June 4, 2012, 11:43 a.m.
There's all kinds of courage.: Chapter 27
E - Words: 1,608 - Last Updated: Jun 04, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 48/? - Created: Sep 20, 2011 - Updated: Jun 04, 2012 179 0 0 0 0
Blaine for his part just sat looking down at his hands, one nail picking at a small scab on his left hand. Burt heard someone crying quietly and looked over at where Natalie was sitting on the other side of Blaine. Their eyes met and he finally found he had some sympathy for the woman as he saw the pain, fear and sadness there. He watched as she hesitantly put her hand on Blaine's shoulder and winced with her when he flinched away.
Blaine lifted his head then and looked over at Burt.
"Please don't tell Kurt" he pleaded with him.
"He already knows" Burt said confused at the request.
"Not..not everything, not the details, please".
"Why Blaine?" Burt couldn't stop himself asking the question.
Blaine couldn't look at him as he replied. "Because I don't want him to know that I'm the reason he got hurt, that he almost died, I couldn't handle it if he hated me".
Burt reeled back in shock. How could Blaine think that any of this was his fault, from what Burt had just heard Blaine had done everything in his power to protect Kurt. Burt would honour his request but not for the reasons Blaine thought. Kurt would never hate Blaine for what had happened but Burt had a horrible feeling that if Kurt knew how much Blaine had sacrificed to keep him safe he might just hate himself.
"Blaine, Kurt would never hate you, none of this was your fault, I need you to believe that" Burt tried to get the boy to meet his eye but he refused. Burt sighed, realising he was fighting a losing battle. Maybe it was too soon, maybe Blaine was still too caught up in this too see things clearly, Burt would just have to keep reassuring him until something got through, he wasn't going to let Blaine come away from this feeling guilty.
"Oh Blaine, why did you keep this to yourself" Natalie sobbed.
Burt didn't think Blaine was going to answer at first, but he wanted to hear his answer too.
"Because if I didn't tell anyone it wasn't real, I thought if I just pretended it never happened, then I could convince myself that it was true, except it didn't work like that" Blaine admitted. "No matter how many times I tell myself it didn't happen I know it did. It's like it's still happening. Every time I close my eyes I can see them, everytime it's quiet I can hear them, but worst of all I can still feel them. I feel like my skins crawling and nothing I do can get rid of it". Blaine started to rub at his arms as though to prove his point but Natalie captured his hands in her own.
"I don't know how you can bear to touch me, not now that you know how dirty I am" Blaine tried to pull his hands away from hers.
"You're not dirty Blaine" she said pulling his hand up to her mouth and kissing it gently. "You're my son and I love you".
Blaine looked at where his hands were pressed against his mothers lips with widened eyes. Burt could tell that Blaine wasn't exactly ready to embrace his mom with open arms but that he appreciated that she was making an effort.
"I love you too mom" Blaine gave her a small smile back.
Burt's mind was in turmoil though as he kept going over and over what he'd just heard. He really needed to get out of this room and away from this nightmare. But he didn't want Blaine to think he was running away and leaving him. So when Blaine asked if he'd fetch Kurt he jumped at the chance. Giving Blaine one last squeeze on the shoulder he followed the two detectives out of the room.
Kurt was sitting with Carole just outside the room and she had to stop him from leaping to his feet when he saw Burt.
"Blaine wants to see you" Burt told him, suprised that his voice was so steady.
Kurt didn't say anything just got to his feet as quickly as he could and entered the room that Burt had just left.
"Is he okay?" Carole asked.
"Not really no" Burt replied and this time his voice did shake a little bit.
"Are you okay?" Carole reached a hand out to touch his arm and that comfort was what finally tipped him over the edge. With a shake of his head he was off down the corridor searching for either the nearest rest room or door to the outside. It was a rest room he spotted first, which was probably for the best because he was soon bent over one of the toilets emptying his stomach in violent burts. He hadn't realised Carole had followed him until he sat back and felt her cooling touch on the back of his neck. He didn't care how it looked as he leaned into her touch and strarted to sob.
Carole for her part didn't say a word, just sat down on the floor beside him, oblivious to the awful stench and held him whilst he let it all out. He allowed himself to cry for a few minutes before pulling back and wiping his face on his sleeve.
"That bad huh?" Carole asked passing him a tissue from her bag.
"Worse" Burt said simply as he gratefully used the tissue to blow his nose.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't think I can Carole, I don't know how he just did" Burt admitted. " They...what they did to him...my god. They brutalised him Carole".
Carole just shook her head sadly.
"I don't know how he's even walking about because if something like that had happened to me I don't think I'd be able to breath let alone function. But do you know what the worst thing is?" he looked across at her and she shook her head, letting him tell it in his own time.
"He still thinks that he's somehow to blame. Those bastards "Burt could feel his temper rising but it felt kind of good so he let it "they used Kurt against him, they basically made him choose between himself and Kurt and he chose Kurt. Yet he's still in there thinking he's done something wrong. If I ever see any of those ...I don't know what to call them because they're not men, Carole I think I might just rip their fucking heads off. They're just boys Carole" he was sobbing again now "how could they have done this to them".
"I don't know" Carole said as tears ran down her own face. "It looks like there's a good chance the police will get them though, that's one thing at least".
"You know what a part of me hopes they don't" Carole frowned at him. "Because here they'll be safe but if there out there maybe I might have a chance to catch up with them" he could tell he was scaring Carole a little bit but he couldn't stop himself, it felt good to get some of how he was feeling out in the open.
"Because I'd make them pay for this, I'd make sure they never had a good night's sleep again, I'd ruin their lives the way they've ruined Blaine's".
"His life doesn't have to be ruined by this" Carole was trying to calm him down.
"Do you really think that?" Burt turned on her. "Can you honestly say hand on heart that Blaine will ever get over this".
"Yes" Carole said the word with conviction and it stopped his anger in it's tracks. "I do, I think it's going to take a while and I'm not saying he's not going to change because of it but he's strong and he's loved and those two things are going to be enough".
"What if they're not?" Burt was scared to hear the answer.
"They will be because they have to be, we're not going to let him slip through the cracks and we're not going to let those bastards destroy him or Kurt, otherwise they may aswell have stayed in that alley for ever".
Burt had loved his first wife with all his heart and had been devestated when she'd died. He'd resigned himsef to spending the rest of his life alone until he'd met Carole. He'd felt guilty at first for loving another woman, as though he was betraying Kurt's mom's memory and although he'd always enjoyed her company he'd known that he would never love her as much as he'd loved Elizabeth. Until now that is because how could you not love a woman as amazing as Carole. He no longer felt guilty, just incredibly lucky. Some people never find the love of their lives and he'd found her twice.
"I love you" he said standing and reaching down to help her to her feet.
"I love you too" she smiled at him and he wrapped his arms around her in a tight embrace.
The door to the rest room opened and they turned to look at the man who had just entered.
"Oh I'm sorry " he said "I didn't mean to intrude" he said backing out, but giving them both a very strange look before he left.
They both watched the door swing shut behind the clearly confused man before bursting into laughter. They only laughed for a moment before the humour died away, but for those few seconds it felt really good.