Blaine: You up?

Kurt: I wasn't. Now I am.

Blaine: Oh, God, I'm sorry!

Kurt: It's fine, my alarm goes off in ten minutes anyway. 2 hour moisturising routine.

Blaine: It's really not necessary, Kurt, you look beautiful as you are.

Kurt: Thank you, but it really is necessary. You never know what you could be subjecting yourself to until later on.

Blaine: Fine, fine, it is necessary.

Kurt: Good. Blaine?

Blaine: Yeah?

Kurt: Please stop sending me weird animal names.

Blaine: Don't you want to know what they mean?

Kurt: No, but yes at the same time. Oh just tell me.

Blaine: Emmet is an ant.

Kurt: WHAT?

Blaine: Want me to continue?

Kurt: You got me annoyed… over an ant?

Blaine: It's a special type of ant.

Kurt: It's an ant, Blaine.

Blaine: Ants are important!

Kurt: Can we stop talking about ants now?

Blaine: Fine by me. You're the one who started talking about ants, if you remember.

Kurt: Ant conversation really not necessary.

Blaine: If you're sure.

Kurt: I'm sure.

Blaine: OK then.

Kurt: Good. Now, why'd you text me?

Blaine: Cos I'm bored.

Kurt: You do realise I have this need to respond to texts, and so by being bored you are bankrupting me.

Blaine: You could just get an unlimited plan.

Kurt: Yes, but they're expensive!

Blaine: You transferred to Dalton, Kurt. The bills here aren't exactly cheap.

Kurt: That was a sacrifice, though! That was because I was being bullied! To pay that much just for me to talk to my boyfriend seems a little excessive.

Blaine: You do have a point.

Kurt: Thank you. Now go and do something useful with your life.

Blaine: I am.

Kurt: Talking to me isn't useful, Blaine.

Blaine: Au contraire, I rather think it is.

Kurt: It's not. Is it helping you get qualifications for a job? No. Now I really think you should go do some homework or something.

Blaine: Spoilsport.

Kurt: Always. ;)

Blaine: Fine, I'll go do some… work.

Kurt: Good. Talk to you soon.

Blaine: Hey Kurt, it's Blaine here.

Kurt: Yes, I know… aren't you meant to be studying?

Blaine: Nope, free period.

Kurt: Didn't you just have a free period…?

Blaine: Double… free period…

Kurt: You feeling alright?

Blaine: Oh, yes! Absolutely. I just wanted to tell you… I LUUUUUUUUUURVE you, Kurtie.

Kurt: Blaine. I really think you should go have a lie down or something…

Blaine: Oh, my God, Kurt, I'm so sorry. That was Wes and David, who somehow managed to steal my phone.

Kurt: Do you actually have a free period?

Blaine: Yeah, actually a Warblers off-timetable rehearsal.

Kurt: Shouldn't you be… practising?

Blaine: Nope.

Kurt: Why not?

Blaine: If Wes and David find the time during practice- when they're the panel and are meant to be overseeing everything- then I can find time to text my gorgeous boyfriend.

Kurt: But if they see you texting…

Blaine: Yes, I know, they'll steal the phone again. Just be on your guard. If it's immature, it's them.

Kurt: OK.

Blaine: Had… a lotta… alcopops today… and think I'll… drive up…

Kurt: WES GIVE BLAINE HIS PHONE BACK

Blaine: Aww you're no fun when he tells you.

Kurt: It's in the job description, Wes. Boyfriend.

Blaine: You're very preeetttty… purty…. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINEY.

Kurt: Wes, I didn't say give David Blaine's phone. I said- do I really have to spell it out for you?

Blaine: Yep! :D

Kurt: Could you get any more immature? I told you to give BLAINE BLAINE'S phone back. NOW. Before you invoke the wrath of the boyfriend.

Blaine: Hey. Me again. As in, Blaine Mark Anderson, not Wesley or David.

Kurt: Thank you.

Blaine: They didn't…

Kurt: Yeah, they did.

Blaine: Did you mean it, about the wrath?

Kurt: I might've.

Blaine: Awww, c'mon Kurt.

Kurt: I don't know if they're gonna steal your phone again! I'm not saying anything that gives them the advantage.

Blaine: They won't. Of course they won't. Cos I trust them. Wes and David are the two friendliest people you will ever meet, and they deserve all my love and should not be victimised by your cruel, cruel words, Kurt Hummel. Shame on you, Kurt Hummel, shame on you.

Kurt: WESLEY DAVID IF YOU DO NOT GIVE BLAINE HIS PHONE RIGHT NOW I SHALL DO SOMETHING VERY BITCHY WHICH I WILL PROBABLY REGRET.

Blaine: That worked. Thanks. OK, we really are practising now, so I'll talk to you soon. xx