June 4, 2012, 11:43 a.m.
There's all kinds of courage.: Chapter 16
E - Words: 2,274 - Last Updated: Jun 04, 2012 Story: Closed - Chapters: 48/? - Created: Sep 20, 2011 - Updated: Jun 04, 2012 204 0 0 0 0
Burt squeezed Blaine's shoulder but couldn't speak past the huge lump in his throat.
Carole felt Finn pull his hand from hers and then he was gone, through the door and running. She gave one heartbroken look at her husband and then followed her son out of the room.
Kurt continued to stroke his boyfriend's hair as the other boy cried his heart out.
"It's okay Blaine, everything's going to be okay" and he wanted to believe that more than anything in the world.
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Finn didn't know why he did it, he just knew that he couldn't be in that room anymore. Couldn't watch as Blaine fell apart.
He ran down the hallway only stopping when he heard his mom's desperate cry behind him.
"Finn please, stop" the words stopped him dead in his tracks, because where was he running to exactly. There was no where he could go that this wouldn't be real. He leant back against the wall and let his feet slide from under him so that he ended up sitting on the floor with his back to it. His long legs took up most of the corridor but luckily there didn't seem to be many people about. He shut his eyes and let the tears run down his cheeks.
He felt him mom sit down beside him and let her pull his head down onto her chest. He only realised she was crying too when he felt her tears hit the back of his neck.
"This is just so..."Finn didn't finish the sentence, didn't know what he was trying to say. Couldn't put into words how he felt right now.
"I know honey" Carole agreed.
"We should have known" he looked up at her with pleading eyes and saw the same pain he felt reflected there.
"None of us realised".
"We should have" Finn insisted. Because he'd known something was wrong. Okay never in his worst nightmares had he imagined something as bad as this, but still.
"Maybe, but if Blaine didn't want us to know, how could we".
"I don't understand, why would he keep this a secret?"
"I'm sure there's lots of reasons, a big part of something like this is the shame" Carole sighed.
"He shouldn't feel ashamed, it wasn't his fault".
"I know that but when something like this happens it just messes with your head so much. Blaine seems like he likes to come across as the strong one, he probably thinks he should have been able to do something to stop them" his mom seemed so sad as she spoke those words.
"God this is so fucked up" Carole never even flinched. "How do we..., what do we do now. I don't even know what to say to him. I'm not sure I can face him, what if I say the wrong thing?"
"It's going to be hard Finn, so much harder than anything we've ever done before, but the thing we need to remember is, that Blaine's going to need us, even if he doesn't think so. The best thing we can do right now is just be there for him, even if you don't say a word to him just by being there with him through all that's going to come that will speak a thousand words".
"Oh god I just ran out of there, why did I do that" Finn gasped out.
"To be honest honey, I don't think Blaine even noticed. But we should probably go back now, Blaine and Kurt are going to need all the support we can give them."
Finn stood and then helped his mom get up. Finn wasn't sure he was ready to go back in that room, but he knew this wasn't about him. However bad he was feeling he couldn't imagine what Blaine was going through. They walked back down the corridor hand in hand.
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Burt stood with his hand on Blaine's shoulder and tried not to let any of the anger he was feeling bleed through into his fingers. He felt like breaking something but he knew the last thing either of those boys needed right now was to have to deal with his anger.
He looked at his son, but Kurt only had eyes for Blaine. His hand continued to stroke lazy circles in his boyfriend's hair and tears continued to run down his face.
Blaine's shoulders stopped shaking and he seemed to be getting himself back under control. At least that's what Burt thought, until he heard the words start to spill from the boy's mouth. They were slightly muffled because Blaine still had his head buried in the mattress. Burt realised that he was nervous for the moment when he could see Blaine's face, he wasn't sure he could handle what he would see there.
"I'm so sorry " Blaine began. "I've ruined everything, it's all my fault. I should have stopped them".
All the while he was speaking Kurt was shaking his head muttering the same word over and over "No".
Blaine didn't seem to hear though, just kept repeating himself. Kurt removed his hand from the curly mess of hair and put it on top of where Blaine clutched his other hand in both of his.
"Please Blaine, don't say those things" Burt hated the pain that he heard in his son's voice.
"Blaine I need you to look at me" Kurt said but Blaine just ignored him and kept muttering words of self hatred.
"I'm such a coward. You must hate me. I'm so sorry".
"Blaine please" Kurt pleaded and was rewarded with Blaine raising his head slightly from the bed. From where he was stood behind Blaine he couldn't see his face but he could see Kurt's and that was enough to cause his grip to tighten on the smaller boy's shoulder. He regretted it as soon as he felt Blaine tense up.
"I'm so sorry Kurt, please don't hate me" the words were much clearer now and all the more heartbreaking for it.
"Oh Blaine" Kurt ran a finger down the other boys face smiling sadly at him. "I could never hate you. I need you to know two things. One is that I love you, nothing will ever change that and the other thing" Kurt paused to take a breath before he continued, " is that this wasn't your fault".
Burt had never been prouder of his son than he was right then.
"He's right Blaine" Burt finally found his voice. "No matter what you think, you've done nothing wrong" some of the anger he'd been doing so well to keep under control seeped out then. "It was those sick bastards fault" he felt Blaine tense under his hand again. "And when you're ready I need you to speak to the police so we can make sure they pay for it".
Blaine turned to look at him and Burt felt his knees go weak at what he could see in the other boy's eyes. Pain, suffering and most of all shame. In fact Blaine could only meet his eyes for a second before he looked away again. Burt felt bad because he was relieved that he didn't have to look into those pits of despair anymore.
"I don't think I can" his voice sounded so defeated and tired, but yet he pulled his hands away from Kurt's and stood up. "I don't want any of this".
"I know" Burt said dropping his hand from his shoulder. "But we can't just pretend like none of this happened".
"Why can't we?" Blaine was looking at him again now and Burt could see that he was starting to panic.
"Because that won't fix anything, that's not how it works son".
Blaine seemed to fold in on himself at Burt's words. He wrapped his arms around himself and hugged them to him. "I'm just so tired" he barely spoke above a whisper.
"I know Blaine" Burt couldn't understand how his heart could keep breaking over and over, surely once was enough. He reached his arms out to the boy and saw the internal struggle that Blaine went through when he saw the gesture. He could tell that Blaine really wanted to let him hold him but that he still didn't want to look weak.
"Please Blaine let us help you" Burt took a step forward and Blaine let him wrap his arms around him. He felt the broken boy stiffen in his arms for a second before he relaxed into the hold. He held him tightly whilst sobs shook his body and when Blaine's legs gave out on him he sank to the floor with him, never once letting go. He was vaguely aware that Carole and Finn had returned and that everyone in the room was watching them but he never once let go of the boy in his arms. He just held him and let him fall apart.
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Carole walked over to the bed where Kurt lay watching his father hold his boyfriend. She gently took his hand in hers and he looked up at her with fear filled eyes.
"I don't know what to do for him" he admitted looking back at the two people sat on the floor. Blaine's sobs had gotten quieter but they still stayed where they were.
"I know Kurt. I know this seems like the worst thing in the world right now, but we'll get through this. We'll help Blaine get through this and you're not in this alone. Okay?" Carole said the words that needed to be said without having to think about it. She knew that she needed to be strong now, needed to look like she knew what to do. But inside she couldn't help but worry that she was going to do or say something wrong. Just because she was an adult she knew all the boys in the room expected her to have all the answers, as if being a mom meant she knew what she was doing. She prayed that they never found out that she was just as lost as all of them.
Kurt nodded and she was pleased to see a little relief in the slight boy's eyes.
"Come on Blaine, let's get you up" Burt's voice drew her attention back to the two of them. Blaine had sat back, breaking his embrace with Burt, but he kept his head down as though afraid to meet anyone's eyes.
Finn stepped forward to offer his help but Blaine ignored it and started to stand on his own. He only got half way though before he stopped with a sharp hiss.
Carole watched with a frown on her face as he continued to straighten up, reading the tell tale signs that he was in pain on his face.
"Blaine" she tried to draw his attention to her but he wouldn't look. She continued anyway " Are you hurt?"
Blaine started to shake his head, even now the need to pretend he was okay was still going strong.
"I saw your clothes Blaine" Carole persisted. "Your t-shirt was all torn up and it had...blood on it."
"Um yeah, I ...they roughed me up a bit" Blaine finally admitted.
"I know this is hard Blaine but you need to trust us now. You have to let us help you" Carole continued to reassure the frightened boy.
"I know. It's just...it's hard you know" and now he did look at her, only for a second before he quickly averted his eyes again. But it was long enough for Carole to see a hundred different emotions flare in them. He was crying out for help that he didn't know how to ask for.
Carole walked over to him then and placed a hand gently on his cheek. She felt him swallow thickly as she did. "Please just let me look, you don't want to make an old lady worry do you?" she smiled at him.
Blaine didn't answer but he did pull the long sleeved top he was wearing up slightly.
Carole bit back the gasp that threatened to escape when she saw the multi-colored mess that was his stomach.
A choked off sob came from behind her and she knew that Kurt hadn't been able to keep his own reaction in check.
"Oh Blaine".
"It's not as bad as it looks" Blaine was quick to try and reassure his boyfriend.
"No more lies Blaine" Burt spoke up and looking over at her husband Carole could see how horrified Burt was at what they all could see. "You need to see a doctor, and I'm sorry but I'm not taking no for an answer". Carole could tell it was killing Burt to be so harsh sounding but they both knew that Blaine needed to hear this.
"Okay" Blaine's shoulders slumped and Carole was saddened to see the fight go out of him but was also glad that he was willing to do this. Then he looked at her again "would you...would you go with me please, I don't think I can do this on my own".
"Of course I will honey, of course I will". The thought of it actually terrified her but how could she deny him her help now that he was finally asking for it.
Blaine looked over at Kurt again then and Kurt seemed to know what he was thinking.
"It's okay Blaine, go. I'll be right here waiting when you're done. I'm not going anywhere".
"Okay then" Blaine seemed to draw strength from the words "let's go get this over with".
Carole didn't have the heart to tell him this was just the beginning of a long road. She gave one last look at her family and followed Blaine out of the room. She wasn't sure she was equiped for this but there was no way she was going to let him down now. She just hoped she could be strong enough to help him.