Sebastians POV

I was away for a long time. I knew this was a possibility. Whether it was Kurt or someone else, I knew he was going to find someone. Hes a catch. It may have been just me being presumptuous and reading too much into things, but I did still have a tiny bit of hope he was going to, one day, see me differently. We shared a lot of the same interests. Sex was always amazing. Stupid me.

I meet with Wes, we went to Dalton together and stayed very close friends.

"Hey there Mr"

"Hey Wes"

"So how are you? Hows the habitat for humanity treating you?"

"Its good. I feel fulfilled. Its an amazing feeling. And you? Hows the wife and kids?"

"Theyre all great. Leslie is dying to see you and of course Michael and Shaun miss their uncle Sebastian"

I formed a bond with his boys, only friend with kids and 2 boys at that. We did baseball games, basketball games. I was at all their little league games before I started traveling. 

"Well Ill be around for a while so Ill take them out soon. What are they into now?"

"Theyre boys, anything that involves dirt is fine with them" he says with his proud daddy face

"So where are you staying?"

"Oh, well, Blaine and Kurt just bought a townhouse in Brooklyn. Can you believe it?! Finally after all these years. So Im subletting Blaines til the lease is up, which works perfect with my schedule"

"Wow. I guess its no surprise. Those two were destined."

When he says that theres a tiny stab in my chest. Even tho I always thought the same thing, it becomes reality when someone else says it

"Didnt you two have a thing before you left?"

"Yea, but it was nothing, casual ya know" - I lie because I had hopes, but blaine didnt, or maybe he did? Im still on the fence about that.

"Well its pretty cool you guys can stay friends. Mature of Kurt to be okay with it."

"Well kurt isnt 100% informed about what went on with us."

"Really?! Thats a surprise. Blaine isnt the type to keep secrets"

"Right. I thought the same thing. But for whatever reason, he chose to keep this between us and I respect it."

We end the conversation with plans to take the boys to the zoo and dinner with the family. 

I just cant believe theres nothing  between us. Late night talks. Walks. Museums. Sleepovers. Adult sleepovers! I understand he thinks kurt is the one, but maybe hes just used to him. Maybe hes settling and doesnt realize it.

Were at my place, Blaines old place. Hes talking and talking about the rules and regulations. I know all of this, Im not a child. But his worry is adorable. I need to bring this up. I need closure. Not just a brush off. I deserve it. I pour myself a drink. This should take the edge off. He declines a drink but I bring one anyway, I am a gentleman after all.

"You know, I really did care for you, it wasnt just about sex with us. You just couldnt see it because you were all caught up in whatever it was you and Kurt were doing"

"Are doing" he corrects me

....

"That must be nice. So be with someone you cant be without"

"It is, its comfortable"

Ahh - I was right - you dont use the word comfortable with a soulmate.

"You know, with all due respect, I thought that we may have been headed in that direction at one point. Was I imagining that?"

"No, I guess I gave off that impression and that was my fault. Im sorry"

I can see hesitation in his face. I can hear it in his voice. As if hes saying it to make himself believe it.

"So it was all a lie? Hard to believe it was ALL a lie!" 

He looks at me with his beautiful hazel eyes.

Before I know it Im a step closer, he takes half a step back but I grab his waist.

"Sebastian"

I stop his words with a kiss!

Hes not pulling away! 

My heart sinks because I know what this is - I caught him in his own lie to himself! 

I pull away and look him in the eyes

"Im sorry. That was incredibly inappropriate"

He takes a step closer - I think hes gonna kiss me 

"Youre right it was incredibly inappropriate"

I fucked up! 

"Just have the check in the mail on time!"

He turns and walks out.

What just happened?! 

A week passes. I still feel his lips on mine. Should I call? Should I text? No! I shouldnt! If he wanted to talk he would contact me! I kissed him, he should have questions. Unless hes in denial. God I feel like a jr high school girl with a crush. 

Fuck it, Im calling. No no, ill text, he cant hang up on a text.

We should talk about what happened 

I get a quick response 

No we shouldnt.

Blaine you didnt pull away. Y?

---- a few minutes pass. Im sure hes asking himself that same question

Lets not do this. Please

Meet me at The Corner Coffee House

We used to grab coffee there all the time 

2 pm sharp

My heart races - Im ready for whatever he has to say. But I need an explanation. I couldnt have been delusional about our relationship. 

Its 1:45 and I go early to wait for him but hes already seated. Tapping away on his iphone. 

"Hey" 

"I should start by apologizing again. Maybe the whiskey got to my head. I dont know what came over me"

He just stares. I cant read him.

"Relax, I understand what happened. I know What we had. N wasnt all in your head. And thats y Im here now, to clear the air. I panicked when I saw you. I was sure it was over but you werent sure and that wasnt fair!"

"So now what?"

"Im happy with Kurt. And I didnt stop the kiss cuz it felt familiar. I missed those kisses and didnt know before. But familiar isnt always good. Im happy where I am, were gonna start a family soon. This is what Ive always wanted"

"In life or with him?"

"With him"

"Did you tell him what happened?"

"I did, I went home and explained everything to him. Our whole relationship, affair, ya know what I mean"

"And? do I have to move?"

"No, he is ticked off I kept it from him and didnt give the full story when We spoke about you moving in, but he also knows theres nothing going on"

"And the kiss? Im sure he wants to strangle me"

"Kurt doesnt hold grudges. He understands the kiss meant more to you than to me"

There goes that stabbing feeling in my chest again.

"Ok! So whats it" I get up to walk away and blaine grabs my arm

"You werent delusional, just bad timing"

"I dont think any time wouldve been a good time. I cant compete with Him"

"You may me right. Just dont be mad, I couldnt bear it knowing you were mad at me"

Why does it matter if Im mad at him? If Im hurt? He has kurt and I have my missions.

I head to a bar in Brooklyn, its the new hot spot in the city and I need to get out. 

"Sebastian" 

I hear screaming over the crowds

"Hey... Rachel!"

We were never close friends but we are decent enough to have a drink with.

"What brings you to Brooklyn?"

"This place actually"

"Alone?"

"Yea why not?!"

"Come sit with us"

"Us who?"

"Im here with a few friends, no, blaine isnt here! I heard what happened. Its none of my business. But were just talking and laughing. Come! You must! You know I wont take no for an answer"

Once she utters those words - shes serious - her mind blocks out the word no!

"Fine, lets go"

"Hey guys this is my, um, friend Sebastian. Sebastian this is Brody, Alex, Mel, Sandra, Andy and Sue."

Ill never remember those names. Except for maybe Andy, hes cute! Just what I need, a Hot piece of ass for the night. 

We have a few drinks and everyones headed back to the loft. I obviously opt out. I invite them back to my place and Andy is the only one who accepts the invitation.

"So how do you know Rachel?"

"We went to NYADA together. Shes amazing. You?"

"Thru Blaine."

"Kurts Blaine?"

"Yes!" Hes just Blaine, not Kurts Blaine. 

"Can you keep a secret?"

"More than you know"

"Me and Kurt totally made out one drunk night in the bathroom at the loft. There were a ton of people there, no one even noticed we were gone. This was before Blaine of course."

"Can you keep a secret?" I respond to his secret

"Me and Blaine totally hooked up. Over and over again. Before Kurt of course" why hide it now? Everyone else knows.

"Can you imagine what must be going thru their heads right now. When Rach tells them were here, together!  Hahaaa. I wish I could see their faces"

"Im sure they dont care"

"Im sure one of them does"

I dont know what that means and I dont care. Ive had a few drinks and Im ready to rip his clothes off

Were at my place.

"Whiskey?"

"Scotch if you have"

I walk over to the living room and hes staring out the window. 

"Here you go sexy"

"Youre not so bad yourself"

"Would you like a tour?"

"Only if it leads to your room"

I put my hand on his neck, looking into his eyes. Hes actually really cute! And smart, and funny. But right now I just want his ass. I steps close and grabs me and kisses me fiercely.

I turn and drop him on the ottoman in front of the bed. Im standing in front of him and he pulls my pants down and starts sucking. 

"Yes!" I moan

Theres silence.

"Come here" I pick him up, pull his pants and start pounding! I dont want to think! I just wanna lose myself in him. 

His moans are a huge turn on. I know the feeling of me inside of him is making him feel the things hes feeling. 

"Dont stop" he says breathlessly

"Not til your ready Baby" I say baby in the heat of the moment

"Fuuuuck" he yells

I pull out to breathe and he pulls me forward and puts me right back into him

"I said dont stop" his motions meet mine.

"Come on, come with me"

I take a few more strokes, Im so turned on by his taking charge. I feel the sensation, Im ready - then we both release together. 

I kiss him 

"That was exactly what I needed"

"Yea, me too. Wheres the bathroom? Mind if I take a quick shower before I go?"

"Who says youre leaving?"

I find myself extending the invitation. He can stay if he wants. He crawls back into bed and we start round 2.

The next morning I have a text from Rachel.

Hope you guys had fun

I respond

Thanx Rach, he was exactly what I needed"

Well be nice. Hes a good friend

Hes a big boy, in more ways than one lol, but dont worry, hes in good hands"

We find ourselves ordering in and talking for hours. We have quite a lot in common. I think I like this guy. Who knew?! 

Lets see what happens. This should be interesting!!

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