and Kurt smiled softly to himself as he watched the two eventually hit it off. He saw Artie and Rachel turn to look at him and shrugged, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket. Kurt guessed they weren’t used to him not charming guys like Max, and even more probably not used to him passing them over to his exes, but Kurt felt that he was taken. Maybe it wasn’t exactly true, but that’s how it felt.

Part of him wondered if Blaine had moved on. He wondered if Blaine almost called him some nights like he did as he lie in bed, wearing the t-shirt he stole from him and thinking about how good it felt to be next to him. He wondered how many times Blaine had almost texted him that he missed him and if it was anywhere near the number of times he had. The other part wondered how fast it took Blaine to forget about him.

Well you only need the light when it's burning low
Only miss the sun when it starts to snow
Only know you love her when you let her go

Only know you've been high when you're feeling low
Only hate the road when you're missin' home
Only know you love her when you let her go

….

“Blaine…. Blaine?”

Blaine stared at the photo of him and Kurt as James nudged him in the thigh.

“Do you want dessert? You’ve been quiet this whole time…”

“It’s been weeks. I feel like everything I told him was bullshit,” Blaine rubbed his hand down his face. “I don’t know what to think about what he told me…”

James smirked as he wiped his mouth with a napkin. “So what I take from this date is that you’ve been ignoring me the whole time because you’re thinking about your twink back in NYC? The same twink who I told you practically made out with some guy right there in the terminal when he got off the plane?”

“I don’t think I believe you.”

“Well it’s too late that for now. You said it’s been weeks and I’m sure he knows that at this point you don’t give a damn.”

Blaine looked up at him.

“Do you want dessert? Or should we just go back to my place and I can be your dessert…”

“I’m not going anywhere else with you, James. And this isn’t a date.”

James licked his lips and looked around the restaurant. “Have fun telling your father that.”

 Blaine looked down at his tatted arm. He smiled at the handwriting before taking a deep breath. “I can walk back to the frat house from here. Thank you for dinner.”

“He’s probably letting that guy fuck him right now. Or he’s fucking someone else,” James pulled out his wallet and watched Blaine freeze after he had stood up. “You were smart to believe me at first. Don’t be a dumb ass and change your mind now. You’ll only make a fool of yourself because you know deep down inside that he isn’t worth it.”

Blaine pushed the chair in and started to walk off.

“You think just because he was your obedient little cock slut for a week that he’s going to be forever? That’s stupid to think, Blaine. He’s everyone’s obedient little cock slut—“

“You know what, Jamie,” Blaine turned around with a smile on his face as the patrons in the restaurant gasped at the foul language they heard. “Why don’t you run and tell our parents that I said ‘fuck you’ and your holier than thou attitude? Tell them that you were nothing more than a fun fuck for me. You can also tell them that Kurt was a hell of a lot better in bed and that my toes still curl when I think about how deep he’d get inside me. Tell them that you and I won’t ever be anything more than two guys who used to get drunk and mess around and that I have every intention of making things right with the guy I actually love.” James’ eyes went dark as he looked up at Blaine who continued to speak. “In simpler terms, tell them that I only want to be with Kurt Hummel, and that you, James, are a useless piece of shit.”

“I’m going to have to ask you both to leave,” one of the servers said with a shaky voice. Blaine smiled at James before turning to leave. He stormed out of the restaurant and felt a rush of adrenaline as he started to run back towards the frat house.

….

“Rehearsal was great everyone. Only one more left, and then I’ll see you at the show on Sunday!” Professor Molin patted Kurt on the back before waving goodbye to the other NYADA students. Kurt smiled and grabbed his things, hurrying out of the room. He could feel Felix’s eyes on him as he left and Rachel smiled as she ran to catch up.

“Way to go in there! I got my dads to come to NYC for my showcase Friday and they’re staying for your opening night, and afterwards we’re taking all of you— your parents included, out to eat. Ask them where they’d like to go so we can get reservations!”

Kurt wrapped his arm around her shoulders and smiled. “I’ll make a call. So at what point do I start to feel nervous? Because right now I’m on top of the world…” he grinned and looked around campus at everyone smiling and saying hello to him.

Rachel grabbed his hand and smirked. “Give it five minutes. Once the nerves hit, they hit. But you’ll be fine.”

Kurt smiled. “Thanks.”

“Can we stop at that vegan restaurant across the street before class or—“

“We’re not going to be late for drama again. Monsieur Laurel will kill us.”

Rachel groaned. “Fine.”

….

Dear Kurt,

I’ve been writing this email to you time and time again for a couple weeks now. You probably hate me by this point. I kind of hate me too. I am just afraid if I call now after all this time that you won’t answer and I don’t know if I blame you. I’m just afraid that my fears will be confirmed, so I’ll settle for a letter.

Right now I’m sitting in my psychology class and I’m in the back. There’s only a girl a few rows over. The other few people who showed up are in the front. Most people skipped today. A Great Big World is performing tonight at the school and everyone is going crazy to get in. I think there’s a meet and greet or something. Finn got tickets and he’s taking some chick since I don’t want to go. I mean there’s this one song they have that I like but it makes me think of you… and us really, and I don’t want to go anyway.

Now I’m rambling. I’m sorry.

I just wanted to check in, I guess. I have a lot I want to tell you about what’s been going on with me but I’d rather say it in person, or like maybe over a video chat. If you wanted to. I also want you to know that I haven’t been with anyone and I kept my word. You’re all that matters.

I regret a lot of things about the past few weeks but I do intend to make them all right again. I swear I do.

How have you been? How’s school and life? I really do miss you and I stare at this tattoo all the time. It’s helping me to send this email so that’s a good thing. But how’s the show coming along? I think Rachel spoke to Finn and said that your opening night is this weekend. I know you’ll do great. In case you don’t reply to this email and we don’t talk again for a while, break a leg. You’ll shine bright.

All of our tickets are booked for Tommy’s birthday weekend in NYC in a couple weeks. He’s psyched and I’m excited to be going. I won’t lie; part of me wants to run into you. Ok… I want to see you. I don’t know if you feel the same but…if you do, I’m game. We don’t have to do anything; I just want to see you. Maybe we can start over.

If you want, you can call or text. Or I’ll take an email reply. If you happen to get on Facebook I’ll be there too. Whatever works best? Sorry if I sound super desperate, it’s just that I miss you like crazy.

Well, until next time. Have a great weekend, Kurt.

Sincerely,

Blaine Anderson

….

“What’re you reading?”

Kurt looked up at the sound of Rachel’s voice. He then heard his drama professor talking with one of the seniors and wiped at his eyes, looking back down at his laptop.

“Kurt? Are you ok?” Rachel slid over and looked down at the screen. “Who’s it fr—wait, is that from Blaine? What does it say?!”

“Rachel, quiet down,” Kurt tried to rein his emotions in as his eyes scanned the email to make sure it was real. “I… I can’t believe I’m hearing from him—”

“I still don’t understand why you couldn’t just call him first…”

Kurt smiled at the words on the screen. “He still thinks about me.”

“Kind of hard not to when you have matching tattoos,” Rachel mumbled. “Call him!”

“We’re in class,” Kurt reminded her. He looked up at their professor who started to explain something or another and seriously thought about asking to go to the bathroom.

“Well then reply with an email! Do something!”

“I say you let him simmer,” the girl in front of them said. “If he’s not been in contact for weeks then you can let him wait, too.”

“Aren’t you single?” a guy next to her said. He turned around. “Kurt, don’t take advice from Carla. She hasn’t had a boyfriend since freshman year.”

“And Allan is just upset that I wouldn’t let him take me out. Don’t take advice from bitter guys, either.”

“Take advice from me, your best friend,” Rachel said as she cut in. “You know you don’t want to take the risk of him thinking you’re uninterested so just get back to him. Don’t play mind games. I’m guessing you both are going to be interested in taking the mature route from this point on…”

“Silence Ms. Berry and Mr. Hummel!”

Kurt looked up and smiled apologetically. “Sorry Monsieur Laurel.”

….

Finn got the rebound and passed the ball to Blaine. They ran down the court, both talking shit as Thomas stuck defense.

“Someone’s phone is ringing,” one of the freshmen called out. “The name says ‘Kurt’.”

Blaine looked up at Finn who looked back at him. The taller man shook his head no.

“My phone is in my room charging, bro.”

Wes smiled. “Hurry the fuck up and answer it, man!”

Blaine dropped the ball and ran over to his phone. The freshman handed it to him and then went to be Blaine’s substitute in the game. Most of the guys pretended to pay attention to the basketball game at hand but were really listening to the conversation. They’d seen Blaine mope around the house lately and it just wasn’t like him.

“Hello?”

“H-Hey,” Kurt let his head rest against the wall of the coffee shop he was in. “Blaine… I—“

“Thank you so much.”

Kurt looked around the café and smiled. “Thank me? For what?”

Blaine sat down on the bench and looked down at his shoes. “I sent that email yesterday and I don’t know… I guess part of me didn’t expect a reply. But I’m happy you called. I’m thrilled you called, actually. Jesus, I freaking miss you like nothing I’ve ever felt Kurt.”

“I miss you too.”

Blaine smiled.

“I regret not reaching out to you honestly. I know you were angry about the Felix thing but I should’ve made more of an effort to reach out to you and explain my side of the story. I thought about it after reading your email and if we had actually agreed to be boyfriends or… something, and I didn’t make any effort to communicate with you when anything that happened, whether or not I was in the wrong, it wouldn’t make for a good relationship. You deserved that much.”

Blaine closed his eyes. “You deserved my trust.”

“I have to earn it first, baby,” the pet name slipped from Kurt’s lips and he frowned. “I… I hope I’m still allowed to call you that.”

Blaine nodded to himself, ignoring the guys making noise around him. “Always.”

Kurt smiled and took a seat in the café. His nerves had stopped driving him mad at this point and Blaine’s voice was lulling him into a feeling of security, even from miles away. “I wanted to say sorry and to let you know that Felix kissed me. If James wasn’t there, I still would’ve told you everything that happened. I wish that I could’ve been the one to let you know but… that doesn’t matter. What does matter is that I handled everything. Felix knows that I’m seeing… well that there’s another guy. He doesn’t talk to me anymore. I don’t know if it’s because I asked him not to or because I really embarrassed him by yelling at him that night in front of everyone.”

Blaine took a deep breath. “I can’t believe I went so long without talking to you.”

Kurt smiled and shook his head. “I was just thinking the same thing.”

The running back stood up and started to walk towards the frat house. He wanted to be alone to talk to Kurt. “I kind of screamed at James too. We were at this restaurant and I may’ve shouted something about how perfect it feels when you fuck me. I am paraphrasing.”

Kurt laughed and the sound went straight to Blaine’s heart. “You would do something like that.”

“I don’t think he’s told my parents yet. They would’ve called me by now.”

The line was silent for a while and Blaine went straight up to his room after arriving back at the house. “You know,” Kurt began, “I think we should set aside a time to talk to each other. Every night before bed.”

Blaine smiled to himself as he fell back on the mattress. “Yeah. I agree.”

“And when you come up to New York for Tommy’s birthday, you have to bring me another t-shirt. The one I stole doesn’t smell like you anymore.”

Blaine nodded; the smile seemingly permanent on his face. “I will. I promise. … So that means you want to see me when we come to New York?”

Kurt looked down at the table and smiled. “Duh, stupid. More than anything.”

Blaine licked his lips. “I’m sorry about everything. We missed a lot of time and I feel like I have so much to catch up on. I’ve been living through everything Finn tells me and I can tell I’m annoying him.”

“I guess it’s payback for all the times he’s asked me about Rachel…”

Blaine smiled. “Maybe. But you’re doing well, right?”

“I’m doing decent, and so much better now that we’re talking. I hope it stays this way.” Kurt said sincerely.

“You’re one of my closest friends,” Blaine told him. “You and your brother.”

Kurt smiled. “And you’re one of mine.”

Blaine licked his lips and his eyes fell closed. “So, the big show is this weekend, huh?”

Kurt smiled at the barista who placed his usual coffee order on his table. “Yeah. I am going to be late to our last rehearsal if I don’t hang up soon so I should probably get going. But I just wanted you to know that I miss you like crazy and I’ll text you later on. We can plan something to do when you guys visit in a couple weeks and then… take it from there.”

“Yeah, definitely.” Blaine felt his heart speeding up and took a deep breath. “Have fun at rehearsal and all. Don’t forget to text me.”

“I won’t. Promise.” Kurt smiled as his finger played at the rim of his coffee cup. “Goodbye Blaine.”

Blaine held the phone close to his face. “Bye beautiful.”

When the phone was disconnected, he smiled to himself for about ten minutes straight. If there was one thing Blaine Anderson knew, it was that he didn’t want to live another day without having Kurt Hummel in his life.

Finn came in the room an hour later and smiled when he saw Blaine laying there on the bed with the hugest grin on his face.

“I hope I didn’t just walk in on some post-phone sex because that’d be weird. That’s my little bro, B.”

Blaine smiled and shook his head. “Can you hand me my laptop please?”

Finn shook his head and walked to get it. “Sure, lazy ass.”

….

It seemed to Burt Hummel that every time he saw his son, he found a new reason to be proud. Tonight was just another notch on the belt. He didn’t think he could be prouder but then, Kurt would find a way to make him smile wider than the last time.

Once the nerves wore off early in Act I, Kurt shined like the star he was. He delivered his lines perfectly and hit every note—he commanded the stage and did his job of making the role of Robert believable. Most everyone here was familiar with the musical Company but it was like they were seeing something brand new— something revigorated.

Carole sat next to Rachel’s father Hiram and they both wiped tears from their eyes at one point. Rachel would always clap too loudly and get looks from other audience members, but the girl didn’t care. Her friend deserved it.

Burt knew that one day he’d see his boy on a Broadway stage wowing everyone just like he was doing here tonight, and he couldn’t wait to be front and center.

Kurt took a deep breath and watched the audience applaud after he performed Being Alive. He tried not to focus too hard on the faces because he knew he’d remember where he was and what he was doing and the nerves would kick in once again. Instead, he smiled and went back stage to get ready for the next scene. Soon, it would sink in that he was starring in a musical at NYADA with tons of scouts here. For now, he needed to pretend this was another rehearsal and give it his all.

And that’s just what Kurt did.

….

“To Kurt Hummel!” Rachel shouted out. The group all touched champagne glasses as Kurt smiled brightly. “You did absolutely amazing out there tonight, Kurt! And it was only the first show. Can you imagine as time goes on?”

Kurt took a drink from the glass as Leroy spoke now. “He can only get better and better.”

“I personally want to say that we’re extremely proud of you, and that you were absolutely incredible. I wish I could make every show but I’m certain you’ll be starring in others after this, huh?” Burt put his glass down as Kurt smiled at him.

“One can only hope. Thank you so much for being here, all of you,” he smiled at Carole and took her hand. “It means the world. I’ve never been so nervous in my life.”

Rachel laughed. “It gets easier, though. Tonight was the worst of it.”

“Who’re the flowers from?” Carole questioned as the group went back to eating. Kurt looked at one of the bouquets… this one of roses… and smiled.

“I assumed you guys had gotten it for me? I didn’t see a card…”

Leroy pulled a tag out from the opposite side and showed Kurt. “Hm. They’re from a ‘Blaine’ actually. We got you flowers but they weren’t as… large as this batch.”

“Blaine?” Burt perked up and looked at his son’s face. “He sent flowers? That’s very sweet of him.”

Kurt snatched the card away and read it. “It’s in his handwriting…”

Rachel smiled excitedly.

Kurt,

I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to your show. I’m devastated, actually, but all of the planes didn’t arrive until 8 and that would only give me enough time to get to the Italian restaurant Rachel told me you guys would go to. Ai Fiori, was it? Thank god they agreed to let me perform there last minute.

See you then. Xo

Blaine

Kurt looked across the table to Rachel who was grinning at him and then around the restaurant. He saw the violinist on stage smile to him before motioning for Blaine to come out.

Burt looked at his wife and then to his son, and then smiled when he saw the young man in shirt and tie come onto the stage. He picked his guitar up and smiled when his eyes found Kurt; heart beating hard against his chest. “Good evening, everyone. My name is Blaine Anderson.”

A few people said hello, others clapped. Most looked up as they continued to eat, unfazed. But Kurt, Kurt smiled and held onto the card as he focused on the stage—focused on Blaine and hoped with everything that he wasn’t dreaming.

“I flew in from Florida tonight and… I was hoping that I’d get the chance to do something that I was too afraid to do a few weeks back. But first, I wanted to sing something for you all. It’s specifically for the beautiful Kurt Hummel, my superstar… the man I’m crazy about.” He started to strum his guitar and hoped that Burt Hummel who was glaring at him wouldn’t kick his ass after this.

Kurt took a deep breath as he felt tears welling up. He couldn’t believe Rachel did this, or that Blaine showed up here. He didn’t know anything could top him not falling flat on his face during his performance but this… this definitely blew that out the water.

You say love is what you put into it
You say that I'm losing my will
Don't you know that you're all that I think about?
You make up a half of the whole

Blaine smiled as he sang and he saw Kurt looking down at the half a heart on his forearm. He continued to play along with the band and sang into the microphone.

You say that it's hard to commit to it
You say that it's hard standing still
Don't you know that I spend all my nights
Counting backwards the days 'til I'm home?

If only New York wasn't so far away
I promise the city won't get in our way
When you're scared and alone,
Just know that I'm already home

Kurt felt his father looking at him and turned to face him. Burt gave him the ‘I told you so’ face before turning back to the stage and watching Blaine’s performance.

The performance was everything Kurt could ever imagine. He’d always loved romance and being serenaded by someone like this… by Blaine specifically… it was more special than he could put into words. Just seeing Blaine look at him and smile as he sang, and know that he meant every word…

I say that we're right in the heart of it
A love only we understand
I will bend every light in this city
And make sure they're shining on you

If only New York wasn't so far away
I promise the city won't get in our way
When you're scared and alone,
Just know that I'm already home

When life takes its own course
Sometimes we just don't get to choose
I'd rather be there next to you
Promise you'll wait for me, wait for me
Wait 'til I'm home

All I have is this feeling inside of me
The only thing I've ever known

If only New York wasn't so far away
I promise the city won't get in our way
When you're scared and alone,
Just know that I'm already home

Hiram took Leroy’s hand as they listened to the performance. They looked to Carole who was smiling widely as she leant her head against her husband’s.

Kurt found himself walking towards the stage of the restaurant as people watched; strangers smiling at Blaine’s reaction. The curly haired man watched Kurt approach and swallowed hard before finishing up the song.

If only New York wasn't so far away
I promise the city won't get in our way
When you're scared and alone,
Just know that I'm already home

If only New York wasn't so far away
I will be there every step of the way
When you're scared and alone,
Just know that I'm already home
Just know that I'm already home

Kurt stepped on the stage and stared Blaine in the eyes, smiling at the coy look Blaine gave him. “You’re crazy to do this.”

“I’m crazy about you.” Blaine said surely.

Kurt smiled at him. “Can I kiss you, Blaine Anderson?”

Blaine stood up, not paying much attention to the applause. He turned the guitar behind him and pulled Kurt close, nodding his head yes. “F-First, you need to answer my question.”

Kurt licked his lips and smiled. “Hurry up and ask so that I can hurry up and kiss you.”

Blaine took both of the man’s hand and took a deep breath; their eyes locked and hearts beating to the same rhythm. The audience watched anxiously and Burt smiled as the scene played out in front of him. He could hear Rachel on the other side of him chanting for a kiss.

“Kurt Hummel,” Blaine smiled because Kurt was already nodding, “will you please, please be my boyfriend?”

Applause roared throughout the Italian restaurant as Kurt kissed Blaine hard on the lips. The Floridian stumbled back trying not to fall as he laughed into the kiss; his hands finding Kurt’s face as he cupped his cheeks and breathed into it. They only pulled away a few seconds later and Blaine hesitated to letting Kurt go.

“Does that answer your question, Blaine Anderson?”

Blaine smiled, nodding his head yes. “I’m your boyfriend.”

“You’re my boyfriend,” Kurt said with a happy laugh. “No backsies.”

Blaine kissed him again and they took it slower this time. When he pulled away feeling happier than he ever had, Kurt brought him down from his high.

“My dad is going to want to interrogate you so I’ll see if we can get you a seat at the table.”