June 4, 2012, 11:43 a.m.
There's all kinds of courage.: Chapter 39
E - Words: 1,438 - Last Updated: Jun 04, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 48/? - Created: Sep 20, 2011 - Updated: Jun 04, 2012 152 0 0 0 0
"Hi, honey. I'm so glad you're home. Are you okay?" she asked, before he'd even closed the door behind him.
"Yeah mom, I'm fine" he said, giving her a small weary smile and while that wasn't strictly the truth, well it was a lot closer to it than it had been earlier, before he'd seen Sam.
"I went to the store on the way home and picked up some snacks I know you like," his mom said, trying to lead him towards the kitchen.
"Thanks Mom, that's great," he replied, but made no move to follow her. "I think I might just go crash for a while upstairs though, after I take a shower."
He saw the way her smile faded at his words and immediately felt guilty for disappointing her.
She stood looking at him for a minute, uncertainty clear on her face before he saw a look from her that he wasn't used to seeing… determination.
"You need to eat, Blaine. I'll bring you some milk and cookies up while you're in the shower, and you can eat them before you take a nap. You'll sleep better with something in your stomach."
Blaine was so unused to hearing that tone from his mom that all he could do was nod in agreement. Her smile came back.
"Then later I'll order Chinese. You used to love it when we did that when you were younger." She seemed like she was on a roll and Blaine didn't have the heart to stop her.
"Sounds good, Mom," he said, even though the thought of greasy food after so many days of not eating much made him feel a little nauseous again.
"Okay." She was clearly relieved that he hadn't put up a fight. "You go take your shower and I'll bring you something up." She turned to head towards the kitchen.
"Thanks, Mom," Blaine said before she turned away and he found that he really meant it. It was nice to know she actually cared.
His mom nodded and headed off to the kitchen.
Blaine trudged wearily up the stairs. Entering the familiar surroundings of his own bedroom, he grabbed some clothes to get changed into and entered his bathroom. He discarded his clothes on the floor and as usual, tried to ignore the marks on his body as he stepped under the scalding hot water of the shower. He scrubbed hard at his skin, again and again, until it was red and glowing, all the time wondering whether he would ever actually feel really clean again. Stepping out, he grabbed a towel and dried himself quickly. He put the sweatpants and hoodie he'd chosen on quickly, before he was even totally dry. He didn't like being naked anymore. He felt too exposed, too vulnerable. The mirror was fogged up, but he didn't bother to wipe it clean. He honestly liked the fact that he couldn't see himself very well in its surface. He ran the towel roughly over his curls until his hair was nearly dry. It felt fluffy after the rough treatment, but as long as it was clean, he didn't really care how it looked. Walking back into his room he saw that his mom must have been in while he was out because a plate of Oreos and a glass of milk sat on his desk. Knowing she would probably check on him, and resisting the urge to hide them somewhere, he managed to eat two of the cookies. His mouth felt dry. Whether it was from the act of eating them or the cookies themselves, he wasn't sure, so he drained the glass of milk. The cold liquid was actually very soothing to his still sore throat and he would have liked some more, but his bed was calling to him more.
He lay back on the bed, staring at the familiar marks on his ceiling, the same marks he had stared at for as long as he could remember, and he gradually let himself drift off to sleep.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
He came awake with a start a while later and was surprised to see that it was getting a little dark outside. He must have been asleep for quite a while and while he knew he hadn't slept completely soundly, none of his nightmares had been bad enough to wake him. He actually felt a little better and surprisingly hungry.
His mom must have been in at some point because the cookies and empty glass had gone. He headed downstairs and found his mom sitting in the kitchen. He wondered how long she had been sitting there, picking at her nails.
"Did you sleep okay?" she asked as he came into the room.
"Yes," he said, glad he didn't have to lie for once.
"Good, I'm glad." She paused as if unsure whether to continue before speaking again. "Kurt called."
A flash of guilt shot through him when he realized that he'd forgotten to call his boyfriend, and Kurt was probably worried sick.
"Why didn't you wake me?"
"Kurt told me not to." Blaine smiled at the thought of his boyfriend telling his mom what to do, but he hid the smirk with his hand.
"I better call him." Blaine started to head for the hall where the phone was, since he wasn't even sure where his cell phone was anymore.
"Do you want me to order dinner?" Natalie asked.
"Yeah, sure," Blaine answered. "Whatever you want is fine with me." He was too eager to call Kurt to care about dinner right now.
The phone was answered on the first ring and Blaine had an image in his mind of Kurt sitting anxiously with it in hand waiting for him to call.
"Blaine?" Kurt's slightly breathless voice answered.
"Hi Kurt," he spoke softly into the receiver.
"Oh thank god, your mom said you were sleeping, but I thought maybe you were avoiding talking to me."
"Never, Kurt. I always want to hear your voice," Blaine leaned his head against the wall as he spoke.
"So did you have a good nap?" Kurt asked.
"Yes actually, really good. I...I'm sorry about earlier," Blaine apologized.
"It's okay, Blaine. I understand why you were upset." Kurt's voice was also soft and Blaine wondered if anyone was listening in on his end. He was almost positive his mom was perched with her ear to the kitchen door.
"Well, I bumped into Sam and that helped."
"Sam? Where did you bump into Sam?" Kurt sounded confused.
"On a bridge," Blaine chuckled at how absurd that sounded. " Don't worry. I'll explain later."
"Well, good... -what?" Kurt started talking to someone in the background. "I'm talking to Blaine, I'll be in in a minute," he said, before continuing his conversation with Blaine again.
"Who was that?" Blaine asked before Kurt continued.
"Finn," Kurt replied. "He said 'hi' by the way. ..just letting me know dinner's ready but it can wait."
"No," Blaine protested. " You should go eat with your family."
"But I want to talk to you," Kurt almost whined.
"Well you know how much I like talking to you too, but Mom just ordered dinner, so I should probably get going anyway."
"So… you're eating?" Kurt asked softly.
"Yes, mom." Blaine smiled at his boyfriend's comment.
"Well someone needs to be one." Blaine winced at the barbed words.
"She's trying," he said with a sigh.
"I just wish you were here," Kurt sounded so sad it brought a lump to Blaine's throat. He cleared it audibly before speaking again.
"I miss you too, more than you could know. Now go eat dinner, and I'll come over in the morning."
"Okay, take care Blaine. I love you." It didn't matter how many times Blaine heard Kurt say those words to him, they always had the same effect. His heart sped up, his hands got clammy, and warmth spread through his body.
"I love you, too," he said.
Even after Kurt had hung up he stood in the hall holding the phone, just smiling.
Eventually though, he made his way back into the kitchen where his mom was waiting.
The food arrived not long after and Blaine was pleased to see his mom had ordered a couple of his favorite dishes. He still didn't eat much but ate a lot more than he'd been able to manage in the past few days. Truth be told, he actually found himself enjoying it just a little.
He was just putting a second mouthful of Cantonese chicken into his mouth when he heard it… the unmistakable sound of the front door opening.
He looked up and met his mother's eyes and saw the same fear he was suddenly feeling reflected there.
A few minutes later, the kitchen door behind him swung open and Bill Anderson walked into the room.