Part two

October

'Lesbian.'

'Dyke.'

'Tranny.'

'It.'

Everyone knows.

The school is split into three. The hateful people who find Blaine disgusting and have no problem sharing this openly and frequently. Those who are neutral or positive and look uncomfortable with some of the words that are hurled at Blaine, but who don't want to stand up for Blaine in public. And then there are those who think the whole thing is one big joke that still isn't showing any signs of getting old for them.

Blaine can't go anywhere without getting stared at. It isn't everyone all the time – people do still have their own lives after all – but every time he walks down a hallway invariably someone will turn their head and give him a Look.

You're disgusting.

You're a freak.

You're fooling no one.

At least once a day he walks down a hallway, or into a classroom, or past a lunch table, and overhears someone talking about him in hushed tones or interrupting their conversation to yell something offensive at him.

'Yeah, she thinks she's a guy or something,' he hears one classmate whisper to two others one day, when they're sitting in Math waiting for the teacher who is running late.

'Gross,' one boy says.

'Weird,' says another.

And Blaine doesn't say anything. He never says anything.

Of course everyone takes good care not to say anything in front of the teachers or to otherwise do anything that's strictly against regulations, so even if Blaine wanted to complain to the faculty he would have no leg to stand on. People are allowed to talk amongst themselves after all (and who says they're even talking about Blaine anyway?) and Blaine can't force other people to be friends with him. He's an outcast and there's nothing the teachers can do about that. Assuming they would even want to.

The teachers are professional enough not to say anything to him directly, but Blaine is sure that at least some of them agree with many of the sentiments thrown around between the students. Certainly some of them struggle with the pronouns sometimes, and it hurts even worse coming from the teachers who are supposed to set an example for the kids. The teacher in question will always correct themselves, and that at least is something, but to Blaine the damage is sort of already done at that point. It always takes him at least a couple of hours to pick himself up from an incident like that, and no amount of backtracking ever changes that.

Another time Blaine is at his locker when he hears a girl giggling nearby.

'Can you see her boobs? I know they're there. I asked someone who was in gym with her last year. She's with the guys this year, you know.'

Blaine stiffens in his search for a particular book and stares blankly into the back of his locker. He can't let them know he's bothered. Can't show weakness.

'Really?' another girl says, and she doesn't bother to hide her snickering. 'Does she shower with them too?'

'I bet that'd be heaven for the guys,' the first girl says.

'Ew, no,' a third girl chimes in. 'She probably doesn't shave and stuff. You know, because she's "a guy".' Blaine doesn't need to turn around to see the air quotes. 'Anyway, I bet she gets to use the private shower or something,' she goes on, talking like she's obviously much cleverer than the rest of them. 'Personally I say this whole thing is political correctness gone mad.'

'Hey.' Blaine jumps slightly at the sound of Sara's voice next to him. 'You okay?'

'Peachy,' Blaine says stiffly as he slams his locker shut. He never found that book he needed. He leans against the locker and lets out a soft sigh. A little way down the hall he notices three girls staring at him and Sara, and he realizes these must be the girls he overheard just now. Sara follows Blaine's gaze, and her face screws up in annoyance.

'The fuck are you staring at?' she shouts at them, glaring at them until they shuffle off, and under normal circumstances (who's he kidding? This is normal now) Blaine would have scolded her for swearing, but right now he's just so glad to have a friend on his side. She and Tyler are the only real allies he has in this entire, stupid school. They are the only ones who treats him like a normal person, and they stand up for him even when Blaine himself doesn't think it's worth it.

Blaine suddenly notices that Sara is looking at him and biting her lip. His stomach drops. He knows that look, and it has never been followed by anything good.

'What?' Blaine asks. Sara swallows before pointing over her shoulder, and Blaine looks behind her to see her older brother standing there, some fifteen feet away, watching them. 'I don't understand.'

'He's there to make sure I say what I'm supposed to say,' Sara explains, and Blaine doesn't like the resignation in her voice. It's not like her.

'Which is?'

Sara averts her eyes, and mumbles her response to Blaine's shoulder. 'I can't be friends with you anymore.'

'What?' Blaine's voice is quiet and he stares, eyes wide and disbelieving. 'What?' he repeats, firmer this time, angrier.

Sara meets his eyes again and she almost looks frightened. 'I'm so sorry, my parents won't let me. They think you're a bad influence.'

'Oh.' Blaine doesn't know what else to say.

'I tried to tell them, there's nothing wrong with you, but they just- They won't have it. As soon as my idiot brother -' Sara raises her voice meaningfully and sends her brother a quick, dirty look over shoulder. '- told them what's going on, they said I wasn't allowed to see you anymore.'

'Wow, that's...' Blaine tries to keep his composure as he feels his throat constrict.

'I'm really sorry.' Sara's eyes are shining with unshed tears.

'So this is why we always hang out at my house lately,' Blaine says evenly, ignoring her apology for fear letting his emotions get the best of him. He can not be crying in the middle of a school hallway. He will not. 'You never told them.'

Sara shakes her head sadly. 'You know how my dad flipped his shit when I told them I'm gay. He was only just starting to come around. If I'd told my parents about you... I couldn't bear the thought of the things he might say, maybe even to your face. You don't need to hear that kind of shit.'

'So all this time... when you've mentioned me to your parents... you've used...'

Sara nods and bites her lip again. 'I'm sorry. Do you hate me?'

Blaine sighs. No, he doesn't. He can't make the words come out though, so he just shakes his head. They stand in silence for a moment until Sara's brother clears his throat.

'I have to go,' she says, and when Blaine nods, he doesn't look at her. Can't look at her. 'I really hate this.'

'I know,' Blaine breathes out and forces himself to look at her. 'Me too.'

'This isn't forever, okay?' Sara insists, furious tears in her eyes. 'I will keep trying, I promise. I'll make them listen.'

She pulls him into a tight hug then, but Blaine breaks it off quickly.

'Please, just go,' he begs her. He doesn't think he can take much more of this. He just wants it to be over now.

'Okay, I'll just-' She takes a small step back. 'I'll see you around, I guess.'

'Yeah.' Just go.

'You're still my best friend.'

'I know.' Please.

'Bye,' she chokes out before she finally turns to leave, shoving angrily at her brother when she passes him.

As Blaine watches the best friend he's ever had walk away from him, maybe forever, his chest aches with hurt and irrational shame, but he refuses to be broken. For the first time he's really properly angry at the world for the way it treats him, for the way it tries to make him believe that he's less than everyone else, when he knows he isn't. He slams his fist furiously against the lockers, taking sick pleasure in the pain that sears through his hand, and when he departs down the hall, the opposite direction from Sara, he wonders bitterly how much more he is going to have to take before the world starts to give a crap about him.

Of course it had to be a pool number.

Blaine sat in a plastic chair at the far end of the pool, watching as New Directions and the entire swim team rehearsed the proposal number for Miss Pillsbury. Kurt had asked Blaine if he wouldn't prefer to go home early rather than stay and torture himself by watching his teammates do what he couldn't (tank tops or not, it would be obvious and raise questions if Blaine wore a binder to the pool), but in a moment of what Blaine could only describe as temporary insanity, he had insisted that it would be fun to watch, and besides they had carpooled this morning, so he kind of needed Kurt for the ride home.

('That's all I am to you?' Kurt had asked, feigning hurt. 'A chauffeur?' and Blaine had grinned and replied, 'If chauffeur means "the person I love more than anything and really really enjoy seeing naked," then yes, that's all you are.' Kurt's cheeks had been slightly pink as he walked off to get changed a moment later.)

So Blaine sat now fully clothed and trying to keep his focus on the homework in front of him, but it was difficult to concentrate with all the noise, and he couldn't help looking up every now and then. Every time he did so, as much as he tried to detach himself and simply admire the way this elaborate number was coming together, he couldn't stop the sharp pang of bitterness at what he couldn't have just yet.

It was funny how the things Blaine couldn't do frustrated him infinitely more now than they had a mere month ago. He could only suppose that it was the prospect of top surgery that was making the difference. Most of the immediate joy of setting a date had worn off now nearly two weeks later, and while Blaine was still happy that it was happening, he had also eventually had to acknowledge that it wasn't happeningnow. Nothing was changing just yet and he still had over four months of waiting to do, living as he had done for years. He was so close – and yet not there at all.

When the rehearsal finished and everyone began to file out and into the changing rooms, Blaine smiled at them and offered complimentary words about the number, but once they had all left and the place was empty and silent, Blaine sat back in his chair, letting out a long sigh of relief. He sat in thought for a while, eyeing the water in the pool as though it had personally offended him, before he finally gathered his things and headed outside to wait for Kurt.

The cool January wind felt sharp on his face, and it was only a few minutes before Blaine was shivering with cold. He could easily step inside, of course, but the hours spent at the pool had left him in a bad mood, and if he was honest, he kind of welcomed the distraction now, uncomfortable as it was.

The first people out were a group of guys, then a group of girls from the swim team, who all passed him like he was air, and then most of the New Directions guys who waved bye to Blaine but didn't stop to chat.

'Oh, hey man,' Mike said as they passed. 'Kurt said to tell you he's nearly done.'

Blaine grinned in response, teeth chattering a little. 'Half an hour more it is then.'

A couple of minutes later Blaine heard the front door behind him open again.

'Hey,' Tina's soft voice greeted him.

'Hey,' Blaine called back automatically, looking around to see her and Sugar coming down the stairs. Tina, however, came to a halt when she reached Blaine's step, and she sat down next to him. Sugar stopped and turned a few steps further down, and Blaine thought he saw the two of them exchange a look. He got the sudden, uncomfortable feeling that they had been talking about him minutes before.

'Are you okay?' Tina asked. 'Why are you not in the number with us?'

'No reason,' Blaine said quickly. Too quickly.

'Is this, like, a protest against marriage or something?' Sugar asked, and Blaine looked at her in confusion.

'What?'

'You know, because you can't,' she explained with a small shrug. 'Get married, I mean.'

'What, no. Not at all,' Blaine said feeling slightly appalled at the notion. 'I think it's a lovely idea, and I'm sure Miss Pillsbury's gonna love it.'

'See?' Tina said to Sugar. 'I told you he was far too romantic for that.' Blaine looked around quickly at Tina at the confirmation that, yes, they had in fact been discussing his decision to not participate in the proposal number. He felt himself begin to sweat despite the cold, and he fought to keep his expression reasonably neutral as Tina turned to him. 'So what is it?'

'N-nothing. I just...can't.' Blaine felt his cheeks redden, and hoped that the girls thought it was from the cold. Why hadn't he thought to come up with a proper excuse? Just because Mr. Schue was so stressed about the whole thing that he readily accepted Blaine's notice that he wouldn't be participating with a distracted Sure, we have enough people anyway, didn't mean that everyone else wasn't going to realize that something more was going on.

'What?' Tina said lightly, teasing him. 'Can't you swim? Afraid of the water?'

Blaine snorted despite himself. 'No, of course I can swim.' Although come to think of it, when was the last time he had gone swimming? Blaine couldn't even remember. 'I just don't.'

'Why?' Sugar blurted, her tone almost demanding. Blaine didn't reply. He didn't even look at them. He just stared straight ahead at the parked cars, focusing on trying to make out what the license plates said, but he felt two pairs of eyes watching him closely, and he wished the girls would just let it go.

'It's because you're embarrassed, isn't it?' Tina said quietly after a while.

Blaine whipped his head around again, and his voice was rather higher than he would have liked when he responded. 'What? What makes you say that?'

Tina just shrugged. 'Nothing really. But guys can feel self conscious too, can't they?' She looked at Sugar who nodded in eager agreement.

'Yeah, maybe you have a funny mole or something. Or weird nipples. Or- or a thirdnipple. Or-'

'Yes, thank you, Sugar,' Tina cut her off sharply, rolling her eyes a little. 'We get it.'

'Sorry.' Sugar shuffled her feet and pouted a little. 'Was just trying to help.'

When they both fell quiet and looked at him expectantly, Blaine merely looked back and forth between them, sputtering helplessly with no idea what to say.

'Is it something really private?' Tina asked finally, and Blaine let out a long breath of relief, thankful that Tina knew him well enough (both being juniors, they shared a number of classes, and she always seemed to be around whenever Blaine hung out with Mike, so they had had a few chances to bond) to know not to keep pushing.

'Well, I don't wanna seem rude,' he said a little stiffly. 'But yeah. It kinda is.'

'Okay then. We'll stop pestering you.' Tina stood up and gestured to Sugar. 'Come on, we're leaving.'

'But- ow,' Sugar protested when Tina practically hauled her away by the arm. She clearly wasn't happy to leave without a scoop.

'See you tomorrow,' Tina called over her shoulder, winking at Blaine who sent her a thankful smile. He watched them go, his adrenaline still rushing, and it took him a while to calm down properly. After a minute or two he felt a familiar hand on his shoulder.

'Thanks for waiting,' Kurt said as Blaine stood. 'Did I take forever?'

Blaine forced a smile. 'It's fine, Kurt.'

As they walked to Kurt's car, the conversation between them was stilted, Blaine barely hearing what Kurt was saying about the other boys' lack of moisturizing routine.

'You okay?' Kurt asked once they were in the car and headed home. 'Was it horrible having to sit and watch?'

'It was fine,' Blaine said, looking out of the window, but then he caught his own dour tones and looked around at Kurt, faking cheer when he continued. 'You guys were all really good. It looked amazing.'

Kurt took his eyes off the road for half a second to level Blaine with a stern look. 'Blaine.'

Blaine crossed his arms in front of his chest and sighed heavily. 'Tina and Sugar wanted to know why I didn't join in today.'

'Oh,' Kurt said and Blaine thought he seemed oddly relieved. 'Yeah, the guys asked about it too.'

'Great.' Blaine's jaw tightened, and he looked out of the window at the passing houses. 'People talking about me behind my back now. Just fantastic.'

'Don't exaggerate, Blaine.' There was a note of impatience in Kurt's voice. 'They were simply asking if you were okay. Take it as a good thing. It just means they care.'

'Doesn't mean I want to tell them anything,' Blaine muttered.

'Did I say you should?' Kurt snapped tiredly, and Blaine looked around at him in surprise. 'Why are you making such a big deal?'

'Because-' Blaine cut himself off and shook his head. 'Doesn't matter.'

Ten seconds of heavy silence followed until Kurt rounded a corner and gave a soft sigh. 'Look, I'm sorry for snapping. I just have kind of a lot on my mind at the moment. I'm still waiting to hear about my NYADA application and I have no idea whether I'm bought or sold and it's driving me a little crazy.'

'I know. You're right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't bother you with my problems.'

'What, no. I want you to. That's not what I meant. Just, do you think maybe you're freaking out over nothing?' Kurt asked gently. 'I doubt anyone's mind goes "Oh, he's not getting in the pool with us. I bet he has boobs."' Blaine winced, and Kurt's cheeks pinked a little. 'Sorry.'

'It's fine, Kurt,' Blaine forced out. 'I know what you meant, and let's just change the subject, okay? Tell me about NYADA. When's the letter supposed to come?'

The rest of the drive home went by with Kurt unloading his worries about NYADA, the lack of a letter and the uncertainty about whether that was a bad sign or not. Meanwhile as Blaine listened and offered supportive comments, he mused to himself that however wonderful Kurt had been in all this (and Blaine really did appreciate everything, including how much it must have taken for Kurt to put aside the betrayal of Blaine lying to him for so long, and to choose to stay and support Blaine), there were still things that Kurt just didn't get.

Blaine knew that there had been a time when Kurt had not been out and proud, when bullies had terrorized him daily and when he had had few friends. However, most of that stuff had died down now, and the rest of it Kurt just didn't let get to him anymore. Kurt was the kind of person who made his past his past and kept looking forward – to New York and NYADA and Broadway, and to his and Blaine's future together. So if Kurt couldn't easily understand why it agitated Blaine when their friends prodded and asked questions that Blaine couldn't or refused to answer, it was understandable enough. Kurt didn't know what it was to not be proud of who you were.

And Blaine didn't begrudge him that, but neither could he forget. Blaine couldn't simply let his past be his past when it was still so intertwined with who he was now. He couldn't just be proud of everything he was. He couldn't forget what had happened to him the last time he had tried.

If Blaine thought Proposal Week was his least favorite so far in glee club, Michael Week was looking to be the complete opposite. Blaine had thrown himself into it with everything he had, eager to forget all about the previous week. This was something he could do, and do well.

As he skipped into the kitchen early Friday morning, he felt unusually refreshed, and he hummed the melody to Wanna Be Startin' Something to himself as he made breakfast, thinking of later that day when he would be working on a performance of it with the rest of the group. He had just waved his mother out the door and was enjoying the last quiet minutes of his morning before he had to leave for school, when his phone buzzed with an incoming call. Blaine's mouth fell open in surprise.

'Sebastian?' he greeted his quasi-friend cautiously.

Sebastian's greeting, meanwhile, was nothing if not cheerful. 'Hey, Blaine! So. I had a question for you.'

'Okay... What is it?' Blaine asked, a little wary, but mostly just confused.

'Red wine. Blazer piping. Any tips?'

'Huh?' Had Blaine misheard or had Sebastian really just asked him for tips about red wine stains? After not contacting Blaine at all for three weeks and ignoring Blaine's numerous texts asking if everything was okay?

'I mean how do I get the stain out?' Sebastian elaborated calmly, which did nothing to ease Blaine's confusion. Blaine didn't even attempt to offer an answer to Sebastian's question (club soda?), and how was he supposed to be an expert on that anyway? Sebastian simply chuckled at Blaine's silence. 'What's wrong?'

'Just, it's been a while,' Blaine managed.

'Aw, miss me?' Sebastian said, the smirk evident in his voice, and Blaine deliberately didn't answer this question either, partly because he wasn't sure what the honest answer would be exactly. Had he missed Sebastian's incessant calls and texts and shameless flirting? Not really, but the sudden silence was a little disconcerting when he didn't know what it meant. Much as Blaine didn't particularly like Sebastian, he liked the idea of being hated by him – or anyone really – even less.

'I...' Blaine hesitated before deciding that he may as well not dance around the issue. 'You're not pissed at me?'

'For what, Blaine?' Sebastian asked lightly – curious, as though he couldn't imagine what Blaine was talking about.

Blaine worried his lip for a few seconds. 'New Year's Eve.'

'Oh. I don't even remember that night.'

'I see. So why the radio silence for three weeks?' Blaine asked, deciding to ignore the obvious lie (Sebastian had not been that drunk).

'Oh, you know...' Sebastian breathed out, his tone conversational. 'Busy busy. Preparing for Regionals. Five weeks til we crush you.'

'Oh, ha ha, keep dreaming,' Blaine shot back, quietly relieved that this was the turn the conversation had taken. 'We won our Sectionals with Michael and we'll take Regionals too.'

'You're doing Michael for Regionals?' Sebastian asked, sounding politely interested. 'Jackson?'

'Yeah. Or I mean probably. A lot of us want to do it.'

'And you?'

'I think it's a great idea,' Blaine responded without hesitation, getting excited. 'I mean, there's such a rich catalogue to choose from, isn't there? And plenty that fits in "inspiration" theme. It's perfect.'

'Wow, Blaine.' Sebastian sounded amused. 'You're really into this, aren't you?'

True, Blaine was gushing a bit, and maybe he was kind of disproportionately excited, but after last week's low, he was milking this week's high for all its worth. Blaine was also honestly relieved that Sebastian was still speaking to him after the things Cooper had said to him, so maybe he was being overly nice today. And actually... was it Blaine's imagination or had Sebastian toned down the flirting? Had he even said one inappropriate thing this entire conversation? Huh. Maybe Blaine should have just put his foot down sooner, and they could have been having normal, friendly conversations this entire time.

'Blaine?'

'Huh?' Blaine was jolted out of his thoughts. 'Yes, I am. It'll be great!'

'So have you come up with any song ideas yet?'

'Oh, yes. Plenty!' Blaine exclaimed excitedly. 'Hang on, I have a whole list here on my phone.'

Maybe there was still a chance they could keep this friendship thing going. Sebastianwas a Warbler after all. And that counted for something.

Later that day Blaine led the New Directions through their first big number of the week, and he felt wonderfully like he could fly. For the few minutes the song lasted he could barely even remember what he had been so upset about the week before.

'Looks like someone's at the top of their game,' Tina said, coming up to him in the auditorium, when the number was done. She smiled carefully at him.

'Thanks,' Blaine puffed out, still a little out of breath from the performance. He was pretty sure the grin on his face was big and stupid-looking. 'Yeah, I feel good. Last week was just a... bad moment.'

'So you're fine?' Tina asked with just a hint of skepticism in her voice.

'Yeah. Never been better,' Blaine said truthfully. 'Honest. You shouldn't be worried.'

'So, what, does that mean we're all still going to have to fight you for solos then?'

'I- Yeah?' Blaine's smile faltered for half a second, unsure if Tina was chastising him for singing too much, but then he caught the teasing glint in her eye and grinned. 'You bet.'

'Good. I'll look forward to it,' she said, winking at him, before she turned and skipped off.

'What was that about?'

Blaine turned around at the sound of Kurt's voice approaching him from behind, and he was again taken aback by his boyfriend in that leather outfit that should have been ridiculous but instead was just insanely hot. He stared for a moment, completely forgetting that Kurt had asked a question, until Kurt gestured towards Tina who was now chatting happily with Mike at the other end of the stage. Blaine shook himself out of it.

'Oh, just Tina making absolutely sure I'm okay,' he replied lightly, prompting Kurt to arch his eyebrows and give Blaine a look that said Well, you've certainly changed your tune. Blaine grinned sheepishly. 'You were right. Again. I shouldn't be upset that people show concern. In a way it's exactly what I've wanted since I came here, isn't it?' When Kurt cocked his head and looked questioningly at him, Blaine went on, explaining, 'To be Blaine, their friend, rather just "Blaine, that guy who's Kurt's boyfriend."'

'I see,' Kurt said, taking a step closer and reaching to fix a stray piece of hair. His voice was low and teasing as he continued. 'So what you're saying is... I was right, and you were wrong.'

Blaine rolled his eyes but felt a smile tugging at his lips. 'Yeah yeah, rub it in, why don't you. I thought we already established that. There's no need to keep a tally.'

Kurt's reply was prompt and bright as he made to follow the rest of the New Directions off the stage, tugging Blaine with him. 'I know. Because I'm always right.'

Blaine snorted, jogging a little to catch up with Kurt. 'You're ridiculous. You're worse than Cooper, you know.'

'I'll just take that as a compliment,' Kurt said airily.

Blaine took Kurt's hand in his, taking advantage of the few seconds they had before they left the safety of the auditorium for the crowded hallways and squeezing lightly. 'Mm, you should,' he hummed, and though they were mostly joking around, he meant it too.

After glee club that day a group of them was still so fired up and excited about doing Michael Jackson music that they decided to head to the Lima Bean and share stories and memories. Except Rachel, who apparently just went for the company and the coffee, because she soon confessed to not really "getting" Michael Jackson, prompting all of them to stare at her in disbelief.

'Okay, but just, since you guys are so jazzed about him,' Rachel said once they had finished chastising her. 'I think it's a good idea for Regionals.'

'That might not be the best idea,' a voice said, and they all looked up to see Sebastian approaching them, carrying a cup of coffee and smiling widely. 'Hey, Blaine. Hello, everyone else.'

'Does he live here or something?' Kurt exclaimed next to Blaine, not bothering to hide his dislike. 'Seriously, you are always here.'

'Why don't you think that's a good idea?' Artie asked, wisely cutting Kurt off.

'Because we're doing MJ for Regionals,' Sebastian said, and Blaine's mouth fell open, because what? 'You see, the Warblers drew first positions, so as soon as I heard what your plan was, I changed our setlist accordingly.'

Blaine stared. Had this been Sebastian's plan all along when he called this morning? Figure out what New Directions were up to and then sabotage it? God, Blaine was sostupid.

'I'm sorry, h-how did you hear?' Rachel managed to ask through her disbelief.

'Blaine told me this morning,' Sebastian said, gesturing at Blaine who carefully avoided his teammates' eyes when they turned their heads to glare at him. He had the sinking feeling that he may have just lost any and all trust he had gained from the New Directions since joining them. 'I just called for a tip on how to get red wine out of my blazer piping and he would not stop going on about it.'

'I may have mentioned it,' Blaine admitted. He had gone on about it a lot. Not likethat though. Not the way Kurt and the others were looking at him now. He had meant no harm.

As the conversation continued, and Sebastian went on to insult both Kurt and Santana in a most crude and unimaginative way, Blaine felt the last walls of denial crumble; the walls he had built up around Sebastian since the day they met, and Blaine had trusted him implicitly simply because he was a Warbler, and Warblers were Good People. Meanwhile Sebastian had seen right through Blaine and played him for the trusting, excitable fool he was.

When Sebastian left, following his announcement that he was now captain of the Warblers and tired of playing nice, Blaine excused himself and hurried after him before his teammates could round on him. He had to hear what Sebastian had to say for himself.

'Sebastian!' Blaine called, running to catch up with him in the parking lot. 'Sebastian, stop.'

Sebastian turned finally and stood calmly in front of Blaine. 'What?' he asked, clearly not actually interested in the question. It struck Blaine how different Sebastian seemed to the boy Blaine had spoken to that very morning.

'I just- I thought you said you weren't angry with me?'

'I'm not,' Sebastian replied, but his face was impassive and Blaine couldn't tell if he meant it or not.

'Then why?'

'Why what?'

'Why would you do something like that?' Blaine demanded, allowing his hurt to show. Sebastian watched him with that familiar amused smirk.

'It's a competition, Blaine,' he said calmly, rolling his eyes, before turning to leave and calling over his shoulder, 'Stop acting like I killed someone.'

Blaine watched Sebastian go, and all at once he felt a lot more sad and empty than he did angry. He may have transferred to a different school and show choir, but being a Warbler was still a huge part of Blaine. Sebastian hadn't been completely wrong when he had declared "Once a Warbler, always a Warbler" on the day Blaine had first met him. Not as far as allegiance went – Blaine was in New Directions now, and his loyalties were with them – but being a Warbler had meant something to Blaine, and that hadn't changed just because he had left Dalton.

There were certain principles every Warbler lived by, because winning wasn't worth it without them. Honor. Discipline. Decency. Fair play. Or at least that was how it used to be. Until Sebastian. Sebastian who didn't play by anyone's rules except his own. Of course Sebastian was just one person, but he was apparently captain now, and Blaine couldn't help feeling like he was changing the fundamentals of what it meant to be a Warbler, which felt almost worse than the specifics of what he had done to Blaine and the New Directions.

True, Sebastian might not have taken anyone's life, Blaine thought, but that didn't mean that nothing or no one had died today.