There's all kinds of courage.
ifonlyrhona
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There's all kinds of courage.: Chapter 17


E - Words: 2,134 - Last Updated: Jun 04, 2012
Story: Closed - Chapters: 48/? - Created: Sep 20, 2011 - Updated: Jun 04, 2012
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Blaine had the strongest sensation of deja vu. He was sitting on a hospital bed, being treated by the same nurse that he had seen just three nights earlier. He couldn't believe it had been such a short period of time because it felt like a lifetime ago.

He had followed Carole down to the main reception and sat patiently in one of the waiting room chairs whilst she'd gone off to find someone. Judging by the look of relief on her face when she reappeared in the doorway a few minutes later, he knew she must have been worried that he might not have been there when she returned.

She had sat down next to him and taken one of his hands in hers and whilst it was kind of nice, he still had to fight the compulsion to pull away.

"Blaine" Carole spoke gently. "Someone will come get us in a minute". He'd nodded at her then, as if he was fine with the idea, when inside he just wanted to run back up to Kurt's room and hide from the world. Just because he'd told these people what had happened it didn't mean he was up for any of this. He was only going along with it because he couldn't see any other option.

"I was thinking" Carole drew his attention back to her. "We really need to call your parents".

Blaine did pull his hand from her grip then. "No" the word came out harsher than he intended but he couldn't help the surge of panic that her suggestion gave him.

"Blaine they have to know". He knew she was right, there was no way he could keep this from them anymore. But the thought of having to deal with them on top of everything else that was happening at the minute was almost to much to handle. He looked up at the clock on the wall and discovered a way out of it for now.

"Look it'll be really late in Italy right now. I don't want to worry them, can I just call them in the morning?"

Carole sighed as though she's been expecting some kind of excuse. "Okay Blaine, but first thing tomorrow, I need you to promise me that".

"I will, I promise" Blaine agreed because at least that was one less thing to deal with tonight.

They sat in silence for a few minutes and all the time they sat there Blaine could feel his anxiety levels rising. He didn't know what was coming exactly but he knew it wouldn't be good.

"I thought I recognised that name" a vaguley familiar voice drew his attention to the doorway and he was startled to see the nurse that had treated him the other night smiling in at him.

"Kate" she reminded him when he looked at her blankly. He remembered now how nice she's been to him and for some reason that made him feel slightly better about what was about to happen, only slightly though.

"I see you finally gave in and decided to get yourself checked over properly" she said smiling as she looked over the notes in her hand. Blaine wondered how much Carole had already told them but when the nurse stopped reading suddenly and looked at him with no trace of the smile he had his answer.

"Um do you want to follow me" she said, the easy familiarity from a moment ago had gone now and she seemed subdued.

Blaine and Carole had followed her to a private room that seemed to be tucked out of the way. He wondered if it was the room that they always used for situations like this. It was depressing to think how much pain and suffering these four walls might have been witness to over the years.

She had disappeared for a while and then come back in to let them know a doctor would be in soon. Blaine was trying not to watch as she pulled various things out of draws. He couldn't help notice the camera though.

"What's that for?" he asked.

"We need to take photos as evidence for the kit".

Blaine started to shake his head. He didn't want this, didn't want any of it. He felt like he was staring into a dark tunnel, but the light everyone always spoke of was nowhere in sight, instead the tunnel just seemed to go for ever, neverending darkness.

"I know this is hard" Kate was looking right at him now as she tried to reasure him. "This is all just standard procedure. We collect the evidence and then the hospital can hold it until you decide what you want to do about it. At this point it's all still up to you what you want to happen from here. Let's just do this one thing at a time okay and if you choose not to do anything with it that's up to you, but at least then you'll have a choice." He wondered how many times she'd given that speech. He knew he didn't really have a choice anyway, he'd lost control of the whole situation the second he'd made his blubbering confession in Kurt's room earlier. He hated how weak that made him.

"We need to see what injuries you have anyway so let's just deal with everything else as it comes up okay?" Kate continued.

Blaine nodded even though it was as far from okay as you could get.

The doctor came in not long after that and Blaine was relieved to see that it was a woman.

"Hi I'm Dr Sanders" she introduced herself. "Shall we get started" she was all business but Blaine didn't mind that, he was actually starting to get sick of the kiddie gloves everyone else seemed to be handling him with. It just reinforced the idea that everyone saw him as this fragile, broken thing.

"Can you please strip down to your underwear". Okay maybe a little less business would be nice. Blaine found that his hands were shaking as he slowly removed his top and jeans. He wondered whether he'd be able to get through this if he felt this bad just about getting undressed.

Kate gently removed the dressings that Santana had applied so that all of his various injuries we're exposed to the harsh lights of the room. He tried not to meet anyone's eyes as Kate picked the camera up and started taking photos, but he could see the looks of shock and disgust they were sending his way.

Dr Sanders waited until Kate put the camera down and then proceeded to gently prod and touch various places, all the while checking to make sure he was okay with it. He hissed in pain when she ran a hand over his ribs.

"This is going to hurt a bit" she warned him and pressed down hard on the area. He tried not to pull away from her but couldn't help the gasp that escaped him.

"I don't think they're broken, nothings shifting in there so we'll just wrap them for now". Blaine was relived to hear that. "Some of these cuts look like they might be infected" she said frowning as she took a closer look.

"I've been taking antibiotics" Blaine fumbled around in his jeans that sat next to him on the bed pulling out the bottle that Santana gave to him.

Dr Sanders frowned as she picked them up "These are completely unsuitable, where did you get them?"

"I got them from home, they were left over from when I had a chest infection earlier in the year" the lie came to him easily. He didn't want to get Santana in trouble, even though he had a feeling she had betrayed his trust to Finn.

"Well they won't do. I'll prescribe you something else" the doctor wrote something in her notes and then continued her examination. She looked over the rest of the bruises and cuts quickly before moving her attention to the dark bruising surrounding his throat. He grew unconfortable under her scrutiny.

"Can you tell me how these happened?" she said after what felt like forever. Blaine wasn't expecting that question and it he wasn't sure why it mattered.

"If I know how they were made I can better assess the type of damage that may have been caused" the doctor explained when he failed to answer.

"One of the men... he..um .. he put his hands around my throat and..."Blaine trailed off shifting unconfortably on the bed. He saw Carole put her hand to her mouth out of the corner of his eye.

"How much pressure did he use?" even the doctors voice was gentler now.

"I don't understand".

"Did you pass out at any point?" she pressed.

"Yeah I think so" he tried not to think about those thick fingers wrapped around his throat, cutting of the air until he thought he was going to die, and how a small part of him had welcomed it.

He didn't realise that he was starting to panic until he felt a hand slip into his and Carole softly speaking to him. "It's okay Blaine, you're safe now, it's okay".

"Are you okay?" Kate asked him once his breathing was back under control. He gave yet another slight nod.

"Well seeing as it's been a few days since the attack I'm going to assume that there's no serious damage, something like that would have made itself known by now. Kate here needs to take some swabs and some blood samples. Then I'll need you to remove your underwear and put a gown on so I can check for any other damage". Save the best for last, Blaine couldn't contain a slightly odd sounding laugh at that. Carole shot him a concerned look and really, why wouldn't she, because this was as far from from funny as you could get. He gave himself a mental shake, he really didn't want anyone seeing how close to losing it he was right now.

He watched as Kate removed several large cotton swabs from a packet and then lay bags out to put them in.

"Can you open your mouth for me Blaine" Kate asked and he did. He stared at the wall and tried to be anywhere but here, in this room as she ran the swab around the inside of his mouth. He only registered what the doctor had said about drawing blood when Kate started tapping a vein in his arm. He pulled away sharply before she could insert the needle.

"Why do you need to draw blood?" Great now his voice was shaking, was it possible to seem any more pathetic?

"There are a few tests we need to run" Dr Sanders explained.

"What for?" He didn't even know why he asked the question because now that he thought about it it was pretty obvious. He couldn't believe he hadn't thought about it before. The room spun alarmingly as all the awful possibilities whirled in his head.

"Certain sexually transmitted diseases, the most obvious one being HIV of course". He flet Carole squeeze his hand a little tighter at the word.

Blaine knew how this worked, he'd been very thorough in his research when he'd looked up all the sex stuff awhile ago. He knew that even if the first test came back negative he'd have to be tested again in a few months time. This really was never going to be over. He was so caught up in imagining all the horrible possibilities that he didn't even feel the needle go in as Kate quickly and efficiently drew the blood she needed. He did however notice the bright red vials of blood sitting on the side. He wondered if any one of them contained his death sentence.

"Can you put this on now?" Kate handed him a hospital gown.

"Do you want me to stay?" Carole spoke up beside him. He honestly didn't know, because this was the most humiliating thing he'd ever experienced and when he really thought about it he didn't even know Kurt's step mom that well. Did he really want her seeing what was about to happen? He wasn't sure of anything other than the fact that her hand holding his was the only thing keeping him solid now. He had a feeling that if she let go he'd just start to disintergrate until there was nothing left. Instead of answering her he just squeezed her hand tighter.

He only let go of her hand whilst he performed the neccasary act of removing his underwear and slipping the open backed gown over his shoulders and then grabbed it again tightly.

He held it whilst he lay down on his side. He held it whilst Kate took her swabs. He held it whilst Dr Sanders prodded and poked. He held it and tried not to listen as Dr Sanders mentioned tearing. He held it whilst the tears ran down his face. He held it whilst the last shred of his dignity was taken from him.


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