Jan. 20, 2013, 10:42 a.m.
He Sings Out a Song Which is Soft but it's Clear: Chapter 2 - Just the Way You Are
T - Words: 3,663 - Last Updated: Jan 20, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 12/12 - Created: Jan 20, 2013 - Updated: Jan 20, 2013 514 0 0 0 0
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
Saturday morning, Blaine wandered into the kitchen to find his sister making scrambled tofu. He scrunched his nose at the smell as he yanked open the refrigerator and pulled out the container of orange juice. After closing the door, he settled himself onto a bar stool at the kitchen's island and took a swig straight from the carton.
"Blaine! Other people drink from there!" Rachel pointed her spatula at him as if it were an extension of her finger.
He swallowed the gulp of juice that was in his mouth and wiped his free hand across his face, smearing the drops of orange liquid that had dribbled down his chin. "Sorry."
Rachel rolled her eyes and went back to her tofu. "I saw someone from your school at McKinley yesterday. I hope for Kurt's sake he's not in the Warblers or else he's going to get in a lot of trouble for fraternizing with the enemy. You know, technically *you're* the enemy..."
Blaine didn't hear the rest of her sentence because his sister mentioned Kurt and his heart started racing.
Landrick.
That was the only person Blaine could possibly think was at McKinley. With Kurt.
He shuddered at the thought and then realized he probably should have heard his sister out, but it was too late, for she had already moved on to talking about herself. Blaine slid off his barstool and quietly placed the orange juice cartoon back into the fridge. He bolted upstairs, hoping to outrun his thoughts. The bedroom door was already closed behind him by time Rachel realized her brother was gone from the kitchen.
A majority of Blaine's afternoon was spent in his room, hammering out his book report on Ordinary People, taking notes on two chapters from his Latin II book, and finishing the write-up for last week's Chemistry lab. He liked getting all of his homework done on Saturday so he had his whole Sunday free for reading or working on some compositions for college applications. Even thought he still had a couple years of high school to go, he was always planning ahead for his escape from Ohio.
Hours passed. Blaine took small breaks for food and to use the bathroom, but by time he got all his work done, it was almost 11:30 pm. Still in his pajamas from the night before, Blaine took a quick shower and threw on a clean pair of boxers and some OSU sweatpants, not even bothering to put on a shirt. He towel-dried his hair the best he could and slid his glasses back on. Though it was late, he was craving some celebratory carbs for finishing his homework. He decided to venture down to the kitchen for some Pop Tarts.
His dads were out of town for the weekend and he knew Rachel had a friend or two over for a sleepover (of which she threatened him to not interrupt), so he was left to his own devices. Blaine quietly wandered downstairs to the kitchen. He fumbled for the light switch and flipped it on, dragging his feet across the floor toward the pantry.
Blaine grabbed a packet of Strawberry Milkshake Pop Tarts from the back of his comfort food shelf and shut the pantry door. He gasped in surprise when he found himself face-to-face with a pajama-clad Kurt Hummel and promptly dropped the Pop Tarts on the floor.
Kurt leaned over to pick up the packet, then straightened back up and handed the Pop Tarts to a slack-jawed Blaine.
"You dropped these," Kurt said with a small smile.
"Th-thanks." Blaine took the snack, eyes wide in shock. Kurt was the last person he expected to see right then, as he was pretty sure his sister said something earlier about "girls night."
In addition to the semi-awkward silence, Blaine began to shiver. It was only then he realized he was standing silently in front of his crush with no shirt on and probably looking like a hot mess. Instinctively, Blaine crossed his arms over his chest and pulled his hands into his sides; as if there were some way he could completely hide himself. "Um, I should - I should go."
He broke eye contact with the older boy, ducked his head and took a step toward the door when Kurt called out softly in an almost broken voice, "Hey wait. Please?" Blaine stopped in his tracks and dared to look up at Kurt. "Can we talk?"
Blaine exhaled a breath he didn't know he had been holding in as he nodded, slowly at first, but then somehow more confidently.
Kurt offered half a smile as he followed Blaine into the living room. Blaine set his Pop Tarts down on the coffee table and motioned for Kurt to sit down on the couch. "I'll be right back."
Blaine sprinted upstairs to his room and made a beeline toward his dresser. He yanked open a middle drawer and pulled out a long sleeved t-shirt boasting Dalton's emblem. With one hand, he took off his glasses and with the other; he wormed his way into the shirt. A quick glance in the mirror as he returned his glasses to the bridge of his nose showed his hair was sticking out in every direction. Blaine sighed, knowing there wasn't much he could do this late at night unless he wanted to keep Kurt waiting. So, instead he flew back down the steps, praying he wasn't making enough noise for his sister to come out and scold him.
When he got back to the living room, Blaine found Kurt had wrapped himself up in the blanket that had been folded on the back of the couch. He looked so young and vulnerable that Blaine's heart hurt with unrequited love. Kurt misread Blaine's look as concern and immediately apologized. "Sorry! I should have asked before taking the blanket."
Blaine shook him off as he sat down. "It's fine."
Kurt freed one of his hands from under the blanket and began fiddling with a tassel. "Thank you."
Blaine shifted around in his seat on the couch. He really wanted a Pop Tart, or at least something to occupy his hands. But Kurt had asked him to talk, so he tried to stay focused instead of the nervous wreck he felt like inside.
After a few moments of silence that felt like an eternity to Blaine, Kurt spoke up again. His voice was soft and laced with regret. "I confronted my bully."
Blaine swallowed, somehow knowing something went wrong from Kurt's tone of voice. "Oh?"
Kurt nodded. "Yeah. After he shoved me into a locker the other day, I - uh - I followed him into the locker room to give him a piece of my mind. I yelled a lot. He yelled a lot."
All Blaine could think to do was nod, so he did. He looked over at Kurt, hoping eye contact was going to be some sort of moral support, but Kurt stared down at his hands.
"And then kissed me."
Blaine's eyes grew wide and he absentmindedly ran his hands through his hair, causing it to stick out even more. He shook his head in disbelief, feeling incredibly guilty because he was the one who suggested Kurt confront his bully. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry, Kurt. This is all my fault. I can't believe - I'm just - I'm sorry." Blaine stilled when he felt Kurt put a hand on his forearm.
"Hey, stop. It wasn't your fault. Trust me." Kurt now had tears in his eyes, but the certainty in his voice made it clear to Blaine that he should not be blaming himself for anything. Blaine offered Kurt half a smile, but still felt awful.
"Are you okay?" Blaine asked sincerely with complete concern.
Kurt nodded as he sighed. "Yes. I think so. It was just a lot to take in, I guess. But Landrick came to McKinley yesterday to try and make sure Dave – the guy that bullied me – would stop."
Something inside of Blaine's chest tightened at the mention of Landrick's name. "Oh. I didn't realize you and Landrick were..." Blaine couldn't even bring himself to finish his own sentence.
Kurt blushed at Blaine's comments and shook his head. "We aren't, I mean, we're not... I mean, we only just met. But that's what I really wanted to talk to you about. Um, Landrick."
Blaine looked down at his hands and then his unopened Pop Tarts. He cursed his late-night craving and wished he had just gone to bed after his shower. "What about him?" Blaine directed his question at the coffee table.
"Um..." Blaine could hear and feel Kurt fidgeting on the couch next to him but could not bring himself to look him in the eye. "He gave me his number after I watched you guys perform the other day. And then he skipped school and drove all the way to Lima to have help me with a 30 second confrontation with my bully. And, I dunno... He seems like a really nice guy. I was hoping you could tell me a little more about him? I mean, since you go to school with him and all. He seems sweet..."
Though he was only 16, Blaine was pretty sure he was having a heart attack. That was the only explanation for the sudden amount of pain that was shooting through his chest at the moment. Was he dying? Was this how he was supposed to go? Broken hearted and having never kissed anyone?
"Blaine?"
No. He was still alive. His heart was just shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. (Being overly dramatic ran in his family... He just internalized it while if his sister was in this situation, she would loudly proclaim her utter discontent.)
Blaine swallowed again to stall and collect his thoughts. He could tell Kurt what he really felt about Landrick. How Landrick picked on him daily for his hairstyle and how he's a goody-goody because he gets good grades and gets all the Warbler solos even though he's just a sophomore. He could tell Kurt that he, Blaine Anderson Berry, has feelings for him and has had said feelings since middle school. And that he, Blaine Anderson Berry, would love and respect Kurt for as long as they both shall live.
But when Blaine finally glanced up to look at Kurt, he saw how hopeful the other boy looked and he knew what he had to say.
"Landrick is… a good guy, Kurt." Blaine briefly closed his eyes and cursed his cowardice. He had an opening to be honest with Kurt and he blew it. So, for Kurt's sake, he kept going. "He's a senior. He's smart and sings really well. He'd be lucky to be with someone like you."
Kurt blushed hard at the compliment. "We're not together. Not yet anyway. But he did ask me to see Rent with him next week... I think it's a date." He was beaming; tickled pink that someone had asked him out.
"Oh. Well that's - that's great, Kurt." Blaine plastered a smile onto his face as best he could. He felt tears prickling his eye and was too embarrassed that he was going to break down in front of his crush. Blaine quickly grabbed his Pop Tarts and bolted up off the couch. "Um, it's getting late. We should go to bed. I mean I should go to bed. My bed. Right. Um. Have fun on your, your date." He tried to get away from the couch, but his legs bumped into the coffee table. Sharp pain shot through his knee as it collided with the table's corner. "Ow. Uh, goodnight." Blaine nearly tripped as he ran through the doorway and up the staircase. Kurt was left on the couch, confused and alone.
Blaine was smart enough to not slam the door shut after he burst into his room. He threw his Pop Tarts on his bed and grabbed a pillow, smothering his face as he muttered phrases of self-loathing. After a few minutes of belittling himself and his lack of balls for not telling Kurt the truth about Landrick and his own feelings, Blaine settled down and finally opened up his snack. They were no longer celebratory Pop Tarts, but a means to eat his feelings.
…
Blaine stayed in his room the rest of the weekend and made it his mission during the week to avoid Landrick at all costs. The only blocks in Blaine's schedule that overlapped with Landrick's were lunch and Warblers practice. Since Blaine almost always ate lunch by himself in the student lounge, he didn't have to worry about seeing or hearing Landrick. Warblers rehearsal was not quite as easy to get away from the older boy. Blaine often got stuck standing next to Landrick, though during the few moments of down time, Blaine fled to the piano in the corner, quietly going over whatever solo he had that week.
It was Thursday when Blaine finally overheard Landrick talking about Kurt. He didn't mention Kurt by name, but Blaine knew.
"Yeah, so last night I took this guy to see Rent at the Playhouse," Landrick told a few fellow Warblers who seemed to worship the ground he walked on.
A brown haired boy on the shorter side nudged Landrick in the ribs and wiggled his eyebrows. "Round any bases?"
Blaine held his breath, dreading the answer.
Landrick shook his head, "Nope. At the end of the night, I tried to kiss him and he got all panicky. Like I was assaulting him with my face or something. Whatever."
Blaine exhaled and made it look like he was busy shuffling through a stack of sheet music. He wouldn't have been able to tell you what music was in front of him if you paid him; his mind was racing with this new information. Clearly Kurt hadn't told Landrick that his bully kissed him or else Landrick wouldn't have said what he said. Right? But Landrick went to McKinley last week to help Kurt confront his bully. Blaine was confused ... Kurt told *him* about the kiss.
What did it mean? Did it mean anything?
…
Blaine didn't see Kurt until the following weekend because Kurt was busy with wedding plans. The day after Blaine overheard Landrick talking about his date with Kurt, Kurt's dad (Burt Hummel) proposed to Finn's mom (Carole Hudson). Finn was his sister's boyfriend, and the Berrys were family friends of both the Hudsons and the Hummels, so wedding plans and excitement were in the air the whole week leading up to the Hudmel union.
On the morning of the wedding, Blaine kept his distance from his sister who was running about the house yelling every so often if anyone had seen her shoes or knew where the hairspray was. She and the New Directions were performing at the wedding so she had to get ready and leave before Blaine and their dads. Blaine was thankful to be going to the wedding. He liked Mr. Hummel a lot and was grateful for a legitimate excuse to not attend a Warblers video game tournament that was taking place at the same time as the wedding.
That afternoon, the Berry men sat and watched their dear friends get married. The ceremony was beautiful and heartfelt. Blaine's cheeks were red as he looked on, for he was unable to take his eyes off of Kurt (who stood proudly, albeit tearfully, next to his father the entire time).
The reception was equally beautiful. Blaine knew from his sister's constant jabbering that Kurt was responsible for every detail of the wedding and reception hall. The flowers were gorgeous and everything was fabulous yet still understated at the same time.
When he got to the table where he was to be seated with his dads and other families of the glee club kids, Blaine saw all the handwritten place cards, each done in beautiful calligraphy. When he thought no one was looking, Blaine traced his fingers reverently along the scripted "B," secretly thrilled knowing Kurt spent part of his precious time writing his name.
Once it was announced that Mr. and Mrs. Burt Hummel were entering the room, people started cheering and music started playing. Everyone watched with joy as the newlyweds danced to "Sway," as sung by Mr. Schuester, the instructor of the New Directions.
Later after the toasts, Blaine watched shyly as Finn dedicated Bruno Mars's "Just the Way You Are" to Kurt and the new stepbrothers danced with each other. Though Blaine thought it was odd for Finn to keep all the female pronouns in the song, he still thought it was a sweet gesture on a whole. As he watched all the kids from New Directions dance with each other, Blaine felt tiny pangs of jealously coursing through his body. They all looked like they were having fun and he longed to join in, but was not brave enough to ask any of his sister's friends to dance.
A few minutes later, Blaine was sitting alone at his table, hunched over his phone. The Warblers video game tournament was in full swing and his friends Jeff and Nick were texting him updates. Apparently Landrick was getting his ass handed to him in Call of Duty; this made Blaine smile.
In the middle of texting back a reply to Nick, someone put his hand on Blaine's shoulder, causing him to jerk upright and drop his phone on the floor.
"I'm sorry," Kurt said as he reached down to pick up Blaine's phone for him. "I didn't mean to scare you." He held out the phone to Blaine, who took it and clicked it off before sliding it back into his pants pocket.
Blaine's heart was racing, partially from the scare, but mostly because Kurt was standing in his personal space dressed in a tux and looking amazing. "It's okay. I wasn't paying attention."
Kurt smiled and then looked around the room, surveying the dancing couples out on the floor. "You want to dance?"
"Huh?" Blaine was pretty sure he did not hear that right.
Kurt turned back toward Blaine and held out a hand to him. "Do you, Blaine Anderson Berry, want to dance?"
Blaine wanted to jump for joy, but settled on nodding, then reaching up and shakily taking Kurt's proffered hand.
The older boy must have noticed Blaine's nervousness because he chuckled as they made their way to a somewhat secluded area of the floor. Blaine's cheeks flushed from embarrassment. "Sorry. I haven't danced since…" his voice trailed off as Kurt put one hand on his waist and hoisted the other in the air.
Against his better judgment, Blaine took a deep breath as he gently rested his hand on Kurt's shoulder. They began moving, awkwardly at first but then less so, to the rhythm of the music. A boy with a Mohawk he recognized from temple and a pretty Latina girl danced past them and the boy whistled and remarked, "Get it, Hummelberry!"
Blaine's heart felt like it was going to explode as Kurt gripped his waist a little tighter. "Shut it, Noah." Kurt turned his attention back to Blaine. "Sorry about him. He's unevolved." They danced silently for a little longer before Kurt spoke up again. "Before, you said you 'haven't danced since,' but then you kind of didn't finish your sentence. Haven't danced since what?"
"Oh, um," Blaine closed his eyes and thought quickly how to answer without making himself sound like a victim, even though that's exactly what he was. "Since middle school. There was a Sadie Hawkins dance… and I haven't danced since... then." Blaine was too scared to tell Kurt he hadn't danced since then because after the dance, three guys beat the living crap out of him and his friend Kyle.
Kurt frowned, guessing there was more to the story, but not wanting to press further seeing as he already seemed to upset Blaine with his question.
The song ended and a slower one started up. Before Blaine could pull away, Kurt slid his hand from Blaine's waist and settled it in the middle of his lower back. "Is this okay?" Kurt waited until Blaine nodded before pulling him a little closer and they began swaying again.
Although Blaine was thrilled to be dancing with Kurt, his mind kept drifting to Landrick and how he wasn't there. Blaine didn't want to ruin the moment and bring him up, but he had to know. He had to know why Landrick was playing video games with the Warblers and why Kurt didn't tell him about being kissed by his bully. Blaine had to know why he was the one in Kurt's arms at the moment and why he was the one Kurt confided in. "Kurt?"
"Mmm?" The taller boy had closed his eyes and nestled his cheek into Blaine's shoulder.
Blaine chickened out. "The wedding and reception were beautiful."
Though Kurt's face was facing away from Blaine's, the younger boy could feel Kurt's cheek move from smiling wide. "They were, weren't they?"
Blaine let out a sigh. Though he was still wondering about Kurt and Landrick's relationship status, he had to be content with how the day turned out in his favor. Blaine closed his eyes as they swayed to the music and whispered so low that no one could hear him, "You're beautiful."