July 31, 2012, 7:03 p.m.
Breathe Easy: SIX: Nothing Makes Sense Anymore
T - Words: 2,409 - Last Updated: Jul 31, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 7/? - Created: Jul 04, 2012 - Updated: Jul 31, 2012 509 0 0 0 0
Blaine’s angelic face still looked ashen, even pallid than Kurt’s standard pale skin and his pale pink lips were slightly parted. The only thing that gave Kurt comfort was the steady, soothing rise and fall of Blaine’s chest, synchronize with the heart monitor’s monotonous beeping.
Kurt personally thought the universe was mocking him. How ironic it was that every great performer he knew and loved allegedly had lupus — Michael Jackson, Lady Gaga and now his own husband; Blaine Anderson-Hummel. While Michael Jackson was dead for a different reason and Lady Gaga was still healthy and making beautiful music, Blaine was fighting for his life.
Not many people were aware of how dangerous lupus was and it made Kurt want to scream. Just because it wasn’t cancer, it didn’t mean people could overlook the risk because it was just as high as cancer. The patients suffered and were in pain even though they might seem fine from the outside.
Kurt grasped Blaine’s hand securely in his grip. He felt hopeless and lost without Blaine. He didn’t know what he would do if Blaine left him. He really hoped Blaine was strong enough to get through this and they would be a happy family again… even if it was for a while. They would have to say goodbye in a matter of time.
“I talked to Sebastian just now. The kids miss you, Blaine.” Kurt said softly, running his free hand gently over Blaine’s curls. “They are with Sebastian right now. Cooper had to go to LA again but he did complain that living with Sebastian and taking care of the kids makes him feel like he’s in a relationship. He won’t admit it but I think Coop secretly likes it. It’s time for him to settle down, don’t you think? But not with Sebastian though.”
“I’m not sure whether your brother is straight or gay because I haven’t seen him with anyone since we got together but if Sebastian were to join our family as Cooper’s partner, wouldn’t it be weird? I mean the guy had feelings for you before… but well, never say never, right?” Kurt chuckled, thinking how crazy their lives would be if that happened.
Kurt placed a sweet kiss on the hand he was holding. Blaine’s hand was warm and calming. “But I’m grateful Sebastian is here. He had been helping a lot. With Cooper busy at work and Finn’s crazy life as a husband and the father of three, I don’t think I could manage without him. But I… I need you here, Blaine… with me… I c-can’t do this without you…”
Kurt sobbed, his grip on Blaine’s hand tightened. He longed more than this. He wanted to hold Blaine, to kiss his husband like he used to. He yearned for Blaine to respond to his touch and not lay on the bed immobile like he was at that moment. It was painful to be alone without the person you loved.
Kurt gasped when he suddenly felt Blaine’s fingers twitch under his palm. He wiped his tears as Blaine stirred a little. Blaine’s eyelids fluttered and he slowly opened his eyes. Without further ado, Kurt pressed the call button, alarming the medical staff.
“That’s it, Blaine… open your eyes.” Kurt said with tear filled eyes.
“Kur—” Blaine croaked hoarsely, unfocused hazel eyes looked back at Kurt.
Kurt let out a sob of relief hearing Blaine’s voice. He cupped Blaine’s face with both hands, kissing every inch possible. He held Blaine’s hand afterward as one hand stroked the dark curly hair. He could tell it was an effort for Blaine not to close his eyes again but his husband held on. His misty eyes kept on gazing at Kurt.
It took almost an hour for the doctor to finish examining Blaine. And although Blaine had woken up from a nearly two week’s coma, the doctor could only give them bad news. Kurt hadn’t cried when the news broke. He had been preparing to act and look tough in front of Blaine. It was kind of good news to Kurt because Blaine wasn’t in a coma anymore and at least whatever happened after this, he got a chance to say goodbye.
“You remember the first time we decided we were ready to start a family?” Blaine asked delicately, resting his head on Kurt’s shoulder. It was Blaine who wanted Kurt to climb on the bed and sit next to him after the doctor was done prodding him like a lab animal and Kurt happily obeyed the simple request.
Kurt winced slightly. Blaine sounded so weak it made Kurt’s heart clenched painfully in his chest. Blaine’s fragile state was an unpleasant reminder of what was about to come. “I do. We were so young. You and I were twenty-four and twenty-five years old respectively. Both of us had just finished college…”
“Yeah…” Blaine smiled at the memory. “Our number one option was to adopt back then but our application had been rejected. Why do you think?”
“Why what, Blaine?” Kurt questioned softly.
“The adoption… Is it because we are gay or is it because we were too young?”
“I don’t know…” Kurt paused. “But in my opinion, I think it was the latter.”
Blaine hitched a breath before he spoke again. “And then when we brought the matter to Burt he didn’t approve of our plan to raise a kid at such a young age.”
“But Cooper did.” Kurt whispered, kissing Blaine’s forehead.
Blaine’s lips formed a bright smile. “Coop helped us with the surrogacy. He searched for the best facilities, paid for the procedure and everything. The only thing we had to do was contributing our sperm.”
Kurt elatedly laughed. It was a funny and yet embarrassing memory for him. There was a few panic attacks involved when he had to talk about something private like his sex life to an outsider. He was a baby penguin back then. Well, he still was. It was who he was.
“We got our first baby that August hence the name — Darren August Anderson-Hummel.” Kurt concluded gratefully. “He was so beautiful even Coop cried. And the look on your face, you couldn’t have been so proud. Just from Dare’s curl and those lips we could already tell he was yours. Everything about him screamed you.”
“It doesn’t matter to me which kids belong to whom. They are ours.” Blaine said after a moment.
Kurt nodded, agreeing with Blaine. “Me neither. And then when Dare was three you wanted more children. You had joined forces with Darren to persuade me to expanding our family. You two were unbelievable! Things that you guys did just to coax me were… well, let’s just say they were unexpected.”
Blaine chuckled wholeheartedly. His pale face brightened up a little bit and he actually wasn’t in a lot of pain. He enjoyed talking about his family, it gave him strength. “I love being a father.”
“Me too.” Kurt affirmed matter-of-factly. “It was the most amazing thing ever other than being your husband.”
Kurt was taken aback when Blaine leaned in and gave him a chaste kiss. Their position was kind of awkward but Kurt wasn’t complaining. The kiss was long and slow. It was simple but it was filled with thousands of unspoken emotions.
They made out on the hospital bed, trying to steal back all the times they had lost during their involuntarily separation but they never went further than kissing. Blaine was still so frail and frankly, the smell of antiseptic and other hospital-related scents was a turned off for them, especially Kurt. He didn’t want it to be a part of his reminiscence in the future.
Blaine had been apologizing for his behavior before, stating his reasons for pushing Kurt away and Kurt had admitted he was a little bit disappointed but nonetheless, they were Blaine and Kurt — their relationship was solid since they were in high school and it kept getting stronger and stronger from time to time. Neither of them wanted a barrier between them anymore. It was like their wedding vow; till death do us part.
They started to talk about their twins afterward. Christopher and Jessica’s births were actually unplanned. Blaine had always wanted more children after they got Darren and Kurt was beginning to like the idea of more kids as well after the then three-year-old Darren August asked for a baby brother to play with. Surrogacy was out of question. The procedure was too expensive (egg donor, surrogate mother etc.) and it was also complicated. Darren had begun to ask about his birth mother and both Blaine and Kurt didn’t know how to explain to their son about it because Darren was too young to understand but was full of questions.
They tried applying for adoption but once again, it was a failure. Their application wasn’t approved for the second time. They were devastated but they kept quiet about it, not even Cooper and Finn knew. After the news broke, Kurt and Blaine took the upset Darren to Texas for holiday where they met their long lost friend Quinn Fabray.
Quinn had become a real-estate agent and was married to a local businessman with two boys of her own. It was truly unintentional her finding out about their struggle. Unpredictably she offered her help right there and then. The boys were knocked for a loop, so Quinn told them her reason. She knew they were good men and obviously good fathers too and it would be an honor for her to help them bring another wonderful person to life. She missed Beth every single day of her life and if she did this, at best she could visit the baby if Kurt and Blaine were the fathers. She wouldn’t be missing anything.
Quinn’s husband was amazingly supportive. Like the last time when they were trying to conceive Darren, Blaine and Kurt mixed their sperm together. Kurt didn’t agree at first because their children wouldn’t be related if it weren’t for Blaine but he lost the fight after succumbing into Blaine’s insanely marvelous vision of a little girl with blue eyes and hair like Kurt. But neither of them expected they would get twins — one of each gender. It was a miracle for them when Quinn gave birth to Chris and Jess a day after the Fourth of July. They let Quinn pick the twins’ first names whereas they choose the newborns’ middle names. That was how the twins became Christopher Austin and Jessica Summer — creatively named after the place and the season they were born in.
“I miss them, Kurt…” Blaine said breathlessly after reminiscing their story. “I wanna see our kids.”
Kurt smiled and pulled out his phone and began texting Sebastian. The kids would be delighted they were finally going to see their Daddy. Once he got a reply, Kurt gently entwined his fingers with Blaine’s. “They are on their way.”
Less than an hour later, Kurt heard a soft knock on the door and Sebastian swiftly peeked his head into Blaine’s room. He had a bright smile plastered on his face. “Some little monsters are eager to see you!” He said, opening the door wider.
“Daddy!” The Anderson-Hummel kids screeched, barging inside the room, heading straight toward Kurt and Blaine. Kurt bent and enveloped his twins before letting them climb onto the bed to be with Blaine.
Jess and Chris were excited, their eyes practically sparkled but Darren didn’t react the way his little brother and sister did. He actually looked scared, understandably alarmed by the wires and machines next to his Dad. He stood silently at the foot of the bed.
“Dare?” Blaine called out. He sounded tired and it was visible in his eyes how weary he really was. “Come here, buddy. Aren’t you happy to see me?”
The eight-year-old didn’t answer but he turned to Sebastian. With a smile of assurances and a slight push from the lawyer, the boy slowly made his way to the bed. The minute he stood next to Blaine, tears spilled from his hazel eyes. Kurt pried the twins away from Blaine as his husband hugged their first born. Darren buried his face on Blaine’s chest, sobbing uncontrollably.
Christopher and Jessica watched the scene in front of them with wide eyes. It was bizarre for those two seeing the vulnerable side of their big brother. Darren was big and protective and strong and he shouldn’t be crying like that. Jessica clung to Kurt like a baby koala while Christopher was in Sebastian’s hold, biting his nails nervously although Sebastian had asked him to stop.
“Kurt?” Kurt barely heard Blaine’s voice. His husband was still holding their eldest in his embrace, rocking the boy.
Kurt cleared his throat, wanting to make sure his voice wouldn’t startle his kids. He had been crying a little seeing Blaine reunited with their children. “Yes, Blaine?”
“Take me home. I wanna go home.” Blaine pleaded forlornly.
Kurt and Sebastian shared a look at Blaine’s request. The doctor had told them Blaine could never leave the hospital. He needed to be monitored all the time by medical professionals. His condition was rapidly deteriorating and taking Blaine home would be a very high risk.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea, boo…” Kurt said with a grim smile.
Blaine’s face fell. “Please, Kurt. I wanna spend the rest of the year at home, with the kids, with you… not in this hospital…”
“Yeah Papa, let Daddy come home.” Jessica pouted at Kurt, wrapping her tiny arms across her chest defensively like Kurt was the bad guy.
“Don’t be mean, Papa.” Christopher immediately agreed with his sister, accusing their Papa as well.
Kurt let out a strangled laugh. The children’s innocence could be overwhelming sometimes. If only they knew the truth. Jess and Chris were only told that Daddy was sick. But nobody had told them that Daddy was really sick and dying. Even the eight-year-old Darren had been taking it badly and Kurt was sure, it would be worst with the four-year-olds.
“We are taking Daddy home.”