Hey, this story is also on Fanfiction if some perfer it there. Small trigger warning. And last I hope you like the story so far!

I wake up feeling like I have the worlds worst hangover. I just feel so out of it lately and that's not a good thing. If I start acting tired or hungry, Blaine will notice. I force myself out of bed with a groan. The noise causes Blaine to stir awake.

"Hey cutie" he says still in a dream like state. "Come here" I give him a confused smile. God he's so gorgeous and I'm just this disgusting thing he's forcing him self to love. "Come here" he repeats, and I hesitantly walk toward him.

"What?" I ask and he grabs my hand and pulls me down on top of him. "kiss me" he says.

"Oh no, I have awful morning breath" I protest, as I try to wiggle my way out of hes arms. If I kiss him this early I know exactly what it will lead to and I can't let Blaine see my body, it's not perfect yet.

He gives me a small pout. "Ugh fine, whatever I don't need your kisses, I can just go find someone else." he says with a flirtatious daring look. I know deep down he would never go to someone else, or at least hoped, but hearing him say that crushes any bit of the hope I have left. Shit. I can feel the tears start to well up in my eyes. I force most of them away, and the few that fall I wipe away without him noticing. I throw a quick, joking, " You do that" with a fake chuckle and walk over to our bathroom, lock the door and turn on the shower. I peal of all my clothes and just stare at what is the abomination I call a body. Why do I have to be so gross. Tear fall down my face, me doing nothing to stop them. I grab my stomach and look at it from different sides. Nothing changes I'm still fat and repulsive. Suddenly without thinking I drag my nails across the pale skin, small red lines appear, but within seconds fade. I do it again but this time adding more pressure, it does the same thing but the marks stay there for longer. I feel excitement bubble inside me for the first time in a week. I frantically look around for a sharp object, anything to get that bubbly feeling back. I spot my razor on the side of the sink. Carefully, I press it down on my stomach, not moving it or anything. When I move it away I see a dark line, the skin has barley broken but I can see little places were blood it breaking through. My heart is beating faster and faster, and right as I'm about to do it again there's a loud Bang!

"Sweetie you almost done in there?" Blaine yells, I hadn't realized how long I was in there, and i haven't even gotten in the shower yet.

"Yeah, I'll be out in a minute" I lie, and hop in to the semi warm water and quickly start to wash my hair, my heart still beating hard.

BREAK LINE

I walk into the kitchen, dressed in my Saturday clothes still towel drying my hair. I see Blaine in just he's boxers and Beauty and the Beast shirt, dancing to the music on the radio as he cooks breakfast. I come up behind him and kiss him on he's neck. "Hey".

"Why hello Mr. lets take forever in the shower" he giggles, "Your food is almost done and I didn't want it to get cold" he finished.

"Well aren't you just the best boyfriend ever" I declare.

"Guilty" he smiles while he sits down placing both our plates on the table. My heart stops, I hadn't thought about when Blaine said food he expected me to eat, like he didn't already see the large lump of fat in front of him. So far it was easy do dodge eating because we both had work, so we never really ate breakfast or lunch together, and dinner was easy I just either said I had already eaten and just made him something, or I would go to bed before he got home avoiding any questions I couldn't answer. Blaine doesn't understand that not everyone is perfect like him, not all of us have amazing abs and a tan body, it's just so unfair how perfect Blaine is and here I am working my ass of when he just sits there... Stop Kurt. Your doing this for Blaine no need to get jealous because he looks better. Okay breath calm down. During my inside monologue I hadn't noticed Blaine had started eating and was looking at me confused.

"Honey, is something wrong. Is the food not good. I can make you something else." he says sweetly with he's big hazel puppy dog eye's staring at me.

"No it's perfect, I just realized" think quick Kurt quick "I have some work I need to finish so I think I'm going to eat in my office, is that okay" I say as I start to stand up. I can tell he is disappointed, considering that we never get to eat together and more. Looking down at he's plate a gives a small nod and says.

"Yeah that's fine, I understand."

"Thanks" I retort and rush back to the hallway and into my office. Closing the door behind me, I spot the trash can across the room in the corner and dump all the nicely made food into it. I have a small feeling of guilt because Blaine worked so hard to make it, but it's over power by the small sense of achievement in avoiding yet another meal.