Savannah Pov

Self-acceptance week.

Great. As I if I didn't already have enough to deal with. Usually I would be really excited about these next few weeks' lesson.

I'm not the most emotionally secure person. I mean, before I got pregnant, I was comfortable in my body, and I don't really have acne, or messy hair or anything. But I am very sensitive, and I talk too much. I annoy people sometimes, and I can be mean unintentionally when I’m in a bad mood and I take it out on other people.

One of my biggest insecurities, was totally called out by Santana in class today, when she was telling every member of the glee club what she thinks we would change about ourselves; she said that she was sure that I would get a boob job to cure my 'flat chested problem!'

I literally started crying, and Quinn put an encouraging hand on my shoulder. I don't know why in the world I cried. I had accepted that about myself, and whenever other girls mentioned it, I never got upset over it. So why did I cry…

"Your hormones are just all out of whack right now. It's normal." Quinn whispered to me.

I wiped my eyes, and then looked at Mr. Schue who was looking directly at me.

'Are you okay?' he mouthed inaudibly.

I nodded just a little and hopefully it was convincing. Because it was a lie. I am far from all right.

"Look," Santana was still talking, and I tried to push aside my emotions and focus on Glee club. "Maybe Rachel's fine with having an enormous beak. Maybe she needs it to crack hard seeds. All I’m saying is, if you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see, you should change it!"

Mr. Schue was not happy with what Santana was saying. He said that the thing that we most want to change about ourselves is the most interesting part of us.

Not for me.

Pregnant.

That doesn't make me interesting.

And neither does having no boobs.

This week was gonna be hard for me.

Everyone got up to disperse out of glee club, and I was the last to be leaving.

“Hey Savannah, can you hand back for a sec?” Mr. Schue asked, leaning on the piano.

Great...

Thanks to Quinn, he knows about my..... situation.

“Sure.” I shrugged, and walked to stand in front of him.

“Are you doing alright?” He asked, putting an encouraging hand on my shoulder.

“I'm ok.” I answered emotionlessly. He knows it's a lie.

“Look, Savannah, I don't want to pry, or be insensitive or anything, but I care about all of you kids. You know that right?”

I nodded.

“Well, I was wondering if you had told your parent's yet.” He said with very big and trusting eyes.

I just looked at the piano, and shook my head. “No.” I mumbled.

He took a breath. “Ok, I know that it's not my business, but.... you are starting to show. How long has it been?”

I reached to wipe the tear that formed in my eye as it threatened to fall down my cheek.

“Hey, Savannah, don't cry. I didn't mean to upset you.”

“It's not your fault. It's just.... It’s been more than three months now, and.. It's getting harder and harder to hide it, and I haven't even told Blaine yet, and-”

“Blaine? Who's Blaine?” Mr. Schue chimed in.

Oh that’s right, he thinks Puck did this.

I wanted to chuckle.

“Oh. Uhm, Blaine Anderson. He's in the Warblers with Kurt. The lead soloist. You shook hands with him at Sectionals.”

Mr. Schue looked like he'd just seen a space monkey or something.

“Wait, isn't he gay?”

“Yeah.” I answered in a breath. This does sound kind of ridiculous talking about it aloud.

It was quiet for a minute.

“Savannah, if it's been that long, I really think it's time to tell someone. Would you be willing to talk to Ms. Pillsbury? Maybe she can help you tell your parents.” He asked with a questioning tone.

I just clutched my binder close and over my……... stomach bump.

I sighed. I know that he is right. I already have no clothes that fit, and I have to wait for my hundred dollar clothing allowance from my dad that I only get 4 times a year for new clothes because my jeans won't button, and my shirts are all too tight. I really do need to tell my parents.

And Blaine.

But that's not what I told Mr. Schue.

“I can't.”

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It was Tuesday afternoon and I should be home cleaning up my room before my mom chews me a new one, but I was more interested in avoiding home right now, and distracting myself. Glee club this week was forcing me to think about one of my biggest problems right now.

Being pregnant.

And I'd rather not think about that. I'd much rather focus on my biology homework, (which I actually am really bad at.) but hey, all the more reason to study right?

Yay for avoidance!

I was sitting in the Lima bean, book open, and irritated that none of the information made any sense, waiting for Kurt. I finished my Biology assignment, though 75% of the answers are probably wrong. But I had been rereading the chapter over and over again when I heard him.

"She's getting a nose job!?" Kurt yelled into the phone as he made his way over to my table!

Word traveled fast.

Well, maybe not. Kurt and Finn do live together.

As I snickered, Kurt spotted me, and came to sit down.

Covering the microphone of his cell phone, Kurt turned to me and whispered, "Oh my god! Mr. Schue should make Finn wear a bright sign on his back at all times that says, 'Caution! Steer clear when in motion.'" I hit the table with my fists I was laughing so hard!

"That wasn't even a joke! His dancing is HAZARDOUS!" Kurt whisper shouted.

"I heard that!" Finn yelled from the device.

I snickered! Finn was a terrible dancer, but I would never make fun of him for it. Not to his face. I can't dance either. Unless there is very VERY specific choreography!

I blame Mr. Schue. Rachel wouldn't have gotten hurt if we didn't have booty camp. And believe me, booty camp all this week had not been anything to look forward to. My barf reflex still had not gone away, and I can't handle all of this jumping around. It's definitely not helping me.

Kurt sighed as he wrapped up his phone conversation with his brother, and after saying goodbye, he hung up. "Poor Rachel. As if her nose isn't already enormous as it is."

I choked a bit on my biscotti with another laugh.

I probably shouldn't have laughed. She was willing to get a nose job because she wanted to be prettier.

"So, how was Glee?"

I just shrugged. "It was fine. Santana being her usual bitchy self. She made me cry, but it wasn't really me crying. Quinn just said that it was my hormones going all wacky. Either way, I ditched booty camp. Mr. Schue is gonna be on my ass about it tomorrow, but I had to duck out early today because I had an essay to research for in the library, and I didn't feel like going home."

"You sure it wasn't because you just didn't feel like dancing?" Kurt pointed.

I rolled my eyes and sipped my coffee, and then when I looked back to Kurt, he was biting his lip. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Kurt just sighed, and then came the inevitable, and I knew it was coming. "So…"

"Don't Kurt." I said quickly and grabbed my coffee. As I was ready to take another long sip though, he lowered my cup and took it.

"What is this!?" I said raising my arms in protest.

"Look, I know I said I wouldn't be on your case about it like everyone else, but I feel like a rotten friend by staying silent. I’m not helping you by saying nothing!" He said.

He's right, and I know he is right. Everyone is right, which they have made VERY CLEAR OVER THE LAST MONTH.

"Ok fine! But can I have my coffee back please!" I said reaching for the cup.

"Actually, I was online last night and I read that you shouldn't have coffee or caffeine when you're pregnant, so, I'll be keeping this."

I scoffed. "Oh my god! Are you freaking serious Kurt?"

“Dead serious. Sorry. I’m looking out for my boyfriend’s kid, and he can’t do it himself since you refuse to tell him. “

Great. Now Kurt is being as frustrating as everyone else.

And no coffee anymore!?

This BLOWS!

"Back on subject. You have to tell your parents. I can't keep NOT bugging you about it! It's time. It has been what? 3 months now!"

I sighed dramatically loud. "3 and a half. And I know! Geez Kurt! I know! All anyone ever does anymore is tell me that. You need to tell your parents! You need to tell Blaine! You need to go to the doctor! You need to stop skipping meals. You need to stop avoiding the questions! I freaking know!"

My god, what is wrong with me. This is my best friend that I am lashing out at. I know that he is only trying to help me, and I know that he cares. I even know that his dad is giving him tons of crap about him not being on my case about 'my situation' like all of my other friends are doing. I shouldn't be yelling at him.

A look of understanding stayed on his face, but I knew that I crossed a line. "You don't need to yell at me Savannah! I’m just tired of lying about this. Not only am I lying to my boyfriend-"

"I'm sorry." I cut him off, and he knew that I meant the apology, because he put a hand on my shoulder. "I'm just really…. I've been really-"

"Mood swingy?!" he interrupted me, and then he smiled. "I told you, I've been reading."

I rolled my eyes. Ever since his dad got him those sex pamphlets, he's been a freaking information station.

"Thank you Einstein."

He smiled in response, and swigged my drink again. "This is a good coffee by the way."

"I KNOW!" I said pointedly to him.

I am not gonna last with this 'not being able to drink coffee' thing. Coffee was my vice. Seriously! I needed coffee for my sanity.

"What kind is this?" He asked.

"It's a Java chip Macchiato."

He just nodded and downed the rest.

"So. Back to what I was saying. My dad wants me to tell you that you really need to tell your parents, not only because enough time has passed, but because he is tired of lying about it too. You know they've been watching football a few nights a week together for the past month and a half? He said that they might surprise you."

Of course his dad said that. Since I've been continuously declining Kurt's invites to come over, his dad still hasn't succeeded in getting me to his house at the same time that my dad is there, so that he could meddle a little and try to encourage me to tell him. Burt Hummel was like, the nicest man ever. And the best dad anyone could ask for, aside from my own dad. I felt really bad for saying no every time Kurt invited me over after school.

It was nice being able to stay home with the stomach flu last month because it kept people from being able to bug the crap out of me in person. My text message inbox blew up like crazy all week though, but those are easier to ignore.

Except for Mercedes' texts. She is incorrigible! She'll text and text until I block her temporarily, and then she'll start tweeting me constantly until I answer her, knowing that I get the tweets where my name is mentioned sent straight to my phone.

"I know….. I mean-" I sighed and tried to compile the right words. "I don't think they'd kick me out or anything." I said thinking I’m mediately of Quinn. "But... I don't know. I just know that they are going to be soooo disappointed in me, and I don't think I can handle my parents looking at me like a disgrace." I said, my voice getting smaller as the sentence dragged on.

Kurt put a hand on my shoulder. "Savannah, you're not a disgrace."

I couldn't believe that. If I wasn't a disgrace, I wouldn't feel this way. "Yes I am." I told him. "If I hadn't stupidly had sex with Blaine, none of this would've ever happened."

Kurt sighed, and as he was about to, no doubt drop me a few words of encouragement, we heard,

"What's going on guys?"

Blaine. I hadn't seen him since the benefit, and even then, I didn't talk to him. I stayed hidden. I even resorted to hiding behind the piano to avoid having him see me. He asked about me. And freaking Mercedes almost gave me away. But my pleading eyes at the time had begged her not to, so thankfully, she didn't blow my cover. But after Blaine left the choir room, she was angry that I made her lie for me.

He kissed Kurt a hello, and I turned away feeling like I shouldn't be watching. It was too cute. It was too intimate.

Kurt and I had a sleepover a few nights ago with Mercades and Rachel, and he told us about how he and Blaine are well on their way to taking things to the next level, and how they make out now with their shirts off.

Lucky for Kurt, if he makes it all the way with Blaine, he won't have consequences.

I grabbed my coat from behind me and picked up my backpack turning to leave. I couldn't face Blaine yet. I haven't figured out how to tell him yet. I'll call Kurt later.

"Hey Savannah." Blaine said leaning in to give me a full on hug. I hugged back but I broke our embrace quicker than he was going to, because 1, I didn't want to make Kurt feel weird, and two, he smelled like a mixture of cologne and coffee, and it smelled really nice, but still somehow made me feel sick.

Besides, he should just kiss Kurt again. I shouldn't even be here, and seeing Kurt and Blaine together was like gravity.

I can't be a third wheel.

They should be able to cuddle in peace without me.

And just as I thought it, Blaine sat down and scooted his chair as close to Kurt as possible.

"Wait, are you leaving?" he asked me as I pulled on my jacket. It was drizzling, so for once I actually needed it instead of just needing it to cover the recently clearly defined excess stomach that stuck out between my ribcage, and waistline.

God it really is becoming very noticeable.

I hope Blaine doesn't catch it before I can get this stupid jacket on!

"Yeah, I need to go to the library."

"Really?" Kurt said louder than necessary. "You told me you just came from the library." There was sooo much accusation in his voice, and if I was still sitting down, I would've kicked him under the table.

"We’re just meeting Tina, Mercedes and Santana in a few minutes. You should take a break and join us."

I half smiled at him. He is such a sweet guy. We said we'd be friends and needed to hang out more, the three of us after we talked after the party. And I was really looking forward to it. I love Kurt, and Blaine is awesome. But, avoiding him is necessary right now.

I can't. I’m pregnant Blaine. I have to go home and avoid telling you for the rest of my life.

At least that's what I wanted to say. I can't be around him. Being in his presence alone makes me feel guilty for lying to him. He's so nice, and he's so cute and stable, and I don't want to change his life forever like I knew that this baby would do. And I REFUSE to come in between Blaine and Kurt, especially when things are heating up in their adorable relationship.

Telling him would just make things into a bigger mess.

I wanted to cry.

"I have to go back. I was crazy to think I could get any studying done in here. It's too loud." I said shyly, avoiding eye contact with Blaine.

"Why don't you just go home?" Blaine suggested, sipping his drink.

Because my parents aren't working until 7 tonight, and I have to avoid home until they're gone.

But I couldn't say that either. It would only lead him to ask me why I’m avoiding my parents.

"Yeah, I bet your parents would LOVE to hear from you. You know, since you never go home anymore." Kurt piped up again.

And again, I wanted to kick him. Shut up Kurt!

"My little brothers got friends over. House full of 8 years olds? Not gonna be possible to study in there." I said, the lie just rolling off of my tongue. I was surprised by how quick on my feet I was getting with my answers. I guess I was getting used to all of the excuses….. That's so not a good thing….. I hate lying. It makes me feel terrible.

Blaine looked a little bummed. As if he actually wanted to hang out with me. I’m a bad friend.

"I'll see you guys later. Tell everyone I said hey." I said and started walking out of the coffee shop before they could find some way to reel me back in. I’m sure someone said my name but I couldn't look back. I had to get out of here, as the tears were so close to slipping out of my eyes.

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"We miss you so much!" Tina said sadly.

I knew this. I really missed them. I do miss them. Way more than I will let them know at the moment while Blaine is sitting here.

"Isn't there any way that you could come back to McKinley?" Mercy asked.

I was about to answer her, when Blaine beat me to the punch.

"I told him I'd be all for it if it wasn't for Karofsky."

I rolled my eyes and looked into my lap. My protective Blainey boo.

"Wait. What did you just say?"

I was surprised that it was Santana talking, who was pretty zoned out and quiet ever since the girls arrived.

"Well Kurt needs to be safe-"Blaine answered her.

I was getting embarrassed, and I sooo did not want to talk about this. "Ok can we pleeeease change the subject?"

Of course not, I thought as Blaine turned to me and kept talking. "I'm just saying that it's not an option for you to go back there while he is still there Kurt. I don't want anything to happen to you." He squeezed my thigh under the table, and I put my hand above his.

I know that he is right. And that's what sucks the most. I feel terrible knowing that if Karofsky wasn't there, I would go back to McKinley in a heartbeat. Even though that meant leaving Blaine behind. I felt like Blaine and I were falling for each other. I mean I was falling hard. But I would still make time to see him as much as possible outside of school. I mean, we only really saw each other at lunchtime during school anyway. I’m a junior, and he is a sophomore, so we don't have any classes together. And then we saw each other at warbler practice, so we weren't like, joined at the hip or anything when we did see each other. I would still devote my weekends to him, and I would meet up with him wherever he wanted after school whenever he wanted to. I would only be missing out of all of the other aspects of Dalton. Like the gorgeous campus, the terrible and mortifying blazers, that did absolutely nothing for my figure, or Blaine’s for that matter, and the no bullying policy.

Sure, the no bullying was a HUGE gain! But I missed my friends. I missed my individuality and most of all, I missed being in the New Directions.

I was brought out of my thoughts when Santana stood up. "I've got to gay. GO! Go, I've got to go."

I gave her a telling look, and I could see that Blaine was smiling widely at her. Oh Santana.

"I really like her!" Blaine exclaimed.

I just rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Mmhmm."

You can't hate Santana. Despite how much of a bitch she is, she is a sweetheart, and a softie underneath it all, and we all know it. But Blaine likes everybody.

"I like you more though." Blaine said leaning his head on my shoulder.

My head automatically fell onto his head and I clasped my hand in his and sighed. As much as I miss McKinley, I know that Dalton is where Blaine is, and Blaine is enough for me. I could never complain. I really like him. He is amazing.

"My god! You guys are like candy! Stop it! You're gonna give me cavities." Tina said covering her eyes.

I just smiled.

"She's right; you guys are such a cute couple. What took you so long Blaine!?" Mercedes mentioned very matter of factly.

Blaine moved his head to look at me. "I was blind, and an idiot. Better late than never though right?"

Absolutely, I wanted to say, but I just kissed his cheek in response.

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The next day, I was so thankful when the bell rang.

The glee club assignment for the next two weeks; Mr. Schue said was to pick a song to sing to the class about excepting ourselves, which I had to Google to find the perfect one to do, and then were going to be doing Gaga's 'born this way' which everyone is SUPER psyched about. Too bad Kurt isn't in the New Directions anymore. He would go NUTS! And he'd be soooo excited to do Lady gaga. I saw their performance on YouTube of Bad Romance last year, and it was awesome!

Another part of our assignment is to pick a phrase or a word that describes something that we can't change about ourselves that we aren't comfortable with, but we can't change it because we were born that way.

I had a few choices for what I could put on a shirt. But then again, I don't know exactly what I can put on my t-shirt. I could put 'flat chested' like Santana said, but I didn't have NO boobs. I just have small boobs. Like, b cup small. But regardless, I'd rather not have 'small boobs' written on a t-shirt for a performance for Mr. Schue. That'd be really awkward.

I could put I’m perfect. Or flawed.

Or pregnant.

Except, I can change being pregnant. I could get an…..

An abortion.

But I would never do that. Its murder. I could never live with that on my conscience. I would be a murderer. So I can't change being pregnant…. But I don't think that I want that on my shirt either…

Sigh. This week was gonna last forever!

I came home early today, knowing that my mom was already at work. I walked in to the living room and saw a blonde head and a brunette head laying way too close to the TV. Justin's friend Noah was over again.

"Justin! What is Noah doing here?"

"Were playing Super Mario brothers."

"Have you done your homework? And you'd better not be on my file!" I scolded.

Justin rolled his eyes and he paused the game. "Were not! Were on mine, and I’m almost done with my homework!"

I rolled my eyes this time and walked in front of the boys. "Noah! Does your dad know you're over here!?"

"No. He's watching the game. He never notices where I am." Noah said softly.

"Noah," I sighed. "I know you haven't done your homework either, so go home, and do it! And Justin, get your butt in the kitchen and do your homework before dad…" but I trailed off. "Where is dad?!"

Justin un-paused the game, and the boys kept playing. "He went next door to Noah's house. He's watching the game. He told me to do my homework, but he's not even here. And what he doesn't know won't hurt him! You're not gonna tell are you sissy?"

I sighed and shook my head. I didn't answer. I just went upstairs to my room. My dad would bust them when he came back. Not my problem.

"Thank you sister! The best sister in the whole world!" Justin yelled as I started walking upstairs.

"Your sister is waaaaaaay cooler than mine. My sisters suck. Parker stinks and is stupid, and Hunter is just mean!" I heard Noah say.

That is very true. He has a little brother too. And he is just as bad. They were like, the epitome of bad kids! All 4 of them. And his mom was pregnant with her 5th child, and I would never understand! They pretty much can't stand their kids, and yet they keep having more.

Out of all of my brothers irritating friends though, I suppose Noah was the least irritating. And he provided healthy competition in Mario Brothers.

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My homework today was a breeze since I had already spent so much time on my work yesterday, so I just decided to study a little more for my bio exam on Thursday when I heard a knock on my door. "Come in." I said.

"Savannah, why didn't you make your brother get off of the game and do his homework? He's down there playing!" My dad said with his voice raised a bit.

"He's not my kid. Where were you? It's not my job to make sure he's doing his homework."

Wow. Where did that come from?! I didn't often mouth off to my dad. It never ended well for me. Calm down savannah, this is how you end up grounded.

"Uhm actually yes, it is your job. When we moved here, we agreed to up your allowance every week if you agreed to keep an eye on him on Tuesday and Thursday evenings until 7:00 when dinner is ready. And I do not like your attitude Savannah."

I didn't answer. I only looked into my lap and shrugged my shoulders defiantly….. Way to dig a deeper hole for yourself Savannah.

"And Noah! You can't just let him bring friends over. You know, he hadn't done his homework either his dad was very angry that he was over here!" My dad shouted.

"Oh my god! Like his dad gives a crap! His dad didn't even know that he was over here! He never knows where his kids are! He sits on the couch next door and watches t.v. He lets his kids run completely rampant. Noah is better off over here! He'd be more likely to get his homework done over here too considering how loud it is over there. Sometimes I can't even get my work done! God!"

My ranting had reached overboard as soon as it started. My dad pinched the bridge of his nose. Crap.

I'm in trouble now.

"First of all, don't let me hear you say oh my god again. Because you know that is not okay.”

I rolled my eyes.... yeah yeah yeah, the damn commandments...

“Second of all, you better have a good reason as to why you have your voice raised to me, because I have no problem grounding you."

I sighed and closed my book. He had a point. I was just really not in the mood right now to be battling my stubborn little brother about homework. "Ok. I’m sorry."

My dad pulled a chair out and sat next to my bed. Oh no. now he's gonna talk to me. I can't talk to him. I want to punch myself everytime I had to talk to him lately because every time I open my mouth, all that came out was another lie.

"I am sorry dad. I just, I don't have time to be arguing with him about homework. I have a biology test tomorrow and I’m not ready for it. So I need to study. Plus, glee club has a really big assignment for the next two weeks, and I’m just a little stressed out."

"Well according to your progress report we got in the mail today," he paused, pulling it out from his pocket, (and I. Am. Screwed), "Studying would be a great idea."

I bit my lip knowing that I was gonna be in trouble.

"Do you want to explain this?" he continued.

I looked at the paper and saw four a's, two b's, and a very out of place D+.

"I'm no good at biology?" I said, but it came out as a question. My mom is going to freak out.

"You know your mom is going to be very disappointed in these grades. She doesn't tolerate less than your best."

I know that. "I did do my best. I just suck at biology! It doesn't make any sense."

My dad sighed this time. "Then maybe instead of show choir, you should be going to tutoring after school. You can't let your grades slip. It's not acceptable."

I have heard this speech many times.

After promising to work harder, and spend less time out with friends, my dad left me to study in peace upon agreement that I wouldn't quit glee, but I would have to if I didn't bring my grade up by the next progress report. Thank god! It was actually a good thing my dad told me to spend less time with my friends though. Now I wouldn't be lying when I said I couldn't hang out. Besides, once my mom got home from work and saw my D, she'd ground me anyway. Even if my dad is on my side, and tries to reason with her.

I decided to start on my search for a song to sing in glee club after I finished with my homework, and I had a few choices. I was debating over Natasha Bedingfield's 'unwritten' and 'who says' by Selena Gomez. I loved both songs like crazy and I knew that I could hit the notes in both songs, but I was torn.

I was brought out of my thoughts by a buzz beside me.

Mr. Schue is not cool with you ditching again. Where are you? –Mercedes

I sighed. I could just ignore her like I've been trying to do all week, but that'd make me a jerk.

Studying for bio. Mom saw my report card. If I don't bring my grade up, I can't stay in glee. - Savvy

I knew that she would understand now, and not push it.

K, I'll tell Mr. Schue. Did u tell her yet? –Mercedes

Don't know what you're talking about -Savvy

Yes the hell you do know what I’m talking about. Tell her! –Mercedes

No! She's already angry as it is! I’m not gonna make it worse! -Savvy

Exactly! She's already angry! So kill two birds with one stone and tell her. Then it'll blow over faster.-Mercedes

That's probably true. Maybe I should just tell my mom when she's already angry. Maybe I should've told Blaine at the night of neglect concert like Kurt said. Because how could that night have gotten any worse.

But I can't. I can't tell either of them. I don't know how.

I can't- Savvy

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When was this puking going to let up! This is making me nuts. I washed my mouth out and sighed looking into the mirror. I lifted my shirt and started twisting my stomach back and forth. I am a teenager! I shouldn't have gained this much weight yet. Should I? My stomach stuck out like 6 inches.

I was brought out of my chub pinching charade when someone knocked on the bathroom door.

"Savannah?"

Crap! Its dad. I’m still in pajamas, and my spaghetti strap t-shirt is very defined around my stomach, and I know that my dad would notice.

How could he not?

I'm so busted! I’m so busted, I’m so busted!

"It sounds like- Savannah did you just throw up?"

I couldn't answer him. My voice would've broken and he couldn't know that I wasn't ok.

"Are you okay sweetheart?" He said through the door again.

"Yeah. I’m fine." I said as stable as I could muster. But I knew that it was not at all convincing. My dad walked inside, and I turned my backside to him as quickly as I could. I couldn't let him see my stomach.

"Are you still sick sweetie?" He asked feeling my forehead from behind me.

I felt so ashamed.

Why did I have to be pregnant?

Why did I have to be such an idiot, and have had sex?

Why couldn't I have the guts to tell my dad?

Maybe Burt was right?

Maybe he would understand.

My dad would.

But my mom….. She wouldn't.

She would go ballistic.

She would kill me.

And telling my dad would mean telling my mom, and I did not have the courage to do that.

Only a few seconds had passed, and I had to think on my feet before my dad gets more suspicious than he probably already is.

I grabbed a towel from off of the rack, and I held it in front of me to cover my stomach.

"I'm fine dad. I just, I’m gonna take a shower. I'll be down for breakfast in like 10 minutes." I said turning on the water so that my dad would leave and hopefully not say anymore.

I couldn't do this right now. I just couldn't.

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Thursday already….. And I don't think I am going to be able to perform my song this week. Yesterday, Rachel and Quinn did a gorgeous mash up of 'UnPretty', no doubt for Rachel's half, and 'I feel pretty' for Quinn's. It was a really pretty song, and they sounded amazing together. But because they did a mash up, I don't want mine to be a mash up too. I was going to try and mash 'Unwritten' and 'who says', but since Tina actually ended up singing 'who says' today after Rachel said that she was thinking about getting a nose job, and nailed it, I guess I'll go with 'unwritten'.

Finn sang 'I've got to be me' which is one of my favorite songs ever, and Mike danced, and it was awesome. I won't be getting to my song until sometime next week because Friday, well, tomorrow, Mercedes is gonna do 'Superwoman' by Alicia keys, and Artie, Santana and Brittany are all singing Kesha's 'we are who we are' together. I had a feeling that was going to be really awesome!

So Sam, Puck, Lauren, and I would all be performing next week. At least I wouldn't be the only girl. It took Finn talking after it got really quiet for me to come back to earth.

"Rachel, please don't do this. You're beautiful!" Finn is such a sweet guy. And it's very true. Rachel is really pretty. And again Finn was such a sweet guy. Everyone knew that he totally wasn't over her. Even though he was with Quinn, who did not at all look too pleased with him calling her beautiful, by the way he was so obviously not over Rachel. I don’t know why he was with either of them. They are both incredibly selfish. But, they are also extremely gorgeous.

And Finn is a guy.

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Blaine Pov

Won't be at school this morning. Going to a meeting with dad and the Karofsky's and principal Figgins at McKinley. I'll see you at lunch. xoxo –Kurt

A meeting at McKinley? That's weird.

Mckinley? Why? Whats going on? –Blaine

I knew what was going on. Not exactly every detail, but I knew what was going on. Kurt has been pretty miserable lately. He won't show it, and he won't talk about it, but I can see it. He misses his friends. He misses the New Directions, and he misses getting solos.

At the benefit, the look of longing on his face for being with his friends again, wasn’t hard to see. He clearly missed them like crazy.

I knew all of this for a fact.

He cares about me, and of course I care about him, but I do want him to go.

If going back is what is going to make him happy, how can I not want him to go back?

But then, I was going to miss him too.

No matter what, one of us would be unhappy in some way or another. I'd rather it be me. But like I said last week, I’m all for him going back if it wasn't for Karofsky. Kurt isn't safe there with him. No one knows what he is capable of, and Kurt is so…small. And it's not even that he's small. It's just that Karofsky….. is huge.

I was completely ready to fight him though in that hallway a month ago. I have a temper, and boxing makes me unafraid of bullies like him.

He's trying to reach out to me and my dad and apologize. Telling me it's safe to come back to McKinley. We have to talk after the meeting. I'll tell you all about it. –Kurt

k. you'll give me all the deets right? –Blaine

I smiled at Kurts quick response.

Of course. <3 Talk to you soon. :) - Kurt

I was going to be antsy and nervous and stressed for the hours before lunch today.

What if he goes back? What if he doesn't? Will it change us?