(2:33)
Well, hello to you too.

(2:33)
Hi.

(2:35)
You were saying?

(2:36)
Weird. This. Don't you think? I've never had weekly text dates with a stranger before.

(2:37)
My, had I known this was a date I would've worn something else.
(2:42)
This is the part where you chime in with a heartfelt “God no, you look stunning!”
(2:42)
Which I do by the way.

(2:43)
Conceited much?
(2:43)
And I have no idea what you look like.

(2:44)
I know. Details.

(2:45)
You were the one who wanted details if I remember correctly.

(2:46)
True. And you left me hanging.

(2:48)
I did not! I told you about my crappy week. And since when is this about obligations?

(2:48)
You just gave me a rough outline. Hardly satisfying.

(2:50)
You made a puppy joke and ruined the mood.
(2:53)
I'm starting to think you have a thing for puppy jokes.

(2:54)
I'm starting to think you have a thing for me having a thing for puppy jokes.

(2:55)
I've got no problems with details.

(2:56)
Really?

(2:56)
Really.

(2:58)
I'm gonna remember that. For next time.

(2:59)
Why do I get the feeling that you actually do vanish some time after 3pm?

(3:01)
Maybe I do. Maybe I don't.

(3:02)
Are you some kind of afternoon version of Cinderella?

(3:04)
What does that make you? My fairy godmother?

(3:05)
Better than your evil stepmother!

(3:06)
Goodbye, Blaine!

(3:07)
Have fun at your royal ball!

(3:08)
...Dork.

(3:10)
:)

******

Sun 2 Nov (11:35am)
Do you ever walk through Central Park and wonder how the trees got there?

(11:45)
That has got to be one of the strangest texts I've ever received.
(11:46)
Wait, what makes you think I live in New York?
(11:46)
And in case you haven't noticed, it's not Thursday.

(11:47)
Just a feeling.
(11:47)
And I'm going rogue.

(11:49)
A feeling? How can that be a feeling?
(11:52)
So tell me, Sarah Palin, are you in Central Park right now?

(11:53)
Why? Does that make your stalker genes tingle?

(11:54)
I thought we were past the serial killer paranoia.

(11:56)
Just wondering if you technically could stalk me right now.

(12:00pm)
Is that your weird way of trying to confirm whether I live in NY or not?

(12:01)
Is it working?

(12:02)
No.

(12:02)
Then no.

******

Thurs 6 Nov (2:25pm)
Can I ask you something?

(2:27)
...I love how you're just getting right to the point lately. Good afternoon! How are you? Fine, thank you.
(2:27)
Manners, Blaine!

(2:29)
There's nothing wrong with my manners.

(2:30)
Ooookay.
(2:32)
Is it personal?

(2:33)
What is?

(2:33)
Your question.

(2:34)
Oh. Yeah. I guess.

(2:36)
What about your aversion to details?

(2:38)
I thought we covered that last week.
(2:38)
You said you'd remember.

(2:40)
Yes but maybe you just crawled back into your serial killer-proof cave in the meantime.

(2:41)
Kuuuurt.

(2:42)
Okay. No need to get whiny.

(2:43)
Okay?

(2:43)
Okay.

(2:44)
How old are you?

(2:47)
That's what you're going with? That's your big personal question?

(2:47)
I never said it was gonna be life-changing.

(2:48)
How old do I sound like?

(2:49)
Right, cause that's just a minefield waiting to be stepped in.

(2:50)
Excuse me? Now I really want to know your answer to that one.

(2:51)
Not fair!

(2:53)
This coming from the guy who had a “feeling” about me living in New York.

(2:54)
I still think I'm right about that one.

(2:54)
21.

(2:55)
Changing the subject?

(2:57)
You asked. It's only polite to not keep the person hanging. Manners, Blaine.

(2:57)
>:(

(2:58)
I'm just going to pretend that I don't know what that means.
(3:01)
Aren't you going tell me how old you are?

(3:02)
Are you asking?

(3:02)
Are you usually this obnoxious or...?

(3:03)
20.

(3:04)
A minor!
(3:04)
Well, it's been nice knowing you...

(3:06)
Very funny.
(3:07)
Okay, so... Kurt, 21, living in NY (don't even try to deny it!), studying something that involves fashion, snarky...

(3:07)
Close, Blaine. So close.

(3:08)
Oh yeah, I forgot conceited!

(3:08)
Remind me why I keep talking to you.

(3:09)
Because I'm irresistibly charming? Even through text message!

(3:09)
Hardly.

(3:11)
Because I'm super mysterious and you can't help but be intrigued?

(3:11)
Now you're just embarrassing yourself.

(3:12)
Okay alright. Because my texts are the best thing about your Thursdays!
(3:16)
Ha! You're really thinking about this one, aren't you?

(3:16)
You wish.

(3:17)
It's ok, Kurt, 21, living in NY. Let it happen.

(3:18)
Now who's conceited?

(3:18)
Now who's in denial?

(3:18)
Now who's about to end this conversation?

(3:19)
Would that be you?

(3:20)
See you next week, Blaine!

(3:21)
You can't just leave whenever things get real!

(3:22)
I can do a lot of things! Watch me.

(3:23)
Is that supposed to impress me?
(3:26)
You're already gone, aren't you?
(3:30)
Which doesn't actually make sense. Who leaves their phone lying around for a whole week?
(3:35)
Nobody. Nobody does that in the 21st century. So you're just ignoring me at this point.
(3:37)
Which is fine.
(3:40)
I'm really just talking to myself now, right?
(3:41)
Okay.

******

Sun 9 Nov (9:55am)
And the squirrels, Kurt! What about the squirrels?

(10:00)
Are you sleep-texting?

(10:01)
No.

(10:02)
Are you drunk?

(10:02)
It's 10am on a Sunday!

(10:04)
Exactly! It's 10am on a *Sunday*!

(10:05)
Come on.

(10:08)
...What about the squirrels, Blaine?

(10:10)
How did they get here? Did somebody put them here or do they just come with the trees, like a package deal?

(10:12)
Am I sleep-texting?

(10:13)
Dunno. Are you?

(10:17)
You're in Central Park again, aren't you?
(10:18)
Is this where you hang out every Sunday?
(10:19)
And how do you come up with these questions? How?

(10:20)
I'm serious!

(10:21)
I'm sure you are!
(10:22)
Why don't you just google it? I bet Google is a morning person.

(10:26)
Sometimes I feel like people stopped thinking the moment Google came around. What if everyone relied on it all the time? It's a dead end. Someone has to come up with the stuff that's on there.

(10:28)
Oh god.
(10:29)
Look, why don't you just go back to bed before you hurt yourself? Can you do that?

(10:31)
That doesn't answer my question.

(10:33)
Squirrels, Blaine. Squirrels. I think we'll survive this one.

(10:35)
Will we though? What if Nov 9th will forever be known as the Squirrel Apocalypse? Could you live with yourself then?

(10:37)
What are you?

(10:38)
I'm adorable.

(10:40)
Let me get back to you on that one.
(10:42)
I need to get coffee or else I will go and find the next squirrel and you do not want to know what's gonna happen then.

(10:44)
So not a morning person!

(10:45)
You think?

(10:45)
:P

(10:46)
Why do I start thinking that you just like winding me up?

(10:47)
Google it!

(10:47)
...

(10:49)
Does that mean I win?

(10:55)
Would that shut you up?
(10:56)
Cause then yes, yes you win.

(10:58)
Enjoy your coffee, Kurt!