Dec. 14, 2012, 7:36 a.m.
A Burn For More: Chapter 11
E - Words: 3,250 - Last Updated: Dec 14, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 11/? - Created: Aug 13, 2012 - Updated: Dec 14, 2012 1,197 0 10 0 0
“How are you feeling?” She wondered with a small smile, hoping maybe she could get him to talk about what happened with Blaine. All Kurt said on the phone was that there was a fight and he needed to get out of the apartment for a little bit. By the sound of that alone Rachel knew it was bad.
Kurt shrugged, looking off into the distance as he pulled his knees to his chest. “I don't know.” He answered, frowning as he placed his chin down, a slight frown on his face.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Rachel asked, feeling Finn tighten his hold around her shoulders as a warning to back off a little. Finn knew Kurt needed a little space to cool down and think, but with Rachel being herself and Kurt's best friend, she wasn't going to back down.
Kurt gave a simple shake of his head, mind racing with so many thoughts that he didn't even know what he wanted to talk about first. His main issue at hand was what he would do if Blaine refused to quit his job.
“Would you want me to maybe text Blaine?” Rachel mentioned casually, noticing the wide eyed look Kurt gave her. “You know, just to let him know you got here safe?”
“No.”
“But Kurt, he's probably worried sick about you... It's been over two hours since you've gotten here.” Rachel defended, earning a hard glare from her friend that would make a flame turn into an ice sculpture.
Kurt huffed, his feet planting on the floor. “Are you on his side or something?”
“What?!” Rachel asked loudly, finding it absolutely absurd he would even think that. “No, Kurt, I don't even know what-” She continued before getting cut short by Kurt.
“Then why do you care how he's feeling right now?” Kurt wondered harshly, making a move to stand. He feels worried about Blaine every day, Blaine can feel that way for Kurt just once and get a taste of his own medicine.
Rachel wiggled out of Finn's grip, sitting to face Kurt. “I don't know how he's feeling, but I assume he's worried about you since you stormed out and haven't spoken to him since.”
“He probably is... But he decided we needed a fucking break! He doesn't need to know where I am or what I'm doing!” Kurt shouted, taking a deep breath as he closed his eyes, willing himself not to cry. “I'm going to bed, good night.”
The room was silent before the door to the guest room clicked shut, Finn looking at Rachel with wide eyes. They had no idea about Blaine asking for a break. This fight must have been worse than Rachel assumed.
–
Blaine awoke to his phone alarm, groaning loudly as he rubbed his tired eyes. It was a long restless night and the bones that cracked as he sat up only reminded him more.
“Kurt is at our place and safe.” He read quietly, smiling softly at Rachel's text. That was incredibly sweet of her. She was obviously unaware of how big of an asshole he was to Kurt last night. Smashing that plate clearly crossed a huge line. Along with calling his husband a pain in the ass.
With a heavy sigh Blaine got up from the couch to go get ready for his shift, hoping to maybe get Nick's insight into all of this shit going through his jumbled head.
Blaine set his duffel bag down in his room before he went into the lounge where a few of his squad guys were watching TV.
“Hey man!” Nick greeted, exiting the kitchen area with a sandwich in his hand and huge smile on his face.
Blaine gave him a nod and forced smile. “Um, can we talk? We can go to your room or something.” He offered, watching as Nick's brow lifted curiously, giving him a soft nod before turning to lead the way out.
It was quiet as Blaine stared at the floor, trying to come up with a way to start the story.
“I um.. I told him we should take a break.” He mumbled pitifully. “That I needed one from him.” Blaine admitted, running a hand through his curls as he slid down the side wall, placing his elbows up on his knees.
Nick frowned, his eyebrows pulling together. “But you're married?” He pointed out in more of a question, confused as to how they can be on a break. They are kind of together for life.
“We are. I know.. That's why I was dumb for saying it.” Blaine said honestly, shaking his head at himself and his idiotic choices. “I was just so mad..” He trailed off, knowing there was no excuse for what he did last night. “But he.. he wants me to quit.”
“Quit the department?” Nick asked in disbelief, not understanding where this was all coming from.
Blaine nodded slowly, head leaning back against the wall. “If we're going to start a family in the near future he wants to know that I'll be safe. So I can be around for our kid.”
“And what are you thinking?” Nick wondered, even though it was obvious how confused Blaine was about the whole thing.
Blaine gave a small shrug, picking at his jeans. “Quitting.” He mumbled, knowing deep down Kurt is right. “Maybe I can call my dad.. See what I can do at his firm.”
Nick's eyes widened in shock. “But that's why you started being a firefighter, to not do what your dad wanted you to do.”
“Yeah, trust me, I know that, but I love Kurt more. I want a family with him.” Blaine said softly, blinking rapidly to hold back some tears. He was so overwhelmed with so many different emotions. “I need to.. I don't know, I'm just so.. Lost” He ended with a whisper, sighing in defeat.
With a sigh Nick racked his brain, trying to think of something. “I mean, maybe you could retrain in the academy and become one of the fire investigators.” Nick offered hopefully, smile widening across his face. “You wouldn’t be in the fire, you’d just go in after to see if it was an accident or arson.” He explained, hoping to convince Blaine. He didn’t want to see his best friend walk away from the department with regret.
“I don’t know. I’d have to think about it I guess.” Blaine mumbled, running a hand through his hair.
Nick smiled sadly at his friend, wishing he could help him more than he was, but even he wouldn't know what to do in Blaine's situation. “Well ignoring one another won't do you any good.”
Blaine cracked a half smile and nodded, a huff escaping his nose. “Ah, the beauty of marriage.”
–
Kurt gathered his things from under his desk and stood without a word, feeling Lauren's eyes on him as he left. He was quiet all day, mostly in his head as he thought about last night. It's been almost a whole day since him and Blaine had spoken, that hasn't happened since their first fight before they even dated.
“Bye Mr. Hummel!” Kurt whipped his head to his left and smiled weakly at the office secretary, giving her a small wave before exiting through the large glass double doors. He needed to get out of here and go to Rachel's. He just wanted to curl up in a bed.
He felt like a robot as he waited for the elevator, watching the little red numbers go down too slow for his liking. Finally the doors spread apart and he sighed in relief, bee lining toward the last set of glass doors, breaking out into the beautiful April evening.
“Kurt!” Wow, he was popular today. Kurt turned his head over his shoulder to be met with the sight of Blaine jogging after him. Seriously? What kind of luck was this?
With a roll of his eyes Kurt faced forward and continued walking as if he didn't hear anyone call his name, ignoring Blaine's heavy footing behind him.
“Kurt, please! I'm sorry!” Blaine called after him, keeping up rather well. He must be on break from his shift or something. “I don't want us to have a break... Can we please just talk about this?”
That sentence set Kurt off like no other, making him stop dead in his tracks.
“Oh so now you want to talk about it?” He asked sarcastically, trying not to laugh because it was just so ironic. “We fight and take a break and now you decide we should talk about this when I've been trying to get you to talk about this for months!” Kurt shook his head, a sigh escaping his lips. “..Impeccable timing Blaine.”
Blaine's eyebrows twitched up as he frowned, he looked like a wounded puppy if anything. “This was stupid... Y-you were right, okay? Can we just go home, please?” He admitted quietly, not wanting to yell and fight on a street in New York where there were a lot of pedestrians passing them.
“Great talk. Admitting defeat always helps in the long run, let me tell you!” Kurt said loudly, not being able to hold back his laughter any longer. This was just amazing to him. “You know what Blaine? We're going to stay on this break, you clearly need more time to think about what you want...Because I don't think it's us. I think it's your job.”
Kurt walked away without looking at him because he knew it would hurt way too much to see his face. As he rounded the corner and walked down the stairs to the subway he let himself break down, tears cascading down his cheeks as he scanned his card and waited for the train to pull up.
–
Feeling defeated, Blaine, stepped into the apartment and gave a weak, sad smile to Mocha who seemed like the happiest creature in the world despite his parents being separated. Blaine sighed, he really does want a kid with Kurt. He considers their dog their kid, this seems like a new low for him.
Mocha followed on Blaine's heels as he slumped his way to the bedroom, lightly closing the door behind him once the dog was in safely. At least someone wanted to be around him.
After washing his face and stripping from his heavy work clothes Blaine climbed up onto his king sized bed, actually letting Mocha hop up with him and snuggle into his side. Kurt hates when Mocha is on the bed, partly because he separates their bodies, but also because he's a dog and he doesn't want him to ruin the furniture.
“Hey baby!” Blaine said quietly in a baby voice, his hand rubbing behind his dog's ears. “You still love daddy, don't you, Mocha?” He continued, watching Mocha's ears perk up. Blaine chuckled, as his nose was licked, sighing happily, his body relaxing into the mattress.
This was one of the many bumps in the road, one of the bad ones, the one that gives you a flat tire and the car ends up in the shop for a couple days. Their relationship is now a car. Blaine is seriously losing it.
–
Rachel walked out of her bedroom as Kurt entered through the front door looking more frustrated than when he got to her apartment two days ago.
“Hey.” Rachel greeted with a small smile, quickly replacing it with a frown as Kurt ignored her, shutting the door and setting his stuff down.“What has you all riled up?” She asked, taking a seat on the couch.
Kurt huffed, slipping his coat off as he walked over to the love seat, plopping down rather childishly. “He was waiting for me outside of work. Can you believe him? Freaking waiting for me.” He ranted, tilting his head back to rest against the cushion, staring at the ceiling. “And then he goes with this monologue about how he wants me to come home and how 'sorry' he is and 'knows I'm right and... Blah blah blah.”
“Well... Maybe you should. You know, go home.” Rachel suggested casually, crossing one leg over the other as she looked over at Kurt, who had his eyebrow raised suspiciously.
“.. Are you kicking me out?”
“No, Kurt! It's not like that.” Rachel said in a panic, sitting up in alarm. “It's just.. I think you need to go home. You can't keep ignoring him. It isn't healthy. He's your husband, you two need to communicate.”
Kurt's mouth fell open slightly. “Wait. You're taking his side? Seriously?”
Rachel sighed heavily. “Kurt, stop it. I'm not taking anyone's 'side'.”
Kurt glared, sitting up and preparing to get off the couch. He was not going to listen to her preach about Blaine being right. Because he wasn't. “Well you should. You're my best friend. You should be taking my side.”
“Will you just listen to me?” Rachel asked harshly, standing up to challenge her friend. She wasn't just going to let him storm out of this one. “I am not picking sides with family. We're all adults here.” She said sternly, narrowing her eyes at Kurt. “I don't care if you hate him, but don't make me choose between you two. That isn't fair.”
“I don't hate him.” Kurt muttered, the glare still etched on his face.
Rachel slowly took her seat as Kurt did, waiting as his face relaxed and he eased back into the couch, calming down. “Well people usually hate each other when it comes to divorce.”
“Divorce?! I...” Kurt suddenly felt sick to his stomach at the thought. “I don't want a divorce. I.. I'm just mad at him.”
“Then what are you still doing here? Go talk to him. Make things right.” Rachel pushed slightly, hoping Kurt would realize how right she was.
All Kurt could do was give a small shake of his head because just going to talk to him wasn't as easy as Rachel made it sound. “I've said all I needed to say. He's the one who needs to make things right.”
Rachel sighed. This wasn't going how she hoped. “Well, how can he if you won't let him?” She asked, trying not to yell at Kurt. That would ruin this whole talk and this is the most he's spoken about how he's felt. “Just hear me out, okay?”
Kurt nodded, his arms crossing over his chest as he lied back on the couch.
“This separation thing isn't helping your situation. You guys are married now. That means making sacrifices you may not want to make and being there for each other. 'For better or worse', right?” She explained, internally groaning as Kurt barely reacted to anything she said. “Blaine's tried to reach out. If you really want him to make this change, you need to be there for him.” Rachel said with finality, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
Kurt shook his head. “No. No, I'm not wrong. He needs to change first. If he really wants this marriage to work then he needs to prove to me-”
“Prove what, Kurt? As far as I'm concerned you both are wrong, whether you want to admit that to yourself or not.” Rachel interrupted, sick of Kurt being on this high horse of his. “You're spending so much time thinking about how his job is making you feel. Have you ever stopped to think how this may affect him?”
Rachel waited to see if Kurt had any answer to her rhetorical question, but he shockingly stayed quiet.
“Being a firefighter is all he's ever known. He's twenty four, Kurt. Starting over, at his age, that's terrifying. You're throwing all these ideas of school and careers and... you're scaring him.” She pointed out, biting her lip as she saw the emotion coming through Kurt's eyes. Rachel was getting to him, she felt it. “He needs you, Kurt. Not yelling at him or fighting with him. He needs your support in whatever he decides. That's what being married means.”
“I just can't bear the thought of losing him, is that so hard for people to grasp?” He asked quietly, his voice thick with hurt.
Rachel smiled sadly. “If you keep pushing him away like this, you will lose him.”
Kurt sniffled, wiping under his eyes. “I want to support him so badly, but then I think about him at work and not coming home and it scares me, Rachel. Like... If I don't fight for him to leave it will be my fault that he stays, and what if something happens to him. I couldn't live with myself.”
With a slow start Rachel got up and joined Kurt on the loveseat, giving him a tight hug. “Then you need to tell him that-”
“I've tried. He-”
Rachel held her hand up, pausing him. “No, Kurt. You haven't. You need to talk to him, a mature conversation between two husbands who love each other and are willing to give up whatever they need to for things to work.” She told him sternly, sticking with the tough love thing. “You knew this was his job before you married him. You can’t hold it over his head and make him choose. That isn’t playing fair.”
Kurt nodded softly, a tear trailing down his cheek.
“I'm not going to push you any farther than that, but you should go home tomorrow, okay?” Rachel said more quietly, hugging him closer to her side. “It's for the best.”
–
Blaine entered the apartment after his shift, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Something felt different. Mocha didn't run out and there was a coat draped over the back of the couch.
“Hello?” Blaine called out cautiously, placing his duffel bag down as quietly as possible, reaching for the umbrella leaning against the wall.
“In the bedroom!”
That was Kurt's voice. Blaine took his hand back and walked to their room, pushing the door open slowly with one hand, leaning against the door jamb with his arms crossed over his chest. “Welcome home.”
Kurt glanced up from his laptop with a small, uncomfortable smile. “Thank you.” He said quietly, biting his lip as he shut the lid, looking up at his husband. “How have you been?”
“Worried.” Blaine answered honestly, looking down at the ground before meeting Kurt's eyes again, a sigh escaping his lips. “I didn't know if you were at Rachel's or Lauren's or maybe even Sebastian's. You never answered me.”
“I just needed space. I'm sorry I made you feel that way.” Kurt told him truthfully, his heart aching and fluttering at the same time. He hated that Blaine was worried the whole time, but then again he was happy that he cared so much.
Blaine nodded in understanding, clearing his throat. “I kinda got a taste of my own medicine so.. I guess it’s my turn to say that I'm sorry.” He admitted, walking over to the bed, taking a seat at the end of it. “I know how you feel now when I'm at work. It was the worst feeling in the world, not knowing if you were safe or not.”
Kurt smiled sadly, his eyes feeling watery. There was really nothing more to say at this point.
“I'm going to start something for dinner, okay?” Blaine informed, reaching back to give Kurt's shin a loving squeeze before standing up.
Comments
He was, but we all get like that with the people we love because we love them so much that we just want them all to ourselves and safe. But don't worry Kurt will be much more understanding... But so will Blaine. ;)
I'm so glad Rachel got through to Kurt- he was being awful selfish...
Aw thank you so much! That means a lot! :)
This book is just amazing update soon please :)
I'm glad to see that Kurt went home but then again they still have issues to resolve so I can imagine more angst in their immediate future - can't wait for the next update :)
Not so much angst, more of understanding talks and awkward moving around one another because the tension is clearly there! Thank you so much for reading! Glad you enjoyed!
Your reviews are always so in depth and wonderful! Thank you so much for take the time to read my story and write your reviews! :)
I was so excited when I saw that you had posted a new chapter and it was definitely worth the wait. It was nice to see Blaine actually consider Kurt's point of view and to see that he had acted harshly during their fight. It was also really good to see that Blaine was able to talk things out with Nick and to see that he did have options to consider while also realizing that nothing was more important to him than Kurt. I absolutely loved the Blaine and Mocha part of the chapter because it was really cute and sweet. Another thing that was great was how Rachel actually had enough and decided that Kurt needed a little tough love. It was nice to see that no matter what she would not allow Kurt to put her in the position to choose between him and Blaine while also showing Kurt that Blaine was not the only one in the wrong. It made me so happy to see that Kurt decided to go home to Blaine and I can't wait to see what happens now that they are back in the same house and able to sit down and hopefully converse like the mature adults they are. I know I say it every time but I really am enjoying this story and appreciate the time that you put into writing such a great story for us fans to read. Thank you!
I like this story a lot! its realistic in the way people are stubborn when fighting with someone you love. Keep writing!!
are you going to finish this story??! pleaseee!! I want to know how it ends!!!!