Jan. 20, 2013, 10:42 a.m.
He Sings Out a Song Which is Soft but it's Clear: Chapter 8 - Animal
T - Words: 3,586 - Last Updated: Jan 20, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 12/12 - Created: Jan 20, 2013 - Updated: Jan 20, 2013 441 0 0 0 0
Enjoy some epic awkwardness...Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
Kurt was more than happy to rehearse "Animal" with Blaine now that the two of them were on speaking terms. They took and afternoon and talked everything out and Kurt finally told Blaine the details about how Landrick asked him out after their near-kiss. Landrick still didn't know Kurt's real first kiss, and Blaine still didn't think that was fair to Landrick, but it was Kurt's decision, not his. They still weren't completely back to where they once were, but they were laughing again and spending time with each other felt more like home everyday.
Things with Landrick got better too. While Kurt was still not thrilled that his boyfriend made out with Rachel, Kurt was reassured that it would not happen again because Landrick swore he was 100% gay and that he promised he would never, ever drink and play spin the bottle.
Walking into Warblers practice the following week, Kurt felt ready to show his peers what he and Blaine had worked on. However, his mood shifted dramatically when it was suggested that they up the sexy factor on the number because someone read online that the Regionals judges were giving extra points for sex appeal. While practically everyone else in the room hooted and hollered at the suggestion, Kurt had an internal panic attack. A quick look around the room led him to believe that he was the only one who seemed to be mortified at the prospect of trying to act sexy.
At the end of rehearsal, the Warblers were told the next day they were to meet in the abandoned warehouse on Dalton's property. Though this sounded extremely sketchy to Kurt, he noticed none of the other boys were worried – in fact, they were giving each other High-5s. Blaine saw the confused look on Kurt's face and approached him as everyone else left.
"I saw you kinda freak out when Wes mentioned tomorrow's practice was at the warehouse. It's mostly used for storage, but it's where Dalton students hold… unsanctioned school dances," Blaine said.
Kurt looked at him with an even more confused look. "Unsanctioned?"
"Dalton guys. Crawford County Day Girls. Loud music. Lots of alcohol and hooking up." Kurt raised his eyebrows, wondering how Blaine knew all this. "I've never been. It's just what I've heard."
…
Blaine was right about the Crawford County Day Girls. It turned out the Warblers Council extended an invitation to the ladies at Dalton's sister school to come watch the rehearsal so the Warblers could get a handle on their sexy factor as they headed into Regionals.
Though Kurt and Blaine's duet was technically sound, it was painfully obvious that Kurt was trying to over compensate on his "sexy" dance moves and his performance was more comical than sensual. Blaine was going to ask Kurt in private about what happened, but before he could make his was over to his friend, he was cornered by two girls from Crawford.
"Um, hey ladies," Blaine started. "Is there something I can help you with?" Neither girl spoke, but instead looked each other in the eye before simultaneously handing Blaine slips of paper. Slowly, he reached up and took the papers only realizing they were phone numbers after they let go. He smiled guiltily. "Thank you. But, uh, I play for the other team." With his admission, the two girls rolled their eyes, turned on their heals and walked away, leaving Blaine alone like he was poisonous.
While Blaine was busy with the Crawford girls, Landrick got to Kurt first.
"Are you okay? You kept making weird faces during the whole song," Landrick commented.
Kurt stopped fixing his hair and stared up at his boyfriend. "Those weren't weird faces. Those were my sexy faces."
A laugh slipped out of Landrick's mouth, but he didn't even bother trying to stop it as he sat down next to Kurt. "It looked like you were having gas pains or something."
"Great," Kurt muttered. "How am I supposed to get up on the stage at Regionals and sell sexy to the judges when I have as much sexual appeal and knowledge as a baby penguin?" His cheeks burned bright red when he realized he just said "sexual appeal" out loud to his boyfriend. He knew he shouldn't be embarrassed about such things, but he couldn't help it. Sex was by far one of his least favorite topics and it was killing him that it seemed to be at the forefront of conversation for their Regionals performance.
Landrick slid an arm around Kurt's shoulders. "Relax, sweetheart. We'll think of something."
Kurt's eyes grew wide at his boyfriend's remark just as Blaine walked over toward the boys.
"You guys ready?" Blaine asked. "Wes asked me to lock the place up once everyone was gone."
"We're ready," Landrick told Blaine before turning to look into Kurt's eyes. "We're ready."
…
Kurt sat at his vanity, stomach in knots. His parents were out for a dinner date and his stepbrother was over at Noah's house playing video games, so he and Landrick had the house to themselves. Landrick was laying down on Kurt's bed, flipping through one of Kurt's issues of Vogue.
"You like that Top Model show, right?," Landrick asked. Not looking up from the magazine or even waiting for a response from Kurt, he kept talking. "So, why don't you try to do what they do? Like, practice in your mirror."
Shaking his head, Kurt muttered to himself, "I don't even know where to start."
"Come on, Kurt, you got this," Landrick said, finally tearing his eyes away from the copy of Vogue in his hands. "I'll help you." He crawled across the bed and took a seat next to Kurt on his vanity's bench. "All right, give me… sensual." As the said the word, Landrick's lips morphed into a pout and his eyes smoldered as they bore into the mirror. Kurt's mouth dropped in awe as the look came so easily for his boyfriend.
"Okay, um…" Kurt shifted his weight where he sat and he tried to mimic Landrick's pose. However, instead of pouty lips, his twisted into a snarl and his eyes didn't smolder, they seemed to spasm instead.
It took a lot of willpower, but Landrick managed not to laugh at the far from sensual look on Kurt's face. "Okay. How about we try another? Give me… sultry." Landrick turned toward the mirror and smized as he channeled his inner Tyra.
Once again Kurt tried to copy his boyfriend's movements, but failed spectacularly. With another snarl, Kurt gazed into the mirror as if he were going to rip it to shreds instead of make love to it. Landrick couldn't hold back his laughter any longer.
"Um, Kurt. All your facial expressions are kinda looking the same," he said with a chuckle.
Kurt slapped his hands against his thighs in frustration, "That's because the face I'm actually doing is uncomfortable. This is pointless, Landrick. I can't make sexy faces because I'm not sexy and I don't know how to be sexy."
Landrick snaked an arm around his boyfriends back and curled it around his waist. "Hey, hey, hey. You're sexy, trust me." He whispered the last two words into Kurt's ear before leaning in to kiss Kurt's jawline. Kurt squirmed at the contact and the compliment and wriggled out of his boyfriend's grasp. "Kuuuuuuuuuurt."
As he scooted over on the bench to put some room between them, Kurt shook his head. "I'm not – we're – nope." He shook his head some more, hoping that action would take the place of the words that he desperately needed to get out, but couldn't properly form on his lips.
"Kurt," Landrick said gently as he re-closed the gap on the bench between the two of them. "Kurt," he repeated as he placed a hand on Kurt's upper thigh.
Kurt bolted up off the vanity bench and shouted, "I'm not having sex with you!" His face turned beet red as he immediately clamped a hand over his mouth.
"Whoa!" Landrick replied as his hands shot up in surrender.
Tears that had quickly built up started falling as Kurt shook his head, beyond upset. "I'm not ready. I know you think we are, but I'm not. And if you want to dump me, fine, but I'm not having sex with you, Landrick."
"I would never force you to do anything you weren't ready for, Kurt. And I'm not going to dump you because of this," Landrick explained as calmly as he could given their situation. "I'm going to go, okay? Call me when you're ready. To talk."
Landrick slowly got up from the bench and walked out of Kurt's room while Kurt stood there and watched, tears still streaming down his face.
…
Blaine not-so-secretly loved when he had the house to himself. His dads were out on a date and his sister was spending the night at Mercedes's house so they could sew costumes for some performance Rachel was doing with the Celibacy Club. (He didn't even bother asking what that was about because he figured it was better if he just didn't know.) He knew he should get his homework out of the way or work some more on his compositions, but he was in the mood to watch Chariots of Fire. He missed running and loved the score, but the rest of his family vetoed this film when it's his turn to choose on movie night because he'd forced them to watch it probably fifty times. Boys running in slow motion on the beach to one of the greatest scores of all time… how could anyone be against that?
Just as Blaine was settling himself onto the couch in the living room with two huge slices of pizza and a strawberry milkshake, he heard a knock. Grumbling to himself, he ran to the front door and whipped it open without bothering to check the peephole first. He was surprised to see Kurt on his porch.
"Oh! Hey Kurt… Rachel's not here." It was only then that Blaine realized Kurt's eyes were red and it looked like he had been crying. Kurt was also still wearing his Dalton sweater and tie, but didn't have a coat on even though it was the beginning of March. Blaine didn't see Kurt's Navigator, so that meant he must have walked. The Hudmels didn't live far from the Berrys, but it was a solid fifteen-minute trek. "Are you okay?" Kurt shook his head. "Do you want to come in?" At this question Kurt gave a small nod and stepped into the Berry household after Blaine stepped to the side and ushered him inside.
Blaine led Kurt to the living room and offered him a seat on the couch. He pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and handed it to Kurt. "I'll be right back, okay?" Blaine waited for Kurt to respond before sprinting down the hallway toward his dads' room. Knowing his own comfy clothes would likely not fit Kurt, Blaine thought one of his dads might have some yoga pants or something that would be more comfortable for Kurt than his Dalton uniform. He snagged some cashmere-soft flannel pants and a Harvard hoodie from the bottom drawer of Hiram's dresser before making his way back to the living room. Kurt hadn't moved or even unfolded the blanket. He did manage to look up at Blaine when he approached the couch. "Here," Blaine said softly as he held out the clothes. "Go put these on and then we can share my pizza. Okay?"
Kurt slowly stood up and took the clothes, "Thank you." After Kurt shut the bathroom door behind him, Blaine bolted to the kitchen and grabbed another plate. He cut Kurt two slices of pizza to match his own and hoped Kurt was okay with strawberry milkshakes as he poured his friend a glass. Blaine was carrying the food to the living room just as Kurt emerged from the bathroom, his Dalton uniform in hand.
"Perfect timing!" Blaine said with a little more enthusiasm than was probably necessary. He had no idea what was wrong with Kurt, but figured being as encouraging as possible was one of the few things he could do. "Why don't you set your Dalton stuff over on the table and then we can eat. I hope you're okay with non-vegan cheese pizza and strawberry milkshakes. Wow, I only just realized how much dairy that is…" Kurt giggled, causing Blaine to crack a smile.
The boys sat down and tucked into their meal together. Before long, there were just crumbs on both plates and the boys were lounging into their corners of the couch, working on the last few sips of their milkshakes. It was then when Kurt finally spoke up, though his words were rushed, "How much do you know about sex?"
Blaine's eyebrows shot up as he started choking on the milkshake that had just slid into his mouth. He put his cup down and bent over, wiping his mouth as he coughed several times. This was definitely not a conversation starter he ever thought he would hear coming from Kurt. "Shouldn't you be talking about that with your boyfriend? Or a health teacher?"
Kurt's cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "I thought this was something friends talked about? That's what all your sister's issues of Cosmo say."
"So talk to her about this!" Blaine countered, thoroughly mortified.
Kurt shook his head, "I can't. She wouldn't… get it. And I can't talk to Landrick about it because…"
Blaine was a thousand percent sure he was not comfortable talking to Kurt about him and his boyfriend's sex life, but Kurt looked so miserable that he had to be the bigger person. "Kurt, did something… happen between you and Landrick?" Kurt nodded and Blaine blanched, thinking the worst. "Did you at least use protection?"
It was Kurt's turn to overreact. "What?! Blaine, I've never had sex with Landrick!"
Blaine was relieved, but so confused. "But you just said something happened!"
"Yeah, we got in a fight because I'm not ready to have sex with him. And I'm mad that we have to se sexy for our performance at Regionals because I don't know the first thing about sex!" Kurt was almost yelling by this point.
"Kurt." Blaine's voice was calm and low, but not pitying.
"What?" the older boy asked bitterly.
"It's okay," replied in a tone as equally soothing as before. Blaine's cheeks were pink with embarrassment, but he was calm.
"No," Kurt said with disdain as he hung his head, "it's not. It's so embarrassing."
Blaine sighed, not quite believing he was going to ask what he was about to ask, but Kurt was his best friend and he was willing to put his own insecurities aside for the greater good. "Do you want to talk about it? I'll tell you everything I know, if you think that'll help. Or you can just ask me stuff and we can talk it over. I mean, I don't know much, but having gay dads… they kinda already… gave me the talk."
Kurt looked up at Blaine with wide eyes, surprised but grateful his friend was being so open, but scared at the prospect of what kind of information this could bring to light. "You'd do that for me?" Blaine nodded, cheeks stained a deep pink by now. "Blaine Anderson Berry, I don't deserve to have a friend like you."
Blaine smiled at the compliment, and couldn't believe he and Kurt were about to have the sex talk. "Can I ask you something first?" Kurt looked worried, but nodded. "Has anyone ever talked with you about sex?"
Kurt sighed as he fidgeted on the couch. "Um, my dad tried to talk to me about it after New Years when he, uh… when he found out I fell asleep in your bed." Blaine's eyes grew wide. "I told him nothing happened. I mean, you were there. Nothing happened. But he sat me down at the kitchen table and started talking about feelings. He said that once guys start having sex, they don't want to stop and that since I'm gay, sex will be easier to come by because it's two guys." Kurt played nervously with his fingers as he spoke. "God, I can't believe we're talking about this." Blaine silently waited for Kurt to continue, not wanting to interrupt for fear he wouldn't finish his thought. "He told me that when I'm ready, I should use sex as a way to connect to another person and that I shouldn't just throw myself around because I matter. And that was pretty much the end of that conversation."
Blaine nodded as Kurt finished talking. "Your dad is right, you know. You do matter. And I really respect you for knowing that you weren't ready yet. My dads gave me a similar speech awhile ago. They told me to wait until I was with someone I loved, so I promised them I would."
"So… you're a virgin too?," Kurt asked softly.
Blaine chuckled that Kurt even had to ask. "Yep…. To be honest, I've never even kissed anybody." Kurt's cheeks blushed as both boys recalled their near-kiss at Dalton. "So, see Kurt, you're leaps and bounds ahead of me," Blaine joked before he re-assumed a thoughtful guise. "Sex isn't a race, though. That's what my dads told me. Everyone should go at their own pace because everyone is different."
Kurt nodded at this, because it made sense to him. He knew he didn't love Landrick, so that was one of the reasons why he wanted to wait. But, confusion was another reason that made him say no. "I'm just scared sex is going to hurt. And that I'm going to be really bad at it. And the nakedness of it all."
"Well, it shouldn't hurt. There are things you and your partner can do and use to make it as… pleasurable as possible. And I'm pretty sure you won't be bad at it." Kurt blushed hard Blaine's matter-of-fact attitude, causing Blaine to grin. "What I mean is, even if it's not great the first time around, it can only get better, right? You'll figure out what you like and what you don't like. I think you're just over thinking the mechanics of it all. Sex is more than just sticking Tab A into Slot B and… thrusting around."
Kurt legitimately laughed. "Oh my god, I can't believe we're still talking about this!"
Blaine was laughing now too. "What? You're the one who brought it up! I was trying to be a good friend here. This is awkward for me too, you know!"
"I know," Kurt admitted. "Thank you." Blaine shook him off. "No seriously, Blaine. Thank you. You invited me in, gave me clothes and food and then made me feel better about something that terrifies me. I probably ruined the perfectly nice evening you had planned. So, thank you. You truly are the best friend I've ever had and I owe you big time."
"You don't owe me anything, Kurt," Blaine said. "This wasn't really the easiest thing for me to talk about either, but… I don't know. I'm sure you would have done the same for me if our roles were reversed. And, trust me, you didn't ruin my night. I was just going to watch a movie. If you want, we could watch it together? It's already in the DVD player."
"What movie?"
"Chariots of Fire."
Kurt's eyes lit up. "Oooooh! Cute British boys running in slow motion on the beach to that gorgeous piano music?!"
Blaine smiled. "That's the one." He dug the remote out of the couch cushion and pressed play. Kurt moved their plates out of the way and grabbed the blanket Blaine had tried to give him earlier. He spread it out over both of their legs and they situated themselves comfortably on the couch while the movie started.
"Hey Blaine?"
"Mmm?" Blaine looked over at Kurt and raised his eyebrows in question.
Kurt wanted to ask Blaine never to mention what they talked about to a single soul, but he quickly realized there was no need. That conversation would likely go with both of them to the grave. "Nevermind."He offered Blaine a small smile and was granted one in return. Kurt snuggled down a bit farther into the blanket, grateful to be where he was because it made him feel safe.
…
Hiram and Leroy got home from their date around 10:00pm and found their son using Kurt as a pillow on the couch, both sleeping as the Chariots of Fire DVD menu droned on in the background.
"Leroy, there appears to have been a raging party while we were gone. Your son and the Hummel boy have overdosed on dairy and overrated British cinema."
"Shush Hiram, and let those two be. Go call Burt and let him know his son's spending the night here."