March 7, 2013, 7:23 a.m.
Beautifully Wrong: Chapter 1
E - Words: 10,588 - Last Updated: Mar 07, 2013 Story: Complete - Chapters: 31/31 - Created: Aug 08, 2012 - Updated: Mar 07, 2013 1,327 0 0 0 0
Today all day I had the feeling
(When he's talking)
Kurt didn't know. No one did. Or rather no one besides the people that couldn't notknow. There was Blaine's family obviously: His parents and Cooper; aunts and uncles, cousins and grandparents. Then there was Blaine's doctors and therapist, who oversaw his treatment. All those were unavoidable. School administrations at Blaine's first high school, at Dalton and now at McKinley had also been told, which was necessary for certain allowances to be made (Blaine didn't shower with the rest of the boys after P.E. and he was excused from certain field trips). Trent was the only one of Blaine's peers who knew, and then only because him having been Blaine's roommate at Dalton sort necessitated it. Blaine supposed there was also the kids at the high school in Columbus, where he had spent his first freshman year. It had been nearly three years since he had seen any of them, though, so they didn't really count, and in fact Blaine preferred not to think about those kids at all.
So as far as his day-to-day life was concerned, Blaine was, to all intents and purposes, what was known as "stealth", and he liked it that way. He knew that it was unfair not to include Kurt as one of the people who knew. It was just that telling all those people had been literally quite unavoidable, and telling Kurt – though the morally right thing to do – wasn't. Blaine had been on hormones for two and half years, which meant that as long as he took certain precautions, like binding his chest and avoiding communal showers, no one would ever suspect that he wasn't biologically male. And with this being the first relationship for the both of them, Kurt and Blaine had agreed from the start to take things slow physically and Kurt hadn't pushed (Blaine sure hadn't) so keeping that part of himself hidden hadn't been difficult for Blaine.
It wasn't that Blaine had ever planned on entering a relationship with anyone without first telling them the truth – least of all with Kurt who meant so indescribably much Blaine, not only as a boyfriend but as a friend. But then he and Kurt had just sort of happened without planning or forethought. Of course, looking back, Blaine could see it happening over weeks and months, could see himself falling harder and harder with every day that passed, but he had tried so hard to keep himself at a distance, focusing so much of his energy on that, that when he couldn't anymore, there was no plan ready in his mind. There was just Kurt, Kurt, Kurt and Tomorrow. I'll tell him tomorrow.
It was Artie of all people who made Blaine stop and take stock of the situation.
It had been nearly a month since the full cast list for McKinley's production of West Side Story had been posted, and now the premiere was less than a week away. However, Artie (as the eager young director) was still not satisfied with certain aspects of the show and on Friday afternoon he pulled his leads aside to run through a number of the songs. As Blaine and Rachel's voices rang through the auditorium with the final note of Tonight, Blaine was feeling quite happy with their performance, confident even – but then the words "sexual awakening" left Artie's mouth and Blaine tensed, sure he wasn't going to like the rest of the conversation. And as Artie continued to talk about passion and sex and first times, somehow not finding the topic remotely inappropriate, Blaine found he was right.
It wasn't that Blaine put much, if any, stock in Artie's idea that that one specific experience could really make or break anyone's performance. Rather he was caught uncomfortably off guard by the whole thing. His awkward 'I'm waiting for the right time,' in response to the inquiry about his first time, was only half-true, because the truth was that Blaine hadn't been waiting as much as he had ignored the topic of sex and physical intimacy altogether. Now that it been brought brutally back to the forefront of his mind, however, and Blaine was hit with the sudden realization that he and Kurt were coming up on their ninth month together and there was only so much longer Kurt would be satisfied with what they had now, Blaine had to face the fact that he may very well be running out of time.
'Well, that's me done.' Kurt closed his textbook with a loud snap, which Blaine, sitting cross-legged on the bed with his nose in a book, barely registered. He felt the mattress dip as Kurt joined him on the bed, but kept his eyes trained on the book in his lap. 'How's yours coming? You done soon?'
'Mmm,' Blaine non-responded, having not really heard the question.
'Well, get cracking then.' Kurt patted Blaine's leg teasingly. 'The whole point of this was that we'd have some alone time when we're done. I don't think Artie's gonna let us sleep this weekend, let alone have social lives, so we gotta make tonight count.' Kurt paused for a moment before continuing, his voice high and breathless. 'I can't believe we open next week. Feels like they just cast us last week. I think we've all worked hard though, and we're ready. Or we will be by Thursday. I feel ready. Do you feel ready?'
'Mm, yeah, sure,' Blaine said distractedly, still not looking up.
'But then I thought I might not do the play at all, and just move to Alaska and work in a gold mine.'
'Yeah, good... wait, what?' Blaine finally looked up, frowning at Kurt's words, to find his boyfriend looking at him with a bemused sort of expression.
'There you are.' Kurt smiled and leaned over to press a soft kiss to Blaine's cheek. 'Thought I'd lost you for a second.'
'I'm sorry.' Blaine exhaled deeply and leaned back against the headboard. 'But you said it yourself. I just need to finish this chapter for History and then I'm all yours.'
Kurt's eyes narrowed as he took the book from Blaine and examined it briefly. 'Yeah, I'm pretty sure this is Algebra, Blaine. Also, you haven't turned the page in at least ten minutes.' Kurt threw the book aside on the bed and shifted himself so he was sitting directly in front of Blaine, his hands resting on Blaine's knees. 'What's going on? Are you okay?'
'No. Yeah. It's fine, really.' Blaine closed his eyes for a brief moment, suddenly so tired. 'Just something Artie said earlier. It's nothing.'
'What did he say?' Kurt's eyes narrowed and his tone was dangerous as though he would like nothing more than to get his hands on Artie.
'Nothing really.' Blaine waved a dismissive hand. 'Just a director's note. You know how he is. It's nothing.'
'It's not nothing if it's got you all worked up like this,' Kurt said.
'Honestly, Kurt, it's fine. Don't worry. I'm just overreacting.' Blaine paused as Kurt kept eyeing him skeptically. 'Really. It's nothing. I shouldn't've even told you.'
'You know, Blaine, there's only so many times you can say "it's nothing" before it starts to mean the opposite. What did Artie say? Was he being rude or out of line or...?'
Blaine bit his lip as Kurt watched him from the bed, his eyes big and earnest. Blaine's heart hammered as he considered the possibility of just telling Kurt the truth here and now. It's just that he mentioned sex, and I'm scared to even bring that up with you, because the truth is I'm transgender, so my body doesn't look like other boys' and I'm afraid of what that will do to our relationship when you find out. Blaine let out a breath he had been holding a little while longer than usual.
'No, he wasn't. It was just-' Blaine cut himself off when he heard the front door slam downstairs. Saved by the bell. 'Hold on, that's my mom. I just gotta...' Blaine grabbed something off his bedside table and waved it in front of Kurt as though that was an explanation. 'Be right back.' And before Kurt could do much more than look frustrated, Blaine had left the bedroom faster than if it had been on fire.
He found his mother downstairs, still in the hall, hanging her coat. Something about the speed and swiftness of her movements let Blaine know that, while she may be home for the night, her work day wasn't over. She was probably headed straight to her computer.
'Hi Mom,' Blaine said softly, coming to a halt at the bottom step. She wheeled around to face him, an expression of mild surprise on her face. It was an expression Blaine's mother wore a lot around her youngest, as though she kept forgetting he was in the house too. Blaine supposed she was just still getting used to having him home after two years at Dalton, but sometimes, when a dark mood struck him, Blaine wondered if maybe she hoped he would just go away again, or grow up already and go to college or something.
'Hi sweetie, you're home. Have a nice day?' she asked, but her voice was breathless and Blaine could tell that her mind was elsewhere and she was really just feigning interest, so he decided to cut to the chase.
'Yeah, it was fine. I got your tickets today. Best seats in the house.' Blaine beamed as he held out the thin pieces of papers in his hand. 'I know Dad isn't due home for another two weeks, but I got one for him as well. Just in case.'
Blaine shrugged and gestured again for his mother to take the tickets. She accepted them, but when she examined them her face fell and she sucked in a breath and made a noise of regret.
'It's on Thursday? Blaine, sweetie, I'm sorry, but I can't come. I have a huge meeting on Thursday. It's impossible to reschedule at this point.'
'But Mom,' Blaine pleaded, his heart sinking. 'I worked hard on this. I- It's the lead role. I really wanted you there.'
'I know, I'm sorry,' she replied sympathetically but Blaine didn't miss the defensive edge to her voice as she went on. 'But you know what my job is like. You can't just spring these things on me last minute. You have to tell me ahead of time, so I can work my schedule around it.'
'I did.' Blaine's voice was quiet as he spoke and he hugged his arms around himself. 'Last month. When I first got cast. I did tell you.'
'You did?' She bit her lip. Clearly this was news to her. 'I must not have had my calendar with me, and it slipped my mind.'
Blaine let out a short humorless laugh. 'It slipped your mind... Meanwhile Rachel's parents have been running lines with her every night. They're both coming to the opening show on Thursday and a couple after that. Plus they're filming the whole thing. They're bringing a tripod.'
Blaine's mother opened and closed her mouth a few times, no sound coming out, but then she seemed to gather herself. 'Well, I don't know who this Rachel is, but it sounds to me like her parents have a lot of time on their hands.'
'No, they make time,' Blaine said, yanking the tickets out of his mother's hand and turning to walk back upstairs.
'Hey, that's not fair, Blaine. We're doing our best here,' she called after him. Then she added softer, 'Another night, okay? I'll try and make it one of the other nights.'
'It doesn't matter,' Blaine called back, even as disappointment burned in his throat. 'It's just a silly high school production.'
When he reached the door to his bedroom, Blaine put the tickets away in his pocket and allowed himself to stand there for a moment, picking himself back up and burying the anger and hurt. He was well practiced by now so it didn't take long.
'Hey.' Blaine strode into the room all smiles to find Kurt standing in the middle of the room, a contemplative look on his face.
'Hey...' Kurt's greeting was a little more hesitant, and he watched as Blaine crossed to the other side of the room to his record player. 'Everything okay?'
'Yeah,' Blaine replied breathlessly as he directed his focus to a stack of old vinyls.
'What are you doing?' Kurt asked as Blaine found the record he was looking for and pulled it from its case. 'I thought you still had to finish.'
'Yeah, well, it's Friday and it's past six.' He put the record in the player and started it, enjoying the soft crackling sound it made. 'You can't expect me to concentrate on Algebra right now.'
'No, especially not as you don't even seem to be able to tell it apart from History,' Kurt chuckled briefly. 'What was that about?'
'I told you. It's Friday,' Blaine said simply. 'Now dance with me.'
As Blaine started to move in front of him, Kurt looked doubtfully on as though he would really rather that they had a serious conversation, but it only took a few moments before the corners of his mouth twitched into a smile at sight before him. Blaine took that as his cue to grab Kurt by the hand and soon they were dancing and laughing along to the tunes of Roxy Music.
'Hey, no, we can't stop now,' Blaine said as the record ran out and Kurt moved to sit down on the bed. Blaine scrambled to switch sides on the record. 'This is the best one.'
'You've been saying that for three songs,' Kurt pointed out as he got more comfortable on the bed.
'Okay, yes,' Blaine admitted as he replaced the needle. 'But this time it's true.' Blaine started moving again as Love is the Drug began playing. 'God, I love this record. Definitely the best new album this year.'
Kurt raised an eyebrow. 'You do realize this album has been out for, like, forty years, right? It's Roxy Music. It's hardly new. The vinyl should give you a clue.'
'Thirty-six,' Blaine corrected. 'And I meant new to me. Also, I'll have you know they still make vinyls. Thank god.'
Kurt smiled indulgently. 'My boyfriend's a Katy Perry devotee and a vinyl purist. You, honey, are truly exceptional.'
'"Devotee."' Blaine chuckled. 'You make me sound like some kind of crazed stalker. I prefer "admirer."'
'Like that's any better.' Kurt said with a snort, which prompted Blaine to stick out his tongue at him.
'Anyway, I'm not a purist. I just like them. The mechanics. The little crinkling sound. It's soothing.' Blaine paused, lost for a moment in childhood memories of a grandfather who had left behind an old turntable and his undying love of records when he passed. 'And who says it has to be one or the other? Old or new? It's not all black and white, you know.'
'Mmm,' was all Kurt said. He had settled on his stomach, propped up on his elbows, and he was watching Blaine quietly.
'What?'
'Nothing. Keep dancing. You're adorable like that.'
'I hope that's adorable as in "my cute and handsome boyfriend,"' Blaine said. 'And not "my stupid dorky little brother."'
'A little of both, I'd say? Mostly the first though.' Kurt looked thoughtful for a moment. 'My cute and stupidly handsome boyfriend, who is also adorably dorky.'
'I guess I can live with that,' Blaine decided with a grin, before moving back to the turntable and starting the record over, since they had talked over most of his favorite song. He resumed his dancing, letting himself be swept away by the music and admittedly egged on a little by the way Kurt seemed to be enjoying the show, judging by the way he was watching Blaine with still darkening eyes.
'God, Roxy Music makes me wanna build a time machine just so I can go back to the seventies and give Bryan Ferry a high five.'
'Do you think I'm boring?' Kurt asked out of nowhere.
'Are you crazy?' Blaine said, taken aback by the question and with no idea where Kurt was coming from. 'You're the single most interesting kid in all of Ohio.'
'I mean like...' Kurt sat up on the bed and Blaine could tell that this was no longer idle chat. 'Sexually. I mean, we are playing it very safe by not granting our hands visas to travel south of the equator.' Kurt made an awkward gesture to show what he meant.
'I thought that's what we wanted,' Blaine said as casually as he could manage, while internally cursing this day and people's propensities for sex talks.
'It is. I'm just wondering, have you ever had the urge to just rip off each other's clothes and just get dirty?'
Blaine, who had been watching Kurt open-mouthed as he spoke, quickly recovered, and he was even able to answer quite truthfully, 'Well, yeah, but that's why they invented masturbation.'
'It's so hot in this room. Can we open up a window?'
Kurt was blushing slightly, and as Blaine crawled on the bed to reassure his boyfriend and talk about comfort, Blaine breathed an internal sigh of relief, because the blushing at least told him that Kurt wasn't ready to "get dirty" right now, even if he did want to talk about it. It gave Blaine time. Time to think and time to form some sort of plan that didn't end with him being alone and the word "freak" ringing in his ears.
No matter how much he stood by his decision to transfer to McKinley, it had not been without some regret in his heart that Blaine had said goodbye to Dalton back in September. It was a strange feeling walking through the grand halls of the place he had called home for two years, still remembering and recognizing every detail as if he had never left, but as a visitor now and no longer really belonging here. The odd thing was that, despite playing the male lead in the school musical and having been accepted into the glee club by anyone that wasn't Finn (what was his problem, anyway?), Blaine still didn't really feel like he belonged at McKinley either. He had the sneaking suspicion that he could stop coming to school tomorrow and no one besides Kurt and maybe a few teachers would notice or care.
However, from the way the face of every Warbler lit up in excitement, when they saw him watching their performance from the doorway – even a few new members that Blaine had never met – it was clear that the Warblers hadn't forgotten Blaine in the two months he had been away. When one of the new guys dragged Blaine into the performance, Blaine was reluctant for only half a second before he gave in to it and let himself be swept away by the music and the fun. It was a little bit like coming home.
The performance ended to great applause from Blaine and as he gave Nick a hug, congratulating him on a great solo, his old group of friends all milled around him, buzzing with excitement.
'Is this your triumphant return to Dalton?' Trent urged. 'Please?'
'Actually, I'm here to invite you guys to my opening night at McKinley,' Blaine said as from his back pocket he withdrew a stack of tickets, that he had been lucky to get this late in the game. The two now useless tickets Blaine had got for his parents had served as good bargaining chips. 'West Side Story. I reserved a whole block of tickets just for the Warblers. It would mean the world to me if you guys could come.'
'We'll be there,' a tall Warbler that Blaine didn't know – the same guy that had pulled Blaine into the performance – assured him. 'Once a Warbler, always a Warbler, right?'
The statement was met with cheers and murmurs of assent, while Blaine himself watched the new guy curiously. There was something strange about the way he looked at Blaine, that Blaine couldn't put his finger on, and he wasn't altogether sure he liked it. As the Warblers began filing out of the room, Blaine suddenly remembered the other reason he was here and quickly pulled Trent aside, speaking to him in a low voice.
'Hey, can I talk to you? In private?' he added meaningfully.
Trent frowned for a short moment, but then he seemed to catch on and gave a small nod. 'Sure. Can you hang around though? I have to go meet with the guidance counselor. Say in an hour at the dorms?'
'Great, thanks.' Blaine glanced over his shoulder at the new Warbler, who was watching the two of them, clearly waiting for them to finish. 'I guess I'll just go say hello to the new guy. See you later then.'
Sebastian Smythe was unlike anyone Blaine had ever met – and definitely very much unlike Blaine himself. Sebastian had a certain air of confidence about him, that Blaine had to admit he admired a little, even though it also made him a bit nervous.
'So you're a legend at Dalton,' Sebastian said the moment the two of them had sat down for coffee.
'Well, I...' Blaine mumbled, at a loss for how to respond.
'Don't be modest,' Sebastian said, his smile wide and revealing perfectly straight white teeth. 'I was, like, I don't know who this Blaine guy is, but apparently he's sex on a stick and sings like a dream.' Blaine gave an involuntary jerk of the head at word sex, before laughing awkwardly at Sebastian's words. 'So – sucks that I missed him.'
As Sebastian's smile morphed into a smirk, his gaze at Blaine changed into something more intense and searching, and Blaine couldn't help the feeling that Sebastian was looking for something that wasn't there.
'Alright,' Sebastian continued, his demeanor melting into something more business-like. 'Since I'm working to recreate your meteoric ascent, I need to ask. Why'd you leave Dalton?' Sebastian's eyes darkened and he lost the business act as he went on. 'Were you bored with all the preppies around here, or is it that you broke too many hearts to stay?'
Blaine laughed nervously. It was slowly dawning on him that he was being flirted with and it gave him an odd unsettled feeling in his stomach.
'It wasn't like that,' Blaine managed to get out. He thought for a moment. 'Let's just say I miss Dalton every day, but McKinley's where my heart is now.'
Sebastian seemed to take the hint and kept the topic on the Warblers and performing as he went on. Blaine, however, was only half paying attention, though he was acutely aware of the way Sebastian kept eyeing him like he was some particularly delicious piece of food that he couldn't wait to devour. Blaine vaguely wondered if Sebastian would be so interested if he knew what Blaine hid beneath layers of clothing. Blaine's mind wandered then to everyone in his life who knew his truth and to his less than stellar relationship with each of them. There was his mom, who worked all the time and never seemed to pay attention to anything Blaine did or said. There was his dad whose job had him on the road for weeks at a time and who Blaine didn't know how to talk to anyway. Then there was Cooper with whom Blaine usually got along well enough on the rare occasion that they saw each other, but in whose eyes Blaine never seemed to measure up. Blaine didn't really speak to much of his extended family of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins, but as far as he knew none of them had been too happy to learn that the little girl they knew was really a boy, though his grandmother had at least paid for him to attend Dalton. Blaine's maternal grandfather, with whom Blaine had had a strong bond, had passed away before he could know, and Blaine was half glad of that as it left no chance for his grandfather to be disappointed with or think less of his grandchild. Theirs would always be the one perfect relationship Blaine had.
Inevitably Blaine's thoughts circled back around – as they always did these days – to Kurt and the conversation that must come. He felt his stomach do a sudden unpleasant swoop, and he looked at his watch, willing the clock to go faster as the urge to talk to Trent got impossibly stronger. Trent who had known Blaine's story since five minutes after they met and who had accepted Blaine unconditionally despite seeing sides of Blaine that the other boys – not being his roommate – never did. Blaine sometimes wished that he and Trent could have just fallen for each other. Things – well, some things – would have been so much simpler then.
'I have to go. Lacrosse practice,' Sebastian said then, jolting Blaine from his thoughts. 'But... could we meet again? I could really use some more insight from you, Blaine. You know, Warbler to Warbler.'
'Sure,' Blaine replied before he could really process what Sebastian was asking, his brain still so deep in thought about everything else. It was a moment before it reoccurred to him that the whole time Sebastian had never stopped looking at him with hungry eyes, and there were several reasons why that made Blaine uncomfortable, but before Blaine could even consider voicing his concerns, Sebastian had left the room. Blaine didn't figure he had any reason to worry though. Sebastian seemed harmless enough, and who was Blaine to turn down helping a fellow Warbler? After all, as Sebastian said, once a Warbler, always a Warbler, right?
Fifteen minutes before he was supposed to meet Trent, Blaine sighed and got up from his position at the table, figuring if he walked really slowly he wouldn't be early. On his way to the dorms Blaine met a couple of familiar faces – and a couple of unfamiliar ones that seemed to know him – some merely offering brief hellos, while others stopped to chat.
Blaine smiled to himself as he proceeded down the hall to the dormitories, the walk to his old dorm room both familiar and new, having walked this way so many times before but never as a visitor. He came to a halt in front of the door, before looking quickly at his watch. Seven minutes early. That would have to do. He knocked.
The door was opened quickly by Trent sans blazer and sporting a loose tie, clearly taking advantage of his free and private time before dinner to unwind a little. Blaine had seen this countless times before, and it gave him a series of sudden flashbacks to the many private moments the two of them had shared as roommates. Trent's face lit up in a smile as he saw Blaine, and he stood aside to let him in before closing the door behind him.
Blaine absently noted that Trent's side of the room looked exactly like it had two months ago (perfectly neat and tidy), while a stranger's belongings took up the side of the room that had been Blaine's. The idea made him feel strangely sad, but there was no time to ponder this for long, because then Trent was hugging Blaine like he hadn't seen him in years. Blaine had learned a long time ago, that Trent could be an extremely affectionate person once you got to know him.
'God, I missed you,' Trent mumbled against Blaine's neck before finally letting go of him. 'My new roommate's horrible. He leaves dirty socks everywhere, he has no appreciation for music, and he snores, Blaine.' Trent was ranting now, and Blaine could feel his own mouth curling into an amused smile, despite how much he tried to look concerned. 'I feel like I haven't slept properly in a month. Do you know what it's like living with someone like that? I need my sleep. He never even goes home on weekends either. I suspect his parents are kind of relieved to-'
'Trent?'
'Yes?'
'Breathe.'
Trent let out a long breath of air. 'Yes. Good. Thank you.' Trent sank onto his bed, leaning against the wall at the the head of the bed, and Blaine joined him, sitting sideways and letting his shoe-clad feet dangle over the edge. 'See, this is why I need you.'
'To remind you to breathe?' Blaine said, keeping his voice even and turning his head to regard Trent, one brow raised.
'Hilarious,' Trent replied sarcastically and threw a pillow at Blaine, who raised his arms in defense. Trent continued in a softer tone. 'How are you though? What's it like being back home?'
'It's...' Blaine hesitated, buying time by making a show of picking up the pillow and hugging it against his chest. 'Surprisingly lonely.'
'How so?'
Blaine sighed. 'My parents. God love 'em, they've done so much for me, but they're never really there. In any sense of the word. I guess I just expected...' He trailed off. 'Anyway, I've been used to having friends around me all the time. I guess I've just gotta get used to being by myself again.'
'You've got friends at McKinley, though, right? In New Directions.'
'Yeah, sure.' Blaine thought of Finn and Santana chastising him for being an attention seeker, and he thought of the way he still felt like he was on the fringes of everything that went on in the club. 'It's difficult... they've all known each other for so long. I'm still trying to figure out where I fit in.'
'Kurt's gotta make the whole thing easier though? Being closer to him and seeing him every day. I mean, he's basically the reason you left, right? I still remember what you were like to live with those last few months after Kurt had transferred back. Not that I didn't sympathize, but you were kind of whiny, no offense.'
Blaine threw the pillow back at Trent with a grin, but immediately wished he hadn't because he missed having something to clutch. He bit his lip.
'Yeah...Kurt. That's kind of why I'm here actually. It's- He doesn't know. I've never told him. About the whole -' Blaine automatically lowered his voice despite being behind a closed door with presumably no curious eavesdroppers trying to listen in. '- trans thing.'
'He- what? How is that even possible?' Trent's eyes went wide with shock. 'How can he not know?'
'I've been careful.' Blaine shrugged.
'Okay, wow...' Trent said quietly. 'I just sort of always assumed you'd told him at some point.'
Blaine slumped, face planting onto the bed and mumbling into the mattress, 'I know, I should have. I'm a horrible person.'
Blaine felt the mattress dip near him and a hand touched his shoulder. He sat back up but didn't meet Trent's eye.
'Okay, one: You're not,' Trent told him firmly, leaving no room for doubt. 'You're just... scared, I assume? And two: That word is reserved for my roommate, remember?'
Blaine sighed and sank back into the bed, leaning his head and shoulders against the wall. 'I have to tell him, right?' Blaine said in a hollow voice, staring at the clock on the opposite wall. 'He deserves to know.'
'Well, yes.' Trent sat himself next to Blaine. 'I don't want to get involved with things that are none of my business, but, if he doesn't know, the two of you can't have gone very far. Physically, I mean. Don't you want more? Don't you think he does?'
'I know he does. And I want more, too.' Blaine contemplated this statement for a few moments. 'Or at least I want to want more. Does that make sense?'
'So what's holding you up?' Trent asked.
'Well, it's like you said. I'm...scared. How's he going to react? Not just to the thing itself but to the fact that I kept it from him?' Trent was quiet. He had no answer. 'What if he hates me? I couldn't bear that.'
'I'm sure, whatever he's going to do or say, he won't hate you,' Trent said reasonably. 'Kurt doesn't do hate.'
'Try telling his former best friend that.' Blaine paused. 'Do you remember last year when Kurt and I had that big fight? When I thought I might be bi? He completely tore me a new one and basically denied that bisexuality exists. What's he gonna do when I tell him I'm transgender? It's not even like either of us can hide behind a "maybe" with that one.'
There were a few moments of silence in which Trent seemed to be contemplating something. 'You do realize that it was love at first sight with the two of you, right? Okay, maybe not "love" but something. Kurt knew. You, on the other hand, were a little slower on the uptake. The guys had a bet going about how long it would take you.'
'What, seriously? You bet on us?'
'Well, I didn't,' Trent corrected as though it were a matter of pride. 'Although I may have acted as referee. Jeff won, by the way. He bet it would happen by Regionals.'
Blaine snorted incredulously, not knowing whether to find the matter tasteless or amusing. 'I'm confused though. What does that have to do with the fight?'
'Isn't it obvious? He was jealous, Blaine. And that wasn't just any girl you went out with. Rachel was supposed to be one of his best friends. That has to have stung.'
'Oh,' Blaine said dumbly. 'Well, I feel stupid now.'
'Don't let me stop you.'
'Hey!'
Trent just surveyed him with his 'you know I'm right' face. 'Well, really Blaine. You have to admit you can be pretty dense sometimes.' He prodded Blaine in the side, teasing him. 'You're lucky you're so cute.'
'Yeah, that's me. Lucky...' Blaine let the word hang in the air for a few moments, while he wrestled with a thought. 'It's just, even if he doesn't outright hate me, what are the odds that he's gonna stick around as anything more than a friend? I mean, he's gay.'
'And you're a guy,' Trent said simply, clearly refusing to understand where Blaine was going.
'Yes, I know that. But I don't exactly have a...' Blaine made an awkward half-hearted gesture. 'And there's this,' he added, waving his arm in front of his chest. 'That's not what he signed up for.'
'How long have you been together? Eight months?' Blaine nodded. 'And he hasn't pushed for sex yet?' Blaine blushed, his mouth falling open slightly. Trent was a good friend, yes, but they didn't usually have conversations like this. 'Come on, answer the question,' Trent insisted a little impatiently. 'You're the one that made this about sex.'
Blaine cleared his throat. 'No. He hasn't pushed.'
'And you guys are happy, right?'
'Yes.' A smile spread across Blaine's face. 'Very.'
'Well, I'd say that's proof enough that he likes you for more than your hypothetical penis.'
Since his very first day as a Warbler, Sebastian had heard stories about the great Blaine Anderson, whose lead vocals had led them to Regionals the previous spring. Sebastian had seen videos of their performances at both Sectionals and Regionals and had to color himself impressed by what he saw. It made him quite regret having missed the guy by a matter of weeks. Admittedly Sebastian's own chances at a solo had to be better without Blaine here to compete against him (not that Sebastian would ever admit to Blaine being better than him, but this guy was clearly the darling of the Warblers), but Sebastian also had other, far less professional, reasons for wanting to meet Blaine Anderson. However, when he asked about the boy that Blaine had done a duet with at Regionals, Sebastian was told briefly about Kurt Hummel; Dalton student and Warbler for five months, Blaine's boyfriend and the sole reason Blaine had left Dalton at the start of the school year. Most guys would probably have taken that as a sign that the boys were in love and to not try and get in between them.
Sebastian was not most guys.
Blaine was already at the Lima Bean when Sebastian got there nearly ten minutes early. He imagined Blaine worrying about being late and appearing rude and showing up fifteen minutes early as a result. Filing the knowledge away for later use, Sebastian grinned as he greeted the shorter boy and led the way to the counter to place their orders. Blaine Anderson, the person, was turning out to be quite different from what Blaine Anderson, the performer, had led Sebastian to expect. Far be it from him to complain, though. This was so much more interesting. There was a certain schoolboy innocence about Blaine, that Sebastian was itching to explore before ultimately stripping it away, layer by layer.
As Sebastian finished his coffee order, he added as an afterthought, completely straight-faced, 'And could I get a shot of Courvoisier with that, please.'
'I- I'm sorry, sir, I don't know what that is,' the young barista stuttered apologetically, and Sebastian barely suppressed a smirk at her look of confusion, while feeling oddly triumphant at the look of incredulity and amusement that crossed Blaine's face.
'Never mind,' Sebastian sighed dramatically. 'Just get me the coffee then.'
'I can't believe you asked for a shot of Courvoisier in your coffee,' Blaine said with a small chuckle as they made their way to a table.
Sebastian grinned, then replied as he sat down, 'I forget how lame this town is. When I lived in Paris I drank it like it was mother's milk.'
'When you lived- Oh, okay. Wow.' Blaine was apparently at a loss for words, clearly impacted by Sebastian's.
'What?' Sebastian asked, his smile wide and feigning ignorance as though he hadn't planned to drop that bit of information in there.
'You're just so... you know, you're out there.' An uncertain smile was playing on Blaine's lips as though he wasn't quite sure what to make of it all.
'And your whole bashful schoolboy thing?' Sebastian responded without missing a beat, figuring he might as well be upfront and see what kind of reaction he got. 'Super hot.'
Blaine's smile faded immediately. 'Look, Sebastian. I have a boyfriend.'
This Sebastian knew, of course. 'Doesn't bother me if it doesn't bother you,' he said truthfully. Quite the opposite, in fact.
'No,' Blaine said. 'I mean, I really care about him.'
'He doesn't need to know,' Sebastian emphasized.
'I'd just never want to mess my thing up with him in any way. He's really great,' Blaine said and Sebastian was about to counter with That's why you don't tell himwhen their conversation was interrupted.
'Who's really great?' Sebastian looked up at the owner of the high-pitched voice, recognizing Kurt from the videos he had watched.
'You!' Blaine cried, his expression caught somewhere between relief and panic. 'We were just talking about you. Sebastian this is Kurt, my boyfriend, who I was just-'
'Got it,' Sebastian cut him off, saving Blaine from his own fluster. The way Blaine was acting like a kid caught with his fingers in the cookie jar, you would think he had done something other than reject Sebastian's every advance. Which had to mean that either Blaine really was faithful to a fault – or he wasn't as uninterested as he made out and was playing hard to get. Sebastian knew which option he preferred.
Kurt shook Sebastian's hand, giving an icy 'Pleasure' before turning to Blaine. 'And how do we know Sebastian?'
'We met at Dalton.' Sebastian saved a still sputtering Blaine from answering. 'I was dying to meet Blaine,' he went on, deciding that if Kurt was going to be all icy and obnoxious, saying we when he meant you, then Sebastian wasn't going to give a damn about flirting with his boyfriend in front of him. 'Those Warblers just won't shut up about him. I didn't think he could live up the hype. But as it turns out...'
'Yes, he's even more impressive in the flesh,' Kurt said as he pulled up a chair and sat next to Blaine, looping one arm around his boyfriend's. Staking his claim.
This was going to be fun.
The moment Sebastian suggested a night out at the local gay bar, Blaine knew it was a bad idea, but it wasn't until he and Kurt actually got there the next night that he realized just how uncomfortable the night was going to be. As they spotted Sebastian across the room at the bar, Kurt murmured just loud enough for Blaine to hear him over the music, 'I really don't like that guy.'
'He's harmless,' Blaine reassured his boyfriend, because while Sebastian talked a good game, he had not actually tried anything, and it wasn't like Blaine was interested.
Kurt didn't say anything but snaked an arm around Blaine's waist as they approached Sebastian. Blaine didn't think anything of the gesture, figuring Kurt simply considered the gay bar a safe place for PDA. Sebastian greeted them with drinks, taking care that Kurt's – as he was the designated driver – was alcohol free. They stayed at the bar for a while, sipping their drinks and chatting idly.
As one song faded into another, Sebastian downed the rest of his drink, before taking Blaine's empty beer bottle from him and placing it on the counter. He patted Blaine's upper arm and gestured with his head towards the dance floor. 'Come on. Let's dance.'
Blaine glanced at Kurt, who was still clutching his half full glass.
'Join us when you're done, Hummel,' Sebastian shrugged as if it really didn't matter to him. 'Unless you think the fun will be too much to handle.' He tugged at Blaine. 'Come on, Blaine. I love this song.'
Blaine opened his mouth in half protest, looking from Sebastian to Kurt, but ended up stumbling after Sebastian who pulled him away by the wrist. The dance floor was not particularly crowded but Blaine still felt Sebastian dancing rather closer than he would have liked. However, Blaine was alone with him for less than half a minute before Kurt joined them, pointedly cutting between his boyfriend and the other boy. Unfazed Sebastian moved to Blaine's other side, so Blaine was sandwiched between him and Kurt, both boys dancing a lot closer than Blaine thought was strictly necessary. Kurt's eyes narrowed at Sebastian.
'Just ignore him,' Blaine said, bringing his hand to Kurt's face and forcing his gaze back on Blaine. 'Dance with me.'
Kurt's face split into a wicked smile then as he grabbed Blaine's hand and spun him around so he was once again facing away from Sebastian. Blaine had eyes only for his boyfriend, but before the song ended Sebastian had edged around them once more, prompting Kurt to spin Blaine around again. This pattern continued into the next song, and the one after that, and it left Blaine feeling rather dizzy, probably not helped by the beer that was starting to take effect.
When the third song ended Blaine withdrew his arms from where they had been curled around Kurt's shoulders. 'I need to use the bathroom,' he said and without uttering another word he left, stalking across the floor through the thin crowd of people.
Two steps into the restroom, Blaine stopped short, momentarily overwhelmed by the smell of it. He scrunched up his nose in disgust at the sight of urinals, for once glad that he couldn't use them, before proceeding to find the stall that looked the least gross, sighing as he sat down. Being desired by more than one person was not half as fun as it sounded in theory. Blaine supposed he should just ask Sebastian to back off, and maybe for Kurt to take it easy with the territory marking, but he really didn't want to upset anyone. And perhaps this was just Sebastian's misguided way of being friendly or having a laugh or whatever, because really, what else was he doing acting like this when Blaine's boyfriend was right there?
Blaine zipped his pants back up, making sure everything was positioned correctly down there, before exiting the stall and washing his hands. As he looked at himself in the mirror it was beyond him why anyone in their right mind would find him attractive, but he supposed the dim lighting of the bar did its part to mask what was clear now in the stark, unflattering light of the bathroom. Blaine had been up since the crack of dawn, rehearsing the musical by himself, going over some of trickiest parts of the script. Then he had had school, followed by glee and the final dress rehearsal for the musical. It occurred to Blaine then that he hadn't had a moment to himself all day, which meant that he had been wearing his binder since seven a.m. No wonder his back ached so much and his face was scrunched up in that pained expression. You were supposed to wear them for a maximum of twelve hours per day and he was well past that by now, he realized looking at his watch.
He frowned briefly at the sight before him and sighed before splashing cold water in his face and fixing a strand of hair that was threatening to come loose. There, that helped some. It didn't take away the urge to rip off the fabric that kept his chest flat, nor did it make the prospect of the night ahead of him any more enjoyable, but it was the difference between looking dead and looking dying.
Out in the bar again, Blaine went for the bar rather than the dance floor. If he was going to make it through this night he deserved some liquid strength. He ordered another beer, downing half of it in one long gulp. He finished the rest of it quickly and he had just set the empty bottle down when he heard a voice behind him and turned to face its owner.
'There you are.' Kurt was half-shouting to make himself heard over the music. 'Have you been over here the entire time?'
'Nope. I've only just come back from the bathroom,' Blaine lied.
'Are you okay?' Kurt stepped closer allowing him to speak in a more normal voice. 'You didn't throw up, did you? You left a bit quickly.'
Blaine forced a smile. 'You know how it is. When you've gotta go, you gotta go.'
Kurt chuckled. 'Okay then. Come, let's find a place to sit.'
'Let's.' Relieved that he wouldn't be tugged back on the dance floor, Blaine's smile was easy this time as he led the way to the booths across the room, where they settled in to an empty one.
Kurt eyed the well-worn plushy seats that were torn in places and the rickety wooden table that could use a good cleaning. 'No wonder people don't want to come out in Lima when this is our gay bar.'
'Or, you know, could be that the place looks like this because business isn't exactly booming,' Blaine said reasonably.
'Semantics.' Kurt rejected the argument with a wave of his hand, focusing his attention on inching closer to Blaine where he sat at the bottom of the "U" formed by the booth.
'Well, no. It's not semantics, Kurt,' Blaine went on, not content to let the thing go. 'More like the...the...' Blaine searched for the word. He could feel the second beer starting to take effect, slugging his mind. 'The cock and the egg argument.'
Kurt snorted. '"The chicken and the egg" is what I think you meant to say there, Blaine,' he said, patting Blaine's leg.
'Yeah, that's what I said...' Blaine trailed off, frowning to himself and then at Kurt, whose expression had hardened as he watched something across the bar. Blaine turned his head to find Sebastian approaching them.
'Ugh, why can't he leave us alone?' Kurt said.
'You can't ask him to sit by himself, Kurt,' Blaine said. 'That's not fair. He's the one that got us in.'
'I know, but why does he have to be so...' Kurt made another sound of frustration, apparently unable to find a suitable word.
'Hi guys.' Sebastian's smile was wide as he greeted them, and he carried a dark drink in his left hand.
Kurt smiled back, but he was doing that squinty thing he sometimes did with his eyes when he was annoyed with someone. 'What's wrong?' Kurt said, faking concern. 'Couldn't find the man of your dreams?'
Sebastian watched Kurt for a moment, an amused sort of smile on his lips, before taking the empty seat on Blaine's side. 'Oh, I've found him alright. Having fun, Blaine?'
'Yeah, loads,' Blaine muttered. 'Excuse me, I need another drink.'
'Get me one too, will you?' Kurt asked as Blaine had moved past him and was on the floor again. Kurt glanced at Sebastian, then at the drink in front of him. 'Rum and Coke.'
'Sure.'
As Blaine made his way back from the bar, taking a few swigs of his beer as he went, he could see Kurt and Sebastian having a conversation and was relieved to find that it looked civil enough.
'Here.' Blaine dropped the drinks down on the table and scooted in beside Kurt.
'Thanks.' Kurt picked up the drink with his right hand and sniffed it for a moment before taking a sip, grimacing as he did. Across the table Sebastian took a swig of his own drink, watching Kurt quietly. Blaine became aware of Kurt's left hand on his thigh, caressing softly. Kurt shifted a bit, turning himself more towards Blaine and blocking Sebastian out of his view. Before Blaine knew it, Kurt had deposited his drink on the table and his mouth was on Blaine's. Blaine yelped a bit in surprise, but kissing back all the same, bringing his hand to cup the side of Kurt's face. When it went on for more than a few seconds, however Blaine pulled back a little, very much aware of Sebastian watching them.
'Come on, Kurt, we can't- mmph.' Blaine's words were cut off by a swift kiss on the lips. 'We're being-' Another kiss and teeth that scraped across his bottom lip. Kurt clearly didn't care who was watching them and whose company they were supposed to keeping.
'Ahem.' Someone across the table cleared their throat meaningfully, but now Kurt's tongue was in Blaine's mouth, and well, Blaine really liked Kurt's tongue.
A demonstrative cough was next, and it was demonstratively ignored.
'So guys... anyone want to go dance again?' Sebastian's voice came. 'Blaine?'
Kurt freed himself from Blaine's lips long enough to offer a dismissive reply – 'You go. We're kind of in the middle of something.' – before resuming work on Blaine's mouth. Sebastian gave a contemptuous laugh and out of the corner of his eye Blaine saw him go off into the crowd.
'That was rude, Kurt.' Blaine giggled and straightened up, repositioning himself from where he had been almost about to slide onto the floor.
'So?' Kurt shrugged and, seeing Blaine's problem, he slid to the back of the booth where they would have more room, tugging Blaine with him. 'He's rude. Besides...' He paused for a moment, his eyes scanning Blaine's face and landing on his kiss-swollen lips. 'As I said, we were in the middle of something.'
That was all the warning Blaine got before Kurt practically pounced on him.
'You're being awfully P about your DA's today,' Blaine giggled again.
Kurt pulled back from where he had been nibbling at Blaine's right earlobe, confusion clear on his face. 'What?' he chuckled out. Well, it had made sense in his head at least, Blaine thought.
'Alright guys.' Blaine and Kurt both looked around to find Sebastian setting down a small tray and settling into the booth once more, taking advantage of the newly created empty space on Blaine's side. 'Time for the real fun.'
Kurt rolled his eyes as he straightened back up, taking in the items Sebastian had brought with him. On the tray were three filled shot glasses, three wedges of lime and a salt pot.
'Body shots!' Sebastian said, smiling widely, and Blaine clapped his hands excitedly. Kurt, however, looked unimpressed.
'Come on, Kurt!' Blaine nudged his boyfriend teasingly. 'I've never done one. It'll be fun.'
'What's the matter, Hummel?' Sebastian grinned. 'Don't know how it's done? I'll show you.' Sebastian slid further down the booth so he was seated right next to Blaine. 'Tilt your head to the side,' Sebastian ordered in a low voice. 'No, other side, genius.' He laughed, pushing gently at Blaine's head until his neck was exposed. It made Blaine think about vampires and he broke into a new fit of giggles at the idea that Sebastian was about to sprout fangs.
'Okay, hold on. No.' Kurt's sharp voice on Blaine's other side made Blaine wince, and he glanced over to find his boyfriend looking like he was about to breathe fire. So he had vampire on one side and a dragon on the other. That could totally be the premise of a TV show or something. 'What the hell do you think you're doing?'
'Oh, come on, Kurt. Don't be like that. We're all friends here. It's all in good fun,' Sebastian assured him. 'Don't be the jealous boyfriend. No one likes that guy.'
Kurt looked to be considering his options, but before he could say yes or no, Sebastian had leant in and licked a stripe from Blaine's collarbone almost all the way up to his ear.
'Tickles,' Blaine shrieked, before clapping a hand to his mouth when he realized how shrill he had sounded.
Sebastian pushed at Blaine's head again so it was as horizontal as it would go while still leaving Blaine relatively comfortable in a sitting position, before taking the salt from the tray and sprinkling it on the skin he had just licked.
'Mouth,' he murmured holding up one of the lime wedges. Blaine opened his mouth wide, prompting Sebastian to laugh at him. 'It's not for you, dummy. Just hold it on your mouth. Like this.' He showed Blaine what he meant before giving the fruit to Blaine to hold. 'Okay, we're ready.'
Blaine saw Sebastian cast Kurt a look that might have been a smirk. Next Sebastian dove in again, licking the salt from Blaine's neck and causing his skin to tingle again. Sebastian emptied one of the shot glasses into his mouth and leaned back in to take the lime from Blaine's mouth with his own. Blaine, however, could not contain himself any longer and burst into laughter, dropping the fruit in the process. It rolled off his lap and onto the floor.
'Sorry, sorry!' Blaine sputtered.
'What is so funny?' Sebastian snapped.
'I have no idea,' Blaine replied honestly, breathless from laughter and biting his lip to keep from starting again at the sight of Sebastian's disappointed face.
'Well done, Blaine.' Kurt patted Blaine's leg approvingly and Blaine thought he detected an edge of amusement to his voice. Blaine turned his head to smile brightly at his boyfriend. 'Let me try now?'
Blaine nodded eagerly. Kurt leaned across the table to grab what he needed. He handed Blaine the lime, tugging at it a bit to make sure it was secure, before planting a soft kiss to each of Blaine's cheeks.
'Now, don't drop it, okay?' he said sternly, but a smile was tugging at the corners of his mouth. Blaine nodded again. 'By the way,' Kurt observed lightly, leaning down to pick the dropped lime up from the floor. 'I believe this was yours.'
He threw the dirt-covered piece of fruit at Sebastian who caught it with a grimace.
'Do you think he hates me for dropping it?' Blaine whispered to Kurt.
'Doubt it,' Kurt said. 'Not that I'd be too upset if he did, to be honest.'.
'But-' Blaine started, but then Kurt was licking his neck the same way Sebastian had, only on his right side instead of his left. Blaine emitted a soft 'uuhh' at the tickling sensation that for some reason didn't leave him fighting the urge to giggle this time. Kurt made quick work of sprinkling the salt on his skin, and then he was licking again, causing Blaine to let out a whimper. It was strange how one person's tongue could feel so different from another's. Kurt emptied the second shot glass and slowly leaned back in for the lime, a smile that was somewhere between affectionate and suggestive playing on his lips. He grabbed the fruit between his teeth and sucked the juice from it, grimacing a little at the taste. He took the shell from his mouth and threw it aside, before going in for a proper kiss, one unhindered by sour fruits. As the kiss deepened, Blaine could taste the lime and the alcohol in Kurt's mouth and it made his head spin. Kurt broke the kiss and licked away a stray bit of lime juice, that had trickled down Blaine's chin, and Blaine looked down to see Kurt's eyelashes fanning against his cheeks in the most beautiful way.
'God, Kurt, you're amazing.' Blaine brought his hand up to caress the hair on the nape of Kurt's neck. 'So amazing. So beautiful. I love you so much,' Blaine babbled.
Kurt finally (too soon) pulled back and Blaine was brought back to the reality of where they were with Sebastian watching them and still one more shot to go.
'Okay, me next, me next! I wanna do you,' Blaine said excitedly to Kurt, whose eyebrows shot up.
'You know,' Kurt mused looking past Blaine at Sebastian as Blaine licked a long stripe on his neck. 'This was a really great idea.'
'God, how much did he actually drink?' Sebastian said as Blaine stumbled out of the bar, Kurt doing his best to keep him steady as they made their way across the parking lot. He sounded part amused, part concerned.
'Too much,' Kurt panted as he fought to keep them walking in a straight line. Sebastian was watching from safe distance. 'Oh, nonono, Blaine.' Kurt placed one hand on the driver's side door to keep Blaine from entering that way. 'You are definitely not driving like this.'
'Yeah, neither are you,' Sebastian said from a few feet away.
'What?' Kurt wheeled around to face the other boy, but taking care to keep his grip on his boyfriend. Sebastian stood calmly by the trunk of Kurt's car, hands in his pockets. He didn't bother with an answer but instead raised an eyebrow at Kurt's question. 'Crap. Well, we'll just-'
'Come on, I'm parked over here.' Sebastian jerked his head to indicate the direction.
'Wait, how are you any better to drive?' Kurt frowned, losing his grip on Blaine when the latter somehow managed to stumble while standing still. Blaine fell to the ground with a thud.
'Ow,' Blaine pouted, sounding more annoyed than hurt.
Kurt offered Blaine a hand, distracted as he was watching Sebastian more than Blaine, a confused look on his face. 'You've been drinking all night too,' he pointed out, pulling uselessly at Blaine. 'Come on, Blaine, you've gotta help me out here.'
'Yeah, I've been drinking,' Sebastian spoke with the air of someone explaining something very simple to a three-year-old. 'Coke. Except one drink when we first got here.'
'Oh.' Kurt lost his grip on his boyfriend once more, and Blaine slumped back to the ground and let out a loud wail. Kurt watched as Sebastian walked over to them, stopping at Blaine's side. 'I thought that had rum in it,' Kurt muttered stupidly.
Sebastian meanwhile had crouched behind Blaine and gripped him under his arms, pulling him effortlessly to his feet. 'Surprise.' Sebastian's tone was flat and mocking.
Kurt crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at the taller boy, who was now holding the intoxicated boy steady, one hand gripping his forearm firmly and the other resting at the small of his back. 'What about the tequila then?' he asked.
'Water,' Sebastian admitted easily.
'Water?' Kurt's eyes bugged at the realization. 'What do you mean "water"? Why the hell would you fake that?'
Sebastian's face was blank as he let a moment pass, leaving the question unanswered.
'Come on,' he said as he began to lead Blaine away from Kurt's car. 'Let's get him in my car. I'll drive him home. I'm going that way anyway.' Sebastian turned to look at Kurt as he caught up with them. 'I'll take you too, I suppose, even though your house is kind of out of my way. I'm nice like that,' he added with a grin.
'Oh yeah, you're a real prince,' Kurt snarled. 'And you can take both of us to my house. I don't trust you alone with him like this.'
'Oh, come on.' Sebastian came to a halt by what was evidently his car. He rolled his eyes, exasperated. 'As if I'd try anything. I'm not that kind of guy.'
'Funny,' Kurt replied coolly. 'I'd have thought that's exactly the kind of guy you were.'
Sebastian gave a theatrical gasp and put a hand to his chest. 'Oh, no. You hurt my feelings.' He rolled his eyes again. 'Fine, I'll take you both to yours. Happy?'
'Extremely.' Kurt gave an exaggerated grimace of a smile.
Cold water splashed across Blaine's face and he became truly sentient to his surroundings for the first time since somewhere between his third beer and the tequila shots. His entire body ached and he wanted more than anything to tear off all his clothes and put on his favorite pajamas, but he was at Kurt's house and that was not an option for several reasons. Blaine sighed. What a night.
Kurt was waiting for him in his bedroom, brandishing a cup of coffee which Blaine accepted gratefully. He sat down on the bed next to Kurt and took a few large gulps, beyond caring that it was scalding his tongue.
'You with me again?' Kurt asked softly.
Blaine took another swig of the coffee and then nodded. 'Yeah.' He chuckled a little. 'Sorry 'bout that. Guess I got a little carried away.' He looked around the room, testing himself, and was relieved to find that his surroundings had mostly stopped spinning. His head felt a lot clearer now and what fogginess was left was probably more from exhaustion than anything.
'Good,' Kurt said as he took the cup from Blaine and put it on the bedside table. 'Then I won't feel like I'm taking advantage when I do this.'
He leaned forward, cupping Blaine's face with both hands as he kissed him. Flashes of their night in the bar ran across Blaine's mind as he kissed back, and he blushed a little when it occurred to him what they must have looked like to other patrons. The kiss deepened, and then suddenly Blaine was lying flat on his back and Kurt was on top of him, still kissing him, growing more and more desperate by the second. Blaine could feel Kurt's growing hardness against his hip as Kurt thrust his hips rhythmically, and somewhere at the back of his mind Blaine was aware that he was panicking but he didn't move away from Kurt's touch.
'I'm ready,' Kurt breathed then, and Blaine became aware of a hand that was starting sneak underneath his shirt. 'I'm comfortable.'
Blaine stilled and he looked wide-eyed into Kurt's darkened ones. 'I- I'm not.'
At these words Kurt froze and he watched Blaine with something akin to confusion. Beneath him, Blaine squirmed, trying to sit up and Kurt moved aside to let him.
'I'm- I'm sorry. I'm not. I'm just- I'm not- not ready. I'm not,' Blaine stammered out.
'It's okay. I'm sorry, I shouldn't've- It's okay, Blaine.' Kurt reached out to touch a reassuring hand to his boyfriend's arm. 'Blaine, you're shaking.'
'What?' Blaine jerked away, moving to stand up. 'Yeah, no, it's fine. I was just- surprised, I guess.'
'I'm sorry,' Kurt repeated, staying on the bed, apparently not trusting that it was safe to move closer. 'I didn't mean to pressure you. I just assumed that you-'
'It's fine,' Blaine croaked, raising his hands before pressing two fingers to either temple. He sighed. 'I have to go.'
As Blaine backed away and turned to leave through the open bedroom door, Kurt scrambled to get off the bed. 'What? No, Blaine, you can't. I'm sorry, okay? I won't try anything again. You just can't leave. You don't have a car or anything.'
'It doesn't matter. I'll manage.' Blaine continued down the dark hall without looking back. 'I just can't be here right now.'
'Please, Blaine. Just stop, you're freaking me out.' Kurt's voice was high-pitched and frantic as he followed Blaine downstairs. 'You can sleep on the couch. We don't even have to talk, just- Blaine!'
But Blaine was already out of the door and disappearing into the dark night.