And now my head's been filled with doubt

'I know how it sounds, Rachel. Please just do it anyway?'

Kurt's exasperated voice drifts from the living room into the kitchen where Blaine and Finn are still sitting. Kurt has been on the phone with Rachel for the last ten minutes, trying to get her to agree to take a message for Blaine, but wait fifteen years to deliver it. If she thinks that Kurt is messing with her or that he has lost his mind, Blaine doesn't really blame her.

'I think we over-estimated how easy this whole “sending a message to the future” thing was going to be,' Blaine tells Finn. 'Tell me again why one of you can't just do it?'

Finn hesitates for a moment, frowning as he searches for a way to explain it. 'It's because we're part of events. Like, we know what happens. And if we get involved in the future, we could end up influencing things even if we don't mean to. And to be honest,' Finn lowers his voice. 'I'm a little scared that Kurt is actually going to want to. Bad, bad things could happen. Trust me, it'll be safer this way.'

Blaine isn't entirely sure that what Finn just said makes any sense, or that it hasn't just left him more confused, but he decides to just let it go, trusting that, in this case, Finn is the expert.

'Yeah, unless Rachel has Kurt committed for being out of his mind.' Blaine says as he hears Kurt's desperate voice from the other room, and he is only half joking. 'I don't think I need to tell you that that doesn't actually happen where I'm from.'

Finn holds up his hand and makes a face. 'Dude, spoilers.'

Blaine laughs a little then. If Blaine thought he was uptight about talking about the future, Finn is even more so. He looks up, then, to see Kurt stepping back into the kitchen, phone in hand and looking exhausted.

'She wants to speak to you,' he tells Blaine, who takes the phone warily, and he has barely finished his 'hello' before Rachel is speaking to him in a worried but firm voice.

'Do you know what your boyfriend just asked me to do?'

'Erm, yes?' Blaine says, but he realizes that was probably the wrong answer when he hears a sharp intake of breath on the other end and quickly backtracks. 'But I don't know what it's supposed to say. That would defeat the purpose, wouldn't it?' he says nervously. 'It's – uhm – a game of sorts,' he adds wildly.

'Really?' Rachel says skeptically. 'Kurt told me it was a matter of life and death.'

'Well, that too.' Blaine grimaces. He really should have paid more attention when Kurt was speaking to her. 'You know how he hates losing.' Rachel lets out a small noise of assent, and Blaine lets a few seconds of silence pass. 'So you'll do it?'

Rachel sighs. 'I suppose. If it's that important to you.'

'Great! Thank you.' Blaine gives the thumbs up to Kurt and Finn, who are both following the conversation closely. 'We'll text you the exact message soon. Or I mean, Kurt will.'

'Okay, but don't rush on my account. And Blaine?'

'Yes, Rachel?'

'Next time you boys get bored just do what normal people do and play Scrabble or Clue or something.'

Blaine laughs lightly, bids Rachel goodbye and hands the phone back to Finn. Soon the three of them have put the finishing touches on their plan. The idea is to drive out to a bridge on the outskirts of town and have Blaine jump off it into the river below, and, if Rachel keeps her promise, fifteen years from now, the other Blaine will do the same. Blaine hates heights and as such they are hoping that the adrenaline rush as he jumps will be enough to make the switch back. They all agree, however, that they should wait until evening when there are fewer cars on the road to minimize the risk of being seen and someone stopping them.

And so, having an afternoon to pass, Blaine and Kurt find themselves alone in the living room once more, Finn having disappeared back upstairs. Kurt has brought down some of his homework and is sitting in one end of the couch, back against the armrest and his work propped against his bent legs. Next to him Blaine is idly flipping the channels on the TV, keeping half an eye on Kurt as he works quietly. It's almost comfortable, except that it isn't at all. Interacting was a lot easier earlier when they were planning and had a common goal. Now they're just...waiting, and neither of them really knows how to be around the other.

After zapping for a while, watching five minutes here, two minutes there, Blaine comes across a channel that has just started showing the 1961 film version of West Side Story, and he decides to watch it, figuring that it's been a while. A few minutes pass before Kurt looks up from his work to see what's happening on screen.

'West Side Story,' he says with a small smile, and Blaine knows that Kurt, too, is remembering their own version of the play and what it meant to them. 'You were such a good Tony.'

'Your Officer Krupke was better,' Blaine is quick to say. 'Shame you didn't get to sing though.'

Kurt just shrugs and returns his attention to his homework, apparently over the casting injustice by now. Truthfully, at the time of the play there was a small part of Blaine that was somewhat relieved Kurt didn't have a singing part, as Blaine felt he might have got distracted and missed his cues. He always had a soft spot for Kurt's singing.

When “Something's Coming”, always a favorite of Blaine's, comes on a little while later, he turns the volume up a bit, causing Kurt to look up again.

'Sorry, does it bother you?' Blaine asks, suddenly feeling rude for seizing control of the Hummels' TV.

Kurt replies with a smile and a vague 'no' before turning once more to his school work. As the song continues, however, Kurt's eyes keep drifting back to the TV, never staying long on the homework in his lap.

'Sorry, it's disturbing you, I can tell. I'll just--'

'No, it's fine,' Kurt assures him, as he throws his homework aside and changes his position so he's facing the TV. 'Besides it's math. I've had enough brain teasers for at least a week. I'd rather watch this.'

Kurt nods at the TV and Blaine grins in response. It doesn't take long before they are both entirely engrossed in the film, and for a while it feels almost normal and Blaine nearly lets himself forget the bizarre situation they find themselves in while they laugh and reminisce about McKinley's production of the play. They compare performances, ('Remember Santana in this scene? She was fierce,' Kurt says, only to have Blaine remind him, 'Santana's always fierce. But yes.') discuss staging ('I don't care what anyone says, our “America” was epic.') and wardrobe.

'Oh god, remember the dress Rachel was wearing here? Absolutely hideous,' Blaine exclaims, feeling oddly cathartic at finally saying it out loud, having been too polite to say so at the time (it was really bad, okay?).

Kurt snorts before agreeing, 'Definitely one of Artie's more questionable creative decisions. And it would have been completely distracting if it wasn't for you guys' acting. Especially yours.'

At his last words Kurt, sitting close enough that he can (how did that happen?), bumps his shoulder gently against Blaine's. It's light and almost teasing, but it's oddly intimate and Blaine can't help the shy smile and the flush that creeps into his cheeks. Kurt always had this way of making him feel special, when no one else could. Which he supposes is a bit backwards, because shouldn't he – logically – believe it more coming from someone who isn't watching through boyfriend-colored glasses? But that's how it is, how it's always been. Blaine is just about to say something modest, when Kurt speaks again, giddy this time.

'Oh my god, I love this song so much. Turn it up!'

Blaine obliges, and before he can process what is happening, before he can even begin to prepare or brace himself, Kurt is singing along to “I Feel Pretty”. And it's not just the lazy hum from his cooking spree this morning; it's actual singing, though he makes it seem entirely effortless, and it completely floors Blaine. As his breath hitches, his first thought is that Kurt really should have warned him.

You take my breath away.

The words that were once spoken by Kurt himself now occur to Blaine (yes, he still remembers that, shut up), as he finds himself unable to stop staring at Kurt throughout the whole song.

'You're amazing, you know that?' The words tumble out of Blaine's mouth as Kurt finishes the song, and he thinks Kurt even blushes a little. It takes maybe three seconds for Blaine to realize what he just said and how he said it, and then his eyes widen, because he just got dangerously close to inappropriate again, and, wow, does he ever suck at taking his own advice.

Luckily Finn picks that moment to come thundering down the stairs and into the living room. He reminds them of the time and suggests they start getting ready. Blaine, glad of the distraction, quickly agrees despite being a little unsure what “getting ready” entails.

Half an hour later they have finished packing, led by a surprisingly in-charge Finn, who was the one to suggest that they bring towels and a dry set of clothes. Blaine is a little impressed with how well Finn has thought it through (or maybe he and Kurt just didn't think it through at all).

'Right. Let's go then,' Finn says as they are all standing in the hall, dressed and ready. Blaine thinks he must look pretty strange in Finn's old but for him still oversized clothes and his own younger self’s too small jacket. 'Car keys?'

In front of him Kurt jangles the car keys in response. Kurt opens the front door and Blaine makes to follow him and Finn outside, when Kurt lets out a small squeal of surprise as he is confronted with someone standing just outside the door.

'Rachel!'

Blaine's eyes widen in panic, and he ducks behind Finn, hoping Rachel hasn't seen him.

'Okay, what's going on?' Rachel's tone is demanding, and Blaine can practically imagine her, hands on hips.

'Dude,' Finn says in a low voice at the same time as Kurt attempts to brush Rachel off. 'Hide. Kitchen.'

Blaine does as he is told and slips quickly into the kitchen from where he can still hear the conversation in the hall clearly.

'The truth. Now please.'

'By all means, come in,' Kurt says dryly, and Blaine realizes that Rachel must have invited herself in. Blaine looks at the clock on the microwave and feels panic rising in his chest. If Rachel keeps them here much longer, they are going to be too late.

'Rachel, what exactly do you think we're keeping from you?' Finn asks, adopting his best my-girlfriend-is-being-crazy voice.

'I don't know, but clearly something's going on!' Rachel sounds almost hysterical. 'First you forget to meet me, and then you ask me to write down a message and keep it for fifteen years, and Blaine's being weird, and don't even get me started on the message itself. And then I hear there was a car crash last night?' She pauses to let out a breath. 'It all adds up, doesn't it?'

'To what exactly?' Kurt lets out a breathy laugh like he finds all this very amusing, but Blaine hears the tension underneath it. They need to get going soon. 'You're not making any sense.'

'Where is he?' Rachel demands, clearly ignoring Kurt, and Blaine can tell from the way her voice reaches him differently, coming more through the other door now, that she must have moved into the living room.

'What makes you think he's even here?' Finn tries.

'Didn't say I did. But I do now. And there's that,' Rachel says like she's pointing at something, and it takes a second for Blaine to realize that his clothes from yesterday are still lying in there.

'Uh, that's--'

'Guys, what is going on? Why won't you let me see him?'

'He's sleeping,' Kurt says suddenly. 'Yeah, he's really tired. You know, car crash and all. So if you could just come back later--'

'Let me see him.'

'Rachel, I told you. He's--'

'Tired, I know. I won't wake him, I swear.'

Blaine looks at the clock again. If he's honest, he's a little touched that apparently Rachel is this worried about him, but they really, really need to get going now. Maybe if he could just sneak to the front door unseen, he could drive to the river and do the whole thing by himself. It isn't ideal, of course, but what choice does he have? He can't stay in 2012 forever.

'He's fine, I promise,' Kurt says as Blaine re-enters the hall as quietly as possible. 'Everything's fine. He just-- What are you doing?'

Rachel comes bursting back into the hall, headed for the staircase, and Blaine freezes as though he can make himself invisible by just staying still. But of course Rachel sees him and she immediately abandons her quest for the stairs.

'Blaine, there you are. What's--' She stops talking, and as Kurt and Finn join them in the hall, she looks back and forth between all three boys, her mouth hanging open. The room is silent for about ten seconds, while everyone ponders this new turn of events.

'We have to go.' Kurt is the first one to speak, and he grabs Blaine by the arm and drags him past Rachel through the still open front door. 'Come on, Finn.'

'Wait! I'm coming, too,' Rachel insists, joining Finn in the backseat. Kurt is about to tell her off, but she sends him a steely look that he catches in the rear-view mirror. 'Don't you dare try and stop me.'

'Fine.' Kurt rolls his eyes, before speeding out of the driveway. After a few minutes of silence he asks, 'How are we for time?'

'Twenty minutes,' Finn replies, eyeing Rachel beside him nervously. She has been uncharacteristically quiet these past few minutes. Kurt, watching her in the rear-view mirror, sees her mouth open and close a few times, but mostly she just looks confused.

'Just so you know,' Kurt tells her. 'If we're late, I'm holding you responsible.'

'Late for what?' Rachel's voice sounds surprisingly small. 'I don't even know what's going on.'

'It's complicated,' Finn tells her.

Kurt sighs as he slows down at a red light, before launching into speech, 'Blaine got switched with a thirty-two-year-old version of himself when they both had a car crash. And now we're trying to switch them back. That's what the message was for.'

'Okay, so maybe not that complicated,' Finn corrects, as Rachel closes her open mouth, but still staring wide-eyed at her boyfriend.

In the front seat Blaine lets a snort escape him, and Kurt giggles despite himself.

Despite everyone's panicking they arrive at the bridge with ten minutes to spare. They park at one end of the bridge and walk the rest of the way to the middle of it. Blaine walks to the edge and looks down, before quickly taking a few steps back, looking determinedly calm.

'You okay?' Kurt asks softly, and Blaine turns to face him. Finn is standing a little ways off, talking to a still wide-eyed Rachel, so Kurt and Blaine can talk privately.

'Yeah. It's just a bit higher than I thought,' Blaine replies, looking back off to the side of the bridge.

'That's not what I meant.' Blaine looks back at Kurt, brow furrowed. 'You've been quiet.'

Blaine just shrugs noncommittally. Kurt narrows his eyes at him for a moment, before he finally comes to a decision and asks what he's wanted to since this morning.

'Look, I'm sorry if this breaks some time travel code but, Blaine, I need to ask; is everything okay?' Blaine doesn't answer, doesn't meet Kurt's gaze, just hugs himself against the cold wind and looks around at the falling darkness. But Kurt presses on. 'You may be fifteen years older, but I like to think I still know you, and something's up with the way you've been acting. And I've tried to ignore it, and respect your wishes, but you've seriously got me worried here.'

Blaine meets Kurt's eyes for the first time then, a silent plea in his eyes. Please don't make me talk about this. But that look is exactly why Kurt has to.

'I know. Paradoxes.' Kurt throws one hand up in defense. 'But I'm not looking to change anything. I just need to know.' Kurt's overactive mind has been conjuring up all sorts of scenarios. Scenarios where people they know might be sick or dying or dead. Scenarios where none of their dreams come true and they're living in poverty, or-- Suddenly a horrible thought occurs to him. 'Oh god, are you going to break up with me? Are we not together in the future?'

Blaine doesn't answer right away, just looks at him, an unreadable expression on his face. He looks like he's calculating his answer.

'That's it, isn't it?' Kurt's heart is racing furiously in his chest, and, as he feels unshed tears burn his eyes, he almost wishes he hadn't asked. No wonder he didn't want to kiss me, he thinks miserably. 'Oh, I'm so stupid, thinking you would just stay with--'

'Hey, no,' Blaine says gently, jumping into action and gripping Kurt's flailing arms. He looks Kurt in the eye before telling him firmly, 'I'm not going to break up with you.'

Kurt calms down immediately, his breathing evening out. Blaine lets go of his wrists and takes a small step back.

'Then what?' Kurt's breath hitches a little.

'Then nothing, Kurt. I'm fine. You're fine. If I've been acting weird, it because it's a weird situation. Don't worry, okay?'

Kurt looks into Blaine's eyes, searching them for-- he isn't sure what, or if he finds it, but after a few seconds he nods silently.

'Two minutes, guys.'

They look up to see Finn approaching them, Rachel trailing uncertainly behind him. Blaine nods solemnly and starts removing his jacket and shoes. He steps back to edge and jumps on the spot a few times, shaking off his nerves. He climbs over the wall to stand on the small ledge on the other side. Kurt watches him as he takes a shaky breath and mumbles something like 'Don't look down.'

'You'll be fine.' Kurt runs a soothing hand along Blaine's back, and Blaine twists around slightly to look at him.

'Okay, any moment now,' Finn tells them, eyes on his watch.

'See you in fifteen years?' Kurt says, a small smile playing on his lips. Blaine smiles in return and nods at Finn and Rachel, before turning back to the task at hand.

He jumps.

Blaine's stomach lurches and he feels his adrenaline spike as he falls. A second later he hits the water and his first thought it is that he never ever wants to be a winter swimmer, because, wow, it's cold, and it's not even winter. Completely underwater, Blaine takes a few seconds to get his bearings, momentarily unsure which way is up. Then he kicks with his feet and a few moments later he gasps for air as he feels cool wind on his face. He squints up at the bridge, trying to ascertain whether it worked. If he's home now.

'Blaine?' Kurt calls uncertainly. Blaine can just makes Kurt out in the still falling darkness, and behind him are two other shapes – Finn and Rachel. Blaine feels his heart sink.

'Yeah. No. Still me. Sorry,' Blaine calls back before swimming to the shore and climbing up the hill to the bridge above. Shivering in his wet clothes, he makes it to the car where the others are already waiting for him. He accepts the towel from a dejected-looking Kurt and tries a smile. 'Apparently I'm not that easy to get rid of.'

Blaine gets dried off and changed in silence, feeling a little uncomfortable with three pairs of eyes on him. Finn watches him with a confused frown on his face. Rachel makes him self-conscious by looking him up and down, as though he were an interesting piece of art. Kurt is trying very hard not to look, Blaine can tell, biting his lip and averting his eyes every time Blaine catches him. The expression on his face is a strange mixture of curiosity and frustration, as his gaze finally drifts from Blaine to Rachel.

'This is your fault, you know,' he tells her harshly. 'You just had to meddle, didn't you?'

Rachel looks affronted, and, despite the lurking conflict, Blaine is relieved as every pair of eyes leave him.

'Hey, don't look at me,' she says indignantly. 'I'm still going to deliver your stupid message. It's not my fault your little magic trick didn't work.'

'Whatever,' Blaine hears Kurt mutter sourly, as Blaine pulls a sweatshirt over his head. When he emerges, Rachel's eyes are on him again, her expression softened.

'Blaine.' She smiles, stepping closer to him and Blaine looks at her uncertainly. 'I'm gonna hug you now, okay?'

'Er, okay,' he says, as she wraps her arms around his neck, hugging him tight, and he can't help but smile a little, even if he doesn't understand why Rachel is hugging him all of a sudden.

A little while later the four of them find themselves in a small diner, Kurt having remembered that they hadn't eaten dinner before they left home, and none of them really feel up to cooking now. At first they are all a bit jumpy, worried that someone is going to recognize Blaine and start asking questions, but after a few minutes they calm down a bit, figuring that they are so far from their usual haunts that the chances of seeing anyone they know are very slim.

It turns out to be a somewhat subdued affair. Blaine was supposed to be home now, Kurt reunited with his Blaine. It was supposed to be over now. They didn't plan for this. Sitting here now, eating dinner in a grungy diner, feels a little anticlimactic.

Only Rachel seems unperturbed by their recent failure, as she talks in hushed excited tones. She asks question after question about the hows and the whens and the whys. Blaine allows the others to answer as much as possible, preferring to sit in his own thoughts, wishing it were over, that he were home. Of course Rachel being Rachel, she eventually starts asking questions of a different kind. Do we win Nationals? How was my NYADA audition? How's my career? When was my Broadway debut? Blaine very gently tells her that he can't answer that, and she reacts, much in the same way Kurt did, with a pout, which earns her a laugh from the others.

After they have all finished eating and the bill has been paid, Kurt and Finn are in the bathroom, while Blaine and Rachel wait by the exit.

'Are you okay?' Rachel asks him softly, concern etched on her face.

'I wish people would stop asking me that,' Blaine sighs, all but rolling his eyes at her. 'I just really wanted to go home. And now I don't even know how long it'll be before we figure it out.'

Rachel looks at him sympathetically and he has the odd feeling of being x-rayed, like she can look right through him. It's not a feeling he particularly likes.

'I get it. But in the meantime you get to hang out with Kurt at eighteen.' She pokes him playfully in the side. 'That can't be that bad, right?'

'No, he's...'

Blaine trails off as he sees Kurt emerges with Finn from the bathroom. Blaine isn't sure if he was agreeing or disagreeing anyway.

By mid-Sunday Kurt, Blaine and Finn are once again gathered around the kitchen table. Kurt goes into the discussion with a quiet sort of optimism, and Finn has apparently stocked up on enthusiasm in his sleep and is persevering undeterred. Blaine for his part is full of energy, too, but it isn't the usual bouncy happy energy that Kurt is used to. He seems oddly agitated and it makes Kurt think of a bomb that could go off at any moment.

They are joined this time by Rachel, who insisted on being let in on the discussions. Kurt likes having his best friend there, although admittedly she isn't particularly helpful, as she keeps asking questions that slow down the proceedings. And then there's that one time, half an hour in, when she loudly exclaims, like she thinks she has just struck gold,

'Maybe you should have sex!'

Next to her Blaine nearly chokes on his coffee, and Rachel absently pats him on the back, as she watches Kurt's incredulous expression.

'Hey, I'm serious. You said it's about adrenaline, right? Well...' She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, and Kurt flushes. Next to him Finn is suddenly very interested in the pattern on his mug, and across from him Blaine looks rather like he wants to disappear.

'It's hardly the same thing,' Kurt manages to choke out.

'Well, then neither is a car crash and a jump off a bridge, but you tried that,' Rachel persists.

Kurt looks briefly at Blaine who is staring resolutely at a spot on the table, before saying tightly, 'Rachel, can we please not talk about this?'

'You don't have to be embarrassed. I know you guys have done it before--'

'Oh my god, Rachel, stop it!' Kurt stands up suddenly in frustration. For someone who has so often been described as prudish, Rachel is surprisingly up for talking about things. 'It's not the solution, and it's not happening.'

'Why?'

Kurt feels it would be a little on childish side to say 'Because Blaine doesn't want to,' so he settles for a bitchy glare and an icy 'Because none of your business,' which finally shuts her up. He sits down again and looks around at the others, clearing his throat and asking as calmly as possible. 'So. Any other ideas?'

In the end they decide that they had the right idea with the bridge, but that maybe the details were off. Blaine reminds them that the switch didn't happen at exactly the same time, so perhaps they need to work that into their plan. Finn suggests that maybe the bridge wasn't high enough and they should try a different one a bit further outside town, which causes Blaine to pale considerably, but he eventually agrees. They also spend a lot of time on the wording of the message, making sure that it's as clear as possible.

'And we need to figure out who to ask this time, because apparently Rachel isn't going to work,' Finn says, which causes Rachel to cross her arms in a pout. 'No one's blaming you,' Finn tells her and Rachel throws Kurt a dirty look, which he ignores, because he does still sort of blame her. 'But we can't take any chances.'

'Maybe you could ask Cooper?' Kurt proposes to Blaine, as the latter pours himself another cup of coffee with one hand and taps his finger on the table with the other. Okay, that's enough caffeine, Kurt thinks to himself, and he almost takes the cup from Blaine, before he remembers that Blaine is a grown man, who doesn't need Kurt to babysit him. Blaine shakes his head no at Kurt's suggestion.

'If I could talk to him on his own, maybe, but he's with my parents right now. I really don't need the three of them thinking I'm insane or something.'

They spend some time discussing their options, most of them members of New Directions. Tina and Mercedes are ruled out with 'Too many questions, too gossipy' and Santana and Artie are deemed unlikely to agree at all. Brittany would probably agree, but she would be unlikely to keep it private, and too likely to forget or change the wording of the message. Finally Finn suggests Puck, saying that he and Finn are good enough friends that he would probably do it, but he also wouldn't ask too many questions (Rachel shifts uncomfortably in her chair), which they all have to agree with.

With the plan set, they just need to figure out when to carry it out. Blaine is practically out the door already, but he is reminded that Finn first needs to talk to Puck, and Kurt confesses that he's supposed to meet Tina later today for a glee club thing.

'I'm sorry, I'd have told you, but I really thought you would be back by now, and, uhm, I could cancel, but--'

'It's okay,' Blaine holds up his hand to stop Kurt's stream of apologies. 'Don't cancel. We'll just do it after. When will you be done?'

'Late probably? And I, uh, kind of have a ton of homework to--'

'Fine. Tomorrow after school then,' Blaine says irritably.

'And glee club,' Rachel whispers quietly.

'After glee club. Fine.'

And with that Blaine gets up and leaves to room, leaving his half-empty coffee cup behind.

'Is he alright?' Rachel asks, sounding concerned, as they hear him climb the stairs a moment later. 'He seems a little...on edge.'

'He's just getting impatient. We all are,' Kurt says. 'And it probably doesn't help that he has to stay in this house or risk causing a shitstorm if people start recognizing him.'

*

A few hours later Kurt is getting ready to head over to Tina's, and he feels a little bad about leaving Blaine behind. It's no wonder that Blaine is starting to feel a little claustrophobic at this point. Kurt voices his concern as he pops his head into the living room where Blaine has thankfully decided to rejoin Finn and Rachel.

'I'm not a child, Kurt. You don't need to feel guilty for leaving me alone,' Blaine tells him, doing his best to sound like he means it.

'Don't worry,' Rachel chimes in. 'I'll keep him occupied. I want his opinion on my NYADA audition piece, that I've been working on.'

'Oh. My sincerest sympathies,' he tells Blaine jokingly with a tip of his imaginary hat, which prompts Rachel to throw a pillow at him and Blaine to snort into his coffee, earning a him disapproving glare. 'I mean,' Kurt pretends to correct himself. 'Fun times,' he says, no less jokingly than before and making little exaggerated jazz hands, before ducking out quickly lest Rachel throw something else at him.

*

Monday drags by much too slowly for Kurt's liking, his favorite classes boring today and his least favorite ones feeling twice as long as usual. Feeling restless in History class, listening to Mr. Smith (god, even his teacher's name is boring), Kurt whips out his phone to text Blaine.

I had no idea history could be this dull. Its almost interesting how bored I am. How r u?

Kurt presses send and looks down at his notebook. Usually at this point, he has at least written something, but the page is completely blank today. After a few minutes of not taking notes, Kurt checks his muted phone to see if Blaine has replied, but he has no new text alert, and he doesn't get one for the rest of the class.

At lunch Finn joins him to tell him that he has sorted everything with Puck, having apparently found it surprisingly easy. Kurt nods tersely and checks his phone again.

'What's up?' Finn asks him.

'Blaine's not replying to my texts.' Kurt feels silly saying it out loud, realizing that it probably makes him sound like a needy girlfriend, but with the way Blaine was acting yesterday, his lack of reply is making Kurt a little antsy.

'Dude, he probably just doesn't know to check his phone.'

'I know,' Kurt breathes, but he still keeps checking his phone every five minutes for the rest of lunch and periodically throughout the day. When the bell signals the end of his last class of the day, Kurt is almost ready to forget about glee club and head home instead, but Rachel tells him very firmly that with Nationals coming up, skipping out on glee club is not an option.

'We need all hands on deck,' she tells him as she all but drags him towards the choir room.

'What, Blaine doesn't count?' Kurt says, hurt on his boyfriend's behalf and his mind drifting to his Blaine, and then feeling a little guilty for not having thought about him more these past few days.

Rachel tuts, 'You know what I meant.' She stops walking and looks at Kurt for a moment, then touching a reassuring hand to Kurt's arm. 'I'm sure he's fine, wherever he is. And you'll have him back tonight.'

'You don't know that,' Kurt says in small voice. 'That he's fine. He was in a car crash, remember?'

'Well, the evidence is sitting at home, perfectly fine and healthy.' She smiles sweetly.

'You don't think he's...different?' Kurt swallows. 'Off?' Rachel's eyes widen a little in response. 'You've noticed it too.'

Rachel shakes her head a little as though she's trying to swat off a fly and she starts down the hall again.

'Kurt, he's thirty-two. You can't expect him to be exactly the way he was at seventeen.'

'I know I should stop freaking out,' Kurt sighs, following her. 'It's just a feeling. Like he's... trying to hard or something.'

'He may be,' Rachel says reasonably as they reach the choir room. 'But he's out of his element. I mean, it's gotta be weird.'

'I know. I'm gonna stop worrying,' Kurt says, deciding once and for all to shelf the doubt in his gut and go with the evidence at hand. 'Blaine says he's fine, he's fine.'

With that in mind glee club turns out to be a pretty enjoyable affair. When his friends ask about Blaine, having somehow heard about the car crash (Kurt raises an eyebrow at Rachel who averts her eyes), he is able to calmly tell them that no, Blaine is not in a coma (Brittany), he doesn't need surgery again (Tina), that he'll be back in school soon (Mike), they don't need to collectively serenade him (Rachel – what?) and no, they don't need to kick anyone's ass (Puck).

When practice has ended and Kurt and Finn finally make it home, Rachel in tow, Blaine is waiting for them just inside the door, already wearing his shoes and in the process of pulling on his jacket.

'Hey, slow down, buddy,' Finn tells him. 'If we leave now, we're just gonna have to wait out there. I told Puck six o'clock and with the time--' he pauses, evidently searching for a word. '--discrepancy?' he looks at Rachel, who nods encouragingly. 'That's not until six forty-five for us.'

'Then we'll wait in the car. I don't care.' Blaine is practically jumping up and down. 'I've been holed up here on my own all day. I'd just really like to feel like there's a world outside this house. No offense.' He looks at Kurt, eyes alight with excitement. 'It's a lovely house. Just, you know--'

'I know,' Kurt grins at him. He can practically see an imaginary tail wagging. This is a Blaine he recognizes. He catches Rachel's eye and she raises an eyebrow in a manner that Kurt takes to mean See, what did I tell you?

They decide to indulge Blaine and leave as soon as they have gathered everything they need. Rachel takes the front passenger seat this time, which leaves Blaine to sit with Finn in the back. Not that he does much actual sitting. Blaine is almost manic, bouncing around in his seat as much as the seat belt will allow him, and singing along to the radio. Finn is watching him with an amused expression, like Blaine is an overgrown, overexcited puppy.

'Dude, what's up with you? You're being totally--' Finn waves his arm in a vague gesture, apparently unable to find a strong enough word.

Blaine simply shrugs and grins. 'Just enjoying my last few hours in 2012.'

Kurt catches Rachel's raised eyebrow, and he suppresses a giggle, wondering vaguely if Blaine broke into his father's liquor cabinet during the day, but decides that can't be true, as Blaine hasn't tried to kiss anyone yet. Just as well. Kurt doesn't particularly need to see his boyfriend make out with his brother.

*

At six thirty-five they exit the car and make their way to the middle of the bridge. This one is much, much higher than the first one, and Blaine visibly pales as he looks over the edge, suddenly far less chipper. Kurt watches as again Blaine removes his shoes and his jacket, getting ready for a second time, before turning to face the group and say his goodbyes.

Finn claps Blaine on the shoulder, before Rachel pushes him aside and pulls Blaine into a tight hug. When she releases him, he steps over to Kurt, who is watching apprehensively, feeling his nerves start to build.

'For real this time?' Kurt says.

Blaine smiles, and he looks at Kurt a bit like he's trying to memorize every feature of his face. He takes Kurt's hand and squeezes it gently in response. Blaine steps up on the ledge, and lets out a shaky breath as his eyes can't help but dart downwards.

'Shit, that's high. You're sure it's safe, right?'

'You'll be fine. Just don't look down.' Kurt tries to sound reassuring, but he watches Blaine tremble in anticipation. 'How's the time?' he asks Finn.

'About one minute.'

'Okay. You okay up there?' he calls to Blaine.

'Shit no,' Blaine says with a half-hysterical laugh.

'Having second thoughts about my sex suggestion?' Rachel asks. Kurt throws her filthy look, and she throws her hands up in apology and mimics zipping her mouth shut.

'Fifteen seconds.'

'Okay.' Blaine lets out what is supposed to be calming breath. 'Just make sure I don't drown, okay?' he says, and, eyes closed, he jumps.

What feels like an eternity later, they hear a splash, telling them that Blaine has hit the water. They all hurry to the edge of the bridge and look down, anxious for him to reappear.

'You don't think he's passed out?' Rachel asks timidly, when several seconds have passed by. Kurt's heart is hammering in what feels like his throat, and it suddenly occurs to him that one of them should have been down by the shore, ready to jump in, in case something happened and Blaine didn't pop back up by himself. Kurt is almost about to do something, when Blaine finally resurfaces, and he breathes a sigh of relief.

'Is it- Can you see?'

Kurt squints trying to make out which Blaine is currently swimming to the shore, but they are so far up that it really could be either of them. They watch as Blaine starts to climb back up the slope.

'It's him. I think it is,' Kurt says excitedly and he begins to run towards the end of the bridge to meet Blaine. However, when Kurt gets a little closer he slows down, and he lets out a noise of frustration as he realizes that again their plan has failed.

'Hey,' he says lamely, as he reaches Blaine, who is wet, muddy, shivering and still thirty-two. Kurt leads him to the car, and does his best to remain composed as he helps Blaine change out of his wet clothes. What the hell are they going to do now? Blaine remains silent as they rid him of all his wet clothes. By the time they finish, Blaine hasn't met Kurt's eye once, and Kurt takes in his still shivering form. 'Hang on, I'll see if we have a blanket in the trunk.'

Kurt moves around to the back of the car and opens the trunk. He rummages for a minute, before pulling out a blanket. It's old and musty, but it'll have to do. He turns around and finds himself face to face with Rachel, Finn shuffling his feet awkwardly behind her.

'Are you okay?' she asks gently.

'I'm fine. I'm not the one who just jumped off a bridge. Again. For nothing. Blaine's the one you need to worry about.'

'Yeah, where is he?' Finn cuts in, looking around the side of the car.

'What? What are you talking about?' Kurt says sharply, shutting the trunk and walking back to the passenger seat where he left Blaine. 'He's right--'

Except Blaine isn't where Kurt left him. Confused, Kurt spins around on the spot, hoping to see Blaine somewhere, and Kurt sees him then, some hundred and fifty feet away, disappearing into the falling darkness.

'Blaine!' Kurt calls desperately, but either Blaine can't hear him or he's choosing to ignore him.