Chapter 3

Kurt and Blaine turned their heads in horror to see Loki standing in the small corner right behind them, smiling down at Kurt.

Blaine made eye contact with Kurt and looked down. They sprang into action. Kurt dropped down and swung his foot out to knock Loki’s out from under him while Blaine took aim and swung his fist.

Loki grabbed Blaine’s wrist and swung him against the wall, simultaneously kicking Kurt halfway across the room.

The adults were already moving, Tony’s suit molding around him, Steve grabbing his shield, Natasha pulling out her gun, Clint arrowing up, Thor summoning his hammer. Only Bruce stayed stationary, not wanting to hurt anyone.

Three others appeared and Blaine surmised that they had to be Loki’s children. He picked himself off the ground and grabbed Kurt, dragging him over to where Bruce was attempting to keep the stocky boy away from Artie, who was helpless in his wheelchair. 

The blonde girl came out of nowhere and swung her staff, knocking Blaine to the ground. Kurt grabbed a bottle off the wall and brought it down hard on her head while Blaine kicked his feet up, aiming for her stomach. 

She moved oddly backwards, like she was being pulled backwards from her spine to keep her stomach out of Blaine’s range. He jumped to his feet instead and put his fists up, ready for a fight.

Meanwhile, Mike and Santana were back to back, dealing with eleven different Sebastians coming at them from all around. From somewhere in her skintight leather suit, Santana had produced two machetes and was wielding them like they were extensions of her arms. Mike was effortlessly dodging Sebastian’s blows, spiraling around like a dancer has he released arrows, dispelling the illusions.

But then a hand yanked Santana back. Mike wheeled around to see that Loki had put her in a choke hold. He froze, and that was all the hesitation Sebastian needed to grab him as well.

“Natasha! Clint! Steve! Bruce!” Loki called tauntingly. 

The fighting stopped. 

Quinn had managed to get her staff around Kurt’s neck and Jesse had a knife poised an inch from Artie’s nose.

“Brother dearest,” Loki sighed at Thor. “Would you mind getting you and your friends to the center of the room there?”

“Dad, don’t!” Sam said urgently, trying to keep one eye on Artie.

Thor glared at him, before taking a step.

“Ah ah!” Loki called. “Leave your weapons. All of them,” he said pointedly at Tony.

One by one, each Avenger stripped their weapons and armor before walking to the center of the room, keeping their eyes frantically on their children.

“Now,” Loki sighed, shifting Santana around on his arm as he plucked an iridescent stone from his pocket, placing it in his staff. “Let’s try this out, shall we?”

“No!” Santana screamed, struggling under his grip as a bright white light filled the room.

All of the Avengers fell.

“Dad!”

“Rogers!”

“Clint!”

“Dad!”

“Mom!”

“Thor!”

“Dad!”

Blaine, Cooper, Jane, and Sam each tried to run forward, but Loki raised his staff at each in turn.

“Now,” Loki smiled pleasantly. “We just have to decide what to do with you.”

“I have an idea.”

Everyone turned to Sam in surprise.

Loki raised an eyebrow. “And what, pray tell nephew, is that?”

Sam glanced at his mother, surreptitiously stepping in front of her. “The Star Wars Christmas Special only aired once and will never ever be seen again.”

Mike and Santana glanced at each other, preparing to duck out of the arms they were under. Cooper shoved Blaine behind him, as Sam did with Jane.

Kurt had the unfortunate luck of not knowing what the hell was going on.

But fear flooded his body when Artie, the quiet boy in the wheelchair, grew bulbous and green and ten times his size, releasing an ungodly roar.

Kurt was about to snap his head back and hit the blonde girl in the nose when she released him and vanished in a odd green light.

It was chaos. Cooper was trying to shove Blaine into the elevator but he was having none of it, dodging his brother to run and drag his father’s body out of the way. Mike and Santana had used the element of surprise to slip out from the arms they were under and summersault to Natasha and Clint, throwing their bodies over their shoulders as they ran to take cover behind the bar. Sam pushed his mother out onto the balcony so she could climb down to the next level before unceremoniously kicking his father, Bruce, and Steve out of the way as Sebastian, Jesse, Loki, and Artie ravaged the room. 

Kurt was pissed. 

He’d come to this fucking meeting in the first place because he’d basically been blackmailed.

Now he had to deal with battles and global security and a possibly dead great-grandfather and he really didn’t feel like dealing with any of it right now.

So he picked up Steve’s abandoned shield on the ground.

“Hey! Horse-face!”

Sebastian turned, only to receive a face-ful of shield. He crashed back into the liquor shelf, sending shards everywhere. Kurt smirked in satisfaction as Sebastian hoisted himself back over the bar top, glaring. Then he was split in seven.

Kurt blinked in surprise as the copies walked around him, a malicious glint in their eyes.

Blaine ran over to the CD section and yanked out The Police and Roxy Music sections, sticking his arms in where they used to be. “Jarvis!”

He grinned as he felt the familiar clicks and whizzes around his arms and took them out, now fully armored and gloved. “Now that’s what I’m talking about.”

Cooper had grabbed a sword off the shelf and he went to fight Jesse, who was making knives materialize out of thin air.

Sam held out his hand.

He didn’t actually expect it to work.

But when Mjolnir slapped warmly into the palm of his hand, he grinned. “Cooper, down!” 

Cooper dropped without thinking as Sam hurled the hammer at Jesse. Jesse ducked just in time and the hammer crashed through the wall. Jesse straightened up, grinning and preparing to throw a knife at Sam when the hammer rebounded and knocked him out on its way back to Sam’s hand.

“Legs!” Kurt snapped. “I could use some help!”

Santana rolled her eyes, but threw her machete, cutting cleanly threw two of the illusions. 

Kurt caught and swung it around, parring a blow from a spear.

Blaine saw Kurt struggling with the copies and ran to him. “Kurt! Wanna give me a lift?”

Kurt didn’t know how he knew what the hell Blaine was talking about, but he reacted on instinct. He swung the machete around low, slicing through the illusions until Sebastian grabbed it with his bare hand and yanked it aside. Kurt crouched in front of Sebastian and raised his shield as Blaine jumped off the edge of the counter, onto the shield, then rebounded off it to flip behind Sebastian and punch him at five precise points on his back. 

Sebastian fell to the ground in a heap.

Loki seemed to realize--as he dodged Artie’s fist--that with one child vanished and the other two knocked out and a room full of irritated adolescents hellbent on destroying him, the odds were clearly not in his favor. He vanished in a flash of green, along with Sebastian and Jesse.

“Artie!” Sam called out.

Artie turned towards him, green eyes enraged as he started towards Sam.

“We have the script, remember?”

Artie’s eyes widened, then rolled into the back of his head. The massive monster fell to the ground, slowly shrinking back into the form of a teenage boy.

“Okay, I’m sorry, but what the hell? Star Wars?” Kurt said suddenly from by the bar.

Sam sighed. “We came up with it ages ago. If we ever needed to trigger the big guy, we’d just bring up the fact that he’ll never see the Star Wars Christmas Special and bam. We have ourselves a hulk. Then to calm him down, we’d mention that we have the transcript of the special and he knocks out. We’ve practiced it for years.” He sighed, hauling Artie up into his wheelchair and covering him with Thor’s cape that had just been lying on the ground. “Good thing it worked.”

“You didn’t know if it would work?” Kurt said, horrified.

“Well, we never actually got the chance to test it,” Mike shrugged as he and Santana hopped over the counter.

“So...what now?” Kurt said, surveying the damage.

“They’re all fine,” Cooper called out from the pile of Avengers in the corner. “It’s weird, I’ve never seen anything like this. They’re just...sleeping. Like they’re all in a coma.”

“Perfect,” Santana snapped. “So Rock Star and his psycho kids are about to wreak havoc on the world with their super powerful amulet and the earth’s defenders are all in a coma.”

“We can fight,” Sam said, gripping Mjolnir tightly. “It’s not like we don’t have allies. Asgard--”

“The portals are closed, Sam,” Jane said, reappearing from the floor below. “Loki’s controlling them now.”

“Okay,” he nodded. “But we all have allies, don’t we? Santana, could you get a hold of Sugar?”

Santana clenched her jaw. “I don’t like it.”

“But we need her,” Sam stressed. “Anyone else?”

“I know someone,” Blaine said suddenly. “Tina. Her dad works at Dalton.”

“No offense, squirt...” Blaine glared at Cooper. “But I don’t think this is a fight for your little friends.”

“Her father is Amadeus Cho.”

That woke Artie up. “Hold up, the Amadeus Cho?”

“Exactly,” Blaine snapped. “Super genius, worked with dad and Bruce all the time. Tina is just as smart as he is. We could use her.”

“Good,” Sam nodded. “Mike, could you get ahold of Puck?”

“On it,” Mike nodded. 

“I’ll get Sylvester,” Cooper said, pulling out his phone. “She’ll help. She’s always had a soft spot for me. And she might be able to find Fury.”

Sam turned to Kurt. “Um...”

“Kurt.”

“Kurt, right. Do you...know anyone that could help?”

Kurt stared at him like he’d grown a second head. “I honestly have no idea what’s going on right now.”

“We’re just gathering all our resources so that when Loki comes back for us, we can fight,” Sam said simply. “So do you have something...anything for us?”

“Well...” Kurt concentrated, deep in thought. “Actually, yes, I do.”

The group leaned in eagerly.

“When I was a kid, my best friend was my pet dragon. And he said that if I was ever in a tight spot, he’d come and help me,” Kurt smirked.

Sam’s jaw clenched. “Listen, I don’t know who the hell you think you are, but this is serious. It’s our fight now--”

“I’m sorry, but how the hell is this my fight?” Kurt snapped, taking a step forward.

“You’re great-grandfather is in a coma--”

“Yeah, the same great-grandfather who ignored me my whole life when he found out that I wasn’t the ideal great-grandson then randomly showed up yesterday to blackmail me into being here, which put mine and my family’s life in danger. Sorry if I’m not feeling particularly gratuitous to dear Grandpa Steve right now,” Kurt yelled, inches from Sam’s face.

Sam shoved him back roughly and he crashed into the wall.

“Hey!” Blaine yelled. “That’s enough, Sam!” He turned to Kurt, helping him up. “Are you okay?”

“I’m out!” Kurt snapped, brushing past the group angrily. “You all did fine without me for years--I’m sure you’ll be fine now.”

“Wait, Kurt--” Blaine chased him around to the hall and down the ruined stairs. “You don’t have to go.”

“But I do, Blaine.” Kurt stopped, rubbing his hands over his face. “This isn’t my fight. I need to go home to my family.” 

Blaine sighed. “Okay, I understand. Just...” He reached into his pocket and plucked out his holographic business card. “Promise me you’ll give me a call if you ever need help.” 

Kurt took to funny contraption and smiled. “Thanks.” He tapped the metal plating up Blaine’s arms. “Nice gloves, by the way. And thanks for having my back in their.”

“Sure,” Blaine nodded. “We made a good team, fighting Sebastian. You know...we could do it again, maybe? Just some sparring?”

Kurt grinned, holding up the card. “I’ll give you a call.”

Blaine let go of the elevator. And Kurt.