The smile splayed across his lips made Blaine wince.
He gritted his teeth.
The dull throb on the left side of his face had lessened but the moment he smiled and the muscles in his face rose, a short stab of pain returned.
Despite the sharp twinge of pain, Blaine was content and the unforgiving smile on his face was inevitable as he replayed his, fairly embarrassing, attempt at reintroducing himself to Kurt in his head.
He groaned regretfully.
What was wrong with him? Since when did he have the tomato syndrome?
He knew how to formally introduce himself to males, and females of all ages both dull, and breathtaking, without blushing like a schoolgirl.
Why, just why, couldn’t he have lived up to that around Kurt; he asked himself as he walked languidly down the hall.
Just then his eyes caught sight of a familiar pair of maple doors.
Doors he’d hastily pushed through once before.
He paused mid-step, blinked, and felt himself transport back to reality, all thoughts of Kurt and feelings of bliss cut short.
The doors loomed before him in the now too narrow hallway, dimly lit by the dangling chandelier that cast daunting shadows on the ground.
Was this what it felt like to be claustrophobic, he wondered briefly as slight paranoia seeped into his brain, with Kurt he had forgotten the actual reason he was at Dalton, but now the anxiety he’d once felt began to creep back in as he stared at the double doors. Blaine blinked again but this time, when his eyes fell on the doors, he pushed all fears aside and forced himself to walk towards them.
He would not let his fear stop him.
With each step he took comfortably long strides, past the wall-to -wall paintings, which blurred into colorful blotches of acrylic, past the wooden bench, he’d first overlooked, and past the wide window that sat across the bench, until he finally reached the great wooden doors that lead to his recently discovered, but already dreaded, fate.
Blaine quickly straightened, pushing his shoulders back the way he been scolded to do from a very young age.
He was tired of feeling weak, scared, and out of control. He needed to be in control of himself, because a sense of security always led to a sense of peace. His eyes fluttered shut as he allowed a remarkable sense of calm and confidence to wash over him. This was something he’d always done whenever he’d felt his emotions getting the best of him.
Something in the back of his mind realized that the strong force that plagued him wasn’t normal, yet he pushed the nagging little voice away and allowed the fierce sense of calm to take over.
As he stood there Blaine could have sworn he heard Smithe’s pen scratching against paper.
It was faint, methodical, and relaxing when synchronized with the ticking of a far off clock.
Blaine eyes flew open.
He grinned coolly, eyes shinning brightly, a strong sense of adrenaline pumping through his veins; he was ready.
***
Before Blaine even stepped into his office Smithe felt the boys growing sense of authority.
There was no doubt in his mind that this was what they’d been waiting for.
There was a brief knock before both doors parted and a completely different boy stepped in.
This boy was calm, he entirely deflected the boy that had stood trembling in his office, only hours before.
Smithe forced the hand that had tensed around his pen to relax.
The boy cleared his throat, “ Sir I apologize for having run out earlier, but I wish to continue where we left off, furthermore I’ve decided to remain here like the others; that is if you’ll still have me?” He stated, hands folding behind him as he stood erectly in the office, his eyes meeting Smithe’s in controlled anticipation.
Smithe nodded, “Dalton has never turned away a student and you will not be an exception,” he said warmly, “now please have a seat.”
Blaine smiled thinly and sat in the now familiar chair opposite Smithe.
“Thank you sir.”
Smithe watched him slightly perplexed; in all his years he’d never seen anyone quite like Blaine. He didn’t know if Blaine’s behavior was encouraging. He wasn’t sure if it meant Blaine would struggle more, or less. He didn’t know if it proved all the disbelievers wrong. Was his ability to control his emotions and emit a strong sense of authority a setback, or an advantage?
Of course Smithe already knew what others would say.
They’d say Blaine was too far gone, hopeless, but Smithe didn’t see that.
“I’m happy you want to stay Blaine, but I believe you should hold off on that decision until you hear everything that comes with being here. I’m afraid you may not like everything I have to say, but if you want to do what’s best I dare say Dalton is ultimately your biggest hope.”
“Are you referring to what will happen on my birthday?”
Smithe’s eyebrows rose in surprise, “did Kurt tell you?” he asked in astonishment.
If Blaine really knew all that his eighteenth birthday entailed then his casualty was a bit off putting.
Blaine shook his head and Smithe watched Blaine’s eyes soften at the sound Kurt’s name. “No, the only thing he really told me is that I’m a demon, but Quinn mentioned it.”
“Quinn? You met the others?” he asked perplexed at the mention of Quinn Fabray.
Blaine nodded; his eyes were once again guarded.
“I met them briefly but I already knew Quinn, I grew up with her, she was a family friend, I think she only mentioned it because she thought I already knew.” He said quickly, his gaze dropping to his hands; “she didn’t necessarily tell me why the day is relevant but from the look on her face I figured it isn’t a day I’ll be looking forward to,” he finished, his head still directed toward the hands in his lap.
Smithe nodded, quickly processing what he’d been told. He wasn’t surprised to hear Blaine had been exposed to other demons in the past. Judging from Blaine’s previous reaction and Quinn’s history, he assumed neither one of them had known what they were, although he couldn’t say the same for their families. Smithe dismissed the issue, it was time to focus on Blaine’s present; his past would be resolved later.
“You’re right Blaine. I feel I should start by telling you Dalton isn’t your ideal place. It’s a place where you will learn to go against your very nature. This is something you’ll discover isn’t easy. Kurt was right, you are a demon, but as I mentioned earlier that does not mean you aren’t human, it means something dark resides within you. It seeks power and it seeks to control. Every time you go against it, every time you fight it, you will suffer, however every time you use your powers, every time you let them takeover, you lose a bit of your humanity. It’s a give and take situation; the more power it gives you the more it takes from you.”
Blaines head shot up he shook his head in confusion, “but I saw your students use their powers?” He blurted.
Smithe nodded, intrigued at Blaine’s moderate mood shift. “They do it because it’s pointless to fight it. You can’t suppress it forever, it will fight you, get inside your head and when that time comes you won’t know how to control it.”
Blaine nodded steadily his eyes shifting as he tried to comprehend what he’d been told.
“So you expose us to it? You teach us how to control it?”
Smithe nodded “Precisely Blaine. That is exactly what Dalton was founded for.”
Smithe could practically see the boys mind at work, his eyes downcast, he blinked rapidly, mouth somewhat agape, as he thought.
“But what about before Dalton? What about the people that you never find?”
Smithe chuckled at his peaked curiosity. “One thing at a time Blaine. For now I will say there are other methods; unfortunate methods that we reserve the right to defer to if necessary, but we will get to that later.”
Blaine nodded sullenly, biting his lower lip as Smithe spoke.
Smithe leaned back in his chair then addressed Blaine, “tell me, can you pinpoint the first time you felt yourself begin to act upon your darker, more controlling side?”
Blaine shook his head. “Not really. I feel like I always had the powe, to tell people what to do, but the nightmares, the aggression, and twisted thoughts … well those are fairly new,” he replied sardonically.
Smithe flashed him an empathetic smile, “that’s because you where born with these powers. No one really knows why we are the way we are. There are theories but ultimately all we know is it’s an inherited trait. It’s like a genetic mutation that sneaked into the human genome. It’s a dangerous, initially undetectable trait that only appears every third or fourth generation. Everyone has a dark side Blaine; but a demon’s has evolved and grown into something stronger completely outside our comprehension. It’s so strong that as you grow, it grows, and eventually you will face an inner struggle; in which it will try to completely take control of your mind and body. This explains the nightmares; it drives you to give in, tempts you with the satisfaction of ending whatever threatens you. In return for letting it in it gives you more and more of its power and control over others. Initially it was so weak you may not have noticed when it happened because it begins to take over when you’re at your lowest, when you’re upset. As you get older you begin to unconsciously summon it. It’s at this point that most people lose themselves in its power until one day it’s too late.”
Blaine sat motionless his expression unreadable. His hand eventually sought a chain around his neck, his fingers clenched onto it and he slowly began to toy with it, but his motions seemed cut short, rigid, and Smithe began to wonder what was going through his mind.
“You said it grows stronger and that it will eventually try to take over. Does that have anything to do with my eighteenth birthday?” He finally asked.
Smithe closed his eyes, taking a short breath, then spoke, “yes your eighteenth birthday is when it will try to entirely take over your body. To an ordinary person you would seem the same. It will act like you, think like you because it takes your body, and your memories but it essentially kills you in the process.”
“But we can fight it, right?” Blaine was now at the edge of his seat.
“Yes Blaine but it isn’t an easy task.”
“Did you do it?”
Smithe nodded.
“And what if-“ here he paused “ what if I can’t?”
Smithe hesitated.
“That is ultimately your choice. What takes over isn’t human; it’s powerful and has no bounds. It isn’t something you or I wouldn’t want to see in the world.”
Blaine lost all composure as he came to the realization of what Smithe’s words meant, his eyes widening in fear.
“You mean I get to decide if you kill me before it does?” he snapped.
Smithe remained silent.
“But I only have two months? Kurt has been here since he was sixteen. Quinn must have been here for over a year. If it’s difficult for them how do you expect me to do it?”
“Blaine you are a lot stronger than you realize. I know this isn’t fair but you still have time, it isn’t hopeless.”
Blaine was speechless, he simply sat there unblinking and deflated. “I… I cant.” He sighed brokenly.
Smithe sighed sadly. “Blaine if you don’t try you will become everything you’re afraid of. The boy that enjoyed the thought of killing his father; that is the only boy that will exist. It’s already begun but you, you have been fighting it for years. I’ve honestly never met anyone as strong as you, especially without any training. Please don’t be discouraged.”
Blaine’s head hung low breathing steady, even. Nothing in the room shifted and Smithe realized Blaine was suppressing all feeling. He was allowing cold emptiness to engulf him.
Smithe rubbed his temples.
“I know this is a lot of information for you to digest. You need time to think this over. It’s late and I know for a fact you haven’t eaten all day.”
“I’m not hungry.” Blaine muttered.
“You need to eat something Blaine. I want you to go to the dining hall and eat. I’ll have someone show you there. Meanwhile I’ll arrange a room for you to stay in. Think it over, talk to everyone here and come to me when you’ve reached a decision. Does that sound fair?”
Blaine shrugged.
Smithe was relived; at least he wasn’t fighting him.
“Then it’s settled.”
**
Kurt smiled at Emma, like many of the round-the-clock workers she was not a demon, yet she was affiliated with one in some shape or form. Most of the tutors, cooks, and maids of Dalton were either descendants or a victim of demons. They were here because they had nowhere else to go.
“Rachel told me why you weren’t at dinner I figured I’d bring you a little something since you didn’t come down to eat.”
Kurt smiled warily.
Emma was not a maid, tutor, or cook. Emma was Smithe’s daughter. She was at Dalton for two reasons, one, Smithe felt she was in danger anywhere else, two, she helped run Dalton. Kurt wasn’t sure how Dalton ran before she took over.
Being raised by a demon, in a place filled with them, she was attuned to their every need as well as their behavioral patterns. Kurt often thought she understood them better than they understood themselves, which was why they often went to her for help. If this were a normal school- Kurt thought- she would be the guidance counselor.
“Something bothering you?” she asked earnestly as she set a tray down on his mahogany desk, neatly stacked with magazines and books.
Kurt let out a shaky laugh. “It’s stupid.”
Emma flattened her charcoal pencil skirt before sitting on Kurt’s twin bed; her alarming big, almond shaped eyes, fixed on Kurt who had been sitting at his vanity. He didn’t need to glance in the mirror to know his red rimmed eyes had given him away.
“Oh honey, is it Sam? I know you two are close and his birthday is only two months away. He told me he’s worried you worry about him too much. ”
At that Kurt let out a watery chuckle “Oh god he said that?”
Emma nodded primly.
“It’s not just that, it’s everything.”
Emma smiled knowingly. “Everything?” she asked egging him on.
Kurt sighed.
He didn’t want to talk but he guessed he needed to.
“Sometimes I forget my life isn’t normal. Being here for so long makes you forget there is an outside world completely oblivious to our existence. I can never truly forget, but it’s all I know now. Today I had to think about my past again, my life before this, my dad, my close friends, the person I nearly killed. I was sitting next to Sam earlier and it really hit me how abnormal my life is. I was sitting there worrying that my best friend might die or become a soulless demon, then I started wondering if it would be the same with me. Am I going to fail when my time comes? I feel pretty confident now but sometimes I’m scared I’ll lose it. Then there’s Blaine and he just…” at this Kurt stopped his cheeks going crimson.
Emma only stared at him, a small knowing smile tugging at her tiny lips.
Kurt squirmed, suddenly feeling extremely self conscious, he tried to tug at his sleeves but quickly realized he was wearing a thin t-shirt and silk pajama bottoms, not a Dalton uniform.
He hadn’t meant to mention Blaine but he couldn’t deny he’d been on his mind the most. Blaine was honestly what had tipped him over the brink.
“Blaine? That dashing young man I just escorted down the hall?” Emma supplied.
Whether it was her accurate description or the fact that Blaine was now down the hall, Kurt wasn’t sure, but something she said made him want to hide his face in a pillow and completely stop talking.
“What about him?”
At this Kurt’s mind overflowed with thoughts.
Blaine had truly reminded him of everything he could never have. Everything he wanted. Yes he’d had crushed on other boys at Dalton. Crushes he would never, ever act on, yet they had been platonic, nothing but an illusion. In some ways this had made Kurt’s life simple. He only had his friends to worry about. He didn’t dream about his future with a friend. Whether they’d move in together, whether they’d get married, whether they’d have kids, whether he’d be the reason they got past their eighteenth birthday. Blaine had made all those thoughts dauntingly close because Kurt saw endless possibilities with him. Which was wrong. And Kurt hated that it was wrong. He wanted to dream. To walk around with a dopey smile on his face .He wanted his dad to pry the name of the boy that had put that smile there out of him. Instead he was hit with the crushing reality that his future was sketchy, that the life he’d begun to conjure in his mind would never be attainable. They were both inexperienced Demons. A lot could go wrong. Losing a friend was bad enough. Kurt didn’t want to know what it felt like to lose the love of his life.
Not that Kurt loved Blaine. This was all hypothetical. He didn’t even know Blaine.
“Kurt?” Emma said tentatively.
Kurt swallowed back the vile agitation that had begun to bubble in him. He didn’t want to think or talk anymore because the more he thought the worse he felt.
He wanted to lie in bed and fall into mindless sleep. That was the reason he’d avoided dinner.
Once he’d left Blaine, Kurt had walked down the hall, an unrelenting smile on his lips, all the forlorn thoughts that had once accumulated in his mind wiped clean.
That is until he found his mind wandering to the impossible. It was all a downward spiral from there.
There was shuffling outside the door followed by Puck’s booming voice.
Emma always had a bodyguard of some sort seeing she wasn’t a demon and she constantly interacted with Demons that lost their temper at the drop of a hat.
Tonight it seemed Puck had taken on a shift.
“Relax you’re not his body guard man, you’re Emma’s. Kurty!” the door swung open and in wobbled Wes one pant leg folded up, his ankle bandage in plain sight, and his Dalton polo was only halfway tucked in.”
In any other circumstance Kurt would have laughed.
“Oh snaps you scared me, hi Miss Emm” Wes said directing his attention towards Emma.
“Hello Wes. I’m glad to see you’re feeling better,” she said her little nose scrunching appreciatively.
The short spiky haired boy smiled foolishly. “Me too Miss. Should I come back?” he asked eyes darting from Kurt to Emma
Emma stared at Kurt, forehead creasing before she stood up and patted Kurt’s shoulder. “No, no we’re done you can come on in Wes.”
She paused
“Kurt if you want to talk you know where I am. Okay?”
Kurt nodded gratefully.
As soon as Emma walked out the door Wes eagerly stepped all the way in. Kurt quickly noted how bouncy he was for an injured person.
“So guess what? I just met the new kid. He seemed a little distracted at first but he warmed up. He seems freakin’ powerful too. It’s kind of intimidating, I feel bad for his mentor,” Wes spilled, he was now limping to Kurt’s desk.
Kurt watched as he plopped on the chair and picked a grape from Kurt’s fruit salad quickly tossing it into his mouth.
“He isn’t as short as me but he plays guitar and piano which is fantastic because not many people here are musically inclined, yunno?”
Kurt nodded.
It seemed he wasn’t going to escape Blaine any time soon.
“Sam and Puck play guitar too,” Kurt sighed
Wes ignored him, “Oh and get this, I heard he’s on your team.” At this he winked awkwardly.
Kurt rolled his eyes. For nearly being an all boys school news certainly traveled fast, but then again the school consisted of less than thirty students, including the graduates. Kurt had come to realize that boys were bigger gossips than girls when trapped in a school together.
“Wes I already met him.” He said voice slightly monotone.
“You did? Is he…well you know?”
“Is he gay. Yes. Do I care? No.”
Wes laughed, “Jeez did you hate him that much?”
“What no I don’t-”
“Relax I was joking you just seem a little…irritated.”
“I’m tired Wes.”
“It’s 9:15”
“It’s been a long day.”
Wes stood up. “I can take a hint.”
“I’m sorry I don’t mean to be rude but I really could just use some time alone.”
Wes grinned “It’s cool I don’t blame you, I think the pain killers they gave me make hyper. Weird right?
“Extremely.”
“Truth is I can’t even stand myself right now so I don’t blame you for kicking me out.”
Kurt laughed appreciatively, “I’m not kicking you out per say.”
Wes shook his head still grinning.
“How’s Jeff?” Kurt asked guiltily. He had completely forgotten to inform Smithe about Wes and Jeff and surprise, surprise it had all been Blaine’s fault.
Wes gave him a smug grin at the door. “He’s currently feeling guilty. I made him think he really hurt me. It’s why they gave me painkillers. But the truth is-” he whispered, “-the truth is I’m fine.”
At this Kurt let out a loud laugh.
“Night Kurt.” He trailed as he shut the door.
“Good night Wes”
**
Quinn was startled by the rapid knock on her bedroom but she quickly got to her feet and opened it.
There stood Blaine, shoulders slumped, eyes tired.
“C-can I please come in?”
Quinn bit her lower lip, nodding as she watched him pitifully.
He knew.
He had talked to Smithe and now he knew.
He sat on the edge of her bed, and stared at the ground.
“I counted Quinn.”
“Counted?”
He nodded fiercely “I only have sixty days.”
Quinn let out a small gasp.
“Quinn, I only have sixty days before I turn eighteen, and this was day one.”
He finally looked up at her.
Quinn had expected glassy, fear filled eyes, but instead they were dark, bright, and determined.