It was Rachel's final day out in the country. Later than evening she would be taking a cab back into the city and prepare for her night on Broadway that following Monday night. Blaine wondered what life in the Great White Way was like. He wondered if it was as glamorous as the media made it out to be. He couldn't imagine it was an ugly place because Rachel was on Broadway and she was one of the loveliest people he had the pleasure of meeting. She talked a little too much and could come off as a bit self-absorbed at times but she had a good heart.
Rachel also believed in Kurt and Blaine when they themselves didn't have the courage to do so.
That afternoon Rachel and Kurt invited Blaine over for lunch. Rachel managed to steal Kurt's phone and text Blaine that he should mentally prepare himself for Kurt's cooking because
Oh my god, it's amazing, you might black out for a second at the sheer deliciousness!
When Blaine arrived that afternoon the sun was high in the sky, warm and wonderful. It had taken a while, but the temperature was finally dropping and giving signs of the winter ahead. The warm afternoon was something to bask in while it lasted.
Rachel yanked the door open with a huge smile. "You're here!" she greeted as Blaine stepped through the door and shrugged his jacket off with a smile of his own.
"I'm here," he responded, laughing.
"You should have brought your sisters," Rachel pouted, "They were all so cute and sweet."
Blaine shook his head as he walked through the little living room. "It's all an act. They've got you wrapped around their little fingers."
"Well, I'm more than happy to be wrapped around their adorable little fingers," Rachel admitted.
Blaine smiled at her as they walked into the kitchen where Kurt was finishing up lunch preparations. He greeted Blaine with a smile that made his heart tumble for a split second. "What's for lunch?" he asked, stepping up beside Kurt.
Blaine was fairly sure Kurt didn't know about the conversation he and Rachel shared Saturday night. Things weren't as tense as that night and they seemed to fall back into their usual comfortable friendship. Blaine could tell there was still something there. Something unspoken, hanging in the air. Feelings that neither of them dared to mention.
"Cucumber sandwiches, chicken salad and fresh lemonade," Kurt responded as he picked up the salad bowl.
"We should eat outside," Blaine suggested taking the plate of sandwiches.
Rachel gasped, "Yes! That's a great idea, the weather's so nice today!" She grabbed three cups and the pitcher of lemonade and began heading towards the back door, Kurt and Blaine following behind. They set everything down on a small wooden table near the back door.
Their conversation over lunch consisted mostly of Kurt's cooking. He talked about how he used to bake with his mom all the time as a little boy. It was the first time he had mentioned his mom since he told Blaine he had lost her at a young age. It was something Blaine had forgotten up until now. And it was a reminder as to why Blaine liked Kurt so much. He was the first person outside of his family Blaine had an almost immediate connection to. He felt comfortable around Kurt. Really, he felt like Blaine's first true friend.
"Kurt used to cook for us all the time when we were roommates in college," Rachel said, "He taught me most of the recipes I know. I used to be a horrible cook."
"It was almost as bad as your clothes in high school," Kurt said.
Rachel's jaw dropped as she threw an ice cube that Kurt barely dodged with a laugh. "Okay, fine!" Kurt said holding up both hands, "Your cooking was just as bad."
"Shut up!" Rachel giggled.
Blaine watched them smiling helplessly.
--
The hours flew by and before any of them knew it, Rachel was setting her suitcase by the front door as a cab pulled up to the house. Blaine stood back, turning his eyes away for a few moments when Rachel and Kurt embraced. He felt like he might have been intruding into an intimate moment between two good friends. Rachel called Blaine's name and opened her arms wide. Wiggling her fingers as she asked, "You didn't think I'd leave without giving you a hug, did you?"
Blaine laughed before stepping up to her and pulling his arms around Rachel.
"Don't forget about what we talked about," she said quietly.
Blaine nodded, lowering his head into her shoulder just briefly. She really was a good person. "Yeah," he promised before they parted and Kurt opened the door.
They walked Rachel to the car, Kurt carrying her bag and placing it into the backseat of the cab. Rachel turned to him and hugged him one last time. "I'm gonna miss you," Blaine heard Rachel say to Kurt, voice catching at the end.
"Me too," Kurt said, his own voice shaking a little. He muttered something Blaine couldn't quite make out and with a small wave in Blaine's direction Rachel was getting into the cab and Kurt was shutting the door for her.
And then she was gone.
"How is it that I feel like I've known her my entire life?" Blaine asked as they walked back into the house.
"That's Rachel for you," Kurt said over his shoulder with a smile.
Once they were inside the cottage, things suddenly felt different. They were alone for the first time in a long time. It wasn't quite an uncomfortable feeling. Just different.
"Is Rachel the only person who knows about, um, us?" Blaine found himself asking when he settled into the couch.
Kurt looked over at him from where he stood in the kitchen. He paused halfway to putting empty glasses away. "Yeah," he said after a few moments. "She's the only person who knows about my feelings. Besides you, of course." He finished putting the cups away and turned, leaning against the counter and looking across the room at Blaine. "There is no 'us', Blaine. We...We talked about that."
"I know," Blaine said almost immediately, feeling like a child. What was he talking about? He was a child. He looked down at the couch cushions then at his hands. Blaine closed his eyes, breathing in slowly. He opened his eyes to look at Kurt. "Wanna watch a movie?" he asked moving to another subject.
Kurt stared at him for a few seconds before finally nodding. "Sure," he said.
And the topic was never grazed again.
--
Weeks passed and things went back to normal. Blaine didn't go to the cottage as often because of rehearsal. Of course, Kurt understood and he encouraged Blaine to work hard and told him the musical was more important. There weren't as many papers to grade and Kurt promised he could handle it himself. He had done so for several years before.
The musical's opening night was set for December 6th. It was the week before Thanksgiving when things became a little more intense during practice. There were full dance numbers and singing. It was tough, but Blaine managed. He pushed himself and exceeded the director's expectations. He couldn't keep himself from smiling gratefully every time Professor Abrams complimented Blaine.
It was exactly a week before Thanksgiving when Blaine visited Kurt's cottage for the first time in a while to help with grading.
"How was rehearsal today?" Kurt asked as they settled down on the couch, coffee table pulled up close.
"Tiring," Blaine admitted, "But fun. I'm still having trouble believing this is all real."
"Well believe it," Kurt said as he grabbed a stack of papers, "Because it's happening and opening night is slowly approaching."
"I'm so nervous," Blaine admitted, face twisting slightly.
"Don't be," Kurt said, waving his hand dismissively. "You're amazingly talented."
Blaine ducked his head with a sheepish smile.
--
"What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" Blaine asked an hour later when Kurt finished grading the final paper.
"Probably just having dinner here. I was supposed to fly down to Ohio to be with my family but I had to cancel at the last minute. I'm behind on the costumes for the show and if I leave for a week, Artie will kill me."
"Why don't you come over?" Blaine asked. "I told my dad you helped me get the part in the show and he wants to meet you."
Kurt looked at him, eyes a little wide. There was a bit of terror in there.
"He...doesn't know anything else if you're worried about that," Blaine said quietly.
Kurt nodded then shook his head, "Yeah. No, of course. I know you wouldn't say anything to your dad." He looked down at the coffee table, setting the paper in his lap down.
"If we're going to be friends, I'd just like you to meet my dad. He's a nice guy, I promise. It's not like you're my boyfr—" Blaine stopped and Kurt looked up at him. "Anyway," he said quickly, "Yes?"
Kurt nodded, "Of course. Thank you," he smiled. "It'll definitely beat a solo Thanksgiving dinner."
--
Apparently Rachel had somehow managed to get his number because when Blaine woke up the following morning there were three messages from her, back-to-back.
Good morning sunshine, it's Rachel Berry! I hope you slept well
How are things with Kurt? Every time I bring it up, he changes the subject.
Let me know and take care, ok sweetie? You guys should come visit me sometime!
Blaine stared at his phone. He wasn't sure what to respond so he decided not to say anything at all. He had spent the last weeks keeping his mind off of what he couldn't have with Kurt. Instead, he focused on what they had. He almost had himself convinced that it was good enough for him, but then Rachel had to send him those messages and remind him that, no, it definitely wasn't enough.
That afternoon Blaine visited Kurt, but it wasn't for a grading or cleaning session. It was purely personal. They needed to talk because Blaine was sick of pretending like everything was alright.
It was raining but Blaine refused to let that stop him. He showed up at Kurt's doorstep, knocking on the door. When Kurt opened the door his eyes widened with concern as he stepped out of the way letting Blaine move inside, dripping wet.
"What are you doing?" Kurt asked narrowing his eyes in confusion.
Blaine was shivering violently, arms wrapped around his body. "We need to talk," he managed to get out through chattering teeth.
"Haven't you ever heard of phones? We both have them, you could have called me instead of walking through this rain like some crazy person! You're gonna get pneumonia, go get changed!" Kurt demanded pulling Blaine towards his bedroom. He dug through his drawers as he spoke, "I really don't understand why you needed to walk through this rain to talk to me, Blaine, you could have gotten hurt."
"It's important," Blaine said from where he stood by the door, "I couldn't talk to you over the phone."
Kurt looked up and sighed, frowning slightly before he handed Blaine some dry clothes. "Here," he said softly before stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him. Blaine looked towards the closed door, staring at it for a few moments before he began peeling off his wet clothes. When he opened the door and Kurt stepped back in, he looked down at Blaine worriedly.
"What's wrong?" Kurt asked finally.
"I'm tired of pretending," Blaine breathed out.
Kurt remained silent.
"I know you hate doing it as much as I do," Blaine continued, "It's borderline torture. I know I probably seem...like this young, innocent thing to you, but I'm not stupid." His tone wasn't hostile or accusing. It was soft and he hoped it sounded sincere. "I can feel the tension between us. Ever since that conversation we had on Halloween. I can tell you don't feel comfortable around me the way you used to. That date you took me on was incredible and I had a wonderful time. You took me out and treated me to a show and even a drink. It was amazing and I can't remember ever feeling what I did that night. And I can't even begin to explain how happy I was when you told me that it was a date. But it feels like you took it back all of the sudden. It's like...It's like you gave me everything and then just snatched it all away and it hurt." He choked out the last word. "I know you're scared because of...our differences, but I know you feel it too, Kurt. I see it, I really do."
Kurt just stared, eyes searching Blaine's face. For a moment, he thought Kurt might reach out for him but instead he turned and walked towards the bed muttering, "I need to sit down for a minute."
Blaine's turned to face him, silently begging for a response. Something. Anything. "Kurt," he nearly sobbed. "Please don't tell me I'm wrong."
"You're not."
Blaine let out a small breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Kurt, I'm crazy about you."
Kurt looked up at him, throat bobbing as he swallowed. "I die a little inside every time I see you around that school, you know," Kurt admitted quietly. "Every single time because being around all those people is like this constant reminder. About how you're untouchable."
"I'm not," Blaine said, voice terrifyingly desperate. "Kurt, they can't do anything about it once I turn eighteen. My birthday is in February and after that they can't do anything. "
Kurt sighed dropping his head and sighing. Blaine rushed up to him, lowering himself to the floor, sitting on his knees. He called Kurt's name softly. He pleaded, reaching out to touch Kurt's hand. He finally looked down into Blaine's eyes, using his free hand to touch Blaine's cheek, fingers soft and soothing against his skin. Blaine leaned into Kurt's touch, hand warm and welcoming. "You're still shaking," Kurt whispered.
Blaine closed his eyes and sighed. "That feels really nice," he muttered turning his face into Kurt's hand and opening his eyes to look up at the man above him.
They remained still, simply staring. Kurt looked torn and Blaine could practically hear him silently battling against himself. Blaine closed his eyes once again with a sigh, turning his face a little more to press a kiss to Kurt's palm. He felt Kurt's body tense for a moment before it slipped into something more comfortable. Blaine turned his head a bit to look up at Kurt who kept his hand gently pressed to Blaine's cheek. He felt Kurt's thumb gently brush over Blaine's mouth.
"I really meant what I said," Blaine whispered against Kurt's thumb. "About being crazy about you."
"Somehow I'm not surprised," Kurt said through a sad smile.
Blaine nosed at Kurt's hand before resting his head on his lap. As he closed his eyes he felt Kurt's fingers push through Blaine's damp hair.
"You really are something special, Blaine Anderson."
--
Blaine almost fell asleep against Kurt. Before he was tugged into a deep sleep, Kurt coaxed him awake gently rubbing at his arm. Blaine apologized, embarrassed, before he stood and Kurt followed suit. "Go into the living room," he said, "I'll hang these up to dry in the bathroom." Blaine rubbed his face as he nodded and did as Kurt said.
Soon, Kurt was joining him on the couch, turning just slightly, and leaning against the armrest. He opened his arms slightly; "Turn around," Kurt said. Blaine did so and leaned back against Kurt. They shifted a bit as Kurt pulled both arms around Blaine, resting his chin against the top of Blaine's head. They stayed that way for a few silent minutes, listening to the storm rage on outside before Blaine finally spoke. "So what does this mean?"
"To be completely honest, I'm not entirely sure," Kurt admitted. "But I do know that I don't want to deny the way I feel anymore. And I don't want you to either. It isn't fair."
Blaine's heart felt light and fluttery. He grabbed at Kurt's arm, tugging it a little tighter around his shoulders.
"I also know that what I'm feeling real. And I know that I want to be with you and no one else."
Blaine swallowed before sitting up, Kurt's arms loosening around him. He turned to face Kurt who, without a moment's hesitation, reached his hand out to grab the back of Blaine's head and pull their mouth's together. It was a little awkward and Blaine was pretty sure Kurt nearly missed his mouth, but the moment their lips touched something seemed to click into place.
Almost like a puzzle piece.